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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 30, 1955)
0! o O G O 0 O SIX VlZVQGX&tCWjiO) HAIL TRIUWZ Tuesday, August 30, 19S5 -Q i Theyffi fS It Every Time By Jimmy Hatlo 1 HtH-f'"I OWT THe TOOR ATTIST HASN'T W&KaPOME 5 A PIS I If PRAW A TRAHT LY CT IT 1005H EMOOQH-TWSf RAPA-MAP6 EXECUTIVE-! 3 I fiJTICAN QIVEVOO , NECK-WARMER WANTS TO J. (s ANyBOPV 3AVE HIM I n f SO CONSTRUCTIVfc V POA MONCWMORNlNS W A SUGGESTION HEt? J CRITICISM IF YOU PONT W .SItiH 'HAVEHW MuS I30 , eont Eoio mmn raroiCATt, Ut. world txzan nmvtiTy SyMPATHiriNQ WITH 7se quick-sketch euy V5.THC. KIWTfflSK k) TUB HMTLO HXTTO i AMTT IrKBVfi mifiml QtfCH, rLA Writer Warns New York Visitors To Dodge Convention of Pun Preservers ; By H. D. QUIGG : United. Press Correspondent : New York (U.R) Beware "of entering the city of New York iiext month. SPRPFH will be here, in convention. . ; That's the Society for the Pres- ervationend Revival of un as a Fongi of Humor. They are just awful people! ; They go for puns and word play in general. They're no good for humanity. Avoid them like he plague. The black plague. The things they do to the Eng lish language shouldn't happen even to Pidgin English. They're no good, I tell you. ; For instance: I 0?e there weee two diplo mats having a conference at Summit, N.J., naturally. T&ere was a British diplomat, Ronald, and a Russian d$lomat, Rudolph. As they' emerge frgm the build ing, $e hear Ronald say: - "JLsay, old ch, it seems to be snowing." "Nyet," says Rudolph, "It's raining." ' "Oh, no, ISay, really, it's snov' "Rain," says the-Russian. ' , At this point, Ronald's wife says to him: "Pay no attention to Rudolph, dear. He's right." "What?" says Ronald. "Him right? Why should I listen to him?" "Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, deiV," says4he wife. See what I mean? These people are a rriace. They tell abouj; the gigantic, almost extin mammal from Australia called the rary that created sgch a sensation in Eng land. This rary was shippea to London for aoo, but it proved too bi and cumbersome for cag ing, so the zoo gave it away. The fellow they gave it " to tried keeping the rary in his garage, but its head stuck out one end and its tail the other and it caused all kinds of com- Gloria Expected To Go for $32,000 Baltimore (U.R) Twelve-year-old Gloria Lockerman, who has spelled her way to $16,000 on a television quiz program, will go for the $32,000 question tonight, a. friend of the family said. The friend is Mrs. L. D. Heav ener, who lives on a farm ad joining the family home of Glor ia's grandparents, the Rev. and Mrs. Vivian T. Keys, at Gap Mills, W. Va. Gloria and her grandparents spent the week end at Gap Mills, returning to Balti more Monday. Mrs. Heavener said Mrs. Keys told her it definitely was decid ed that Gloria should try to double her winnings on the pro gram. The girl has lived with her grandparents since her par ents were divorced several years ago. Gloria, who someday hopes to become a teacher, has been nam ed an honorary teacher in the Baltimore school system by May or Thomas D'Alesandro Jr. He Said the child has done much to enhance the prestige of mod ern Education methods with her "charming personality and abil-ify." motion, what with people ' star ing and dogs barking. Finally the man decided to dispose of the rary. He hired a big dump truck, put the rary in it, and headed for the White Cliffs of Dover. When they got there, the rary wary, said to the man: "What goes on here? What are you going to do with me?" "I'll tell you," said the man, "we're going to raise this truck and tip you right over the cliff." "Goodness gracious, how far is it down there?" asked the rary. "About 350 feet," said the man. The rary stared down the cliff. "It's a long way to tip a rary," he said. And then there was the Afri can king who decided his sub jects .were killing too many lions. He proclaimed a law forbidding lion killing. The subjects, who always had considered lion kill ing great sport, loyally obeyed the law. Soon they were knee deep in lions. The situation got so bad that the citizens rose up in anger and threw the king out of office. That's all for today. I feel rather numb. FACE-LIFTING SUGGESTED Karlsruhe, Germany (U.R) A little face-lifting can not only be worth dozens of hours on the psychiatrist's couch, but it's a lot less expensive, the German Therapists Congress was told yesterday. A Berlin plastic sur geon said "woman is today so embroiled in the battle for ex istence that she cannot perform her work if she has an inferiority complex about her face." Penney's big before-season selection qf winter coats at an unheard of low 88 ll ' .'. ....... .. . ' I y 1 j ifi. x I 1. , Penney's gets th jump en winter! BEFORE the sea son starts, we have a terrific special purchase of brand new coats . . . deep-textured Zibeline fleeces, all wool checks, reused wool and reprocessed mohair blends, wool-face, cotton-back knit curls; colors galore, fashion's newest styles, quality de tailed and tailored. Pick today, pay little by little on Penney's Layaway plan and get the buys of your life right now at Penney's. - ON SALE WEDNESDAY In And Around Gold Hill Gold Hill Mrs. Delos Walk er, her two daughters, Dixie and Linda, Mrs. Lawrence Wills, a sister-in-law of Mrs. Walker, and her daughter, Chris Ann, Klam ath Falls, recently returned from a trip North where they visited with a niece, Mrs. Art Emmens, and a sister, Mrs. Elinor Roney, both Vancouver, . Wash. They also visited with another sister, Mrs. Mildred Patterson, Salem. Mrs. Ruby Quackenbush has purchased the John v Steiber home in Gold Hill and plans to take possession sometime in Sep tember. Mr. and Mrs. Paul Thome and son Marvin are on a vacation trip to Nebraska to visit rela tives and friends. Hal Bishop, Gold Hill artist, will leave for Reedsport soon where he will do 'some sign work for the Richfield Oil" com pany stations. Mr. and Mrs. Lester Parker and daughter Linda have re turned from a vacation to Hep-" pner, Ore., where they visited his two brothers, Frank and Loyal Parker and families. Jim Parker of the Old Stage rd. received a broken rib re cently when he rolled out of bed. "Prince Albert," the bantam rooster which won the fourth an nual rooster crow staged in Rogue River June 18, died Sun day at the home of his owner, Albert Harrison Jr. ' Mrs. Jack White, daughter, Sharon, sons Robert and Garry, and Mrs. White's nephews, Ter ry and Steven Poe, Downey. Calif., who are visiting here, all went to Lake O' Woods to camp out for a few 'days. FAMILY MISHABf Mendon, Vt.- (U.R) e m- othy Murphys recently cut short a Florida vacation when notified that their daughters, Julia and Jean, were hurt in automobile i j a imi later. accidents, n wun -- hanother daughter, Helen, frac tured her ankle ana a sun, iu.. othy, suffered hand burns while burning rubbish. The Murphy's are keeping theirs fingers crossed. They have two other children. PemeyB HUNDREDS MORE UNADVERTISED ITEMS CUT TO THE BONE . . . HURRY DOWN AND SEE THDM! I I -X. 1 M t I WEDNESDAY MORNING SORRY! No Phone or Mail Orders Mdoimey aim Ynnnir IPcnxcIkett! o LJ SORRY! No Layaways on E.&;M. Items J WEDNESDAY ONLY! BE HERE EARLY AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THESE RE DUCED PRICES! READ THIS AD - -i EVERY ITEM REDUCED TO SELL IN A HURRY! 206 only Boys' Better Western Jeans, Wt. 13iz. Sizes 12-14-16 . . . Oh My! r.......pr. T.22 500 yds. Better Quality 80 sq. Percale, Discontinued Rondo, Full Bolts. A Steal . . . . . yd. 19c 120 only Better Dacron Panels, Size 42x81. Ivory . . . Seeing is Believing ea 1.33 144 only Much Better Extra Heavy Cannon Bath Towels, 24x46 . . . Hurry! Hurry! ............. .................Lea. 75cg 300 pair Women's Better Nylon Hose. Extra sheer. 60-15 . . . All sizes No Fooling. Perfect Quality . .. 2 pr. 1.00 1 00 only Men's Better Cotton Plisse Sport Shirts . . . Short Sleeves. S-M-L. Don't Wait! 88c 40 only Men's Better Cotton Plisse Pajamas . . . B-C . . . Prices Slashed! pr. 1.77 100 only Boys' Better Western Straw Hats . . . What a Bargain! .......... 25c 120 only Boys' Much Better Spt. Shirts. Ginghams, Butchers . . . Big Reduction 1.00 125 only Boys' Better Denim Boxer Jeans . . . Size 2 to 8. Be Here Early! . 88c 50 only Women's Better Cotton Skirts. Plains and Prints. All Sizes. A Steal 1.99 10 only Toddlers' Better Car Seats . . . Out They Go 3.00 60 only Girls' Better Orion Cardigan Sweaters . . . To Clear! 3.00 144 only Toddlers' Better Flannel Shirts . . . Sizes 1 to 4. What a Buy! .1.00 450 pes. Better Jewelry. All Types including Pearl Necklaces . . . Ouch! (plus tax) 50$ 400 yds. Better Woven Gingham . . . Sanforized. Full Bolts.Slashed! 2 yds. 1.00 400 only Better Quality Flour Squares, 35x35 . . . Hurry for These! 5 for 1.00 500 yds. Better Quality Drapery Fabrics, 48" Width . , . Don't Wait! ........:........... yd. 1.00 150 only Women's Better Plisse Gowns & Pajamas. All sizes. Final Reduction! ............ 1.50 72 only Women's Better Nylon Stretch Panties, Sizes S-M-L. To Clear! .77c 60 only . Women's Better Cotton Plisse Shortie Pajamas . . . Out They Go! 50c 24 only Women' Much Better Knit Nylon Slip, Lace Trim . . . What a Buy! 1.00 120 pair .Men's Better Nylon Stretchable Socks. Smart Patterns ... A Real Buy! 2 for 1.00 120 only Men's Better Cotton Briefs. Sizes 30 to 38 . . . While They Last 2 for 1.00 120 only Men's Better Cotton "T" Shirts. Sizes 38 to 46 . . . Out They Go! '. 2 for 1.00 14 only Better Wool Suits. Sizes 38 to 46 . . . Don't Miss These! 37.77 10 only Men's Better Flannel Suits. Sizes 35 to 42 . . . Reduced to Sell 27.77 35 only Better Bed Pillows. Standard Size. Chicken Feathers ... To Clear! ea. 75c 80 only Better Jumbo Plastic Blanket Storage Bags . . . Save! 1.00 40 only Crushed Latex Bed Pillows. -Printed Ticking ... To Clear! .v ea. 1.55 40 only Better Low Loop Cotton Rugs, Size 18x36 ... A Bargain 1.00 40 only Better Blankets, 10 Nylon, 90 Rayon, Size 72x84, Pastels . . . Reduced . ..7..L.......... .. ea. 4.00 12 only Better Looped Rugs, Size 4'x6' . . . Prices Slashed! ....... 3.00 ft 100 only Better Curtains and Panels, Odd Lots . . . To Clear! ....L... 25c If n . . i. n i.. i i " J r A0 a . tl:..' r tv pair Derrer yuanry neaay maae v rapes, hoaoi . ... jui i ney ud pr. A.MJ 72 only Men's Better Quality Sweat Shirts . . . A Penney Special "1 .....1.00 42 only Jr. Boys' Better Shirt and Slack Sets . Reduced to Sell! set 88c 60 pair Jr. Boys' Better Plisse Pajamas, Sizes 4 to 8 . . . Hurry for These!' pr. 1.00 70 only Boys' Better Poplin and Denim Jackets, Sizes 4 to 12 . . . While They Last ..... ....1.00 36 only Boys' Boxer Sets, Rayon Shirt and Twill Pants ... To Clear set 88c ,18 pair Men's Leather Work Shoes, 6 in. Top, Sizes 6 to 10 Vi . . , What a Buy! pr. 4.44 40 pair Children's Better Canvas Play Oxfords . . . Out They Go! pr. I.58 24 pair Men's Better 8" Logger. Boots, Sizes 6V2 to 1 1 E ... Be On Time! ..: pP. 8.88 15 pair Boys' Better Engineer Boots, Sizes VA to 5 . . . Better Hurry for These ..... pr. 6.00 40 only Women's and Men's Faded Blue Denim Jackets, S-M-L . . . Priced to Sell in a Hurry! : 1.99 70 only Women's Milch Better Sleeveless Blouses, Assorted Material . . . To Clear! 1.99 70 only Women's 'Better Dresses, Cottons, Ginghams, Dacrons, Nylons . . . While They Last! .... 2.99 50 only Women's Better Cotton House Dresses . . . Super Reduction! .... 1.77 300 pair Girls' Better Anklets, White Only, Cotton and Nylon Reinforced . . . Hurry! .... 3 for 1.00 20 only Girls' Better Summer Dresses, Broken Sizes ... But a Steal! 1.99 9 only Infants'! Jump Chairs, Heavy Steel Construction ...A Bargain! 5.00 9 only Boys' Better Rayon Spt. Coats, Sizes 27, 28, 516 . . . Super Reduction ........................ 1.99
