Image provided by: Morrow County Museum; Heppner, OR
About The Ione independent. (Ione, Or.) 1916-19?? | View Entire Issue (Sept. 6, 1929)
OUR COMIC SECTION "II ' tJ If-Wc. ISH 11 I I t If 1M6J 1JI i " ' " FINNEY OF THE FORCE tAwlWfAPWS-l Q i MOW VlOToeiVO THE FEATHERHEADS Staving Off the Contract-Seeker I "V I I Our Pet Peeve .X UOlMt Ufc WKX ft I UUV MKV WAflt-f gfg) 1 ESI JJjj Special Instructions ir vaoasT vun- OMnV AVU5- Just W PREPARED FOR STORM A lawyer who hud been married mnnjr years Joined three friends In stag pHi-tjr one night ;id arrived home long after midnight Hit wife, wait ing up fur lilm, had fallen asleep la tit-r cluilr, but the wakened ai be stepped Into the boue carrying rained umbrella. "What are yoo doing with that um brella over your head la this rooraT he demanded. "I expect i itorm to break an; mlov me, now," be answered. WHOLESALE "See that man. tie's one of the turnout motion picture stars and one of our beet customers.'' "You don't SBjf "Yes, he hat standing ortler for one dozen engagement rings per month. " " . Auditorial Charm ' Mr radio! ily radio) I listen and rajolco. Tour though! may be a trifle alow, But (till I love your voice. Not Quite the 8iggst "1 detplse hjpocrltea. Take 8mltB wn, for example j be's the biggest hypocrite on earth." "Hut you appear to be bit best frleml "(Hi, yet j I try to appear friendly toward hhu. It pays better In the end.' A LIGHT BLOW Judge You soy ycu struck your buabnnd only a llttht blow. Where did you hit him and with whati Arrtiaed Lady On the bead with a lamp, your honor. It All D.peeda I mint ba a douMe boy. And not Ilka othar laddlaa; Whan I'm sxd I'm mummy'i child. But wbtn I'm bad I'm daddy's. That'a What It Was Mlas Jtmho I've wunted to know you ever since yon moved Into the bulldlnit. I wanted tn aak who It la that pliiyt the anxophone so lovely In your (Int. Mis l.lttlcfliit We've got no anxo phone there, hut ps snores something awful. Both la Search Former Mnld You told my new mint rem I was a thief. I can't find words lo express by Indignation. Former Mlmress And w can't And six pnlr of stocking, two tablecloths and eight towels. 1'iithflnder. Slnila and Rick Fentheintone I hud great luck this morning. Found a 110 bill lo my hist summer's suit. Hockyford .Vol Why, 1 thought you were married. Than She Roaated Him "Whnt't to be done about dlnnerr demanded hit wife, looking around th disorder of the enmp. "Kverythlna, I hope," growled her huthnnd, "for I butt half-cooked stuff 1" Claae Connections Appleby That lawyer would tore make n good tailor, IMmiherly In what respectt Appleby Well, ha hat so many sultt ou bis bands. Hope of Golden Future Not Much Consolation Baal Bran, a leading member of the RusHlan committee that tins come to America to spend Hfl,ooO,000 for au tomobile trucks and tractors, said in an Interview In New York. . "Uuwila will get on her feet, If eap Itul will only give her a fair deal. In Kuisla we are hoping, and there's nothing like hope to disappoint you, Is tlieref Mr. Dron laughed grimly and went on: "A friend of mine wat complaining about the deul Itusxla gets from enp Itnl. Another friend patted his shoul der and snld: 'Cheer op, brother. Somewhere behind the clouds the sun Is shining.' "'Yes,' sutd my friend, 'and some where below the sea there's solid bot tom, but whut good does that do to the shipwrecked sailor who can't SwlmT" Detroit Free Press, Caie of Heredity Algernon McCllntock, the noted ho tel man. said st a banquet In Balti more : "Tonight Is the anniversary of the birth of BrlllHt-Hnvnrln, the Imrnortnl gourmet Brlllat-8avarln Inherited bis love of good food. An aunt of his died at the age of ninety-seven ss she was finishing a rlcb eight-course din ner In bed. "'I feel that I am going,' snld the old lady. 'Qalck, my dessert V Coed St Nicholas St Nicholas was the patron saint of Russia, lie wat the bishop of Mvra to f.ycla In the Fourth, century. Be Is regarded at the patron saint of merchants snd travelers by see and land, but also especially of the yonng and of scholars. Hence his festival. December 6. was formerly celebrated tn the English schools, and atlll sur vives In the Santa Clans of Christian rejoicings. Yonng Tyrants There seem to be as many spoiled children as ever. It la remarkable bow parenta will permit their children to manage them to the detriment of all concerned. Woman's Home Com panion. Millions cow nse Rust Ball Blue. Slakes clothes snowy white. Get the genuine. Adv. Quite Impoaaibla "Land mikes there Mary! What's all that noise lo the kltchenr "Too don't expect me to break three platters and two cups without makln' a noise, do yuh?" ChildrenGy tar CASTORIA A BABY REMEDY APPU0VED BY DOCTORS i VOOUtOSnSTVWaM.Dugwnu j Ask for "TACK -UP" Fly Catcher Leading Ribbon Fly Catcher Rationally oAdrtTtutd doit nr. na, ,a, G rid of peaty fllra. Hant op orfeinal AF.ROXON (pronounced A -Rock -Sou) Fly Catcher area 1 taak-1 ack Attach, rio tuaa no troublcThry will catch thousand of flic lor a bkU. lum upon gcttina ALKUXON Fly Cichr Iron you daaier Sola lmportcra and Distributor for U.S. A CRAEF A SANDKNOP, Edlna, Ma. Public Fairly Warned A warning to the public to keep oS the streets while a young woman was taking her driver's test appeared re cently In a paper of Vetseraas, Swed en. The advertisement read: "The public Is requested to leave the streets today between 11:30 and 12:3a Mar git Is getting her driver's license." Tbe notice waa signed with the name and address of Mnrglt't proud parents. Makes Life TM t Sweeter Next time a coated tongue, fetid breath, or acrid skin gives evidence of sour stomach try Phlltlpt Milk of Magnesia I Get acquainted with this perfect an-'' tl-ncld thut helps the system keen sound and sweet That every stomach-, needs at times. Take It whenever " hearty meal brings any discomfort Phillips Milk of Mugnesla has woe: medical endorsement. And convlncsd millions of men and women they didn't have "Indigestion." Don't diet and don't suffer; Just remember Phillips Pleasant to take, and always effective. The name Phillips Is important; It Identifies the genuine product "Milk, of Magnesia" bat been the U. S. regis-, 'j tered trade mark of the Charles H.,' Phillips Chemical Co. and Its pre-' decessor Charles H. Phillips since 187&, Milk s : of Magnesia SUFFERING ELIMINATED 15-years tuccets la treating Rectal and Colon troubles by ths Dr. C I. Dcaa nija-suitt.lt.AI. awflma t M a to ajn WRtTTtN AS. SLKA.NCE of PIUS FI.IMt. NATEU at FEE KKFUMMU). KmwI IttlM irm BUI. U HK1 U UPi Ya-snaananasannajnnnH RECTAL Mj COLON CUNlC 5?'iL'ift?ft7 ft&jar.'!?:5 W tST'O S Si Oregon & CaTifornia Directory Hotel Roosevelt On a PORTLAND'S Stmt All room bar shower or tub, B.iwap FlUf lOOf. til w. Park Su CoSa kbop. Uamra 'WW HOTEL WILTSHIRE, Sag Fr.rcisca 9St4Kt-Hiftt..li-r t'Bion lar SaltafSM rKANKI.VN SMITU. Maaaa-r Oatrld rwiiii nb talk. K r doable Omn mB with btb. u4 ta. St U aoab a InUbw e. He. K. tor; Ixdimi tfct; anadaf M Cll 11. EARN BIO MONEY jLuri KCW " bo t pid wii4 LActur wwkly tteolle?a Wrtlaforeataloe- MOI CO trariM os coLLieia W""1' rl SmM UtmI Pwliaa. Sia Pipe Valves, Fittings Pump Engines Farm Tools & Supplies ALASKA .JUNK CO. rirnt and Taylor Sts Portland, Oragoa HOTEL ROOSEVELT SAN FHAHCISCO't NCW F1M( HOT IX Brary ma with bath or thawm. (B.00 a Aaa, Jom at Eddy. Caran Bail doc. Ml SIC MI NlrAL INHTKt'MENTS Wrlta for aar mu-lt-al rataloaua and ana ht of music FKEK. Cvarythlna In must. FRANKLIN MUSIC HDt'KB II Nsw stmt . . . Nwark, M J, W. N. U, PORTLAND, NO. S4-192. The Canatie Critie The late Mrs. John W. Mai key wat none too fond of modern fash ions. At a luncheon In New York one day she nodded towards a beau tiful girl with bare arms, bare knee and so forth, then said grimly: ; "What walls would go up to heav en If it were poverty that made glrla wear so few clothes.'' i Levi Mrauss Comfort it yourt if you use Cuticiira TALCUM SMOOTH, purs, frrwt sod delicately medi ated, k sbeofbt excessive peapindoa and keeps your akin cool and refreshed. TalcsaiSc, soaplJc Ofamsni Ms. md yos. laotfia sack has, AMmi "Csjdtura." Dept. BT, laaldas. Mass.