Image provided by: Morrow County Museum; Heppner, OR
About The Ione independent. (Ione, Or.) 1916-19?? | View Entire Issue (May 2, 1929)
1 ItMayBe1 LIFE'S LITTLE OUR COMIC SECTION Jlwm JESTS D 0 Our Pet Peeve THREE 80NCS 1 fr,vj-'""SN V) V IT'S folly to luffer lone from ncu rilli, neuralgia, or headaches when relief li iwift and lure, with Bayer Aiplrln. For a8 year the medical profusion hai recommended It. It doei not affect tha heart Take it for coldi, rheumatism, aclatlca. lumbago. Gargle it for a lore throat ' or toniilitia. Proven directioni lor ill many uiei, in every package. All drug itorei have genuine Bayer Aipirin which it readily identified lr tha name on tha box and tha Bayer croii on every tablet. rvASPIRIN J ft t lin Wuinhetan af S,MirHairM V - W ' -J. WELL OR MONEY BACK Vr HI aMariaMad er I ritaadi d-fc la ttKJnt.N A!M IM ANCR pit M adaihiUlte- taiaUMll.C.ll k,l nut Sod at t,h wat ItM kv m acfealMlvl KiaurkinW wirtM alto wtlk SllMlMrUliMlCalriiiallnnlt. tadTOl)AYkm.K IO Mat am e,tla and k A ll ma: i COLON CLINIC fiHMaiaBalllilllBHIBBHj ' Ea.la Half a Black Lang ' Designed especially to burn a grade of coal of comparatively low-heating value, huiie engine constructed fur the Northern Pacific railway la 121 feet long, weighs more than t.om.OiS) poundt and bna 84 wheel. Including the 1- on the tender, says Popular Me chanics Mngaxlne. An Interewllng fea ture la I ho merhanlral atoker which will crush, deliver, and distribute about the huge firebox, more than 22 ton i of eoul an hour. It le expected that the locomotive will I able to Baal, In one train, cart that are now made up Into two. . raliity white drewea for baby or dnuithter maitp beautiful by Ituaa Hall Blue. Tonr tlnm-r hai It. Adv. Monkey Lot a Homa A Detroit woman going south want ed to give her net monkey to the I1 trolt Zoological park, (the railed the director but when John T. Mlllen antd be could not promlne a dully "lint wa ter arid ennp bath" the monkey owner Indignantly hung up the telephone with the remark, "('lennllneaa la next to (loOtlnc even for a monkey." No man ran tell all he kno; poo pie walk away. Makes Life Sweeter Next time coated tongue, fetid brentli, or acrid akin gives evidence of sour stomach try Phillips Milk of Ifngnenlii I tlet acqnnlnted with this perfect an llacld tlmt helps tha ayatein keep sound nnd sweet. Tlmt every atomnob needa nt times. Tuke It whenever hearty moul brlngi any discomfort Phillips Milk of lluguealu hns won iihhHciiI endorsement. And convinced millions of men nnd women they didn't have "IndlKOMtlon," Iwn't diet, nnd don't euffer; Juat remember Phllllpa, I'lenannt to tnke, and always effective. The name I'hllltpa la Important; It Identifies the genuine product "Milk i f Magnesia" hat been the U. 8. regis tered trade, mark of the Charles It Phillip Chemical Co. and Ita pre I'xccMor Charles II. Phllllpa glnre 1878 PHILLIPS JT Milk . of Magnesia jf, i a . r iimrm A teacher asked ber puplla to bring to school objects tliut represented song. One boy brought an apple, anoth er hniiuna, and a third an old whip. Whin aong doee the apple rcpre- eentr inked tha teacher. "In the Shade of That Old Apple Tree." "What does the bnnona represent T "Yes, We Have No Bananas." . "And what doea the whip repre sent r Thanks fur the Buggy RIdo." The Progressive Grocer. Not Guilty Judge Tou admit you entered thli house by the rear door at two o'clock In the morning. What bualneae bad yon there at that time of night T I'rlaoner I thought It win my own hnuae. Judge Then why did you, when thli hid approached, leap through the window, Jump Into tha cittern and hlile yourself? Primmer I thought aha wul my wife. IRRESISTIBLE JANE He June Is Irresistible. She I never put up much resist ance, either. Obligation Tha morklnatlre allll tomti along. And Ida promlae of ions I f4 Mm, an4 tha dabt ka'll Day Wild olda melody, aoma in. Tka Real Raatoa "Klolne," said her nnither, "yon know you muatnt cry about a bump like that" little "I know It," admitted the little one. "Then why do you do HT "Hi'caune Mary ajmperflted wlf me." Would Make Him Laagk lrry Every lime I look at your new dress, It nmkea me laugh. - Annie All right I'll put It on when Hie bill cornea, A WET HEN AND MAD Men I actually believe those fool durki enjoy this dlaguatlng mini Barbae Shop Fragraace Ha ta ma If I'd klai him. I klawd htm onco or Iwlca. I nriw I hadn't ought lo. Uut, oh, sa, ha amalltd ao nleet No Reaaoa for Objecting North-lNin't yuu agreed that apeed la the vurae of America! Weal No, I can't any I do. I'm an tnalallment collector iuuruware nnd Implement Journal. Humaa Nature Ills VYIfo-Wcll, If when the phone rings at two o'clock In the morning you ure so certuln the exchange girl la culling the wrong number, why get up lo uiiHWer It! lllm-llecauae If I don't It la sure to turn nut to be a reully Important cull for me. Would Carry Him Away flcorge Some tunea cun carry me away. (linn Inl the plnno)-Tell me one uud I will piny It with great plenaure. Sound Attract! Mr. Benubnied Going lo Klssengen for revreutlon, they tell me. Why to thnt little llnvurtnn resort of Invalid! und ncurnrthenlcsl MUi Vellowlenf Oh, I don't know anything shout Klssengen, but I rut her liked the nntne. Asking the Impdulble Mrs. Faraway Tour wife goes In for the occult, does she noli Mr. Newcomer 8he win Interested until they wanted ber to go Into the illvnre. Then she gave tl up. m SL-EL THE FEATHERHEADS X yOMrKtK-WUJ.SbO . X-rtAl-ww-W.-- S. XIMTIKlAlU HAQfiCT Wrtlll f t mciOO A POETTV CtOOD Wi.L-VtS 7 I CO HILP ACMAOA ?-- y ,rW rgW-ABfl W 7 1 . Miir": 1 15) v yyy I r?yvV --y tvu.tr I TviD uc nx I I I -WVi f-t- VJJWV Btl 1 If UXKE JWI 1 I . I IIS r .A wioboTofi UeootoQMe.fe ; nv . t I-JTL. -V 01WTOltUu I s TLi DOWN!- IIFJr FINNEY OF THE FORCE Michael Asks After Snoop i u. i KvvtSsCM i rwn III - f wring iwMWeac.ittoM ra-, -S-JkL -TaV?aM"0v ' S ,-VwAiki MiwtaN ft uSTJ'Jjll CjJiiMsLefi M VK- XtTN a7 JL Uk I - TV VWJ I " iiT t li m Tai jT I WmUts Ntwicwpar TJalos ' . " " ' 1 1 v-vj, I 1 V y-w Ck W - --';--iaV i . i i I I II laaj .al The Joke Boomerangs When your Children Ciy for It Caatorla la a comfort when Baby It fretful No eooner taken than the Uttle one ia at ease. If restless, a few drops won bring contentment No harm done, tor Caatorla la a baby remedy, meant tor babies. Perfectly aafe to give the youngest Infant ; yoa have the doctors' word for that I It is a vegetable pro duct and yon could use It every day. But It'a In an emergency that Caatorla means moat Some night when consti pation must be relieved or colic pains or other suffering. Never be without t ; some mothers keep an extra bottle, unopened, to make sure there will al waya be Caatorla In the bouse. It Is effective for older children, too; read the book that comes with It lift No PoTorty ia Norway Though a relatively poor country, Norway haa virtually no poverty, al though there la no great wealth. About 95 er cent of the furmers owa their land, but the farms are generally small. A unique law makes It pos- ' Bible for a farmer or his descendants to repurchnse his prierty within certain time limit If circumstances) have forced him to diapoae of It Every day 10,000 women boy a I bottle of Lydi E. Finkham'a Vege table Compound. They know UuU there is nd better remedy for their troublesome ailments with their accompanying nervoumeaa, back ache, headache, "blue" spells, ana rundown condition. k15F "JIT mm 3i . ti mm jOC' India Child Burial Two child burlnls have been unrov- tred In the prehistoric Indian ruins of the WuptakI National monument In Arlions. Jesse C. Oarke, cuModlan f the reservation, who made the ex ravatlnns, repons that In one hartal cradle board was lying over tha body, which bore a shell necklace and was accompanied by three pieces of pottery. in the other burial the cradle boara woe underneath the body. Four pots were fouud In It Both burials bad been wrapped In matting, but molstur had crept In and spoiled It so that on ly a small piece could be salvaged. The poor custom tailor Is likely to breed bud habits. DR. CALDWELL'S THREE RULES Dr. Caldwell watched tit results of eonitipstioa for 47 years, and believed that no matter how careful people are of their health, diet and eiorciw, eoa tinstion will occur from time to tine. 01 next importance, then, ia how to trci it when it comes. Dr. Caldwell alwa was in favor of getting a clone to nmUir. as noMible, hence his remedy for eouli pation ia a mild vegetable compound. It can not harm tha moat delicate aystrm and ii not habit forming. Hi Doctor never did apnrovi of drat- tie phytic and purge. II did not believe they were goou ior num&a ceinir w iui Into their (vstem. Us Syrup I'eptia for yourself and members of th family in comtipntlon, biliousness, sour and crampy stomach, bad breath, no appetite, head erhea, and to break up fevers and eoldn.. Get a bottle today, at any drugitore aa observe these three rules of htaltht Krff th head cool, the feet warm, th bow I open. For a free trial bottle, Junt writ "Svrup Pepsin," Kept BB, UoaticeUe, Ullnou. rt'M