HEPPNER MIRE. I GAZETTE-TIMES. ThurMUv. IMober IJ. I9T3
Horse sense i
'T-Ok J . Mill
Bv
ernest v. joiner
Once upon a time there was a land west of Eden called
Oregon And it was well grained, timbered, and honeyed,
fair to look upon and inhabited by proud people who called
themselves Oregonians And ruling over the Oregomans
from the marbled halls at the Capitol City of Salem was the
Chief of all the Oregonians. the Governor of his people, yclept
Thomas McCall And he was wise and virtuous and just ; fair
lo look upon and well beloved by his subjects For he boasted
less that -13 per cent caviiies and he knew not of Irregularity
even so he suffered from crazy of a lousy prostate.
And the people rejoiced, the Governor rejoiced, and all
were rejoiced together in the Land of Oregon. Such that they
went to and fro in the land to erect billboards of warning to
wanderers inside their borders: "Do Thou Visit. But Do Not
Stay " And it came to pass that many wanderers who
desired to stay were taken and bound and carried to the
nethermost part of the Land and dumped into the wild and
fearsome Unknown, called California, and were never heard
of again
It came to pass that a strange breed calling themselves
Environmentalists infiltrated the land and came upon the
Governor and gained his ear and prayed that he order his
subjects to conserveth electricity and all manner of energy.
And the Governor was troubled and anguished And after
consultation with the Priests of the Oracle he signed an edict
ordering Oregonians to turn off their lights, shut down iheir
toasters, and close their schools to save electricity. "0
Subjects." theGovernor cried, "in order to have electricity
and energy it is necessary that we giveth it up, and pronto."
And a great shout went up from the people. "Let us close
our schools! Turn off the lights! Cast out the evil energy
consuming luxury ranges and televisions, and plunge us into
Darkness that we may come torth into Light:" And there
was weeping and wailing amongst the Pharisees of
Production and rejoicing among Environmentalists and
confusion amongst the rabble.
Throughout the Land of Oregon people supported the
program mightily and with vigor, saying one to the other.
If it be virtuous and conserving to close schools and
delivered our appliances to the Salvation Army, why cannot
we conserveth our food by partaking of it not. and keepeth
our water by drinking it not?"And the people tumulted and
were greatly exalted in their wisdom, and for the first time
realized that by closing the schools they could make a profit
bv remaining ignorant. With shouts of joy they slammed the
schools, repaired to caves in the hills and mountains, and
rediscovered the open fire, cold water bath on Saturday
night, mosquitos and the strength of long hair. In Heppner, a
center of culture noted for its forest of parking meters, but
withal no fossil-fueled automobiles to snub to them, one
reactionary was stoned to death when his neighbor
discovered" him -reading the family Bible by light of a
forbidden flashlight held underneath his coverlets of a
basement bed. The people waxed angry at dissenters.
And so it came to pass that in communities throughout
Oregon town criers walked through darkened streets, crying
out information of interest, there no longer being
newspapers, magazines, telephones, radios, TVs or bridge
clubs. The Great Chief in Salem instituted a.courier system,
known as the Pony Express, which gained him much favor
since the Great Birds of the Sky had been grounded and the
Iron Horse pastured. The Gazette-Times, sore vexed at the
Environmentalists for outting it of paper upon which to
lavish words of wisdom, chiseled stone tablets of rare beauty
whereon was revealed the nefarious scheme of Mayor Jerry
Sweeney and his council to install a battery-operated flood
alarm system on the upper reaches of Willow Creek; and Lo!
the people stoned him, and smote him about the head and
ears, and bruised him greatly. And they set up signal fires
upon the hilltops about the town to summon the people to high
ground when there was rumor of flood. And much energy
was conserved, and the people rejoiced.
Thus it came to pass that the Land dwelt in Darkness
these many years, and man achieved his natural state and
the birds of the air and the beasts of the field propagated like
mad, and it was sore distressing to the people, who invented
bows and arrows and snaring devices to protect themselves
in their caves from wild beasts who had acquired an unseem
ing habit of eating the slower-footed children whom they had
begatten during the Long Night.
Then there was jubilation in Salem where it was found
that it was no longer necessary to conserve electricity,
because no electricity, nor any other manner of energy,
existed. Chief McCall in Salem ordered a thousand riders to
gallop the glad tidings to the fartherest encampment of Ore
gonians. in their caves and tree perches, all happily
subsisting upon delicious roots, herbs, berries and an
occasional rabbit snared whilst Lois Winchester had turneth
the other way. 'Turn on the lights again ! ' the riders cried as
they sped swiftly through every Middlesex village and town.
Alas, there were no lights to turn, on or out. "To
helleth with Thee," the people cried, as they went about
improving wicks and globes for their lanterns and making
home-made lye soap for the annual Bathing and Fertility
Rites to be held in the spring. For they had forgotten what a
waffle tasted like, having forgotten the iniquities of -their
forebears. For they had become as addicts to herbs, roots
forage and berries. And there was again rejoicing, because
they had found that all their energy problems had been
solved, along with all their social problems, and they were
content to dwell in the caves and trees forever.
For it had come to pass that the kids no longer smoked
pot. because there was none of it. Since there was nothing
worth stealing, there was no crime. The family had been
reunited in a sociological breakthrough, it being most
difficult to fight when six people are huddled together in one
pile of leaves for the sake of warmth. The age-old dream of
economic equality had been achieved, now that everj
Oregonian was equally poor. Peace reigned in the Land, the
military complex having been dismantled and the sinews of
war beaten into fish hooks and cooking pots. There was no
need for soldiers because the country no longer had anything
its neighbors coveted. There was nothing to tax, and
politicians were grubbing for roots like ordinary rather than
privileged beasts. The air was pure. Water was abundant,
for nobody had use of it. There was a great silence in the
land, for no wheel turned and no hammer fell. The people
had overcome, and they rejoiced.
And the Environmentalists wept, for they had no more
worlds to conquer.
So it came to pass that the Chief of all the Oregonians
summoned finest artisans and set them to building a
huge memorial in the center of the Land; and the finest
scribes were set to work chiseling upon a tablet of stone to be
attached thereto, proclaiming for the ages: "Oregonians!
All this might have been tost to us and our children had our
forefathers mistakenly come upon the idea of building just
one cotton-picking additional power plant!"
And so they lived, after a fashion, ever after.
Life sentence
Pen land Lake. . . The mail pouch
'Continued from page 1
the trail of a scandal involving
Morrow County officials, in
cluding Judge Jones. District
Attorney Herman Winter, the
county surveyor and others
While the commentator
made no specific charges of
wrong-doing in the broadcast,
the implication was that it did
exist.
At one point the newsman
stated that while 11 homes had
been built at Lake Penland.
only one building permit had
been procured. The corpora
tion agrees, but points out that
when the first 10 homes were
built there were no subdivision
laws in Morrow County that
called for permits in rural
areas.
The broadcast made an
issue of a possible failure of
sanitary facilities to pass state
health code inspection. Pen
land Lake Corporation Presi
dent L.E. Dick said there has
been no inspection of sanitary
facilities and cannot be until a
final map has been filed That
filing, he said, will be accom
plished as soon as the survey
or completes his work, which
should be "any day now ."
One of the alleged "irregu
larities" cited by the com
mentator was that a plat of the
Penland project had never
been filed. True, agrees the
corporation. A tentative map
was filed with and approved
bv the Morrow County Plan
ning Commission, and the
final map is due to be
completed and filed within the
next few days.
The broadcast ended with
the advice that an "investi
gation" into Penland Lake
Corporation had been begun.
According to L.E. Dick, the
crux of the newscast's sur
prising "expose" is that the
advertising and sale of lots in
the Penland complex would be
a violation of the law.
"We have neither adver
tised for sale, or sold, any
lots," Dick said.
Dick pointed out that the
Penland project was accom
plished with the aid of at least
three government agencies,
the U. S. Forest Service,
upon whose land the dam is
situated; the Soil Conserva
tion Service, which provided
engineering for the dam: and
the Oregon Fish & Game
Commission, to which land
was sold by Penland to raise
money to complete the dam.
"Working under rigid regu
lations imposed by these
agencies of the federal gov-
emment doesn't leave much
room for hanky panky," Dick
observed.
COW POKES
Dick added the U.S. Park
Service also was interested in
Penland.
Dick also confirmed that at
the time the first 10 cabins
were built at the lake there
was no requirement in Mor
row County that building
permits be taken out. It was
only after 10 had been built
that the planning commission
recommended to the county
court that permits henceforth
be required for construction
work anywhere in the county.
Harry O'Donnell, one of the
original 25 men who put up
$3.ixhi in cash to launch
Penland Lake, pointed out
that the individuals who
-own" land there have no
deeds to the land. The
corporation, he says, pays
taxes on the land and owners
pay taxes on the improve
ments. He said no lots were to
be sold until money was
needed for improvements
such a water, sewer or road
facilities.
Joyce Bergstrom, county
assessor, one of the persons
interviewed by KGW-TV re
porters, told the Gazette
Times yesterday that her
remarks on television were
only slightly edited. "They
asked me whether I thought
there was any hanky panky
going on in the Penland Lake
Corporation as far as county
officials were concerned, and
I told them I had nothing lo
say on that question." That
part. Mrs. Bergstrom said, did
not appear in the finished
broadcast.
Dick, on the other hand, said
that all that portion of his
remarks explaining the in
volvement of federal agencies
in the construction of the dam
and lake, and his remarks
explaining that no building
permits were required at the
time construction began at the
lake, were deleted from the
broadcast.
County Judge Jones, about
whose head most of the fire is
concentrated, was not inter
viewed for the KGW-TV re
port. Penland Lake covers 66
acresof land. It was built with
private funds by local busi
nessmen at a total cost of
$90,000 in cash and about
$25,000 in donated labor and
equipment. No public funds
are involved, and it was built
by a private contracting firm.
The lake-is opeirro the pubiic "
for fishing, boating and rec
reation, and has facilities for
such activities.
By Ace Reid
1
. -. LT5 Of HitDUTt
VAN PoofcMfcU-
(WtW
EDITOR:
I would like to congratulate you on a very comprehensive
and interesting article on the Chamber of Commerce
meeting which we were very happy to participate in. GT.
Oct. 4i
I would like to point out one error involving my statements
to the Chamber. Your article indicated that apartment space
in the Heppner Hotel could be provided for as low as $25 per
month for (he elderly. As I recall, my actual statement was
that a possible $25 reduction in rents may occur. This means
that a lower than market interest rate financing
arrangement mav reduce rents $25 below the level which
would normally be paid with market rate financing
conditions While it would be ideal to provide rents as low as
$25 a month, a program to do so is currently unavailable;
and. unless the federal government devises a form of subsidy
- to accomplish this end. we must do the best we can with the
other alternatives.
We understand the strong need and desire for housing in
Heppner and will make aware to the city government any
programs which present themselves to lowering the cost of
housing
BARRY CARTER.
Housing Division,
Department of Commerce,
Salem.
EDITOR:
If I mav be accorded the privilege. I would like to use your
columns to reach descendants of the pioneer families of
Lexington. I have contacted some, where mailing addresses
were available to me. for information that coulfl be useful in
a history of Lexington. Histories of Morrow County appear
from time lo time, but Lexington history is seldom featured
in its full light.
1 am on the staff at Mt. Hood Community College where I
teach history and political science, and though the college
has granted me a reduced teaching load while undertaking
this project, mv time for personal contacts is limited.
I am attempting a full and complete history of Lexington,
one that no one has vet written. I want to place a special
emphasis on the first families who settled there m the
bunchgrass davs, as well as the second and third generations
of those families whose roots are in Lexington. For many
people there will alwavs be a Lexington, and it would be a
tragic loss to hisiorv if the present generation were to allow
the memories of their parents and grandparents to become
dim or lost forever.
I grew up in Lexington, went to school Ihere, and farmed
for a number of vears before entering my present profession,
so 1 do have a working familiarity with the people whose lives
I am presently Irving to reconstruct. For this reason I would
appreciate familv histories, copies of obituaries, newspaper
clippings, or anything of a related matter that would enable
me to write an interesting and informative history of
Lexington I would need to know when these people came to
the bunchgrass land, how they got there, from whence they
came, and if they were homesteaders, or followed some other
line of work. The same would be true for those old families
who came to Lexington after the turn of the century.
It would be a valuable boost to history if Lexington s
famous sons and daughters could be highlighted. Everyone
should tell a little about what he can recall, and not assume
that I know the complete story. No one does.
This material may be sent to my home address at 11186
S E Wood Avenue. Milwaukie, Oregon 97222, or addressed to
me at Mt. Hood Community College, Gresham, Oregon 97030.
Should anyone in the Portland area need to contact me by
telephone the number is 654-3010.
SAM G. MCMILLAN,
"" Milwaiikie."
Yeah, theres lots of wild life on this ranch,
ght but most of it's right behind that sign!
awn
EDITOR:
I have been reading your column for several months and I
enjoy it. I can't imagine anyone coming down hard on an
editor for using some words that fit so many people so
perfectly. .
As for the people of Hardman, I too was born in Hardman
and I live there now. We all enjoy reading about Mayor Roy.
After all, who can be ashamed of his heritage?
As for the "refined reader," I wonder what other person
(singular) in town considers herself a refined reader also? I
agree that most of us can't read music, but we understand it.
We understand the delicate touch of Chopin or the thunderous
boom of Rachmaninoff. We also appreciate our ancestors
fiddle music, and the old barroom piano.
So let's not be to concerned about the feelings of Hardman
people. -
If certain people would like a better opinion of their editor,
why can't they look around their town as a whole ... I believe
a town in the condition Heppner is in needs a good,
hard-hitting editor.
PERRY ADAMS,
Hardman.
EDITOR:
I don't know why it is sogodamned necessary to swear to
get your point across.
GLENN HAGE,
Reedley.Ca.
Mayor of Hardman
ER MISTER EDITOR:
Did vou nee where a group of factory worker in Seattle
wants' the compunv lo put food stamps in the plant
lunchroom? Them folks, that makes ave rage 1580 a month,
say Ihey are eligible fer stamp, but Ihey can't git off work lo
oil em 'without losing half a day's pay.
Now that s a fix lo be in. If everybody lhat holds down a Job
can gil food fer free, what are the pore bums coming to? II
looks like II has got lo the place in this country where Ihey
ain'l no advantage lo loafing. If folks lhal work and pay taxes
can gil the same benefits as them lhal don 'I hil a lick II
knocks the starch out of them lhal figger they can alius go
Ihru the door on somebody else's push.
The subject of working fer a living come up at the country
store Saturday nighl. Mister Editor, and after studying it up
one side and down the other, the fellers was general agreed
thai this country is working harder and harder lo come up
with more and more of less and less. Clem Webster said he
remembered a song that went "I gol plenty of nolhing." and
he said it looks like we're coming lo the place we gol plenty of
money but nothing lo buy.
Josh Clodhopper, that don 'I usual have much lo say at
these sessions, was disagreed with Clem. Josh was of a mind
that money is what 's gol us in a bind cause it's going out of
style Josh" said he saw by Ihe papers where banks was giving
steaks lo folks lhal open accounts, and who wouldn'l part
with cheap money fer meal these days? And Josh said eating
places are reporting a run on doggie bags. Folks don't mind
tipping the waiter a dollar if he'll bring Ihem a bag lo take
their leftovers home in. was Josh's words.
General speaking, said Clem Webster, the ways lo
measure a man's success in this country is fasl gilting away
from the number of cars, boats and color televisions he's got.
and it's coming around lo Ihe things lhal money can't buy.
like food. Clem said he wouldn't be suprised any day to read
where some feller died and left six Tbones to his wife, seven
porkchops to each of his three younguns and remainder of his .
estate to be divided amongst Ihe various levels of
guvernment he supported Ihru the years.
Actual. Mister Editor, Clem hil on somepun. I saw a item in
Ihe paper where people in this country spent $332 billion in
1971 lo buy food, clothes, housing and cars. The same year.
American's spent $340 billion lo keep up their local, state and
federal guvernments. And I reckon they ain'l nothing more
' inflated in this country than guvernment services.
Zeke Grubb put the stopper in the food and service jug. He
said his church has a homecoming picnic Sunday, and that's
one fine service that's short on sermon and long on groceries.
Yours truly,
MAYOR ROY.
End of
Episcopal
ripoff?
BY
LESTER KINSOLVING '
The courage of the newly elected spiritual leader of the
nation's 3.2 million Episcopalians has already been
demonstrated.
For while the Ku Klux Klan was still shooting and lynching
people in Ihe course of burning black churches, Mississippi's
Bishop John Allin took a lead: in the campaign to rebuild those
churches. This was dangerous conduct. For he was in the
crucible of being a resident pastor, rather than a visiting
demonstrator. (
It remains to be seen whether as the Episcopal Church s
new presiding bishop, Allin will stand up to black
segregationists as well - such as two of the top staffers in his
own Episcopal church's National Headquarters in Man
hattan. Leon Modeste ("Modest Leon") and Viola
("violent") Plummer have between them managed to fund
an impressive number of hate groups from black
bombing-totters in Maryland to Reis Tijerina's Alianza
pistoleros in New Mexico to the bandits who destroyed a
Catholic Church (and most everything else) at Wounded
Knee. Modeste, Plummar & Company have utilized an $8
million fund which was supposed to help the validly needy
among minority groups.
Yet almost every effort to check this financing of "hate
whitey" evokes the automatic "If-you-object-you're-a-white-racist"
rhetoric of Boston's Bishop John Burgess and
Syracuse University's Dr. Charles Willie, a clever
abrasion-specialist. These two members of the denomina
tion's Executive Council seem to overwhelm their fellow
members at will.
But, Bishop Allin has already demonstrated his ability to
stand up to some rather awesome ecclesiastical machinery
such as was designed by his predecessor, retiring Presiding
Bishop John E. Hines. Few of Allin's colleagues will ever
forget the 15-minute tongue-lashing given to Hines in 1968 by
Allin on the subject of agenda-manipulation.
Bishop Allin is also equipped with a sense of humor. This,
he will indeed need in leading this interesting denomination
of wild and strongly varied opinions held by people, who are
mostly attractive, intelligent and sophisticated, until
assembled in their triennial General Convention.
Here they prove capable, upon occasion, of absolutely
cataclysmic assininity due fiuratiyJoinjnailtiL.
for secrecy:
For example, imagine the majority of a crowd of nearly
1,000 people voting to hold a secret session in an arena the
size of Madison Square Garden. (Pleaded Virginia's revered
theologian A. T. Mollegen: "How naive! Kinsolving will have
everything we say in his column by tomorrow morning.")
Well, that was exactly what the General Convention's
House of Deputies did in Louisville, Ky., when it ordered
visitors and the press out of the galleries. When these
banished folk good naturedly sang "We Shall Overcome,"
they were threatened with mass arrest. When shushed as
ordered, all details of the "secret" deliberations came
booming over the loudspeakers.
Then there were the would-be female priests, who
announced themselves as "outraged" after the Deputies
voted down a proposal to allow female ordination to the
priesthood.
These ladies have only themselves to blame. For in
addition to lobbying with all the sweet grace of a school of
piranhas, they arrived at the convention all wearing the
clergyman's round collar (on top of notably varied vesture. )
Such garb struck even some of the supporters of their
cause as odd. It impressed many neutrals as weird. As for the
sizeable bloc of Anglo Catholics ("High Churchmen") this
venture constituted a bloodcurdling atrocity.
One of the leaders of this army of angry amazons is,
strangely enough, an assistant to Manhattan pastor John
Cobum, whose virile appearance, delicious humor and
syllable-caressing oratory make him one of the denomina
tion's most irresistable men. ("He's sexier that Mark
Spitz!" sighed one female convention visitor.)
But this assistant, Ms. Carol Anderson, proved emanently
resistable last year when she introduced herself to a bishops
meeting as "neither a bishop's wife, nor a bishop's daughter,
nor a bishop's mistress."