Image provided by: Morrow County Museum; Heppner, OR
About The Ione independent. (Ione, Or.) 1916-19?? | View Entire Issue (March 27, 1931)
WOULD YOU BELIEVE ITT "I don't take tips, sir." "Our prices are reduced." "Things were much better In our day." "I shan't want a holiday this year, elr." "May I offer you my seat, miss?" "The editor will he pleased to ac cept your contribution." "I never criticize the government" "Yes, we've had our cook six years." "I think she Is better looking than ( am, dear." Passing Show. Barred A neighbor offered Martha, who was admiring his puppies, one of the rat terriers. "1 know mother won't let me have It because we don't raise rats, and her grocery bill Is about all" she can stand," said the philosophical six-year-old. WAS NEVER LIFTED m IL "Has she ever had her face lifted T "Where could you find a thief aho would want to steal such a thing V FicLU "The styles are chang-lpg tery fast," Said Btsgie to Mane. "And It's just tbe tame with husbands, too. I'm changing mine, you see. Utilizing It "I want to return this license." "Won't the girl marry your "I thought 1 was getting a hunting license." "Can't refund your money." "Then I guess I'll have to go hunt ing for a girl." Charged Plenty Drlde (on honeymoon) Why do yon look so unhappy, J!tn? Tou know that we are one now. Groom Tes, dear, but Judging from the hotel Mil I've Jut received the manager seems to think we're about half a dozen. ON THE SQUARE H, urn differ She Why Is this boxing ring not round? It bus four corners. lie Well, this match Is on the square. Wags on Wags I told my dachshund such a Joke; I thought he did not aee. But, ere nve minute had elapsed, tie wagged hla tall In glee. A Doctor's Night "I attended a wild purty lust night,1 remarked the doctor. "Why, you told me you were going to see a patient" exclaimed his wife, "I did," grinned the doctor. "He was the wild party, and they hud Just brought him home from one." The Easiest Way Ship Captain (excitedly) -All hands on deck 1 The ship litis sprung a leuk I Voice From the Hold (sleepily) Aw, put a pan under It an' go buck to Bleep I" 50,000 Year Ago Mrs. Pithecanthropus Look at that, wlllya? Every shelf In this cave loaded down with those pieces of flint I" Mr. rithernnthropus Well, what am 1 gonna do with my old razor bludesi Chicago Imlly News. A Ton-Up "What's nn oil prospector?" "About as good a definition as any Is, a man who doesn't know whethei tie Is four feet from a million dollar or a million feet from four dollar." Making Coffee in $ Large Quantities t By Betsy Calllster pv'KN your favorite recipe book may - fail you when you are faced with the task of preparing coffee for a largo number of persons, because the rule for coffee making Is usually given lu terms of small coffee pots or perco lators for a small number of persons. For coffee of moderate strength you will find that one pound will do for fifty persons, allowing thirty-six measuring cups or nine quarts of wa ter. Thts will give enough coffee for one full coffee cup each after the coffee Is done. You should have a re serve supply of coffee on bund In case you find that it Is not strong enough because coffee differs somewhat In strength of the brew It produces. He sure to use coffee that has been ground the same day and kept In nn air tight container or else a tin of coffee not opened until Just before It Is to be used. It Is by no means necessary to have a percolator or percolators In which to make the coffee, as excellent results may be obtained by using any per fectly clean aluminum or agateware pan. Hut he sure It Is perfectly clean and free from breaks. If you use n pan that has never been used for meats or vegetables It Is a good plan to llll It with cold water to which a little washing soda Is added and let It boil ui Then rinse and you may be sure that the coffee will be of a good flavor. To be sure that the coffee Is free from grounds, tie It up In three or four clean cheesecloth bugs before putting It Into the pan. tiQ, McClure Niw'apr SvmlU'at.) -O- , SUPERSTITIOUS q SUE ill' ) SHE HAS HEARD THAT When there has been a marriage In a family and there art still some hop ing Hannahs left for cupld's sake, girls, keep a piece of the wedding cake In the house at long as any unmarried daughters remain, or fatt will doom them always to be single. (SX McClure Newipaper Syndicate.) eoooooooooooooooooooooooor WE ALL ARE I EQUALS I By Douglas Malloch. y 0 0 00 000 0O0 OOOOO 0 0000 000 0 I WOULD be like the grass 1 That cools The feet of serf or king. Whatever pilgrims pass, Iut fools Would ask what wealth they bring. I would be king because They need Some kindness In this hour; And only fools would pause To read Their rank or wealth or pow'f. I would be like the grass That greets The feet of king or serf, For ninn Is hut a mass That meets Upon the common turf. It is enough to know That they And we, and all, are kin For all the grasses grow In May, For all the songs begin. I would be like the grass. Itestore Life's Joy to all the sad, Would cheer the ones who pass My door, Nor ask what wealth they ha We all are equals here Be kind Together walk the heath; I know some other year Shall find Cs equals underneath. & lll. Douflaa SJlloch. , Even though a man has only a year or two more to live, money cheers him. It Is foolish to underrate It HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHtXmHHHtIHt tMttlfltt(teJwtlWW Two New Wc::en Judges Preside in Massachusetts ;j r ft' ' I ..,4 s ':, .... )l( , ) U The tlrst Judges of their sex In Hoston. Musi., Mrs. Kniina K. Schofield, left, and Mr. Kiulin I shown being sworn In by Governor Allen, lio appointed them shortly bert.ro going out of ollloo. Slmliiiiiii, art .4 r i ii 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 h- -f-i 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 it Women Who Demand Recreation I By JEAN NEWTON I I 1 I I I I I I I I I II I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I UN I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I 1 1 I I II r T11R wife's love for sliding down the banister has wrecked the mar riage of a Chicago man. Wide admitted that this wns her favorite recreation and apimrently her husband didn't like It. Whether It was the sight of her swinging 'round a curve, or the noise, or the danger to her or the banister that annoyed him, has not been made clesr. The point Is that he Just couldn't stand It, and eventually, they tny, resorted to cruelty in an effort to dls sunde her from the spurt. Apparently the Judge didn't think It such a heinous crime as he gave her the divorce, alimony and custody of their child. I am sure all women will aorlntm the Judge who decided that sliding down the banister ts no cause for cruelty that, In fact, If she must get her fun that way It Is a wife's inalienable right 1 For my part I think he should have Why Boys Leave Home BY ? JOC ARCHIBALD 1 , r si f a A PAIM 6"TT?AJ Op fi la rLndS aj mtthM I AAJ die QbwCflA-rtiAj'Y H these if feeim' ctv kiD. , e MfOuie Nfwytper njicile l THE KIPPERED SNOOPLECRAB H By Hugh Hutton. li (Author of Nutty Niitur.il lllntory ft 7 V t:.: UK female tiiioiplecrah meets In inning liners o.T I'lre Ilaiul, and lays her eggs In the Mn ikoMuc i.s. Tin' young ones lire hllt. lii i ttltilo the Is lying at the pr, and by lh'- tine they puss l-'li- I.-IihmI u; ;iI,i mi the n ;t wnrd voyage are t h. i.''il I. by the smoke. 1'r.nn th.,i lime nut I they n-lurn on the int t r . ; . the Slioopleerale. 1 lintiilti but I'i.ih i I the meals and the wmither. T!n-j ,iu- Useful, howcMT. In I ; il :. the lice away from tin- ci'h's gall. .v. 'i hi particular one Is crabbing about the uge of the salt pork he had for dinner. Ills body Is half a walnut with six clove legs. The nippers are cloves and split almonds, while hit head Is an undersized peanut. He uses a toothpick tall, pins for' feelers, und rice with Ink-spots for eyes. iti Motropolltan Nawavatxr Strrlr 000000 ooooooooooooo Some Helpful Hints About Food By NELLIE MAXWELL Climb the mountain! and set their flood tidings. Nature's peace will flow through you ai aunHhine flows through tre. The wlntfa will blow their own freshneni into you, and the etorms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of autumn. John Mulr. A S ALL digestion begins In the mouth, young children should he taught the habit of good mastication. When the food Is well chewed It Is ground into fine bits and well mixed with the salivu, which Is the first di gestive Juice which acts on sturch. The stomach Juices have no effect on starchy foods. If the food Is not well mixed In the mouth, It passes Into the atomach and out without any process of 'digestion, leaving the whole work to fall on the Intestines. The one-to-two sauce Is the same porportlon of liquid, whether It Is milk, fruit Juice, broth or water, with two UihlcKpoonfuls each of butter utii thickening. Hour Is always measured after slfi lug. Unking powder should be nil-red In Hie can before iiieasiir rig. as li iiich down mal If tneii' iir-xl thus will be more than Is needed. This Is true of all dry mixtures. The manner of cooking splnnch can make It simply a roughage dish with all Its mineral content wasted. 'Spin ach should be cooked In as little wa: ter as possible, cooked quickly, re moved at once when tender and served bright In edor, hot and tasty. Usual ly the amount of water that clings to the loaves after the washing will be suflldent to cook It. An omelet Is a tnsty, dainty dish which will oppcul to most appetites. Serve well seasoned nnd generously buttered, fresh, tender spinach with the omelet or folded In It, Cundy given at the right time nnd in properamounts Is one of the best of energy producing foods. Candy should never he given In-fore a meal, but preferably ns a bit of dessert lift er it. A small amount may be taken between meals. If enough fresh fruit and green vegetables are used In (ho child's filet, there will be on need o' worry n!.oi:i h!s it x i ,, ,,, usual '-.'M who I, I li:.e r and often the craving he has for aweets Is an Indication of some lack In tbe diet. For two loaves of bread take one cupful of yeast, one cake softened In half cupful of lukewarm water If the commercial yeast Is used, add one half teaspoonful of sugar to the yeast nnd stir well. Take two tablespoon fuls of fat and the same of sugar, two teaspoonfuls of suit and two nnd one-half cupfuls of liquid, either milk and wuter or all water or all milk. Custards for Children. During the season when rich steamed puddings like plum pudding are served, the chil dren feel left out If they ore not served soineihlng special. When mak ing buked or steamed cup custurd, drop a piece of peanut brittle or a caramel candy lu tbe bottom of the cup. When turned out, the cundy inn lies a most tasty sauce covering the custard, Nuts dipped li.t.i chocolate or tinted foiiibint make small candles to llll In the chili!;: In M -n Inly box. ' '' '' i' III ,N .VHIiillllll' UNlr.nl gone a step further and Investigated Into the circumstance that caused this woman to resort to such a Juve nile form of recreation. To the mind of every woman It will be clear not only that she has done nothing wrong, but that she has been very much sinned against I For any woman whose tsstes are so simple must lead a very dull life I Any woman whose need for recre . tlon must be supplied by the banis ter would suggest to us not censure, but sympathy. I li-r husband rimnot bo very good company. We all want some fun and gnyety In our live In fact, we need It nnd when a woman has been reduced to seeking her entertainment In such pastime as sliding down the banister It ts not she who should be held up to Judg ment, but the husband with whom existence Is so colorless thnt sliding down the banister seems font (, llll. lull ayailtiate I KNOWING THE TREES (Acer Daiycarpum.) TMIE silver maple, often called soft or white maple, Is a rather large rapidly growing snj usually some what brittle tree with soft white wood. 1 The haves ure large and five pointed, light green on the surface end slhrry white hem-nth. The silver maple Is riot as rugged in appciirimctt ns the rock muple nor l TO T 4 "Taking a pledge not to drink any more," says Frivolous Flo, "is Just an other kind of corn cure." (CopvrlKlit.i Is It as well shaped as tbe Norway maple. One of the most common dlseasea of the silver maple Is the tur leaf spot. This dlsoa.se Is so called because the leines of the tree when sttscke.1 look as though tnr hud been sprli.klel liberally oer the surface of the leaves. Silver maple has been uied great deal as a street tree although It ha uiMny dlsadMintnges, A 111. W'MUtn S..ei L'ul, n ) English SHeep-Shearcri Make Festival of Work In the rural 01 -drifts of LiiglanJ heep shearing time It undo the occa sion of fi-Mivlty and merrymaking. In levoii particularly It i nn age old cus tom that nil le Igliboi iir; f.u in. i s should unite to eel the ttmk i,iiih ns ipih k'v as c h h'e. . t l e vihie Ihey have in ri v t. . ., ' i. h ( er U HTM- ! I:, tin n . e l l e i farmer t m, '::; !: ( , I . t ' , f ' henrili:: fi'T I - i. 'i!.-'' :" i ! ilay t.i!. I, ; i , fir It is IU .! I. I i - !!, Hie hap v en. I v. i !l i . , . . i.i Mi era.'fs. A hi e.ni r ihi i !lo Me p III a i!ay. 'I he il i .'s n..rl, not l!n-I- hed until - ell a':, r .! : k. I'.ul !o u the l.it !cii b.ii liei ii hleun, n rain's boill Is lllled y)lh !ii:.,r in luiinleil round. As eo li loan O'lhl.s, he cries; "Here's hoii!th to Ihe thick." Aflrr this the evening It leulcil In ftiis(lng, drinking or merrymaking. a 1 ' t' 1 '. lie ' 1 1 - : er . ii i ' I i. c-l 1 ! Arrangrmrnt Is a mutual nrnim:. Friendly Modus thcndl nietit whereby persons not at the time on friendly terms can be Induced la lle together lu harmony. The term may be applied to Individuals, to socle. ties or to peoples. I FISHING SCHOONER IS COVERED WITH ICE i TTW . Hi hV I ! Va h , S ' x'l f r -5.': t ft I Ik .A I 51 i i A, i fi Mure Is trio tinning schooner Wanderer covered wllh Ice wneu n .. ,,, t the South Iloston llHh plop, after being t in the terribly cod , m . ' prevailed ulong the New lOnglund coast. 11 1 ut