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About The gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 20, 1916)
PAGE FOUR THE GAZETTE-TIMES, HEPPNER. ORE, THURSDAY, JAN. 20. 1916 S TIMES DANCE I LENA, OREGON February 11th, 1916 Fine imposed on anyone who comes dressed up. Good music and a fine time for all. BASKET SUPPER Get a new stove Snot Ve J DON'T PUT UP WITH A SMOKY, DANGEROUS, OLD, WORN-OUT RANGE OR STOVE ANY LONGER. COKE AND GET ONE OF OUR NEW ONES. IT IS ECONOMY TO BUY A NEW STOVE. YOUR COAL LASTS LONGER AND GIVES MORE HEAT. THERE ARE LOTS OF NEW AND CONVENIENT "ATTACHMENTS" TO OUR STOVES AND RANGES THAT YOU WILL LIKE. COME IN AND SEE THEM. VAUGHN & SONS i 4 m 4 44 h h $ t -t : i ; ! 4 le INDEPENDENT GARAGE KING & RED1FER AUTOMOBILE ACCESSORIES AND SUPPLIES Tires and Tubes Vulcanized. Batter ies Recharged. Electric Equipment. MAXWELL AGENCY and service station Cars For Hire at All Hours. Phones: Shop 572 Residence 5.2 Heppner Located on North Main Street Oregon . - A 2 A. R. REID for your Rugh and Dressed Lumber, Wood and Posts At the Mill or delivered HK UAKKTi'li-TlMKN 1 VUKVMil'.U TO FIU, ALL OF lOIK "tKKIJH IS THK LINK OK IIUTl.ti, AMI WHKTHKH VOI R .UK.I1M INCLI DK O.NLY A CAIIH JOB OH AN KXTKKMVK Al) F.HTISi CATALOG. WK C AN MA.MU.K KITHKIt OH 1IOTH I'OK YOU IN A WAV THAT IS SI UK TO HU XATINKACTOHV. (II K WKI.L KS TAULINHKU liKI'l'TATIO.V AS PKOIIL'CKItg OF "I'KINT INi THAT SATISFIKM" MAS 1IKKX OHTAI.NFI) O.NLY THHOI .H THIS HK.H STA N IIA HI) OF F.X( Kl.l.KNXU WK MAINTAIN I.N OLR JOB l'lU.VMKG DEl'AltTMENT. INDUSTRIAL ITEMS OF GENERAL INTEREST Gaston has opened new $12,000 school house. Woodburn has awarded contract for $40,000 high school. The Canby cheese factory is sched uled to start January 15. Portland Spokane man buys Har adon Candy Factory for $150,000. C. A. Smith lumber co. at Marsh field will start on full time February first. Dallas It seems certain that the big Falls City mill will reopen about March 1. Marsh field Reports say that Con logue Bros, will soon start their log ging camp. The principle business of the north west for the past few weeks has been shoveling snow. La Grande Reports say that live stock industry is on increase in this part of the state. Monmouth Valley & Siletz R. P.. will soon resume construction work into Siletz basin. The Oregon City paper mills are preparing for flood which seems cer tain to follow the unusual snow. The Hoke cannery of Medford has increased its stock from $5000 to $10,000 and will double its output. Reports show that a large sawmill will be erected in Independence in stead of Hoskins as was previously reported. Harney county is celebrating its first view of a locomotive and all that section is rejoicing that it will soon have a railroad. Portland Pacific Furniture Spec ialities Manufacturing Co. has opened its factory with sufficient orders on hand for several months. Marshfield Kruse & Banks ship yard, long idle, is now running full blast, working on a new steam schooner with prospects for several more orders before summer. 1 BEST Fill JUDGE WELL, 2 AND 2 STILL MAKE 4 ANYWAY: OR DO THEY NOW? Xon-Euc!idean Geometers Cerlainly Make Life a Puzzle When They Knife What Old Man Euclid Said University of Oregon, Eugene, Jan. 15. Until they heard an address by R. M. Winger, Ph. D., assistant pro fessor of mathematics in the Univer sity of Oregon, this week, a number of his hearers had never dreamed that the sum of the angles of a tri angle might not be equal after all to two right angles. Nor that the sum of the squares on the sides of a right angled triangle might not be equal to the square of the hypotenuse. Nor that the ratio of the length of a circle to its diameter might vary. Many old and established beliefs were shaken in the audience, in fact, through Dr. Winger's address, which was on "Non-Euclidean Geometry and the Modern Spirit in Mathematics." The address dealt with the theory of geometry held by Lobachevsky of Russia, Bolyai of Hungary and Gauss of Germany, who began independent ly to develop the non-Euclidean geometry. Euclidean geometry is based on the assertion that the sum of the angles of a triangle is equal to two right angles. Non-Euclidean geometry contends that the sum may be greater or less than two right angles. "If he latter be true, many old and fa milar propositions fall to the ground" says Dr. Winger. Euclid teaches that paralell lines are etui-distant. The non-Euclidean geometers say that paralell lines are equi-distant from one another and that equi-distant straight lines do not exist. Ehe Eculideans believe the sum of the squares of the other two Bides is equal to the square of the hypotenuse of a right angled triangle; the non Euclideans maintain there is no such thing as a square. "The prevailing idea is that mathe matics is absolutely certain," said Dr. Winger. "If the non-Euclideans are right, mathematics is on an ex perimental basis like physics or chem istry." " Dr. Winger shows where one the ory will explain phenomena as well as the other. The Federated Cliureh, The regular service at the Feder ated church are as follows: Preaching every Sunday, 11 a. m. and 7:30 p. m. Federated Sunday School every Sunday 9:45 a. m. Federated Young People's Meeting every Sunday 6; 30 p. m. Federated Missionary 8ociety the last Tuesday in each month. Prayer meeting every Thursday at 7:30 p. m. Federated Ladies Aid meets the 2nd Tuesday in every month, 2:30 p. m. A hearty welcome is extended to all. W. B. SMITH, Pastor. Parsonage next door to the church. The Few Except ions. "I don't believe there is any great use in your going to the Majestic, Mr. Sellers, for it prob'ly won't be upon tonight," said the landlord of the Pe aunia tavern, in rei'ly to the request of the drummer for information re garding the whereabouts of the tem ple of the movies. "You see, this is prayer meeting night, and it is 'most always closed on prayer meeting nights, same us 'tis the nights when the Rebeccy Lodge meets, and when ever the Ladies' Aid gives an oyster festival, or the Lyceum Course is go ing on, and the nights once in a while when the young people meet to trip the light fanatic toe, and the rare occasions when Sock and Bustin' Co terie present a drama. And, of course, too, it is closed when a Con gressman or any big bug that-a-way makes a speech here." "Well, in the name of wonder! When is it open?" "On every other night but them I have mentioned, except, of course. Sundays, and when it storms." 5 5 8 5 His 1 'hances. Patient (mournfully) I'm afraid, doctor, from what you've said there's very little hope for me. The specialist Nonsense! If you survive the experiments I'm going to make on you, you may live for months. 5 5 5 5 Xot to he Missed. Wife We must surely go to Egypt this year. Husband Why Egypt? Wife On account of those Pyra mids. I see by this magazine that they are slowly wasting away. It would hardly do to miss 'em. I 5 Kneiv Where Ho Was At. When the late Robert Aull was park commissioner, there was a negro boy called Possum, who helped around the boathouse in Forest Park Lake. Possum was a mighty hunter and fisherman, and those qualities ap pealed to Col. Aull. Sometimes Col. Aull and Possum took lanterns at night and caught a mess of frogs ia Forest Lake. Possum had a falsetto voice and a vast ignorance of how to use the tele phone. He had located several fat, fine frogs that he thought Col. Aull might like to gig, and he called him up at the City Hall. The commissioner's stenographer answered the telephone, and, after hearing Possum's fhrill tenor de manding an interview with "Mistah Aull," she said: "There's a lady on the p'hone who wants to speak to you personally." Col. Aull went to the phone, and said: "Well, this is Mr. Aull; what is it madame?" The reply came: "Thith itli Pot.lt um! I want to talk tn Mithta Aull." "This is Mr. Aull. Who are you?" "Thith ith Pothum. Don't you know Pothum? Pothum, the nigger out at Foreth Park. I want you t come and meet me, and we'll get thome frawgth." "Oh, all right, Possum, are you?" "Thuth?" "Where are you?" "I don't know what you Thith ith Pothum. I want come right out and meet me." "All right, I'll come, but where are ou?" "I don't know what you thaid." Then the park commissioner, rais ing his voice, resorted to the lan guage of the plain people: "Where are you at?" "Oh," responded Possum, with a sigh of relief. "Heah I ith." St, Louis Globe-Democrat. 5 5 5 A Keveiution. Bluff You ought to have been at "hurcli today; the sermon was a won der. RuffSo I heard, Wtio was tell ing you? Stanford Chaparral. Mil ('ensoriii!; Tennyson. "Cannon to the left of them, can non to the right of them, cannon be hind them, volleyed and thundered." So quoted the enthusiastic war cor respondent. But the censor cut out this passage. "Can't be giving away the posi tions of our artillery," commented he sagely. I I ! I Excusable Nejtlert. Attorney for plaintiff rYou have testified that your conduct toward your wife was always affectionate and punctilious. Now, isn't it a fact that you left the house one morning without kissing her good-bye? Perkins (who is defending a sep aration suit on the ground of cruel and inhuman treatment) Yes, sir. Attorney (triumphantly) Ah, I thought so. Now will you tell us why you left your wife without kissing her good-bye? Perkins Because she had just li it me in the mouth with a fiatiron, and my osculatory apparatus was tempor arily disabled. I 1 S i His Mistake. Wait a moment, lady; wait until the car stops." "Will you please not address me as lady, sir?" she said sharply. I beg your pardon, mad am," said the conductor.. "The best of us are apt to make mistakes." Buffalo Currier. Where thaid. you tc TAKE YOUR MEALS AT THE O. K. RESTAURANT Ma Shoot, Prop. Just re-opened. Everything neat and clean Best of everything the market affords, including fresh oysters and shell fish. MEALS - - 25c and up F01D GUILTY! of competing with the mail order houses, such as Jones Cash Store, Rice & Phelan Send me your orders, or write me in regard to same I BUY POULTRY AT ALL TIMES Egg City Cash Store JOB MASON, Proprietor. IONE : : : OREGON GET THE HABIT OF DEPOSITING YOUR FUNDS WITH The First National Bank of Heppner WE BELIEVE THERE IS MUCH ROOM FOR DE VELOPMENT OF THE SAVINGS HABIT AMONG THE AMERICAN PEOPLE IN GENERAL, AND AMONG OUR LOCAL PEOPLE IN PARTICULAR. WHEN WB FIRST PUT IN OUR SAVINGS DEPART MENT RESULTS WERE NOT ENCOURAGING, BUT WE FIND THAT THE DEPOSITS HAVE GRADUALLY IN CREASED. A LARGER NUMBER ARE MAKING USE OF THIS METHOD OF TAKING CARE OF THEIR IDLE FUNDS. WE ARE PREPARED TO CARE FOR BOTH LARGE AND SMALL AMOUNTS AND PAY FOUR PER CENT. INTEREST. WE FEEL THAT THERE ARE MANY MORE IN THIS COMMUNITY WHO SHOULD BE AVAILING THEM SELVES OF OUR SAVINGS DEPARTMENT. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED WE WILL BE PLEASED . TO HAVE YOU CALL AND GET PARTICULARS. THE HARDEMAN HAT THEHAT FOR YOU We carry a com plete line of this ex cellent head wear in all the late patterns and standard colors. This populor $3.00 hat is waiting for you at the store of SAM HUGHES CO. FUNERAL SUPPLIES MODERN EQUIPMENT PAINSTAKING SERVICE CASE FURNITURE COMPANY