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About The Hermiston herald. (Hermiston, Or.) 19??-1984 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 18, 1923)
THE HERMISTON HERALD, HERMISTON, OREGON. B rn n ia U iti ■ ^ f r a li) P ublished every T hursday a t H er m iston, U m atilla County, Oregon by U aym ond Crow der, E d ito r and Man- Mger. U ntered as second elase m atter, O eecn b er 1906 a t th e postotfice a t H erm iston, Oregon. Subscription Bates F o r One Y ear .— .....................»2.00 For Six M onths ........................... »1.00 Payable In Advance. Classified or Local Advertising 10 cen ts per Hue for firs t Insertion. M inim um ch arg e 25 cents. Subse q u e n t In sertio n s 5 cents per line. Ain’t She Got Fun O ur office "d ev il" w as recently disappointed in love. The jo lt Is re sponsible for th e follow ing m use: As she m arched up the ch u rch aslle. W ith h er h usband to be by h er side. T h e w orld w ill alw ays call her. The modest b lu sh in g bride. She sees in th e pews around her, Joh n n y , h er h ig h school beau, Tommy, w ho b o u g h t h er Bon Bons, A nd h er seashore lover Joe. T h ere’s billy, h er football hero. W hom once she prom ised to wed, C harlie and M ark, Jim m ie and Itoy, H arold, Floyd an d Ned. She knows th a t th e ir eyes are upon her. T here am id st th e solemn hush. And preten d s she doesn’t see them B u t ye, Gods, w ho w o u ld n 't blush. KILLING THE GOOSE E verybody seem s to he going crazy on the su b ject of tax in g gasoline to build roads. T he sum s v ary in am ount from one cent a gallon to a proposed 5 cen ts a gallon in th e state of Oregon w here m otorists are al read y paying a tax of 2 cen ts a g al lon. It Is tru e th a t autom obiles ben e fit gro atly by good roads b u t they do not b enefit o n e-ten th as m uch as ad jo in in g pro p erty or th e sta te as a' whole, w hich th ro u g h a good road system a ttra c ts thousands of to u rists woh would never otherw ise e n ter the rta te . It Is e n tirely possible th a t ' before th e y ear hus passed we w ill see a proposal to lax every tire sold from »1 to »5, or a proposal to udd a sales tax of some »5 to »25 on every au to mobile sold in addition to th e state license tax. T he field for tax in g the autom obile and oil Industry seems Io be unlim ited hul like nil o th er p ro positions w hich are carried to excess th e aim so u g h t to be accomplished w ill be defeated by the d rastic m eth . > cds applied. W h at m otorist would care to to u r in a sta te th a t had a re p u ta tio n of ch arg in g n tax of 5 cents a gallon on gasoline. W hile, 'th e to ta l am a u n t he m ight pay would be sm all, th e average m an h ates to be held up and w ill steer clear of a holdup proposition. Joseph W ells, colored, w ho claimed he once won th e K entucky Derby and w as one tim e a mem ber of General Nelson A. M ile’s body-guard, died of pneum onia h ere at th e age of 115 years. He wan born in Louisville. K entuckey In 1907. H is m other was a slav e,— E ast Oregonian. Life m ust be Ishort and sweet In the land of colon els and m int julips. A fter w attin g years for th e ir hero to ap p ear some g irls will compromise by m arry in g d ad ’s hired man. GASSED BY THE STAN FIELD SEWER-GAS Wo feel sm all and Insig n ifican t since B ro th er Cleveland, w ho edits th e S tan field Sewer-Gas, gave us special m ention In his last week’s Is sue. You see we a re m erely j ten o’clock guy In a seven o'clock town h u t we are able to d istin g u ish a false alarm and o ur honest opinion Is th a t Mr. Cleveland la a "B ig B en" w ith a couple of w heels loose. He says th a t wo are only a sage b ru sh and ju n ip e r jo u rn alist. T here Is no argum ent. We do not lay claim to any spoclal Intellectu al g ifts along th is line. B u t listen to th e g ig an tic en terp rise In w hich Mr. Cleveland Is Interested. W an t to hear? All rig h t, w e'll tell you. B ut you m ust prom ise • o control your em otions and try not to lough. He publishes th ree papers. Yes, hont lly. flow rem em bor you prom ised not t ' - i t' If wo would nam e th e n . Cn t t! dtunftw ld; a n o th e r a t U m atilla and the th ird Is nt B oardm an. So yoti see h is claim as a e r l t’e pert r o b l' •*»- In very well founded. We have .the utm ost respect republic fb BShdJe persuuuliy som e of for th e tow ns for w hich he p rin ts his the bone fragments. "Thia happened upon the occasion of parodies of Journalism . They ju s t happened to be u n fo rtu n a te In hav « visit by Secretary of W ar Stimson and party in 1911, also the year fol in g "w ished o ff” on them a poor, be lowing, when Secretary Knox end nu n ighted, ego tistical, blue ribbon merous parties made their ceremonial “ boob” as a n editor. trip around the Caribbean Circle,” the He has offered to send us a spell report suj's. The w riter was present ing book in o rd er th a t we may learn upon both occasions and admits, bul to spell. If It Is a duplicate of the not without some self-reproach, that book w hich he uses In w ritin g some he, too, bandied some of the bone of his wise cackles, we advise him to fragments. “It was th at fact," th e report con " ju n k ” It an d su b stitu te a Sears' tlnues, “which first suggested the Ides lloebuck catalogue. If th is does not th a t It should be the concern of Pan- im prove his spelling he m ig h t try Americana, the peoples of the twenty- W ebster. We w ill quote from one of one republics occupying the territory his sheets a n exam ple of some of the of North and South America, with spelling th a t he g ets from th e book the co-or^ratlon of Canada, 4» provide a suitable memorial and final resting which he has offered to us. In the last issue of The B oardm an place for Columbus In the ‘Cradle of America,' as Santo Domingo Is called. Q uicksilver, on page two, colum n one, Popular Move. in an artic le e n title d : "W e Get A "A popular move It should be, and R ise," we find th a t he h as spelled with Its palpably popular appeal Its the word little In th is m an n er: failure would constitute a reflection L-I-L-L-T-E. On the back page of the upon Pan-America. Poor, unfortunate sam e issue in colum n fo u r th ere Is Santo Domingo cannot do It alone, th e word fo rtu n ate . A ccording to though thirty years ago, at the four th e Cleveland version it should be hundredth anniversary of the discovery of America, a Ju n ta Naclonal was spelled F-O-T-R-U-N-A-T-E. duly constituted by Dominican govern As a rule th e fellow who tries to ment decree to erect a monument In m ake a "boob” o u t o f W ebster is so the cathedral. T hat much was accom ig n o ran t th a t he th in k s B. V. D. Is a plished, hut at the tim e It was nrt- derstood the arrangem ent was tem branch of th e Elks. He adm its th a t h e docs no t like porary. While the monument a t the cathedral Is ornate. It Is nowise com our b ran d of gram m ar. m ensurate with the greatness of the Now we are going to quote a few man, nor does It constitute a fitting sentences from th e sam e issue of the or adequate homage for such a world B oardm an paper to show you w hat character." The report concludes with a state M.r Cleveland believes co n stitu tes ment th at the project abandoned on good E nglish. On page two. In th e same article account of the World w ar contemplates above m entioned, and w hich ho the erection of a massive tomb, Its In terior modeled after th at at Leg Inva m akes th e assertio n th a t we "d is lldes, Paris, with Its exterior patterned p lay an u tte r lack of th e E nglish after the lint« of G rant's tomb, In lan g u ag e," he co n stru cts one of his New York. Superimposed on the sentences In th is m an n er: "h e don’t tomb Itself would be a beacutf tower, know 2 and 2 is 4." We are surprised about 300 feet In height. In the top th a t Vi critic, such as he claim s to be, of which would he a great light as would be guilty of a m istake of th is an aid to navigation. n atu re. A ccording to the ru les of W an t Ads B ring R esults E nglish he shotild have said: he doesn't know 2 and 2 a re 4. C ontinu in g he says: "w e w ill send him ." Should be: we sh all send him . A gain "m ay post him self." C orrected: may Inform him self. Can you Im agine SEELEY. FAMOUS IN THIS SPECI anyone displaying such gross Ignor ALTY, CALLED TO PENDLETON ance step p in g fo rth and ad m ittin g F. H. Seeley, of C hicago and P hilla- he Is a critic? P ath etic, Isn’t It? We dclphla, th e noted tru ss expert, will suggest th a t B ro th er Cleveland p re sen t specimens of some of his " p e r personally be a t th e P endleton H otel fect E n g lish ” to an elem entary and will rem ain in P endleton W ed school to be posted in th e class room nesday only, Jun. 24th. Mr. Seeley as an example of ignorance and Its rays: "T h e Sperm atic Shield w ill not only retain any case of ru p tu re per terrla b le effects. We were inform ed upon coming fectly, b u t co n tracts th e opening In to H erm iston th a t th is m aster of 10 days on th e av erage case. T his E nglish was a sm all fry and space result effected d u rin g the day— the was too valuable to answ er an y of rep air continues of Itself th ro u g h o u t his how ling. T his h as been proven to the n ig h t d u rin g sleeep w hile all us. Wc have slo tted him all of the (tra in Is removed. B eing a v ast ad tree adv ertisin g we a re able to give. vancem ent over all form er m ethods H ereafter If he desires additional —exem plyfyiug in sta n ta n e o u s effects publicity we shall have to m ake a Im m ediately appreciable and w ith- itandlng nny stra in or position no charge of ten cents a line. T h is Is our m atter th e size or location. L arg e or reg u lar ra te p e rta in in g to ad v ertis difficu lt cases, or Inclsslonal ru p tu res ing of th is sort. W ith his th ree p ap ers Mr. Cleve (follow ing operatio n s' specially so land claim s to cover th e field. B ut licited. T h is in stru m en t received the when he tells you th a t he covers the only aw ard in E ngland and In Spain, field Just rem em ber w hat they cov producing resu lts w ith o u t surgery er th e field w ith back home on the injections, m edical tre a tm e n t or p re script Ions.W arning— All cases should farm . • i RUPTURE EXPERT HERE COLUMBUS’ BONES NEED REAL TOMB Plan for Great Monument Over Discoverer’s Neglected Re mains Is Revived. IS PAN-AMERICAN PROJECT be cautioned against the use of any ! elastic or web truss with understrap, | as same rest where the lump is and not where the opening is, producing complications necessitating surgical operations. Mr. Seeley has docum ents from th e U nited S tates govern m en t W ashington, D. C., for inspection. He I will be glad Io dem onstrate, w ith o u t | "barge or fit them If desired. Busl- iess dem ands p revent stopping a t any , other place In th is section. Start the New Year Right i «Just Received.! in Stock s Nice Soft Pine Table Tops S u b s c r ib e N o w and Table Legs -to the- Regulation Sizes Hermiston Herald and keep informed of the events and happen ings in your commun ity. Inland Empire Lumber Company 8 Phone 331 ■ i “ The Yard of Best Quality H. M. STRAW , MGR. Excluiré Representatives of National Builders Burean W ashington.—Reorganization of a movement among Pan-American na tions to provide a suitable memorial and final resting place for Christopher Columbus, the mail who gave “the New World to the Old," has Iween reported to the Wur departm ent by William E. Pllllaui, receiver-general of Dominican customs. Mr. Pllllam 's report says the project was relaunched recently and Is commended to the sym pathetic consideration of Pan-Americans every where. Open Coffin for Visitor», The remains of Columbus were brought to Bunto Domingo from Sjialn hi 1540, the report says, adding that It has been the practice lately to open the casket and permit high dignitaries or distinguished visitors to the Island The Herald carries one of the best Want Ad columns of any weekly paper in the state. W E ARE NOW IN OUR NEW LOCATION (form erly occupied by H erm iston Light £ I ov <5 Co.) A nd prepared to give th e best of service in our line. ‘Gift. T i.t La»t” WM. H. OGDEN E c h o F lo u r M ills Echo, Oregon : -If you want to buy --If you want to sell --If you want to trade You find the opportun ity in The Herald ad vertisements. Jeweler and Watch Maker •M A N U F A C T U R E R S O F High Grade Patent Blue Stem Flour The Superior Product of Scientific Milling Makes Better Bread Try a Sack DEALERS IN GRAIN AND FEED Home Office, 117 N. D earborn St C hi cago. We have juat received a new ateck of Utah coal. You will find this good coal free from slack. Start the new year right by using Tum-A-Lum coal. R. A. B row nton, Manager. Dr. Mellenthin SPECJAUST in Internal Medicine for -he past eleven years DOES NOT OPERATE Will he at D0RI0N HOTEL Saturday, February 10th Office Hours: 10 a. m. to 4 p. m. The Herald is the medium by which the merchants tell the citizens of the com- munity of their busi ness. 7 he Hermiston H erald—$ 2 .0 0 SUBSCRIBE NO W WEST END FARMERS Have learned that The Herald prints the best butter wrappers. We have the large size, 9 by 12 inches. Our prices are— ONE DAY ONLY No Charge for Consultation Dr. M ellenthln Is a reg u lar g rad u a te In m edicine and su rg ery and is licensed by th e s ta te of Oregon. He vlaita professionally (he more Im p o rta n t tow ns and cities, and offers to all who call on th is trip free con- ru lta tlo n , except th e expense of tie a tm e n t when desired. A ccording to his m ethod of tre a t m ent he does not o p erate for chronic appendicitis, gall atones, ulcere of th e stom ach, tonsils o r adnolds. He has to his cred it w onderful re su lts In diseases of th e stom ach, liv er, bowels, blood, skin, nerves, h eart, kidney, bladder, b ed w ettlag . c a ta rrh , weak lungs, rh eu m atism , sciatica, leg ulcers and recta! ailm ents. If you have been a ilin g for any length of tim e and do not get any b etter, do not fall to call, as im proper m easures ra th e r th an disease a re very often th e cause of your long standing trouble. Remember above date, th at consul tatio n on th is trip w ill be free and th a t hla treatm en t is d ifferen t. M arried women m ust be accom panied by th e ir husbands. it ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ bbbbk Nanana»»«» P. S.—Every statement in this notice hag been verified before the Federal and State Courts.—F. H. Seeley....... COMING TO PENDLETON ! ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ 8 ■ ■ s ! 8 Let us show them to you 8 Coffin at Santo Domlgo la Now Opened So Vialtera May Handla Relic»— Plan Beacon Light for Navigators. 2 ■ Watch the display advertisements for the alter- Christmas bargain offers T h e H e r a ld is $2 per year, or$l for six months, payable in advance. 100 for $1.25 200 for $2.00' 300 for $2.60 500 for $3.75 Many are buying them in the larger quan tities, but we are here to’serve you all. If you want only a few we have them with out the name. These we sell as follows -12 30 62 100 for 10 cento for 25 cento for 50 cento for 80 cento “The Home of Good THE H E IIB S T O N HERALD
