Image provided by: Morrow County Museum; Heppner, OR
About Heppner gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1925-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 25, 1973)
HEPPNER MIRE. I GAZETTE-TIMES. ThurMUv. IMober IJ. I9T3 Horse sense i 'T-Ok J . Mill Bv ernest v. joiner Once upon a time there was a land west of Eden called Oregon And it was well grained, timbered, and honeyed, fair to look upon and inhabited by proud people who called themselves Oregonians And ruling over the Oregomans from the marbled halls at the Capitol City of Salem was the Chief of all the Oregonians. the Governor of his people, yclept Thomas McCall And he was wise and virtuous and just ; fair lo look upon and well beloved by his subjects For he boasted less that -13 per cent caviiies and he knew not of Irregularity even so he suffered from crazy of a lousy prostate. And the people rejoiced, the Governor rejoiced, and all were rejoiced together in the Land of Oregon. Such that they went to and fro in the land to erect billboards of warning to wanderers inside their borders: "Do Thou Visit. But Do Not Stay " And it came to pass that many wanderers who desired to stay were taken and bound and carried to the nethermost part of the Land and dumped into the wild and fearsome Unknown, called California, and were never heard of again It came to pass that a strange breed calling themselves Environmentalists infiltrated the land and came upon the Governor and gained his ear and prayed that he order his subjects to conserveth electricity and all manner of energy. And the Governor was troubled and anguished And after consultation with the Priests of the Oracle he signed an edict ordering Oregonians to turn off their lights, shut down iheir toasters, and close their schools to save electricity. "0 Subjects." theGovernor cried, "in order to have electricity and energy it is necessary that we giveth it up, and pronto." And a great shout went up from the people. "Let us close our schools! Turn off the lights! Cast out the evil energy consuming luxury ranges and televisions, and plunge us into Darkness that we may come torth into Light:" And there was weeping and wailing amongst the Pharisees of Production and rejoicing among Environmentalists and confusion amongst the rabble. Throughout the Land of Oregon people supported the program mightily and with vigor, saying one to the other. If it be virtuous and conserving to close schools and delivered our appliances to the Salvation Army, why cannot we conserveth our food by partaking of it not. and keepeth our water by drinking it not?"And the people tumulted and were greatly exalted in their wisdom, and for the first time realized that by closing the schools they could make a profit bv remaining ignorant. With shouts of joy they slammed the schools, repaired to caves in the hills and mountains, and rediscovered the open fire, cold water bath on Saturday night, mosquitos and the strength of long hair. In Heppner, a center of culture noted for its forest of parking meters, but withal no fossil-fueled automobiles to snub to them, one reactionary was stoned to death when his neighbor discovered" him -reading the family Bible by light of a forbidden flashlight held underneath his coverlets of a basement bed. The people waxed angry at dissenters. And so it came to pass that in communities throughout Oregon town criers walked through darkened streets, crying out information of interest, there no longer being newspapers, magazines, telephones, radios, TVs or bridge clubs. The Great Chief in Salem instituted a.courier system, known as the Pony Express, which gained him much favor since the Great Birds of the Sky had been grounded and the Iron Horse pastured. The Gazette-Times, sore vexed at the Environmentalists for outting it of paper upon which to lavish words of wisdom, chiseled stone tablets of rare beauty whereon was revealed the nefarious scheme of Mayor Jerry Sweeney and his council to install a battery-operated flood alarm system on the upper reaches of Willow Creek; and Lo! the people stoned him, and smote him about the head and ears, and bruised him greatly. And they set up signal fires upon the hilltops about the town to summon the people to high ground when there was rumor of flood. And much energy was conserved, and the people rejoiced. Thus it came to pass that the Land dwelt in Darkness these many years, and man achieved his natural state and the birds of the air and the beasts of the field propagated like mad, and it was sore distressing to the people, who invented bows and arrows and snaring devices to protect themselves in their caves from wild beasts who had acquired an unseem ing habit of eating the slower-footed children whom they had begatten during the Long Night. Then there was jubilation in Salem where it was found that it was no longer necessary to conserve electricity, because no electricity, nor any other manner of energy, existed. Chief McCall in Salem ordered a thousand riders to gallop the glad tidings to the fartherest encampment of Ore gonians. in their caves and tree perches, all happily subsisting upon delicious roots, herbs, berries and an occasional rabbit snared whilst Lois Winchester had turneth the other way. 'Turn on the lights again ! ' the riders cried as they sped swiftly through every Middlesex village and town. Alas, there were no lights to turn, on or out. "To helleth with Thee," the people cried, as they went about improving wicks and globes for their lanterns and making home-made lye soap for the annual Bathing and Fertility Rites to be held in the spring. For they had forgotten what a waffle tasted like, having forgotten the iniquities of -their forebears. For they had become as addicts to herbs, roots forage and berries. And there was again rejoicing, because they had found that all their energy problems had been solved, along with all their social problems, and they were content to dwell in the caves and trees forever. For it had come to pass that the kids no longer smoked pot. because there was none of it. Since there was nothing worth stealing, there was no crime. The family had been reunited in a sociological breakthrough, it being most difficult to fight when six people are huddled together in one pile of leaves for the sake of warmth. The age-old dream of economic equality had been achieved, now that everj Oregonian was equally poor. Peace reigned in the Land, the military complex having been dismantled and the sinews of war beaten into fish hooks and cooking pots. There was no need for soldiers because the country no longer had anything its neighbors coveted. There was nothing to tax, and politicians were grubbing for roots like ordinary rather than privileged beasts. The air was pure. Water was abundant, for nobody had use of it. There was a great silence in the land, for no wheel turned and no hammer fell. The people had overcome, and they rejoiced. And the Environmentalists wept, for they had no more worlds to conquer. So it came to pass that the Chief of all the Oregonians summoned finest artisans and set them to building a huge memorial in the center of the Land; and the finest scribes were set to work chiseling upon a tablet of stone to be attached thereto, proclaiming for the ages: "Oregonians! All this might have been tost to us and our children had our forefathers mistakenly come upon the idea of building just one cotton-picking additional power plant!" And so they lived, after a fashion, ever after. Life sentence Pen land Lake. . . The mail pouch 'Continued from page 1 the trail of a scandal involving Morrow County officials, in cluding Judge Jones. District Attorney Herman Winter, the county surveyor and others While the commentator made no specific charges of wrong-doing in the broadcast, the implication was that it did exist. At one point the newsman stated that while 11 homes had been built at Lake Penland. only one building permit had been procured. The corpora tion agrees, but points out that when the first 10 homes were built there were no subdivision laws in Morrow County that called for permits in rural areas. The broadcast made an issue of a possible failure of sanitary facilities to pass state health code inspection. Pen land Lake Corporation Presi dent L.E. Dick said there has been no inspection of sanitary facilities and cannot be until a final map has been filed That filing, he said, will be accom plished as soon as the survey or completes his work, which should be "any day now ." One of the alleged "irregu larities" cited by the com mentator was that a plat of the Penland project had never been filed. True, agrees the corporation. A tentative map was filed with and approved bv the Morrow County Plan ning Commission, and the final map is due to be completed and filed within the next few days. The broadcast ended with the advice that an "investi gation" into Penland Lake Corporation had been begun. According to L.E. Dick, the crux of the newscast's sur prising "expose" is that the advertising and sale of lots in the Penland complex would be a violation of the law. "We have neither adver tised for sale, or sold, any lots," Dick said. Dick pointed out that the Penland project was accom plished with the aid of at least three government agencies, the U. S. Forest Service, upon whose land the dam is situated; the Soil Conserva tion Service, which provided engineering for the dam: and the Oregon Fish & Game Commission, to which land was sold by Penland to raise money to complete the dam. "Working under rigid regu lations imposed by these agencies of the federal gov- emment doesn't leave much room for hanky panky," Dick observed. COW POKES Dick added the U.S. Park Service also was interested in Penland. Dick also confirmed that at the time the first 10 cabins were built at the lake there was no requirement in Mor row County that building permits be taken out. It was only after 10 had been built that the planning commission recommended to the county court that permits henceforth be required for construction work anywhere in the county. Harry O'Donnell, one of the original 25 men who put up $3.ixhi in cash to launch Penland Lake, pointed out that the individuals who -own" land there have no deeds to the land. The corporation, he says, pays taxes on the land and owners pay taxes on the improve ments. He said no lots were to be sold until money was needed for improvements such a water, sewer or road facilities. Joyce Bergstrom, county assessor, one of the persons interviewed by KGW-TV re porters, told the Gazette Times yesterday that her remarks on television were only slightly edited. "They asked me whether I thought there was any hanky panky going on in the Penland Lake Corporation as far as county officials were concerned, and I told them I had nothing lo say on that question." That part. Mrs. Bergstrom said, did not appear in the finished broadcast. Dick, on the other hand, said that all that portion of his remarks explaining the in volvement of federal agencies in the construction of the dam and lake, and his remarks explaining that no building permits were required at the time construction began at the lake, were deleted from the broadcast. County Judge Jones, about whose head most of the fire is concentrated, was not inter viewed for the KGW-TV re port. Penland Lake covers 66 acresof land. It was built with private funds by local busi nessmen at a total cost of $90,000 in cash and about $25,000 in donated labor and equipment. No public funds are involved, and it was built by a private contracting firm. The lake-is opeirro the pubiic " for fishing, boating and rec reation, and has facilities for such activities. By Ace Reid 1 . -. LT5 Of HitDUTt VAN PoofcMfcU- (WtW EDITOR: I would like to congratulate you on a very comprehensive and interesting article on the Chamber of Commerce meeting which we were very happy to participate in. GT. Oct. 4i I would like to point out one error involving my statements to the Chamber. Your article indicated that apartment space in the Heppner Hotel could be provided for as low as $25 per month for (he elderly. As I recall, my actual statement was that a possible $25 reduction in rents may occur. This means that a lower than market interest rate financing arrangement mav reduce rents $25 below the level which would normally be paid with market rate financing conditions While it would be ideal to provide rents as low as $25 a month, a program to do so is currently unavailable; and. unless the federal government devises a form of subsidy - to accomplish this end. we must do the best we can with the other alternatives. We understand the strong need and desire for housing in Heppner and will make aware to the city government any programs which present themselves to lowering the cost of housing BARRY CARTER. Housing Division, Department of Commerce, Salem. EDITOR: If I mav be accorded the privilege. I would like to use your columns to reach descendants of the pioneer families of Lexington. I have contacted some, where mailing addresses were available to me. for information that coulfl be useful in a history of Lexington. Histories of Morrow County appear from time lo time, but Lexington history is seldom featured in its full light. 1 am on the staff at Mt. Hood Community College where I teach history and political science, and though the college has granted me a reduced teaching load while undertaking this project, mv time for personal contacts is limited. I am attempting a full and complete history of Lexington, one that no one has vet written. I want to place a special emphasis on the first families who settled there m the bunchgrass davs, as well as the second and third generations of those families whose roots are in Lexington. For many people there will alwavs be a Lexington, and it would be a tragic loss to hisiorv if the present generation were to allow the memories of their parents and grandparents to become dim or lost forever. I grew up in Lexington, went to school Ihere, and farmed for a number of vears before entering my present profession, so 1 do have a working familiarity with the people whose lives I am presently Irving to reconstruct. For this reason I would appreciate familv histories, copies of obituaries, newspaper clippings, or anything of a related matter that would enable me to write an interesting and informative history of Lexington I would need to know when these people came to the bunchgrass land, how they got there, from whence they came, and if they were homesteaders, or followed some other line of work. The same would be true for those old families who came to Lexington after the turn of the century. It would be a valuable boost to history if Lexington s famous sons and daughters could be highlighted. Everyone should tell a little about what he can recall, and not assume that I know the complete story. No one does. This material may be sent to my home address at 11186 S E Wood Avenue. Milwaukie, Oregon 97222, or addressed to me at Mt. Hood Community College, Gresham, Oregon 97030. Should anyone in the Portland area need to contact me by telephone the number is 654-3010. SAM G. MCMILLAN, "" Milwaiikie." Yeah, theres lots of wild life on this ranch, ght but most of it's right behind that sign! awn EDITOR: I have been reading your column for several months and I enjoy it. I can't imagine anyone coming down hard on an editor for using some words that fit so many people so perfectly. . As for the people of Hardman, I too was born in Hardman and I live there now. We all enjoy reading about Mayor Roy. After all, who can be ashamed of his heritage? As for the "refined reader," I wonder what other person (singular) in town considers herself a refined reader also? I agree that most of us can't read music, but we understand it. We understand the delicate touch of Chopin or the thunderous boom of Rachmaninoff. We also appreciate our ancestors fiddle music, and the old barroom piano. So let's not be to concerned about the feelings of Hardman people. - If certain people would like a better opinion of their editor, why can't they look around their town as a whole ... I believe a town in the condition Heppner is in needs a good, hard-hitting editor. PERRY ADAMS, Hardman. EDITOR: I don't know why it is sogodamned necessary to swear to get your point across. GLENN HAGE, Reedley.Ca. Mayor of Hardman ER MISTER EDITOR: Did vou nee where a group of factory worker in Seattle wants' the compunv lo put food stamps in the plant lunchroom? Them folks, that makes ave rage 1580 a month, say Ihey are eligible fer stamp, but Ihey can't git off work lo oil em 'without losing half a day's pay. Now that s a fix lo be in. If everybody lhat holds down a Job can gil food fer free, what are the pore bums coming to? II looks like II has got lo the place in this country where Ihey ain'l no advantage lo loafing. If folks lhal work and pay taxes can gil the same benefits as them lhal don 'I hil a lick II knocks the starch out of them lhal figger they can alius go Ihru the door on somebody else's push. The subject of working fer a living come up at the country store Saturday nighl. Mister Editor, and after studying it up one side and down the other, the fellers was general agreed thai this country is working harder and harder lo come up with more and more of less and less. Clem Webster said he remembered a song that went "I gol plenty of nolhing." and he said it looks like we're coming lo the place we gol plenty of money but nothing lo buy. Josh Clodhopper, that don 'I usual have much lo say at these sessions, was disagreed with Clem. Josh was of a mind that money is what 's gol us in a bind cause it's going out of style Josh" said he saw by Ihe papers where banks was giving steaks lo folks lhal open accounts, and who wouldn'l part with cheap money fer meal these days? And Josh said eating places are reporting a run on doggie bags. Folks don't mind tipping the waiter a dollar if he'll bring Ihem a bag lo take their leftovers home in. was Josh's words. General speaking, said Clem Webster, the ways lo measure a man's success in this country is fasl gilting away from the number of cars, boats and color televisions he's got. and it's coming around lo Ihe things lhal money can't buy. like food. Clem said he wouldn't be suprised any day to read where some feller died and left six Tbones to his wife, seven porkchops to each of his three younguns and remainder of his . estate to be divided amongst Ihe various levels of guvernment he supported Ihru the years. Actual. Mister Editor, Clem hil on somepun. I saw a item in Ihe paper where people in this country spent $332 billion in 1971 lo buy food, clothes, housing and cars. The same year. American's spent $340 billion lo keep up their local, state and federal guvernments. And I reckon they ain'l nothing more ' inflated in this country than guvernment services. Zeke Grubb put the stopper in the food and service jug. He said his church has a homecoming picnic Sunday, and that's one fine service that's short on sermon and long on groceries. Yours truly, MAYOR ROY. End of Episcopal ripoff? BY LESTER KINSOLVING ' The courage of the newly elected spiritual leader of the nation's 3.2 million Episcopalians has already been demonstrated. For while the Ku Klux Klan was still shooting and lynching people in Ihe course of burning black churches, Mississippi's Bishop John Allin took a lead: in the campaign to rebuild those churches. This was dangerous conduct. For he was in the crucible of being a resident pastor, rather than a visiting demonstrator. ( It remains to be seen whether as the Episcopal Church s new presiding bishop, Allin will stand up to black segregationists as well - such as two of the top staffers in his own Episcopal church's National Headquarters in Man hattan. Leon Modeste ("Modest Leon") and Viola ("violent") Plummer have between them managed to fund an impressive number of hate groups from black bombing-totters in Maryland to Reis Tijerina's Alianza pistoleros in New Mexico to the bandits who destroyed a Catholic Church (and most everything else) at Wounded Knee. Modeste, Plummar & Company have utilized an $8 million fund which was supposed to help the validly needy among minority groups. Yet almost every effort to check this financing of "hate whitey" evokes the automatic "If-you-object-you're-a-white-racist" rhetoric of Boston's Bishop John Burgess and Syracuse University's Dr. Charles Willie, a clever abrasion-specialist. These two members of the denomina tion's Executive Council seem to overwhelm their fellow members at will. But, Bishop Allin has already demonstrated his ability to stand up to some rather awesome ecclesiastical machinery such as was designed by his predecessor, retiring Presiding Bishop John E. Hines. Few of Allin's colleagues will ever forget the 15-minute tongue-lashing given to Hines in 1968 by Allin on the subject of agenda-manipulation. Bishop Allin is also equipped with a sense of humor. This, he will indeed need in leading this interesting denomination of wild and strongly varied opinions held by people, who are mostly attractive, intelligent and sophisticated, until assembled in their triennial General Convention. Here they prove capable, upon occasion, of absolutely cataclysmic assininity due fiuratiyJoinjnailtiL. for secrecy: For example, imagine the majority of a crowd of nearly 1,000 people voting to hold a secret session in an arena the size of Madison Square Garden. (Pleaded Virginia's revered theologian A. T. Mollegen: "How naive! Kinsolving will have everything we say in his column by tomorrow morning.") Well, that was exactly what the General Convention's House of Deputies did in Louisville, Ky., when it ordered visitors and the press out of the galleries. When these banished folk good naturedly sang "We Shall Overcome," they were threatened with mass arrest. When shushed as ordered, all details of the "secret" deliberations came booming over the loudspeakers. Then there were the would-be female priests, who announced themselves as "outraged" after the Deputies voted down a proposal to allow female ordination to the priesthood. These ladies have only themselves to blame. For in addition to lobbying with all the sweet grace of a school of piranhas, they arrived at the convention all wearing the clergyman's round collar (on top of notably varied vesture. ) Such garb struck even some of the supporters of their cause as odd. It impressed many neutrals as weird. As for the sizeable bloc of Anglo Catholics ("High Churchmen") this venture constituted a bloodcurdling atrocity. One of the leaders of this army of angry amazons is, strangely enough, an assistant to Manhattan pastor John Cobum, whose virile appearance, delicious humor and syllable-caressing oratory make him one of the denomina tion's most irresistable men. ("He's sexier that Mark Spitz!" sighed one female convention visitor.) But this assistant, Ms. Carol Anderson, proved emanently resistable last year when she introduced herself to a bishops meeting as "neither a bishop's wife, nor a bishop's daughter, nor a bishop's mistress."
