Bouquet With String.
' Music was prohibited during certulu
hours In the precincts of the college,
but ime undergraduate found the tax
iilioiie niorc engrossing thnn tits
studios. Next day he received a note
from (he higher mitliorlty : "Much
against m.v bolter Judgment, and foi
the purposes of discipline only, I am
cnmiellod to regard your saxophons
playing as music." Christian Register.
Bait for Pulpwood.'
Pulp wood fur making paper can be
grown In from 20 to 30 years or more,
pays the American Tree association of
'Washington. Some very prolllatile
plantations of Norway spruce, white
spruce and red spruce have been
grown for pulpwood In this length of
time, Spruce makes the best Wind of
wood for pnper pulp.
Embarrassed His Mather,
Mrs. K. M. writes"! wus enter
taluing friends. Including the minister,
at Sunday dinner. The gravy bowl
was nearly empty, and as I left the
table to re II 1 1 It, my little son ex
claimed, Hive me some more gravy,
ma, before you water It.' "Boston
Transcript.
Burdens Adjuited.
I am persuaded no burden beyond
human endurance Is ever lutd upon
our shoulders, provided we use the
strength that Is ours to sustain tt.
rather than a vain mid rebellious ef
fort to rid ourselves of the Inevl
table. Judge Charles Forrest Moore
The Child's Choice.
We reckon If a kid could choose his
own mother It wouldn't take him long
to make the choice between one who
could bake cookies and one who al
ways knew what kind of bid to make
when she had two five-card suits.
Ciuclunatl Knqulier.
Origin of Bedlam.
It was liedlara Incarnate" Is fre
quent expression to denote turmoil.
The expression had Its origin In the
name nf the Hethlem madhouse In Lon
don, Cockney English pronounced the
name "Bedlam" Instead of "I'ethlem."
The Inveterate Fan.
"These cooking experts are always
writing about thick batter," said the
mere male reader of Woman's Home
Companion. "Anybody knows the best
batter In professional baseball Is a
thick batter."
Esamine Thoroughly.
It Is best to look at the bright side
of anything, but tf it happens to be
something you are expected to buy
turn It over and tuke a squint at the
other side. I-os Angeles Times.
A Definition.
Americanism Wanting somebody
else to run the government because
you haven't time; kicking because It
Is run by men who have time to spare.
Los Angeles Times.
Bait.
Possibly under television the lonely
wife can lure the errant spouse borne
evenings, by holding i banana cream
pie In front of the transmitter. De
troit News.
Quite Unimportant.
After ml lege graduule goes forth
to conquer the world he bas t bar)
time getting the world to pay any
attention to him. Des Moines Regis
ter. Relative Happiness.
"We who (lew kites." said HI Ho
the sage of Chinatown "were we not
happier In our modest way thnn these
who fly airships?" Washington Star.
Ecstaiy.
"Yes, beloved !" New life came to
me when first I met you even my
watch started running after having
been still for hulf a your.
Laugh and Be Healthy.
Laughter Is a most healthful exr-r
clce; it Is one of the greatest helps
to digestion with which I am acquaint-l-d.
l'octor lliifehmd.
Eve's Changrs.
"Times have altered. The women of
today are not what they used to he."
True; they used to be girls. London
Answers.
Worth Remembering.
Monej can't buy everything, but It
can buy more comforts for the old
than It can buy enjoyments for the
young.
Golden Argosy.
Approximately t'2.ii.mm) In car
goes sail through San Francisco's
(jolden gate each year.
A'
VJX X - - " M V B
as. ... 1 M i,r atil'l a a IV ' 'I
:-mmm
WELL OR MONEY BACK
Vnur Pilot eliminated or fee refunded lithe
V, KIT1 tN ASSUI AM.E wc give In admlnliltr-
ma we l)r. c. j. Dean fanvxit
ncjn-turijkal method of treat.
Intnl. (Ilu-d by lit ticlutivclv)
Hrmarl4hlf luccell alio with
other Mertal and Lol'in ailments,
ScndTOIMYforrKKK 100-
pa D.Hik giving; details and
n r a t.n
hunnrrilti nllrttimonlitli.
tt LUALWCOlWaiMt
ponTlAMll J. r. AT T LK
OUR COMIC SECTION
p-p . 1 .... ip
Along the Concrete ;
9 ( GET YOUR LAJ U0 N Hllfi&$
, OUT OF y,A yJ'T) (y5XUNDERHIM(V 0
THE FEATHERHEADS
A$t s-i''' - or'
wst' SVS J
fYELF.'- ) 8HH KHPm t!- ( I
(UiVHA JJlT GOT OUT Cr-Tst I
FINNEY OF THE FORCE
hi j . f 'fim so'ii o Ms 'j wi Jtfiiiee i i n una i
And Not a Cop in Sight
Snoop Pranks Andy
OF COURSE
Now (hat balanced mid matched sett
of golf cluhs are In general use, we
may expect dialogues like the follow
ing to occur wherever the gams Is
played :
"Hey, Joe, what did you milks It la
today 1"
"Shot a M."
"Way off your giiine, eh?"
"No, I've got to take my clubs to
the service station and huva them
properly tuned."
What McCrab Wanted.
McOrah was Interviewing his In
tended father -In-law,
'I've come to nk you for your
daughter's hand," ho said.
"All right," siild the old gentleman:
"that's Ihed, then."
"Po her diamond rings go with ItT
asked McCrnli, nnilmiily.
WOULD RISK IT
The chaperon lias Jut told lb
girls she thought those horrid boys
were telling risque Jokes.
Distinguished Disturbance.
Mow often hialnry will irn-llm
riotite one to pMre averse.
Who, when aPalra are ll, rinds fame
11 making niallera wurae!
Ancient History Rerised.
first I'atrun (In bnrtM-r shop) If
tVlllab of Suiiisoii and iH'lllah fume
were to come back she'd make a for
tune these days, wouldn't she?
Second I'utron In what respect.
First L'ulron Wasn't she the Unit
lady barber?
Bull o' the Woods.
"Here, what's the big Idea chuckln'
the bricks down sa fust as I bring
'em up?"
"It's all right the boss keeps
pauln' underneath.1'
"(Hi, yes, accidents will happen,
won't theyT
DON'T MISS THIS
Ho (Introducing) This young tndy
bas Just bwn elected to the tower
house of congress.
'.it Ah, a Miss representative, 1 see.
Wasted Sentiment;
"I cannot llm Ihe old pihiks,"
He walled. The losa la small.
He tries the new and this proves
. true
' lie ranool ulnar t "" i
Would Do His Share, ,
"Look tier, I Mint 1 1 I'M t ybu l
pay your own bill," an Id a father Who
had been considerably iiiinoyuj by bis
son's extravagant liublts.
"Certainly, dad," replied the youth.
"I don't exMct you to run nhoiil see
ing my tailor und so on. Just leave a
check on the tuble for me this morn
lug mid I'll see to everything myself I"
Stray Stories.
Shorter Short Story.
"Unmarried?''
"Vea twlee
Makes Many Knots.
' "Yes,' llil" Utile boat makes I'll knots
nil holirl" sold (he motor boat owner,
as they plowed through Ilia waves.
Kin on!" gasped bis pretty com
pinmn. "What a lot of rope- you
must use! Hut tell mo who unties
them ull?" -
' Pa Knew.
"Pn, what Is a yes man?" asked
('liirence,
"It's a htishiind, son, whose siinppy
romebiiek to bis wife's orders Is 'Yes
mum," replied bis find. i , j
WienFood
Sours
tots of folks who think they hftv
"Indigestion" linvs only an add condU
tlon which could bo corrected In firs)
or ten minutes. Ao effective nntl ticlil
Ilk Phillips Milk of Magnesia goon
restores digestion to normal,
Phillips docs away with all that
sourness not gns riaoi ain-r mt-uiM. av
prevents me utstress an npt in occur
two hours after eating. What I pless-
ant preparation to tuke I And ho ,
good It Is for the system! I'nllU a
burning doso of indn-whlcb la but.'
temporary relief at best Phillips,
Milk of Magnesia neutralizes many
times Its volume In acid. '
Next time a hearty tneiil, or too rich)
diet bas brought on tb least dis
comfort, try
PHILLIPS
IT Milk s
ofMaignesia
made HANFORD'S "IT
m Balsam of Myrrh
IT MUST Bat GOOD
Try it for Cud, Bruliri, Sorti, etc
aauWIead to neaad rear an I tw lit
Immune).
When Hob l(o)er cntoe bark from
uimner at the "Y" rnmp In Creen
valley, be suddenly dlsctivrrel that
little vamp had picked on him, and
fluttered around continuously.
"You'd belter look out for that one,"
advised I frleiiiL "Kite's gut the rep
of being a regular gold digger,"
Then all I'vt got to any Is that
she's a darned poor geologt," de
clared Hob l.os Angeles Tliues.
Wilt Cold Worry,
You ThW Winter?
Pome men throu-olT a cold within
few boure-of roiilriictliig It. Anymis
ran do It with the aid of a simple com
pound which comes in tublet form, and
Is no trouble to tnke or to aluays
nnve. nbotit you. I'on't "dope" your
self when you catch cold; tie l'uto's
Cold 'iumioiiiiiI. Men and women
everywhere rely on this nmnxlng little
fnblet.-Adv.
Thai's Not Nice.
"I never worry about my huslmnd
pnylng attention to other women be g
rrnr.y about me."
"Hut perhaps he has lucid Intervals."
Tlt-Hlta. -
. Folks that are eit'avngnnt In ev.
erythlng else are often too atlugy of
the words In a liiirgntiii,
It May B e
Vrntm
fit ... m '
rA A.v'.,t
U'lTj.V.:',
7AA .M
Children Cry
for It
Cnslorln Is a rnmrort tvhen r.nby U
fretful. No sooner taken than the little
one la at ease. If restless, a few drops
soon bring contentment. No harm done
for Castorlii Is a baby remedy, meant
for bublea. Perfectly anfo to give the
youngiHt Infant; you have Ilia doctors'
word for that I It Is a vegetable pro
duct and you could use It every day.
Hut It's In Ml emergency that Castorla
means most. Home night when constl
pntlon must be relieved or collo pains
or other suffering. Never be without
It ; some mothers keep nn extra bottle,
nnopened, to make sure there will al
ways bo Castorla In the house. It Is
-ffertlve for older children, too; read
ihe book that comes with It.
afyriVV
m
my