WOULD YOU BELIEVE ITT
"I don't take tips, sir."
"Our prices are reduced."
"Things were much better In our
day."
"I shan't want a holiday this year,
elr."
"May I offer you my seat, miss?"
"The editor will he pleased to ac
cept your contribution."
"I never criticize the government"
"Yes, we've had our cook six years."
"I think she Is better looking than
( am, dear." Passing Show.
Barred
A neighbor offered Martha, who was
admiring his puppies, one of the rat
terriers.
"1 know mother won't let me have
It because we don't raise rats, and
her grocery bill Is about all" she can
stand," said the philosophical six-year-old.
WAS NEVER LIFTED
m IL
"Has she ever had her face lifted T
"Where could you find a thief aho
would want to steal such a thing V
FicLU
"The styles are chang-lpg tery fast,"
Said Btsgie to Mane.
"And It's just tbe tame with husbands,
too.
I'm changing mine, you see.
Utilizing It
"I want to return this license."
"Won't the girl marry your
"I thought 1 was getting a hunting
license."
"Can't refund your money."
"Then I guess I'll have to go hunt
ing for a girl."
Charged Plenty
Drlde (on honeymoon) Why do yon
look so unhappy, J!tn? Tou know that
we are one now.
Groom Tes, dear, but Judging from
the hotel Mil I've Jut received the
manager seems to think we're about
half a dozen.
ON THE SQUARE
H, urn
differ
She Why Is this boxing ring not
round? It bus four corners.
lie Well, this match Is on the
square.
Wags on Wags
I told my dachshund such a Joke;
I thought he did not aee.
But, ere nve minute had elapsed,
tie wagged hla tall In glee.
A Doctor's Night
"I attended a wild purty lust night,1
remarked the doctor.
"Why, you told me you were going
to see a patient" exclaimed his wife,
"I did," grinned the doctor. "He
was the wild party, and they hud Just
brought him home from one."
The Easiest Way
Ship Captain (excitedly) -All hands
on deck 1 The ship litis sprung a leuk I
Voice From the Hold (sleepily) Aw,
put a pan under It an' go buck to
Bleep I"
50,000 Year Ago
Mrs. Pithecanthropus Look at that,
wlllya? Every shelf In this cave
loaded down with those pieces of
flint I"
Mr. rithernnthropus Well, what am
1 gonna do with my old razor bludesi
Chicago Imlly News.
A Ton-Up
"What's nn oil prospector?"
"About as good a definition as any
Is, a man who doesn't know whethei
tie Is four feet from a million dollar
or a million feet from four dollar."
Making Coffee in $
Large Quantities t
By Betsy Calllster
pv'KN your favorite recipe book may
- fail you when you are faced with
the task of preparing coffee for a largo
number of persons, because the rule
for coffee making Is usually given lu
terms of small coffee pots or perco
lators for a small number of persons.
For coffee of moderate strength
you will find that one pound will do
for fifty persons, allowing thirty-six
measuring cups or nine quarts of wa
ter. Thts will give enough coffee for
one full coffee cup each after the
coffee Is done. You should have a re
serve supply of coffee on bund In case
you find that it Is not strong enough
because coffee differs somewhat In
strength of the brew It produces. He
sure to use coffee that has been ground
the same day and kept In nn air tight
container or else a tin of coffee not
opened until Just before It Is to be
used.
It Is by no means necessary to have
a percolator or percolators In which
to make the coffee, as excellent results
may be obtained by using any per
fectly clean aluminum or agateware
pan. Hut he sure It Is perfectly clean
and free from breaks. If you use n
pan that has never been used for meats
or vegetables It Is a good plan to llll
It with cold water to which a little
washing soda Is added and let It boil
ui Then rinse and you may be sure
that the coffee will be of a good flavor.
To be sure that the coffee Is free
from grounds, tie It up In three or four
clean cheesecloth bugs before putting
It Into the pan.
tiQ, McClure Niw'apr SvmlU'at.)
-O-
, SUPERSTITIOUS q
SUE
ill' )
SHE HAS HEARD THAT
When there has been a marriage In
a family and there art still some hop
ing Hannahs left for cupld's sake,
girls, keep a piece of the wedding cake
In the house at long as any unmarried
daughters remain, or fatt will doom
them always to be single.
(SX McClure Newipaper Syndicate.)
eoooooooooooooooooooooooor
WE ALL ARE I
EQUALS I
By Douglas Malloch. y
0 0 00 000 0O0 OOOOO 0 0000 000 0
I WOULD be like the grass
1 That cools
The feet of serf or king.
Whatever pilgrims pass,
Iut fools
Would ask what wealth they bring.
I would be king because
They need
Some kindness In this hour;
And only fools would pause
To read
Their rank or wealth or pow'f.
I would be like the grass
That greets
The feet of king or serf,
For ninn Is hut a mass
That meets
Upon the common turf.
It is enough to know
That they
And we, and all, are kin
For all the grasses grow
In May,
For all the songs begin.
I would be like the grass.
Itestore
Life's Joy to all the sad,
Would cheer the ones who pass
My door,
Nor ask what wealth they ha
We all are equals here
Be kind
Together walk the heath;
I know some other year
Shall find
Cs equals underneath.
& lll. Douflaa SJlloch. ,
Even though a man has only a year
or two more to live, money cheers
him. It Is foolish to underrate It
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHtXmHHHtIHt tMttlfltt(teJwtlWW
Two New Wc::en Judges Preside in Massachusetts ;j
r
ft'
' I
..,4 s ':, .... )l( ,
)
U
The tlrst Judges of their sex In Hoston. Musi., Mrs. Kniina K. Schofield, left, and Mr. Kiulin I
shown being sworn In by Governor Allen, lio appointed them shortly bert.ro going out of ollloo.
Slmliiiiiii, art
.4 r i ii 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 h- -f-i 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 it
Women Who Demand Recreation I
By JEAN NEWTON
I I 1 I I I I I I I I I II I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I UN I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I 1 1 I I II r
T11R wife's love for sliding down
the banister has wrecked the mar
riage of a Chicago man.
Wide admitted that this wns her
favorite recreation and apimrently
her husband didn't like It. Whether It
was the sight of her swinging 'round
a curve, or the noise, or the danger
to her or the banister that annoyed
him, has not been made clesr.
The point Is that he Just couldn't
stand It, and eventually, they tny,
resorted to cruelty in an effort to dls
sunde her from the spurt.
Apparently the Judge didn't think
It such a heinous crime as he gave
her the divorce, alimony and custody
of their child.
I am sure all women will aorlntm
the Judge who decided that sliding
down the banister ts no cause for
cruelty that, In fact, If she must
get her fun that way It Is a wife's
inalienable right 1
For my part I think he should have
Why Boys Leave Home
BY ?
JOC ARCHIBALD
1
, r
si
f
a
A PAIM 6"TT?AJ Op fi la
rLndS aj mtthM I
AAJ die QbwCflA-rtiAj'Y
H these if feeim'
ctv kiD.
, e MfOuie Nfwytper
njicile
l THE KIPPERED
SNOOPLECRAB
H By Hugh Hutton.
li (Author of Nutty Niitur.il lllntory ft
7 V
t:.:
UK female tiiioiplecrah meets In
inning liners o.T I'lre Ilaiul, and
lays her eggs In the Mn ikoMuc i.s. Tin'
young ones lire hllt. lii i ttltilo the
Is lying at the pr, and by lh'- tine
they puss l-'li- I.-IihmI u; ;iI,i mi the n ;t
wnrd voyage are t h. i.''il I.
by the smoke. 1'r.nn th.,i lime nut I
they n-lurn on the int t r . ; . the
Slioopleerale. 1 lintiilti but I'i.ih i I
the meals and the wmither. T!n-j ,iu-
Useful, howcMT. In I ; il :. the
lice away from tin- ci'h's gall. .v. 'i hi
particular one Is crabbing about the
uge of the salt pork he had for dinner.
Ills body Is half a walnut with six
clove legs. The nippers are cloves
and split almonds, while hit head Is
an undersized peanut. He uses a
toothpick tall, pins for' feelers, und
rice with Ink-spots for eyes.
iti Motropolltan Nawavatxr Strrlr
000000
ooooooooooooo
Some Helpful Hints About Food
By NELLIE MAXWELL
Climb the mountain! and set their
flood tidings. Nature's peace will
flow through you ai aunHhine flows
through tre. The wlntfa will blow
their own freshneni into you, and the
etorms their energy, while cares will
drop away from you like the leaves
of autumn. John Mulr.
A S ALL digestion begins In the
mouth, young children should he
taught the habit of good mastication.
When the food Is well chewed It Is
ground into fine bits and well mixed
with the salivu, which Is the first di
gestive Juice which acts on sturch.
The stomach Juices have no effect on
starchy foods. If the food Is not well
mixed In the mouth, It passes Into the
atomach and out without any process
of 'digestion, leaving the whole work
to fall on the Intestines.
The one-to-two sauce Is the same
porportlon of liquid, whether It Is
milk, fruit Juice, broth or water, with
two UihlcKpoonfuls each of butter utii
thickening. Hour Is always measured
after slfi lug. Unking powder should
be nil-red In Hie can before iiieasiir
rig. as li iiich down mal If tneii' iir-xl
thus will be more than Is needed.
This Is true of all dry mixtures.
The manner of cooking splnnch can
make It simply a roughage dish with
all Its mineral content wasted. 'Spin
ach should be cooked In as little wa:
ter as possible, cooked quickly, re
moved at once when tender and served
bright In edor, hot and tasty. Usual
ly the amount of water that clings to
the loaves after the washing will be
suflldent to cook It.
An omelet Is a tnsty, dainty dish
which will oppcul to most appetites.
Serve well seasoned nnd generously
buttered, fresh, tender spinach with
the omelet or folded In It,
Cundy given at the right time nnd
in properamounts Is one of the best
of energy producing foods. Candy
should never he given In-fore a meal,
but preferably ns a bit of dessert lift
er it. A small amount may be taken
between meals. If enough fresh fruit
and green vegetables are used In (ho
child's filet, there will be on need o'
worry n!.oi:i h!s it x i ,, ,,,
usual '-.'M who I, I li:.e r
and often the craving he has for
aweets Is an Indication of some lack
In tbe diet.
For two loaves of bread take one
cupful of yeast, one cake softened
In half cupful of lukewarm water If
the commercial yeast Is used, add one
half teaspoonful of sugar to the yeast
nnd stir well. Take two tablespoon
fuls of fat and the same of sugar,
two teaspoonfuls of suit and two nnd
one-half cupfuls of liquid, either milk
and wuter or all water or all milk.
Custards for Children. During the
season when rich steamed puddings
like plum pudding are served, the chil
dren feel left out If they ore not
served soineihlng special. When mak
ing buked or steamed cup custurd,
drop a piece of peanut brittle or a
caramel candy lu tbe bottom of the
cup. When turned out, the cundy
inn lies a most tasty sauce covering
the custard,
Nuts dipped li.t.i chocolate or tinted
foiiibint make small candles to llll In
the chili!;: In M -n Inly box.
' '' '' i' III ,N .VHIiillllll' UNlr.nl
gone a step further and Investigated
Into the circumstance that caused
this woman to resort to such a Juve
nile form of recreation. To the mind
of every woman It will be clear not
only that she has done nothing wrong,
but that she has been very much
sinned against I For any woman whose
tsstes are so simple must lead a very
dull life I
Any woman whose need for recre
. tlon must be supplied by the banis
ter would suggest to us not censure,
but sympathy. I li-r husband rimnot
bo very good company. We all want
some fun and gnyety In our live
In fact, we need It nnd when a
woman has been reduced to seeking
her entertainment In such pastime as
sliding down the banister It ts not
she who should be held up to Judg
ment, but the husband with whom
existence Is so colorless thnt sliding
down the banister seems font
(, llll. lull ayailtiate I
KNOWING THE TREES
(Acer Daiycarpum.)
TMIE silver maple, often called soft
or white maple, Is a rather large
rapidly growing snj usually some
what brittle tree with soft white wood.
1
The haves ure large and five pointed,
light green on the surface end slhrry
white hem-nth.
The silver maple Is riot as rugged
in appciirimctt ns the rock muple nor
l TO
T 4
"Taking a pledge not to drink any
more," says Frivolous Flo, "is Just an
other kind of corn cure."
(CopvrlKlit.i
Is It as well shaped as tbe Norway
maple.
One of the most common dlseasea
of the silver maple Is the tur leaf
spot. This dlsoa.se Is so called because
the leines of the tree when sttscke.1
look as though tnr hud been sprli.klel
liberally oer the surface of the
leaves.
Silver maple has been uied great
deal as a street tree although It ha
uiMny dlsadMintnges,
A 111. W'MUtn S..ei L'ul, n )
English SHeep-Shearcri
Make Festival of Work
In the rural 01 -drifts of LiiglanJ
heep shearing time It undo the occa
sion of fi-Mivlty and merrymaking. In
levoii particularly It i nn age old cus
tom that nil le Igliboi iir; f.u in. i s
should unite to eel the ttmk i,iiih ns
ipih k'v as c h h'e. . t l e vihie
Ihey have in ri v t. . ., ' i. h (
er U HTM- ! I:, tin n . e l l e i
farmer t m, '::; !: ( , I . t ' , f
' henrili:: fi'T I - i. 'i!.-'' :" i !
ilay t.i!. I, ; i ,
fir It is IU .! I. I i - !!,
Hie hap v en. I v. i !l i . , . . i.i Mi
era.'fs. A hi e.ni r ihi i !lo Me p
III a i!ay. 'I he il i .'s n..rl, not l!n-I-
hed until - ell a':, r .! : k. I'.ul !o u
the l.it !cii b.ii liei ii hleun, n rain's
boill Is lllled y)lh !ii:.,r in luiinleil
round. As eo li loan O'lhl.s, he cries;
"Here's hoii!th to Ihe thick." Aflrr
this the evening It leulcil In ftiis(lng,
drinking or merrymaking.
a 1
' t'
1
'. lie
' 1 1 -
: er
. ii
i '
I i.
c-l 1
!
Arrangrmrnt
Is a mutual nrnim:.
Friendly
Modus thcndl
nietit whereby persons not at the time
on friendly terms can be Induced la
lle together lu harmony. The term
may be applied to Individuals, to socle.
ties or to peoples.
I FISHING SCHOONER IS COVERED WITH ICE i
TTW . Hi hV I !
Va h , S ' x'l
f
r -5.': t ft I Ik .A I
51 i i
A,
i fi
Mure Is trio tinning schooner Wanderer covered wllh Ice wneu n .. ,,,
t the South Iloston llHh plop, after being t in the terribly cod , m . '
prevailed ulong the New lOnglund coast. 11 1 ut