Image provided by: Morrow County Museum; Heppner, OR
About The Ione independent. (Ione, Or.) 1916-19?? | View Entire Issue (July 5, 1929)
Scraps HOW TO LIVE LONGER OUR COMIC SECTION I JOHN CLARENCE FUNK Events in the Live of Little Men mMu ftr. THE FEATHERHEADS Something to Look Forward to qut,ifii,ouN m MiotikK I? 8f 05.1- (UDUDI Vt I AOS WV? (uSSDIeMWvtfl AVtOStOW hmI - ui usr "ZZ7XL I I MtaVCHMPM W I yoo uhsnt oQ- fc- f I 6wooi t ivR. wr 11 I sKf oa Wy-. f i f 1 I KICK OOTA ISM4 7 . i fj I hr t tHn ltswsi Oil FINNEY OF THE FORCE A Business Proposal PROGRESS "Well, tills was s peat day In ths history of our Institution," said ths president of Uis bunk, ss be met bis wife. Tell me about It, dear." "The board of directors voted unan imously to double the size of the bank ing room so that we ran have 2a brum 'next-window' slifns, 10 mors than any other bank Id the state I" DEADLY ROMANCE 0! Knew Nothing Mors Powerful The Lswyer Of course, my dear madam, the great thing In a case of this sort Is to Introduce something In to the evidence that will apieal to ths Jury. Client Oh, I shall change my areas every day. WHY HE WAS NOT KILLED 1 f n HCKiM'oAUTtlJ iMAM.LUCUVfy VW.MSO M4T M SMAOT I J vouau wwii vou'as V as I toosmT voo was, 1 A vJoaXiW'uiSMWS- L'' VUJSSI--A COOKS ,tw. I Ql V WiKHC 7 V I fcsXAUV t AlNYstfHuT- fur8' Cr N V TiM TO 00 UTH M AtKV fcuTSoMS dtwntMiw " ill 7 I J VtW ' A tuStNUS OS m NATUB6, f V, I nMIV COPPtC. J visabm' sbass ftoTuwS wiw y -y- Ull I cip C3C: V, tcT () WMMra Nwappr tbs She And you Jutnned from the bal loon 7 Heavens, why were you Dot kllledT He Ths balloon hadn't left ground. Dueling Old outline h pu4 wiy. No man etucki brother. Conttndcn r content, today. To echo, 'You're nothrl" Already Supplied Angellns No, Edwin, I never thought of tou In that way. But I U be s sis ter to yon. Edwin No, thanks I I bave slater who swipes my clcarettes. socks, ties. and frat pins, snd I csn't sfTord s other. NB sftcrnoon recently a man drove bis family Into the coua try. It was a beautiful day, spring was arlts best, and ths trip was a Joyful success. Around noontime the picnic luncb was spread Dear an old stons walled spring, tiers on the back road the romance of days gone by when father had been a boy on the farm, returned to life. And the water so sparkling, snd so clear 1 Now for the other side of the pic ture. Two weeks later the parents and the two children became sick. Three weeks later all of them bad cons through serious Illness, the youngest child nnsuccesnfully. The romance bad been sttractlvs but me unseen typhoid germs had got In their work. Things at ths spring bad not been what they seemed to be. City dwellers take pure, clear and safe water as a matter of course. Aren't they paying taxes snd water hills for Just that thing? Very well, anil very logical. But many orhaolt forget that at the city line the nitra tion plant and Its Intelligent over teers cease to function. It therefore does Dot pay to become too entbusl sstlc over the old oaken bucket, the spring by the wsyslde snd the antique pump. Quite true, some states, but Dy no means sll of them, snnually check op on the highway water supplies on the main traveled roads for the protec tion of the motoring public. They even placard ss "Safe" or "Unsafe" every Individual source of supply that Is likely to serve the passing auomo- blllst But even to these careful Juris dictions the by-roads In sll pmbabll Ity will be missed. Better go thirsty, therefore. If the romantic water sup- piles cannot present clear proof of their safety. In this connection, a word to conn try dwellers. Have your individual supply checked annually by a recog nized laboratory. A small money out lay will be necessary but It's notb Ing compared to doctor bills or funer al expenses. In addition, obtain and study the literature published by yoar state department of health on this most Important subject Don't take any chances on your water supply do matter bow good It looks or tastes. Acting upon this advice may save Ulness and even death. A DOZEN different things ma cause a headache, but there a Just one thin)? you need ever do to get relict, liayer Aspirin is an absolute antidote for such pain. Keep it at the office. Have it handy In the home. Those subject to fre quent or sudden headaches should carry Bayer Aspirin in the pocket tin. Until you have uses' it for head aches, colds, neuralgia, etc, you va no idea how Bayer Aspirin can help. It means quick, complete relief to millions of men and women wno nse it every year. And it does not depress the heart. SPIRIN Ami' u th trmda of B7 Vmfjt Farm Clubt Crew The 4-H club movement, which baa grown with leaps and bounds sines Its lnceptlsn a few years sgo, took an other great step forward during 1928, according to the tabulation of county agents' reports, made at ths Depart ment of Agriculture. An Increase of 47.000 members over 1027 Indicated la the total figure of 600,000. The esti mated total of those who will com plete their work during ths coming year Is slso about 47,000 over last year's figure. QUACK, QUACK Upitaadint Eicua Mother (at dinner table) Jonnny, sre you sure you wsshed your faeel It doesn't look tike Uiat wben l wsso IL Johnny Well, mother, If 1 robbed It aa hard as you do I d push myself over. WOULDN'T COUNT "I'd sttend your church If there wasn't such s buncb of crooks In the eongregstlon." "You shouldn't let that stop you one mora wouiun i oe uouceu, i m sura" Juit So A woman cannot drive a nail, Sh haa a better plan. h haa no nd to drive a nail Wben ah can drive a man. . The High Coat The Tecs-Awful, ain't It, ths way apartment rrnts bave gone up? The Din II s a sname. reiiy lar ceny wool gel you nowneru. iu goita lift at lonst a coupia centuries before they'll give you a cell In Ui JulL Know His Bualneas "Is he s good rabbit dogr Inquired lbs hunter. "HI say he Is!" the dealer replied vlth pride. "You should have seen the way he went after my wife's new sealskin coat!" Family Avocation "Is Miss Kreda at bonier "No. she la out on her horse." "Is Mrs. Smith InT "No, she Is dying ths Atlantic" "Is Mr. Smith Inr "No, bs Is st the cookery class." Vlw. It Views "Tou can gul some mighty Interest Ins vli-vts from the tops of our moun tains," sn I (I the visitor from Colorado, "Well." replied the City Host, "you can also get sums mighty Interesting ones st our wlmly comers, too." Juitificatiou The Artlt-Thls statue Is "The Disk Thrower." Wonderfully Ufellks Dose I The Other Fellow Tep I I reckon thnt disk Is one 0" thetn Jrss records Uou'l blume blui a bit for chucking IU THE barefaced assnmptlon of scientific superiority displayed by quacks should be snougb to settle snyone. Add to this ths studio por traits of the wizards themselves, and the last vestige of appeal should be gone. Cut, somehow, the thing works Just ths other way. The ability to toot their own boms Is their only merit Having tailed In the ethical practice of their profes sionsmedical or dental. If. Indeed, tbey possess even tbese qualifications these egotistical gentry purchase pace In newspspers (when they ran) snd to this manner brazenly admit to the world that tbey bave beaten It, In cluding all the scientists snd leaders of their chosen celling. Thus they sre able to effect marvelous and hith erto unknown cures for as low as a dollar down I Which, It must be con fessed. Is low Indeed. And so It comes to pass that hun dreds of thousands of dollars annual ly are expended by people who still believe In fairy stories. If this was all there was to It, possibly no objec tion would be made. If a fellow wants to throw bis money sway, that's bis business. But when It comes to throw ing health away, then the matter as sumes public Importance and a warn Ing Is quite Justifiable. la all fairness, quacks sometimes cure people. But their main Interest usually la In tbs money tbey can ex tract not In the amount of health they can bestow. As a matter of fact, many Instances sre on record where a physical condition haa been aggravated for the sola purpose of prolonging the cure. Indeed, sometimes the outlook as stated by this particular brand or medico has been so unpleusnntly (and untruthfully) tragic that the patient upon hearing the verdict has straight way left the otnee snd committed sui cide! The legitimate medical profession, oa the other hand, Is the foundation of the nation's health. Each comma nlty has Its share of honest, well-In formed and experienced practitioners. Whst mors do you ocedl Can you afford less! If you are looking, therefore, for "value received" snd health, don't make friends with the quacks. (A ISSS. WMlin Ntmpaptr Bnloa.1 Following Stars Wise men sre slways doing what ths Maid In ths Gospel story did. They sre always following stars. . It Is this following of at ii rl Ike Ideals, Ideals of truth, Ideals of honor, Ideals of duty, which Invests our common life with dignity and meaning. Poor Mother "The street car service Is rotten, Always overcrowded." "Yes. but fnther, you got a seat. didn't youT" "Yes. but your poor mother bsd to stand all the way." Acidity The common cause of digestive diflV rultles la excess acid. Soda cannot alter tbla condition, and It burns tut stomach. Something that will neu tralize the acidity Is the sensible thing to take. That Is why physicians tell the pubUc to use Phillips Milk of Magnesia. One spoonful of this delightful prep aration can neutralize many times Its volume In acid. It acts Instantly; re lief Is quick, and very appsrent All gas Is dispelled; all sourness Is soon gone; the whole system Is sweetened. Do try this perfect antl-seld, and re member It la Just as good for children, too, and pleasant for them to take. Any drug atore has ths genuine, pre scriptions! product. PHILLIPS r Milk , of Magnesia yon Owe Unaolveu Quoatioa Driving Instructor Weu, do understand the car nowf Beginner Perfectly. There's only one thing 1 ahould like to ask: Do you put the water and ths gasoline In the same hole! A man may strongly sdvocata free speech for others without necessarily caring to listen to It. WILL DO ALL IT CLAIMS TO DO BMiaMi aM Mrs. Steele Says of Lydu E. Pink haim'a Vegetable Compound Pratt, W. Va. "I was so weak and nervous that I was In bsd most all the tuns and coudni sit up and I ant only 30 years old. I saw your adver tising In ft mags slns and after I bad taken three dosas of Lydla H. Plnkham'a Vege table Compound I could feel that I was better. After taking two bottles I besan doing tor work and I feel like a ssw woman, t recommend ths Vegetable Compound to my friends and say It will do all It claims to do and more. I will gladly; snswer all letters I receive." Mao. 8. EL Steels, Pratt. W. Va, "' ' ii re 1