Image provided by: Morrow County Museum; Heppner, OR
About The Ione independent. (Ione, Or.) 1916-19?? | View Entire Issue (Dec. 21, 1928)
Bouquet With String. ' Music was prohibited during certulu hours In the precincts of the college, but ime undergraduate found the tax iilioiie niorc engrossing thnn tits studios. Next day he received a note from (he higher mitliorlty : "Much against m.v bolter Judgment, and foi the purposes of discipline only, I am cnmiellod to regard your saxophons playing as music." Christian Register. Bait for Pulpwood.' Pulp wood fur making paper can be grown In from 20 to 30 years or more, pays the American Tree association of 'Washington. Some very prolllatile plantations of Norway spruce, white spruce and red spruce have been grown for pulpwood In this length of time, Spruce makes the best Wind of wood for pnper pulp. Embarrassed His Mather, Mrs. K. M. writes"! wus enter taluing friends. Including the minister, at Sunday dinner. The gravy bowl was nearly empty, and as I left the table to re II 1 1 It, my little son ex claimed, Hive me some more gravy, ma, before you water It.' "Boston Transcript. Burdens Adjuited. I am persuaded no burden beyond human endurance Is ever lutd upon our shoulders, provided we use the strength that Is ours to sustain tt. rather than a vain mid rebellious ef fort to rid ourselves of the Inevl table. Judge Charles Forrest Moore The Child's Choice. We reckon If a kid could choose his own mother It wouldn't take him long to make the choice between one who could bake cookies and one who al ways knew what kind of bid to make when she had two five-card suits. Ciuclunatl Knqulier. Origin of Bedlam. It was liedlara Incarnate" Is fre quent expression to denote turmoil. The expression had Its origin In the name nf the Hethlem madhouse In Lon don, Cockney English pronounced the name "Bedlam" Instead of "I'ethlem." The Inveterate Fan. "These cooking experts are always writing about thick batter," said the mere male reader of Woman's Home Companion. "Anybody knows the best batter In professional baseball Is a thick batter." Esamine Thoroughly. It Is best to look at the bright side of anything, but tf it happens to be something you are expected to buy turn It over and tuke a squint at the other side. I-os Angeles Times. A Definition. Americanism Wanting somebody else to run the government because you haven't time; kicking because It Is run by men who have time to spare. Los Angeles Times. Bait. Possibly under television the lonely wife can lure the errant spouse borne evenings, by holding i banana cream pie In front of the transmitter. De troit News. Quite Unimportant. After ml lege graduule goes forth to conquer the world he bas t bar) time getting the world to pay any attention to him. Des Moines Regis ter. Relative Happiness. "We who (lew kites." said HI Ho the sage of Chinatown "were we not happier In our modest way thnn these who fly airships?" Washington Star. Ecstaiy. "Yes, beloved !" New life came to me when first I met you even my watch started running after having been still for hulf a your. Laugh and Be Healthy. Laughter Is a most healthful exr-r clce; it Is one of the greatest helps to digestion with which I am acquaint-l-d. l'octor lliifehmd. Eve's Changrs. "Times have altered. The women of today are not what they used to he." True; they used to be girls. London Answers. Worth Remembering. Monej can't buy everything, but It can buy more comforts for the old than It can buy enjoyments for the young. Golden Argosy. Approximately t'2.ii.mm) In car goes sail through San Francisco's (jolden gate each year. A' VJX X - - " M V B as. ... 1 M i,r atil'l a a IV ' 'I :-mmm WELL OR MONEY BACK Vnur Pilot eliminated or fee refunded lithe V, KIT1 tN ASSUI AM.E wc give In admlnliltr- ma we l)r. c. j. Dean fanvxit ncjn-turijkal method of treat. Intnl. (Ilu-d by lit ticlutivclv) Hrmarl4hlf luccell alio with other Mertal and Lol'in ailments, ScndTOIMYforrKKK 100- pa D.Hik giving; details and n r a t.n hunnrrilti nllrttimonlitli. tt LUALWCOlWaiMt ponTlAMll J. r. AT T LK OUR COMIC SECTION p-p . 1 .... ip Along the Concrete ; 9 ( GET YOUR LAJ U0 N Hllfi&$ , OUT OF y,A yJ'T) (y5XUNDERHIM(V 0 THE FEATHERHEADS A$t s-i''' - or' wst' SVS J fYELF.'- ) 8HH KHPm t!- ( I (UiVHA JJlT GOT OUT Cr-Tst I FINNEY OF THE FORCE hi j . f 'fim so'ii o Ms 'j wi Jtfiiiee i i n una i And Not a Cop in Sight Snoop Pranks Andy OF COURSE Now (hat balanced mid matched sett of golf cluhs are In general use, we may expect dialogues like the follow ing to occur wherever the gams Is played : "Hey, Joe, what did you milks It la today 1" "Shot a M." "Way off your giiine, eh?" "No, I've got to take my clubs to the service station and huva them properly tuned." What McCrab Wanted. McOrah was Interviewing his In tended father -In-law, 'I've come to nk you for your daughter's hand," ho said. "All right," siild the old gentleman: "that's Ihed, then." "Po her diamond rings go with ItT asked McCrnli, nnilmiily. WOULD RISK IT The chaperon lias Jut told lb girls she thought those horrid boys were telling risque Jokes. Distinguished Disturbance. Mow often hialnry will irn-llm riotite one to pMre averse. Who, when aPalra are ll, rinds fame 11 making niallera wurae! Ancient History Rerised. first I'atrun (In bnrtM-r shop) If tVlllab of Suiiisoii and iH'lllah fume were to come back she'd make a for tune these days, wouldn't she? Second I'utron In what respect. First L'ulron Wasn't she the Unit lady barber? Bull o' the Woods. "Here, what's the big Idea chuckln' the bricks down sa fust as I bring 'em up?" "It's all right the boss keeps pauln' underneath.1' "(Hi, yes, accidents will happen, won't theyT DON'T MISS THIS Ho (Introducing) This young tndy bas Just bwn elected to the tower house of congress. '.it Ah, a Miss representative, 1 see. Wasted Sentiment; "I cannot llm Ihe old pihiks," He walled. The losa la small. He tries the new and this proves . true ' lie ranool ulnar t "" i Would Do His Share, , "Look tier, I Mint 1 1 I'M t ybu l pay your own bill," an Id a father Who had been considerably iiiinoyuj by bis son's extravagant liublts. "Certainly, dad," replied the youth. "I don't exMct you to run nhoiil see ing my tailor und so on. Just leave a check on the tuble for me this morn lug mid I'll see to everything myself I" Stray Stories. Shorter Short Story. "Unmarried?'' "Vea twlee Makes Many Knots. ' "Yes,' llil" Utile boat makes I'll knots nil holirl" sold (he motor boat owner, as they plowed through Ilia waves. Kin on!" gasped bis pretty com pinmn. "What a lot of rope- you must use! Hut tell mo who unties them ull?" - ' Pa Knew. "Pn, what Is a yes man?" asked ('liirence, "It's a htishiind, son, whose siinppy romebiiek to bis wife's orders Is 'Yes mum," replied bis find. i , j WienFood Sours tots of folks who think they hftv "Indigestion" linvs only an add condU tlon which could bo corrected In firs) or ten minutes. Ao effective nntl ticlil Ilk Phillips Milk of Magnesia goon restores digestion to normal, Phillips docs away with all that sourness not gns riaoi ain-r mt-uiM. av prevents me utstress an npt in occur two hours after eating. What I pless- ant preparation to tuke I And ho , good It Is for the system! I'nllU a burning doso of indn-whlcb la but.' temporary relief at best Phillips, Milk of Magnesia neutralizes many times Its volume In acid. ' Next time a hearty tneiil, or too rich) diet bas brought on tb least dis comfort, try PHILLIPS IT Milk s ofMaignesia made HANFORD'S "IT m Balsam of Myrrh IT MUST Bat GOOD Try it for Cud, Bruliri, Sorti, etc aauWIead to neaad rear an I tw lit Immune). When Hob l(o)er cntoe bark from uimner at the "Y" rnmp In Creen valley, be suddenly dlsctivrrel that little vamp had picked on him, and fluttered around continuously. "You'd belter look out for that one," advised I frleiiiL "Kite's gut the rep of being a regular gold digger," Then all I'vt got to any Is that she's a darned poor geologt," de clared Hob l.os Angeles Tliues. Wilt Cold Worry, You ThW Winter? Pome men throu-olT a cold within few boure-of roiilriictliig It. Anymis ran do It with the aid of a simple com pound which comes in tublet form, and Is no trouble to tnke or to aluays nnve. nbotit you. I'on't "dope" your self when you catch cold; tie l'uto's Cold 'iumioiiiiiI. Men and women everywhere rely on this nmnxlng little fnblet.-Adv. Thai's Not Nice. "I never worry about my huslmnd pnylng attention to other women be g rrnr.y about me." "Hut perhaps he has lucid Intervals." Tlt-Hlta. - . Folks that are eit'avngnnt In ev. erythlng else are often too atlugy of the words In a liiirgntiii, It May B e Vrntm fit ... m ' rA A.v'.,t U'lTj.V.:', 7AA .M Children Cry for It Cnslorln Is a rnmrort tvhen r.nby U fretful. No sooner taken than the little one la at ease. If restless, a few drops soon bring contentment. No harm done for Castorlii Is a baby remedy, meant for bublea. Perfectly anfo to give the youngiHt Infant; you have Ilia doctors' word for that I It Is a vegetable pro duct and you could use It every day. Hut It's In Ml emergency that Castorla means most. Home night when constl pntlon must be relieved or collo pains or other suffering. Never be without It ; some mothers keep nn extra bottle, nnopened, to make sure there will al ways bo Castorla In the house. It Is -ffertlve for older children, too; read ihe book that comes with It. afyriVV m my
