OUR COMIC SECTION
"II ' tJ If-Wc. ISH 11 I I t If
1M6J
1JI i
" ' "
FINNEY OF THE FORCE
tAwlWfAPWS-l Q i MOW VlOToeiVO
THE FEATHERHEADS Staving Off the Contract-Seeker
I "V I I
Our Pet Peeve
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Special Instructions
ir vaoasT vun-
OMnV AVU5-
Just W
PREPARED FOR STORM
A lawyer who hud been married
mnnjr years Joined three friends In
stag pHi-tjr one night ;id arrived home
long after midnight Hit wife, wait
ing up fur lilm, had fallen asleep la
tit-r cluilr, but the wakened ai be
stepped Into the boue carrying
rained umbrella.
"What are yoo doing with that um
brella over your head la this rooraT
he demanded.
"I expect i itorm to break an; mlov
me, now," be answered.
WHOLESALE
"See that man. tie's one of the
turnout motion picture stars and
one of our beet customers.''
"You don't SBjf
"Yes, he hat standing ortler for
one dozen engagement rings per
month. " " .
Auditorial Charm '
Mr radio! ily radio)
I listen and rajolco.
Tour though! may be a trifle alow,
But (till I love your voice.
Not Quite the 8iggst
"1 detplse hjpocrltea. Take 8mltB
wn, for example j be's the biggest
hypocrite on earth."
"Hut you appear to be bit best
frleml
"(Hi, yet j I try to appear friendly
toward hhu. It pays better In the
end.'
A LIGHT BLOW
Judge You soy ycu struck your
buabnnd only a llttht blow. Where
did you hit him and with whati
Arrtiaed Lady On the bead with a
lamp, your honor.
It All D.peeda
I mint ba a douMe boy.
And not Ilka othar laddlaa;
Whan I'm sxd I'm mummy'i child.
But wbtn I'm bad I'm daddy's.
That'a What It Was
Mlas Jtmho I've wunted to know
you ever since yon moved Into the
bulldlnit. I wanted tn aak who It la
that pliiyt the anxophone so lovely In
your (Int.
Mis l.lttlcfliit We've got no anxo
phone there, hut ps snores something
awful.
Both la Search
Former Mnld You told my new
mint rem I was a thief. I can't find
words lo express by Indignation.
Former Mlmress And w can't And
six pnlr of stocking, two tablecloths
and eight towels. 1'iithflnder.
Slnila and Rick
Fentheintone I hud great luck this
morning. Found a 110 bill lo my hist
summer's suit.
Hockyford .Vol Why, 1 thought
you were married.
Than She Roaated Him
"Whnt't to be done about dlnnerr
demanded hit wife, looking around th
disorder of the enmp.
"Kverythlna, I hope," growled her
huthnnd, "for I butt half-cooked
stuff 1"
Claae Connections
Appleby That lawyer would tore
make n good tailor,
IMmiherly In what respectt
Appleby Well, ha hat so many
sultt ou bis bands.
Hope of Golden Future
Not Much Consolation
Baal Bran, a leading member of the
RusHlan committee that tins come to
America to spend Hfl,ooO,000 for au
tomobile trucks and tractors, said in
an Interview In New York. .
"Uuwila will get on her feet, If eap
Itul will only give her a fair deal. In
Kuisla we are hoping, and there's
nothing like hope to disappoint you,
Is tlieref
Mr. Dron laughed grimly and went
on:
"A friend of mine wat complaining
about the deul Itusxla gets from enp
Itnl. Another friend patted his shoul
der and snld: 'Cheer op, brother.
Somewhere behind the clouds the sun
Is shining.'
"'Yes,' sutd my friend, 'and some
where below the sea there's solid bot
tom, but whut good does that do to
the shipwrecked sailor who can't
SwlmT" Detroit Free Press,
Caie of Heredity
Algernon McCllntock, the noted ho
tel man. said st a banquet In Balti
more :
"Tonight Is the anniversary of the
birth of BrlllHt-Hnvnrln, the Imrnortnl
gourmet Brlllat-8avarln Inherited bis
love of good food. An aunt of his
died at the age of ninety-seven ss she
was finishing a rlcb eight-course din
ner In bed.
"'I feel that I am going,' snld the
old lady. 'Qalck, my dessert V
Coed St Nicholas
St Nicholas was the patron saint of
Russia, lie wat the bishop of Mvra
to f.ycla In the Fourth, century. Be
Is regarded at the patron saint of
merchants snd travelers by see and
land, but also especially of the yonng
and of scholars. Hence his festival.
December 6. was formerly celebrated
tn the English schools, and atlll sur
vives In the Santa Clans of Christian
rejoicings.
Yonng Tyrants
There seem to be as many spoiled
children as ever. It la remarkable
bow parenta will permit their children
to manage them to the detriment of
all concerned. Woman's Home Com
panion. Millions cow nse Rust Ball Blue.
Slakes clothes snowy white. Get the
genuine. Adv.
Quite Impoaaibla
"Land mikes there Mary! What's
all that noise lo the kltchenr
"Too don't expect me to break
three platters and two cups without
makln' a noise, do yuh?"
ChildrenGy
tar
CASTORIA
A BABY REMEDY
APPU0VED BY DOCTORS
i VOOUtOSnSTVWaM.Dugwnu j
Ask for
"TACK -UP"
Fly Catcher
Leading
Ribbon
Fly
Catcher
Rationally
oAdrtTtutd
doit
nr. na, ,a,
G rid of peaty fllra. Hant op orfeinal AF.ROXON
(pronounced A -Rock -Sou) Fly Catcher area
1 taak-1 ack Attach, rio tuaa no troublcThry
will catch thousand of flic lor a bkU. lum
upon gcttina ALKUXON Fly Cichr Iron you
daaier Sola lmportcra and Distributor for U.S. A
CRAEF A SANDKNOP, Edlna, Ma.
Public Fairly Warned
A warning to the public to keep oS
the streets while a young woman was
taking her driver's test appeared re
cently In a paper of Vetseraas, Swed
en. The advertisement read: "The
public Is requested to leave the streets
today between 11:30 and 12:3a Mar
git Is getting her driver's license." Tbe
notice waa signed with the name and
address of Mnrglt't proud parents.
Makes Life
TM t
Sweeter
Next time a coated tongue, fetid
breath, or acrid skin gives evidence
of sour stomach try Phlltlpt Milk of
Magnesia I
Get acquainted with this perfect an-''
tl-ncld thut helps the system keen
sound and sweet That every stomach-,
needs at times. Take It whenever "
hearty meal brings any discomfort
Phillips Milk of Mugnesla has woe:
medical endorsement. And convlncsd
millions of men and women they didn't
have "Indigestion." Don't diet and
don't suffer; Just remember Phillips
Pleasant to take, and always effective.
The name Phillips Is important; It
Identifies the genuine product "Milk,
of Magnesia" bat been the U. S. regis-, 'j
tered trade mark of the Charles H.,'
Phillips Chemical Co. and Its pre-'
decessor Charles H. Phillips since 187&,
Milk s :
of Magnesia
SUFFERING ELIMINATED
15-years tuccets la treating Rectal and
Colon troubles by ths Dr. C I. Dcaa
nija-suitt.lt.AI. awflma t
M a to ajn WRtTTtN AS.
SLKA.NCE of PIUS FI.IMt.
NATEU at FEE KKFUMMU).
KmwI IttlM irm BUI. U HK1
U UPi Ya-snaananasannajnnnH
RECTAL Mj COLON CUNlC
5?'iL'ift?ft7 ft&jar.'!?:5
W tST'O S
Si
Oregon & CaTifornia Directory
Hotel Roosevelt
On a PORTLAND'S Stmt
All room bar shower or tub, B.iwap FlUf lOOf.
til w. Park Su CoSa kbop. Uamra 'WW
HOTEL WILTSHIRE, Sag Fr.rcisca
9St4Kt-Hiftt..li-r t'Bion lar SaltafSM
rKANKI.VN SMITU. Maaaa-r
Oatrld rwiiii nb talk. K r doable
Omn mB with btb. u4 ta. St U aoab a
InUbw e. He. K. tor; Ixdimi tfct; anadaf M
Cll 11. EARN BIO MONEY
jLuri KCW " bo t pid wii4
LActur wwkly tteolle?a Wrtlaforeataloe-
MOI CO trariM os coLLieia
W""1' rl SmM UtmI Pwliaa. Sia
Pipe Valves, Fittings
Pump Engines
Farm Tools & Supplies
ALASKA .JUNK CO.
rirnt and Taylor Sts Portland, Oragoa
HOTEL ROOSEVELT
SAN FHAHCISCO't NCW F1M( HOT IX
Brary ma with bath or thawm. (B.00 a Aaa,
Jom at Eddy. Caran Bail doc.
Ml SIC MI NlrAL INHTKt'MENTS
Wrlta for aar mu-lt-al rataloaua and ana
ht of music FKEK. Cvarythlna In must.
FRANKLIN MUSIC HDt'KB
II Nsw stmt . . . Nwark, M J,
W. N. U, PORTLAND, NO. S4-192.
The Canatie Critie
The late Mrs. John W. Mai key
wat none too fond of modern fash
ions. At a luncheon In New York
one day she nodded towards a beau
tiful girl with bare arms, bare knee
and so forth, then said grimly: ;
"What walls would go up to heav
en If it were poverty that made glrla
wear so few clothes.'' i
Levi Mrauss
Comfort it yourt if you use
Cuticiira
TALCUM
SMOOTH, purs, frrwt sod delicately medi
ated, k sbeofbt excessive peapindoa and
keeps your akin cool and refreshed.
TalcsaiSc, soaplJc Ofamsni Ms. md yos.
laotfia sack has,
AMmi "Csjdtura." Dept. BT, laaldas. Mass.