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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (March 6, 1956)
o o They'll Do It Every Time By Jimmy Hatlo VVell.the people m- across the street ' 1 KcST-NOIV WH4T gf - l DID THE EVER VWlNG S4Y THE MESD4MES --y3L X K tfa GET THE MON'EYy TO SHOW) PHYP-FE AMD X ppLV FOff TH4T? UP THE !&r i 1 1 y)r ill FEATURES yVN'DiCATt, fat, 0KLD RIGHTS RESERVED notes From the News o Sy UMITED PRESS Alexandria, Minn. Adlai Stevenson on' world peace: "Peace never comes on the bargain counter ... if Russia and the satellites sank beneath the seas, there would still be trouble . . . for nationalism is bumping imperialism in many parts of the world." Rochesier, N.H Stn. Estes Kefauver (D.-Tenn.) on world peace: O "The truth is w ! not doing nearly enough to advance the cause of peace in the world. And we are so intent on enjoying the so-called prosperity of these times, that we are falling behind in critical areas of defens." o St. Petersburg, Fla. Yankee pitcher Don Larsen's mother on her advice before he lft for spring training: "Make sure you get your proper rest, and be careful when you pitch to that fellow Ted Williams." Chicago Stanley Jani, 41, on why ha kept his 21-year-old wife, Betty, a virtual prionr during the 15 months of their mar riage: Q "She was all mine and I wanted to keep her that way." Evansville, Ind. Broadway singer Gloria Lane on being de nied a concert appearance in Indianapolis, Ind., because she is pregnant: "Motherhood must be a crime in Indianapolis." ,On The Side By E. V. Durling (Distributed by King Features Syndicate, Inc.) o Many men believe women wager wildly at recourses. QThat they habitaually play hunches. Females just pretend they wager that way. It is part of the act to make men feel smarter and superior. The ladies know what they are doing. I wee heard a women say as she urumphantly displayed a win ning ticket on a horse named Ocean Lass, "I bet on it because I was born by the beach." Just bere the race I had heard this same woman say to a feminine companion, "Ocean Lass looks good. Finished only a length behind the winner last tim and in better company." So that was the real reason she bet on the horse. Women are too fond of money to take a chance on losing it foolishly. Sweater Girl The original sweater girl was Lily Langtry. She had the figure to be a sensation in a sweater. Many of the young women of the period, who were similarly proportioned, then took to wear ing sweaters. It might be pos sible that your great-grand mother was a sweater girl. Passing By Vic Hershkowitz, world's champion handball player. He's from Brooklyn. The first hand ball ccrt in this country was constructed in the beautiful bor ough across the bridge about 75-years ago by Phil Casey who was also a world's champion. Please Note ' When Albert Payson Ter hune's mother, who wrote under the name of Maro Harland, was 46, she suffered from lung trou ble and, was told by doctors she had only three months to live. She lived for 45 years after that dying at the age of 91. So it ijas been said, "She fooled the doc tors." That's not necessarily so. I believe doctors frequently tell people they only havea short time to live so they will take bet ter care of themsels. Literary Note The modern Elinor Glyn is Barbara Cartland, who is the author of about 70 novels, most of them dealing with the more torrid aspects of that thing called love. Among Barbara's best sellers are the novels titled "A Virgin in Mayfair." "ast Off Piccadilly" and "Escape From Passion." Advice Every young turf enthusiast should keep in mind the advice of the late Confucius, namely: "The more you know, the more luck you will have." Study the science of handicapping, master the art of reading a facing Form. If a young man of 21 as siduously studies the aforemen tioned, he could by the time he reaches middle age be able to break even at the races. What more can one ask? Briefly What family of your acquaint ance has the most unusual names? Have been informed there is a Chicagoan named Stonewall Jackson McGee, who has a brother named Junius Bru tus McGee.. Also a brother named Xenophen McGee. And a sister named Lalla Rookh McGee. . . . A book people desiring to be come successful writers of pop ular songs might find helpful is that by Arthur Korb, titled "How to Write Songs That Sell." Almost Confidential The girls of this country are getting taller but the height of the average American man is still five feet seven. That's why the height building shoe business is so good. . . . Have been told a four edged safety razor blade is manufactured in Japan but have yet to see one. Appears to be a practical idea that should be very popular among thrifty shavers. Truman Defends Remarks in Memoirs Kansas City, Mo. MR) For mer President Truman said the remarks in the second volume of his memoirs, which went on sale Monday, would stand "be cause I stated the facts." Gen. Douglas MacArthur, Bernard Baruch, and former Ambassador Pat Hurley have taken exceptions to parts of the book. "If people do not agree with me, that is their privilege," Mr. Truman said, "but these are the facts." ' The news conference turned to politics when Mr. Truman was asked if he believed the Democrats should duplicate the tactics of the successful 1948 campaign. "Every presidential year has different conditions that must be met as they come up," Mr. Truman said. "In 1948 I wanted the people to be informed of the issues. It was the only way that I could get the issues to the peo ple, because 90 per cent of the press was against me. Maybe this year we will have a fair press and can get the issues to the people without a whistle stop campaign." Johns-Manville Decision On Oregon Plant Waited Portland (U.R) Decision on whether the Johns-Manville corporation will construct a multi-million dollar plant in Ore gon or not is expected to be forth coming this week. The company has been investigating the feasi bility of constructing an Oregon plant to manufacture insulating board, utilizing lodgepole pine as a raw material. The company last year began investigating the possibility of constructing a Southern Oregon plant, making use of the prev iously unused lodge-pole pine stands. La Grande, Ore. (U.R) Mrs. Leonard Davis, Tigard, Ore., died in a hospital here Sunday night from injuries suffered a few hours earlier in an auto accident. Scientific Tests Made in J What Makes Jokes Comical Tuesday, March 6. 1958 By DELOS SMITH United Press Science Editor New York (U.R) A scientific experiment into just what it is that people consider to be funny, had shown that this joke "Actress to room clerk: 'Can you give me a room and bath?' clerk: ' I can give you a room, but you'll have to take your own bath.' " is much funnier than this one: "A horse-dealer, in recommend ing a saddle horse to his client, said: 'If you mount this horse at four o'clock in the morning, youwill be in Seattle at 7:30 in the morning.' Asked the client: "What will I do in Seattle at 7:30 in the morning?' " See Punch Line The reason the first joke is quite funny and the second joke isn't very funny, according to the findings of Prof. Douglas T. Kenny of the University of British Columbia is that you can see the punch line coming, but the punch line of the second joke comes as a complete sur prise. His conclusion, then was that the expected in a joke is more likely to get a big laugh than e, - DIES Dorman H. Smith of NEA Service, Inc., one of the nation's most widely pub lished editorial cartoonists, died at his home in Fairfax, Calif. He was 64. First joining NEA in Cleveland in 1921, his cartoons won acclaim for the their originality and timely interpretation of the news. He was the winner of many awards, including citations from Sigma Delta Chi, Head liners Club and Freedom Foundation. French Premier Meets With US Ambassador Paris (U.R) Premier Guy Mollet met Monday with U. S. Ambassador C. Douglas Dillon, reportedly to soothe American worries over French criticism of Western policies to counter Moscow's peace offensive. Mollet called on Dillon after reports from Washington indi cated the State Department was shocked by French Foreign Min ister Christian Pineau's dram atic call Friday for a thorough overhaul of the Western ap proach to Communism. t! e unexpected. There are other things to be considered, of course, such as the quality of the joke, but he didn't go into them. Collected Jokes He collected a bunch of jokes and got 55 men and women to rate them as to whether the punch line proved to be pretty much as anticipated, whether it came as a big surprise, or wheth er it surprised a little but not much. He wound up with 30 tested jokes, ten in each cate gory. The jokes quoted are ex amples of the two extremes. The following is an example of the middle kind: "Friend: 'Frank, I hate to tell you that last night at the party, your sister promised to become my wife. Can you forgive me for taking her away?' 'Shucks, that's what the party was for.' " These 30 jokes he tried on 114 of his students, by having them rate them as quite funny, medium funny, and not very funny. The anticipated punch line came out by far the fun- MEDFORD (OREGON) MAIL TRIBUNE THREB New York (U.R) David Lawrence, editor of U. S. News and World Report, has been named to receive the annual award for "outstanding pro American accomplishment" of the American Jewish League against Communism, Inc. niesfc, and the complete surprise punch line hardly got a smile from anyone. The in-between type proved in-between in fun niness, too. YOU CAM DEPEND ON MY FUTURE BOSS FOR THE I I ffijf SERVICE REWARD FOR LION Columbus, O. U.R) Joy H. Hunt is offering S100 for the return of a lost lion." The lion was one of two stone ornaments decorating the Hunt lawn. Use Mail Tribune Want Ads The Community's Biggest Marketplace Just Call 2-6141 Use Tribune Want Ads LOYD TERMITE CONTROL mm Protect Tour Home from TERMITES . FREE inspection Ph. Ashland 2-7557 We Install Foundations Economy Grade 2x4-8' $10.00 Per M' CHENEY STUD MILL CENTRAL POINT Bock Stairs: Exercise by Eisenhower By MERRIMAN SMITH United Press White House Writer Washington (U.R) Backstairs at the White House: R. C. Smith, Salisbury, Mo., who describes himself as "U:S. Army, retired," does not quite see eye to eye with President Eisenhower's doctors. Writing from a military hos pital where he is recovering from a coronary thrombosis similar to that suffered by the President last Sept. 24, Smith says: "No one, according to medical history, has completely recover ed from a coronary. They don't do it here. "Try to be insured after one, and furthermore, try to get a job that requires any sort of strenuous work." Smith also reports to "Back stairs" that newsmen covering Mr. Eisenhower are in some sort of cahoots to keep the truth about the. chief executive's phy sical activity from the public. He says the reporters hide the fact that the President goes around the golf course in an electric cart instead of walking. The photographers, particular ly, will be deeply wounded by this. They thought their pictures Iron Age Village Believed Discovered Genoa, Italy U.R) Archeolo gists said today they had turned up enough evidence in an exca vation at Sestri Ponente to de termine they had discovered a village some 2,000 years old. A group led by Prof. Aldo Lamboglia of the Ligurian Stud ies Institute has been working on the diggings about a year. The first evidence of the Iron Age village turned up during the installing of a World War II anti-aircraft artillery battery. 01 Mr. Eisenhower riding in a golf cart at Thomasville,' Ga., was printed on every -front page in the country. ' Also, it has been widely publi cized ever since Mr. Eisenhower took office that he used an elec tric golf cart at Denver, Augus ta, and Gettysburg even before his heart attack. Press Secretary James C. Hag erty is of for a brief vacation. He needs it. He has been on the hot seat 24 hours a day since the President's heart attack. Only White House officials who must know have been told by Jim where he intends to loaf. For one thing, he wants to get away from fhe telephone. When in Washington, it is not unusual for Jim to get between 10 and 30 telephone calls at home at night, some well after midnight. Most Autos To Be In Economy Run Los Angeles U.R) United States Auto club officials said today 98 per cent of the nation's automobile production will be represented in this year's Mobil-1 gas Economy run. A total of 22 cars will com- j pete against one another in five j price divisions and in a special j small-engine class. Winners in j each division will compete for ; the run's highest honor, the j sweepstakes trophy. The trophy winner will be the car attaining the maximum ton-miles per gal lon. The Economy run begins in Los Angeles March 19 and ends at Colorado Springs, Colo., on March 22. Presidential Assistant Sher man Adams is turning into the fashion plate of the White House, i When he goes out for a relative- ly formal evening, he wears a j pastel yellow ruffled shirt with ! his dinner jacket. Some of his j old lumber jack friends of the ; North Woods probafbly wouldn't ; recognize him. I Turn To Pages and FOR ADRIENNE'S ,4 BIG LIQUIDATION SALE ANNOUNCEMENT I" X7 Builders Supply QUALITT BLOCKS Bricks. Flues Drain Tile T27 W. McAndrews Phone 2-4107 Daily's U-Drivs Medford Airport SPECIAL! 7'2"xll" West Bend Junior Oven Broiler Rack and pan combination. Small enough for easy care but large enough for every day use. Pan may be used separately for baking and roasting. Reg. $1.85 Value $149 For the Tops in Hardware, Houeswares, Paint, etc., Always Shop HUBBARD BROS. FOR YOUR OLD MIXER REGARDLESS OF AGE, MAKE OR CONDITION ON THE PURCHASE OF A NEW AUTOMATIC MIXM ASTER MODEL IIW and BLENDER MIXMASTER features exclusive bowl fit beaten and bowl speed controls MIXMASTER WITH BLENDER - blends, liquefies, chops, shreds, grinds, purees, grates, whips, pulverizes, churns, cuts and crumbs Hnbem mixmaster MODEL IIW REGULAR PRICE 44.50 ffiiiheam blender REGULAR PRICE 12.95 TOTAL VALUE $57.45 AUOWANCC FOI OlO MIXtt 7.50 MAGGIE MAGNETIC Chalk Board ll"xl4" Magnetic Chalk Board with magnetic eraser, magnetic chalk holder. "With chalk' and hanging fix tures. Makes excellent household bulletin board. Only $1 98 LUFKIN STEEL TAPE 50 Ft. Lufkin Ni-Clad Steel Tapes in covered steel case. ne most pop- t m ff lar tinp far harrl 3 ft UU usage. 4 TANK SPRAYERS Acme open top and funnel top tank sprayers are built for many years of easy trouble free op eration. Designed- for heavy spraying and hard usage. Built of premium galvanized steel. All brass extension tube and nozzle. 1 'i to 3Vz gallon capacities. $ 75 $95 '5' T to 9' fttagnesfatii is the Miracle! J- -V- S5ss?-ZZg STAINLESS I by wagner 4- skillet on he square Newest Innovation In coolcware . . , miracle, Magnalite with lightweight Magnesium. Conducts heat faster, makes all foods taste better. Brings out the flavors you put in. New Square design offers 20 more cooking areai Special Introductory prict .11 -'S We're Overstocked! REGULAR $2.50 VALUE HAND SPRAYERS MONEY 1 INDUSTRIAL STAPLE TACKERS Gun Tackers Ideal for General F", . -Fsjf&fto. i Tacking. Compress t -TgS 1 handle staples 1 Tm j V drive accurately im lm iii '"lUT. ' f hand does the iob. Mode to 916" staples. WIDELY USbD FOR TACKING Shipping tags Upholstering Signs Displays Insulation Ceiling Tile Screens Cabinets Waterproof liners Rug Pads Furniture Many other uses.' Hammer Tackers for Bigger-, Jobs, lacks fast os you swing it. Staples feed and drive auto matically. One hand operation. Models drive 316" to 916" staples. 3 QUART GALVAN'IZED TANK Vi" x 12" TUBE CONTINUOUS SPRAY Here is an awfully good buy for anyone who needs a utility sprayer for roses, shrubbery or low growth. The galvanized tank is rust resistant and will stand rough hanrling. 4 A m Priced i low because we have too many. Regular rl 111 2.50 value I V V Make your back yard Private CYCLONE FENCE and GATES Provide, at low cost, safe playground for the children. Protect your garden keep out in truders. Quickly installed on wood or steel posts. Woren or welded. Writ or pfion (or emp1tt Ouo-Fort itory. GARDEN CAUT SC395 Make early clean up work with a Boyeo Garden Cart. Larger, capacity, molded semi-pneumatic tire.. One piece tubular steel han dle. Assembled ready to use. aiier Ik. 7 MAIN AND RIVERSIDE MEDFORD, OREGON PriONE 2-6189 If" o
