Image provided by: Hermiston Public Library; Hermiston, OR
About The Hermiston herald. (Hermiston, Or.) 19??-1984 | View Entire Issue (June 3, 1937)
Thursday, June 3, 1937 THE HERMISTON HERALD, HERMISTON, OREGON U N CO M M O N A M E R IC A N S THE SUNNY SIDE OF LIFE • ----------- • ------------• Clean Comics That Will Amuse Both Old and Young I By Elmo j Scott Watson e w«(t«rn Union THE FEÄTHERHEADS E a r lie s t R e b e l ..Ü FRONT of the statehouse in 1 Boston stands the statue of a woman, with a Bible in her hand and a child snuggled against her. The in scription on the monument tells you that this woman was a “Courageous Exponent of Civil Liberty and Reli gious Tolerance.” But 300 years ago Massachusetts wasn't calling her by any such complimentary names. In the year 1637 she was “that proud dame, that Athaliah," a “ notorious Imposter,” a “ dayngerous Instru ment of the Devell raysed up by Sathan” and a “ Breeder of Her esies.” For she was Anne Hutchin son, the earliest rebel ir this coun try. She became a leader of a group of people who fell under the dis pleasure of the stern Puritans of Massachusetts Bay colony. Because these people held meetings in her house to discuss and criticize the sermons of the Puritan ministers, they finally placed her on trial for heresy, a trial that has teen com pared to that of Joan of Arc at Rouen. Under their questioning, she proved herself more than a match fer her prosecutors. But just at th e ! moment when it seemed that she had defeated her accusers, she burst forth into a long speech describing God’s revelations to her. Thus she convicted herself and her penalty was banishment from the colony. But Anne Hutchinson was more than the first defender of religious freedom in America. She was our earliest feminist. The meetings held in her house, although primarily for religious discussion, were the forerunners of thousands of meet ings since her day, wherever women gather together to improve them selves or the rest of the world. So her house became the “ birthplace of the women’s clubs of America” IN After her banishment from Mas sachusetts Bay colony she went to that haven of religious freedom, the colony of Rhode Island, founded by Roger Williams. There she lived un til 1642 when, left a widow, she took her brood of children (she had borne 14) to the Dutch colony of New York where later she and all of her children were killed. But she had not lived in vain for “ civil liberty and religious tolera tion, the principles for which she suffered exile and death are written into the Constitution of the United States.” The E WAS N a t io n ’s J e s te r baptized as Charles F arrar Browne but the whole H nation once loved him and laughed with him under the name of Arte mus Ward. Born in Maine in 1834, Browne served an apprenticeship in a print shop and then became a journeyman printer. Finally he wandered to Cleveland, Ohio, where he became a local reporter for the Cleveland Plain Dealer and invented the character of “ Artemus Ward,” supposed to be a traveling show man, writing to the paper to give information and to ask for it. Read ers of that paper roared over “ Art- : emus Ward’s” bad spelling and humorous descriptions of his ad ventures and it was not long until Browne got a call from New York to become editor of Vanity Fair, a comic paper. But this editorship did not last long for the wandering foot of the former journeyman printer soon be gan to assert itself. He published “ Artemus Ward, His Book” which had a phenomenal sale. Then he took to the lecture platform and “ Artemus Ward,” until now a ficti tious character, became a living reality to thousands of Americans. One of Ward’s devoted readers was President Lincoln and his book played a role in an historic scene at the White House during the Civil war. In September, 1862, Lincoln called a meeting of his cabinet 0 1 members whom he astonished by reading excerpts from Ward’s book. When they failed to join in his laughter, Lincoln threw down the book and said“ Gentlemen, why don’t you laugh? With the fearful strain | that is upon me night and day, if I didn’t laugh, I should die and you need the medicine as much as I do.” i He then told them the real pur pose of the meeting which was to read to them a paper he had pre pared and which he proposed to issue when the time was ripe That | paper was the Emancipation Proc lamation. When he had finished reading P, Secretary Stanton ex claimed “ M r President, if reading chapters of Artemus Ward is a pre lude to such a deed as this, the book should be filed among the archives of the nation, and the author can onized.” The author was never canonized but before he died in 1867, Artemus Ward had not only become Ameri ca's favorite jester but he had won fame as a humorist in England such as no ether American before him bad e ver know n. The Curse of Progress R a r e F o r e s ig h t ]D Bridget had just started on her duties as housemaid, and on the very first day she came up to her new employer. "Please, mum,” she raid, "would yez moind givin’ me a recommen dation?” “ A recommendation, Bridget!” exclaimed the mistress, with a look of alarm. “ W’hy, you have only just cornel” "Yes, mum,” admitted Bridget, “but you might not be wantin’ to give me one when Oi’m lavin’, mum.”—Buffalo Courier-Express. What a Menu The little girl was tired of waiting for the store clerk to pay some at tention to her so she resorted to strategy. "Hey, she called. “ My father is borne waiting for his break fast.” The clerk succumbed. "What can I do for you?” “ I want a bar of soap, a bottle of ammonia, and a can of lye.”—Bos- J ton G lo b e . a t By GLUYAS WILLIAMS COLO BATHROOM tMKl.ES BfótM O IIU tD I1KXS ÛMC tria m t up u«- Mt e « * * * ÍÜ& F ill « W i M P o r r A w p its« « ' w M ilts VrVlDtV HOW CMP Mill. M M P A M S .ÎÀ * « » PCFP BREAM AMD SiAKfS ÍA K IM 6 BftfH- sose orr WRAPS I t R0Wt> H IM - SílTA éA lM .P O U S nU é M rf D tC O tS io ÍAKÍ Mit ]D
