Image provided by: Morrow County Museum; Heppner, OR
About Heppner gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1925-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 17, 1931)
HEPPNER GAZETTE TIMES, HEPPNER, OREGON, THURSDAY, DEC. 17, 1931. PAGE THREE PROPHETS A man who was an officer In France told me this story, which la interesting and may be true. He said that on November 10, 1918, a friend of his went Into our headquarters and stopped beside the desk of an officer who was en gaged In statistical work. The of ficer had been so busy with his charts and figures that he hlad hardly left his office for days. The visitor said to him: "Well, I guess it's about all over." "What do you mean?" asked the statistician. "Why, the armistice will be de clared tomorrow." "Nonsense," the statistician ex claimed. "This war is going on for another five years." Whereupon he drew out his graphs nad his charts and proceeded to prove it Here's another story, told me by a banker. In November, 1930, the ten lead ing economists of the United States held a secret conclave and took a ballot on how long the business de pression would last. One of them said it would be over in six months. Four said It would last from one to three yeara The other five said it would last from three to five years. "If they are right, the outlook Is pretty gloomy isn't it?" I said it certainly was. "There is just one Joker In the story as I told it," he added. "That the meeting was not held in No vember, 1930. It was held in No vember, 1920. And that depression came to a close, as we now know, In August, 1921." Looking back ovor history, we can see that prophecy has always been a dangerous business. But as between the optimistic prophets and the pessimistic the balance is in favor of the optimists. Old Mother Shipton, in the early 1500's, prophesied that "iron upon the Bea would float as easily as a wooden boat" She foretold the air-plane, the submarine, and the telephone. She was suspected then of being crazy, but she does not look so crazy now. John Law, of Mississippi Bubble fame, sold shares in his vast con cessions on this continent Specu lation ran them up to wild prices, and the ensuing panic ruined thou sands. But those concessions rep resented the richest part of the United States. Even at their high est prices they would be cheap to day. I do not intend to join the ill fated company of prophets. I mere ly record my general agreement with 'the late P. T. Barnum, who said: "If the truth were known I think it would be found that in this wide awake country more people are fooled by believing too little than ever were fooled by believing too much." GESTURES A great many, perhapB most of the things that are done by indi viduals and groups, in and out of politics, don't mean anything. They are merely gestures, uusally for self-advertisement They often puz zle people who think there must be a deep motive behind every human action, whereas most of our actions are motiveless. "Jimmy" Walker goes to Cali fornia to plead for the pardon of Tom Mooney, convicted bomb thrower. Why? A dozen explana tions are offered, but so far as the importance of the action is con cerned it can be dismissed as a mere gesture on the part of the mayor of New York. Fifteen hundred well-fed "hunger marchers" converge on Washing ton, mainly by automobile. A ser ious Communist uprising? Nothing of the kind; merely a gesture to attract attention to a tourist group that loves the limelight Folks In tending to do serious things don't advertise their intention in ad vance. In judging human actions a safe general rule Is that most people who do things that get their names into the newspapers, do them for no other purpose than that to get their names into the newspapers. COLONELS Just before his term of office ended, on December 7, Governor Flem D. Sampson of Kentucky commissioned me a Colonel in his staff. That was another gesture, signifying nothing but the climax of a jesting remark on my part that the best seats In the grand stand at the Louisville race track seemed to be reserved for the Gov ernor's staff. I don't know how many state colonels there are with these Kentucky titles, but at least I'm in good company and plenty of It In France, when the Government wants to make a friendly gesture toward one of Its citizens or a visi tor, it bestows the ribbon of the Legion of Honor upon him. Italy gives the title of "Commendatore." Kentucky makes him a Colonel. All of those are merely graceful gestures. POET Nicholas Vachel Lindsay, tramp ing the countryside and reciting his poems for his meals and lodging, was the nearest approach in our time to the wandering minstrels of the Middle Ages, the Bards and Minnesingers who recited their he roic epics in the halls of the great or sang their ballads from house to house. In that wise blind Hom er, "father of epic poetry," recited his Iliad and Odyssey in ancient Greece. Vachel Lindsay is dead. The world has lost a real poet America a great Interpreter of the national spirit His splendid voice, with its dramatic quality that made the hearer seem to see the scenes he described, has been preserved for posterity in phonograph records made at Columbia University. Lindsay's greatest poem, in my opinion, is "General William Booth Enters Into Heaven." Reading it, one hears the boom of the bass drums in the Celestial brass band! I hope that when Vachel Lindsay's spirit entered into that Heaven in which he so profoundly believed, the angelic brasses blared for him, too. FARMERS To hear politicians and uninform ed city folk talk, anybody would get the Idea that all of the farmers In the United States were on the verge of starvation. Anybody who knows the facts about farming in any part of the country knows that mm From Headaches Colds and Sore Throat Neuritis, Neuralgia Don't be a chronic uffefer fawn headaches, or any other pail. These is hardly an ache or pain Bayer Aspirin tablets can't eKevv, they are a great comfort to women who suffer periodically. They are always to be relied on lor DreaKing up emus. It may be only a simple headache, or it may be neuralgia or neuritisi rheiimntiam. Baver Asoirin is still the sensible thing to take. Just be certain it's Bayer you're taking) it does not hurt the heart. Get the genuine tablets, in this familiar package lor the pocket BEWARE OF IMITATIONS They used to joke about "Chicken Feed" But now it has come to be a substantial source of Income on the well managed farm, this poultry money. And properly so. Any man with two hundred hens can earn a supporting income and keep out of debt We know because some of them . are our customers. You can too Need any help? Farmers and Stockgrowers National Bank There Is No Substitute for Safety is nonsense. It is the "one-crop," speculative farmers who are con stantly clamoring to Congress for "relief." I heard C. F. Collisson, farm edi tor of the Minneapolis Tribune, tell a group of New York business men the other day how the efforts of his newspaper, in ten years, have cut down the wheat acreage in four states and made the products of the cow, the sow and the hen worth several times as much as the wheat crop was ever worth in its best days. He suggested that butter and eggs ought to be quoted on the pro duce Exchange instead of wheat They would be a better index of the farmer's buying power. TEETH Eskimos have the best teeth of any race of people, but when Es kimo children are given candy their teeth begin to decay, Profes sro Waugh of Columbia University told a meeting of dentists in New York the other day. Other dent ists agreed that too much reliance should not be placed on the tooth brush alone as a preventive of tooth decay. We are just beginning to learn that Nature makes no allowances for civilization. Our bodies are just as primitive, and require just as much exercise and just the same food elements as those of the prim itive folk who had nothing to eat except what each for himself could catch ro kill, dig out of the ground or pick off a bush or a tree. R. L. Benge was taken to Hepp ner hospital the end of the week for treatment He was reported to be responding well. Gilliam & Bisbee's VARNISH DEAL Saves You Money With every quart of QUICK-STEP VAR NISH at the regular price of $1.25 per qt. you get a 3-inch bris tle Varnish Brush that sells at 60 cents. This Quick-Step sale continues for 30 days only and will close on the evening of Decem ber 17th. QUICK-STEP is the ideal varnish for floors as well as for all kinds of wood work. In addition to the above we will be glad to furnish you any thing in the Paint and Varnish line. ! GILLIAM & BISBEE Reason for Failure of Car Drivers Reported Reasons for the failure of some persons to pass the new operators' examination and to receive a li cense to drive an automobile in Oregon are covered in a tabulation prepared this week by Hal E. Hoes, secretary of state. "While 3,699 applicants have suc cessfully passed the three parts of the operators' examination and have been licensed since July, a number of persons have either failed or neglected to complete the steps necessary in the tests," states Mr. Hoss. "Of these latter, some failed the first time on the exam ination relating to rules of the road. These persons with a little more study of the law would be able undoubtedly to pass the exam ination, but they have never re turned to take a second examina tion. We make every effort to help them- and supply applicants with questions and answers prior to their examinations. "Applicants are privileged to try again and again if necessary un til they successfully pass the tests, and our examiners have been in structed to aid in every way possi ble the applicant who has difficulty with any part of the examination." Included in the group who have not completed the steps required are 5 persons who failed on the first driving test These applicants are perhaps taking further instruction and may return t or examination at a later date. Only a few have failed on a second try at questions on the rules of the road and on their second trial at actually dem onstrating their ability to operate POISON in Your bowels! Poisons absorbed into the system from souring waste in the bowels, cause that dull, headachy, sluggish, bilious condition; coat the tongue; foul the breath; sap energy, strength and nerve-force. A little of Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin will clear up trouble like that, gently, harm lessly, in a hurry. The difference it will make in your feelings over night will prove its merit to you. Dr. Caldwell studied constipation for over forty-seven years. This long experience enabled him to make his prescription just what men, women, old people and children need to make their bowels help themselves. Its natural, mild, thorough action and its pleasant taste commend it to everyone. That's why "Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin," as it is called, is the most popular laxative drugstores sell " Da. W. B. Caldwell's ' SYRUP PEPSI IM A Doctor's Family Laxative jj 5s sai sa 33 53 39 33 53 S3 53 S3 33 33 S3 33 33 53 33 33 In Step With Fashion What a difference there is in footwear. Your shoes must fit they must also compli ment the rest of your clothing. Peters "Diamond Brand shoes are tru ly "In Step With Fashion" and the newest styles are just adorable. You will be surprised at the low prices on this quality footwear. IS Bedroom Slippers for. All the Family Give Footwear For Christmas GONTY'S m m m m m m m m m si iW: a motor vehicle. Failure to pass the vision tests given by the division examiners has kept several persons from complet ing their examination. They have been asked to obtain a certificate from someone competent that they would be considered safe drivers and if possible to have their vision corrected. This permits the per son who falls to pass the depart ment tests to get expert optomet rical advice as to whether he is able to see sufficiently to drive be fore a license is refused him. Many persons have learned for the first time during the vision tests that they have minor eye troubles, which while not sufficient to pro hibit them from driving are such that the individual is glad to know about them so that steps may be taken to counteract any more ser ious difficulties later. At present 233 persons have passed the tests on knowledge of the motor vehicle laws and the vision and hearing tests and are driving with temporary Instruction permits until they have sufficient familiarity with the actual opera tion of a car to enable them to take the driving test. These permits are good for 90 days and require that the applicant have a registered driver with him in the front seat of the car while he is learning. "An outstanding fact in the con duct of examinations thus far," states Mr. Hoss, "is the revelation that even those persons who have failed to pass certain portions of the tests have seen the value in such examinations and have ex pressed their satisfaction with the law and the methods which have been followed in carrying out its provisions." Ron G.-T. Want At. UNEMPLOYMENT W HAft ABOUT is CAUSED BY SM5W SHOVELFCS UxKlH FOR JOBS IM R0&1M Stock Fire Insurance Companies are represented by Capable Agents in your community PER CENT ofalL IF DRIES occwl. in. hxrmjzA V To reduce these hazards, Stock Fire Insurance companies through the National Board of Fire Underwriters and other organizations maintain many helpful services. STOCK FIRE INSURANCE considers the protection of homes and communities no less important than the pay ment of losses. . THE NATIONAL BOARD OF FIRE UNDERWRITERS 85 John Street, NEW YORK CHICAGO, 222 West Adams Street SAN FRANCISCO, Merchants Exchange Bldg. A National Organization of Stock Fire Insurance Companies Established in 1666 Hpp We've searched the finest markets to bring yon the leuon'i moat galatable foods foods fairly teem lg with healthfulness. Fire, wholesome ..candies, ..too satin mixes, ..chocolates, .from ..drops, crystallised oremes, crispy peanut brittle candy so delicious it fair ly melts in your mouth 1 All e-s pecially priced for holiday needs. This is the year to make dreams come true, to have all thou won derful treats you always wanted, with no bug-a-boo of extrava- Sance to mar your enjoyment ome, shop and save I Prices Effective Sat., Dec. 19, to Thurs., Dec. 24, Inc. BACON POWD. SUGAR COFFEE SHORTENING MILK Eastern Corn Fed, medium weight well streaked XXX Grade to top oft your fine cake. MacMarr. Hepp ner's favorite White and fluf fy and always fresh. Federal Brand, a western prod uct tall tins. Lb. 20c 5 Lbs. 45c 3 Lbs. 95c 8 Lbs. 83c 15 tall tins 98c POP CORN Jolly Time, it always pops. 5 Lbs. . . 39c PEEL Citron, Lemon, Orange Per Lb. . 29C MINCE MEAT The finest we ever sold. 2 Lbs. . . 29c CURRANTS Maximum Brand . 1 5-oz. Pk. 19c PUMPKIN 2 No. 2 Tins For those delicious pies I yC OYSTERS 5-oz. tins Blue Sea rOC SHRIMP 21 5-oz Tins, fancy pack JmjC OLIVES 21r Large tins, fancy ripe aOC XMAS CANDIES Our Candies are all pure sugar products made in our own fac tory in Lot Angeles one of the finest in the west. C A TIM MTY sleadid flavor nd variety ATI )? Ottilia 1VI1A of color- pure product. M LDS. H0s BROKEN MIX Ho better mix candy can be found anywhere. 2 Lbs. 29c 0. F. CHOCOLATES, P. N. BRITTLE 2 OCn MONSTER GUMS Y0V u o DC FRENCH MIX The ?Zr v 2 Lbs, 39c CHOC CHERRIES KiSCT Per Box 45c ancy Fancv Box Chocolates the beit monev can bnv. fil ..Lh. fim 89c good mixture favorltte kinds. MIX NUTS f. WAT MTiTC . " PEANUTS BRAZILS ALMONDS HAZEL NUTS Fancy No. l's Very economical 1931 Crop Soft Shelled 2 2 2 Ore. gon of your S A 3 LBS. fJUl sise, 2 libs. 37o 1 Lbs. 550 Lbs. 29c Lbs. 33c Lbs. 35c Lbs. 45c SQUASH r.010" Per Lb. lc CR. BERRIES wJTPerLb.l5c CRACKERS rrST Cdy 29c Mayonnaise L Per Pint 29c 4 Lb.s 45C 3 Doz. 39c A TC Q Fancy and full Ur 1 EjkJ of syrup Medium Size ORANGES 106 N. Main St FREE DELIVERY Phone 1082