PAGE FOUR
THE GAZETTE-TIMES, HEPPNER. ORE, THURSDAY, JAN. 20. 1916
S TIMES DANCE I
LENA, OREGON
February 11th, 1916
Fine imposed on anyone who
comes dressed up. Good
music and a fine time for all.
BASKET SUPPER
Get a new stove
Snot Ve J
DON'T PUT UP WITH A SMOKY, DANGEROUS,
OLD, WORN-OUT RANGE OR STOVE ANY LONGER.
COKE AND GET ONE OF OUR NEW ONES.
IT IS ECONOMY TO BUY A NEW STOVE. YOUR
COAL LASTS LONGER AND GIVES MORE HEAT.
THERE ARE LOTS OF NEW AND CONVENIENT
"ATTACHMENTS" TO OUR STOVES AND RANGES
THAT YOU WILL LIKE. COME IN AND SEE THEM.
VAUGHN & SONS
i 4 m 4 44 h h $ t -t : i ; ! 4
le INDEPENDENT GARAGE
KING & RED1FER
AUTOMOBILE ACCESSORIES AND SUPPLIES
Tires and Tubes Vulcanized. Batter
ies Recharged. Electric Equipment.
MAXWELL AGENCY
and service station
Cars For Hire at All Hours.
Phones: Shop 572 Residence 5.2
Heppner
Located on North
Main Street
Oregon
. - A
2 A. R. REID
for your
Rugh and Dressed Lumber,
Wood and Posts
At the Mill or delivered
HK UAKKTi'li-TlMKN 1 VUKVMil'.U TO FIU, ALL OF
lOIK "tKKIJH IS THK LINK OK IIUTl.ti, AMI
WHKTHKH VOI R .UK.I1M INCLI DK O.NLY A CAIIH
JOB OH AN KXTKKMVK Al) F.HTISi CATALOG. WK
C AN MA.MU.K KITHKIt OH 1IOTH I'OK YOU IN A WAV
THAT IS SI UK TO HU XATINKACTOHV. (II K WKI.L KS
TAULINHKU liKI'l'TATIO.V AS PKOIIL'CKItg OF "I'KINT
INi THAT SATISFIKM" MAS 1IKKX OHTAI.NFI) O.NLY
THHOI .H THIS HK.H STA N IIA HI) OF F.X( Kl.l.KNXU WK
MAINTAIN I.N OLR JOB l'lU.VMKG DEl'AltTMENT.
INDUSTRIAL ITEMS
OF GENERAL INTEREST
Gaston has opened new $12,000
school house.
Woodburn has awarded contract
for $40,000 high school.
The Canby cheese factory is sched
uled to start January 15.
Portland Spokane man buys Har
adon Candy Factory for $150,000.
C. A. Smith lumber co. at Marsh
field will start on full time February
first.
Dallas It seems certain that the
big Falls City mill will reopen about
March 1.
Marsh field Reports say that Con
logue Bros, will soon start their log
ging camp.
The principle business of the north
west for the past few weeks has been
shoveling snow.
La Grande Reports say that live
stock industry is on increase in this
part of the state.
Monmouth Valley & Siletz R. P..
will soon resume construction work
into Siletz basin.
The Oregon City paper mills are
preparing for flood which seems cer
tain to follow the unusual snow.
The Hoke cannery of Medford has
increased its stock from $5000 to
$10,000 and will double its output.
Reports show that a large sawmill
will be erected in Independence in
stead of Hoskins as was previously
reported.
Harney county is celebrating its
first view of a locomotive and all that
section is rejoicing that it will soon
have a railroad.
Portland Pacific Furniture Spec
ialities Manufacturing Co. has opened
its factory with sufficient orders on
hand for several months.
Marshfield Kruse & Banks ship
yard, long idle, is now running full
blast, working on a new steam
schooner with prospects for several
more orders before summer.
1 BEST Fill JUDGE
WELL, 2 AND 2 STILL
MAKE 4 ANYWAY:
OR DO THEY NOW?
Xon-Euc!idean Geometers Cerlainly
Make Life a Puzzle When They
Knife What Old Man Euclid Said
University of Oregon, Eugene, Jan.
15. Until they heard an address by
R. M. Winger, Ph. D., assistant pro
fessor of mathematics in the Univer
sity of Oregon, this week, a number
of his hearers had never dreamed
that the sum of the angles of a tri
angle might not be equal after all to
two right angles.
Nor that the sum of the squares on
the sides of a right angled triangle
might not be equal to the square of
the hypotenuse.
Nor that the ratio of the length of
a circle to its diameter might vary.
Many old and established beliefs
were shaken in the audience, in fact,
through Dr. Winger's address, which
was on "Non-Euclidean Geometry and
the Modern Spirit in Mathematics."
The address dealt with the theory of
geometry held by Lobachevsky of
Russia, Bolyai of Hungary and Gauss
of Germany, who began independent
ly to develop the non-Euclidean
geometry.
Euclidean geometry is based on the
assertion that the sum of the angles
of a triangle is equal to two right
angles. Non-Euclidean geometry
contends that the sum may be greater
or less than two right angles. "If
he latter be true, many old and fa
milar propositions fall to the ground"
says Dr. Winger.
Euclid teaches that paralell lines
are etui-distant. The non-Euclidean
geometers say that paralell lines are
equi-distant from one another and
that equi-distant straight lines do not
exist.
Ehe Eculideans believe the sum of
the squares of the other two Bides is
equal to the square of the hypotenuse
of a right angled triangle; the non
Euclideans maintain there is no such
thing as a square.
"The prevailing idea is that mathe
matics is absolutely certain," said
Dr. Winger. "If the non-Euclideans
are right, mathematics is on an ex
perimental basis like physics or chem
istry." "
Dr. Winger shows where one the
ory will explain phenomena as well
as the other.
The Federated Cliureh,
The regular service at the Feder
ated church are as follows:
Preaching every Sunday, 11 a. m.
and 7:30 p. m.
Federated Sunday School every
Sunday 9:45 a. m.
Federated Young People's Meeting
every Sunday 6; 30 p. m.
Federated Missionary 8ociety the
last Tuesday in each month.
Prayer meeting every Thursday at
7:30 p. m.
Federated Ladies Aid meets the
2nd Tuesday in every month, 2:30
p. m.
A hearty welcome is extended to
all.
W. B. SMITH, Pastor.
Parsonage next door to the church.
The Few Except ions.
"I don't believe there is any great
use in your going to the Majestic, Mr.
Sellers, for it prob'ly won't be upon
tonight," said the landlord of the Pe
aunia tavern, in rei'ly to the request
of the drummer for information re
garding the whereabouts of the tem
ple of the movies. "You see, this is
prayer meeting night, and it is 'most
always closed on prayer meeting
nights, same us 'tis the nights when
the Rebeccy Lodge meets, and when
ever the Ladies' Aid gives an oyster
festival, or the Lyceum Course is go
ing on, and the nights once in a while
when the young people meet to trip
the light fanatic toe, and the rare
occasions when Sock and Bustin' Co
terie present a drama. And, of
course, too, it is closed when a Con
gressman or any big bug that-a-way
makes a speech here."
"Well, in the name of wonder!
When is it open?"
"On every other night but them I
have mentioned, except, of course.
Sundays, and when it storms."
5 5 8 5
His 1 'hances.
Patient (mournfully) I'm afraid,
doctor, from what you've said there's
very little hope for me.
The specialist Nonsense! If you
survive the experiments I'm going to
make on you, you may live for
months.
5 5 5 5
Xot to he Missed.
Wife We must surely go to Egypt
this year.
Husband Why Egypt?
Wife On account of those Pyra
mids. I see by this magazine that
they are slowly wasting away. It
would hardly do to miss 'em.
I 5
Kneiv Where Ho Was At.
When the late Robert Aull was
park commissioner, there was a negro
boy called Possum, who helped
around the boathouse in Forest Park
Lake. Possum was a mighty hunter
and fisherman, and those qualities ap
pealed to Col. Aull. Sometimes Col.
Aull and Possum took lanterns at
night and caught a mess of frogs ia
Forest Lake.
Possum had a falsetto voice and a
vast ignorance of how to use the tele
phone. He had located several fat,
fine frogs that he thought Col. Aull
might like to gig, and he called him
up at the City Hall.
The commissioner's stenographer
answered the telephone, and, after
hearing Possum's fhrill tenor de
manding an interview with "Mistah
Aull," she said: "There's a lady on
the p'hone who wants to speak to
you personally."
Col. Aull went to the phone, and
said: "Well, this is Mr. Aull; what is
it madame?"
The reply came: "Thith itli Pot.lt
um! I want to talk tn Mithta Aull."
"This is Mr. Aull. Who are you?"
"Thith ith Pothum. Don't you
know Pothum? Pothum, the nigger
out at Foreth Park. I want you t
come and meet me, and we'll get
thome frawgth."
"Oh, all right, Possum,
are you?"
"Thuth?"
"Where are you?"
"I don't know what you
Thith ith Pothum. I want
come right out and meet me."
"All right, I'll come, but where are
ou?"
"I don't know what you thaid."
Then the park commissioner, rais
ing his voice, resorted to the lan
guage of the plain people: "Where
are you at?"
"Oh," responded Possum, with a
sigh of relief. "Heah I ith." St,
Louis Globe-Democrat.
5 5 5
A Keveiution.
Bluff You ought to have been at
"hurcli today; the sermon was a won
der. RuffSo I heard, Wtio was tell
ing you? Stanford Chaparral.
Mil
('ensoriii!; Tennyson.
"Cannon to the left of them, can
non to the right of them, cannon be
hind them, volleyed and thundered."
So quoted the enthusiastic war cor
respondent. But the censor cut out
this passage.
"Can't be giving away the posi
tions of our artillery," commented he
sagely.
I I ! I
Excusable Nejtlert.
Attorney for plaintiff rYou have
testified that your conduct toward
your wife was always affectionate
and punctilious. Now, isn't it a fact
that you left the house one morning
without kissing her good-bye?
Perkins (who is defending a sep
aration suit on the ground of cruel
and inhuman treatment) Yes, sir.
Attorney (triumphantly) Ah, I
thought so. Now will you tell us why
you left your wife without kissing
her good-bye?
Perkins Because she had just li it
me in the mouth with a fiatiron, and
my osculatory apparatus was tempor
arily disabled.
I 1 S i
His Mistake.
Wait a moment, lady; wait until
the car stops." "Will you please not
address me as lady, sir?" she said
sharply. I beg your pardon, mad
am," said the conductor.. "The best
of us are apt to make mistakes."
Buffalo Currier.
Where
thaid.
you tc
TAKE YOUR MEALS AT THE
O. K. RESTAURANT
Ma Shoot, Prop.
Just re-opened. Everything neat and clean
Best of everything the market affords, including
fresh oysters and shell fish.
MEALS - - 25c and up
F01D GUILTY!
of competing with the mail
order houses, such as Jones
Cash Store, Rice & Phelan
Send me your orders, or write me in
regard to same
I BUY POULTRY AT ALL TIMES
Egg City Cash Store
JOB MASON, Proprietor.
IONE : : : OREGON
GET THE HABIT
OF DEPOSITING YOUR FUNDS WITH
The First National Bank of Heppner
WE BELIEVE THERE IS MUCH ROOM FOR DE
VELOPMENT OF THE SAVINGS HABIT AMONG THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE IN GENERAL, AND AMONG OUR
LOCAL PEOPLE IN PARTICULAR.
WHEN WB FIRST PUT IN OUR SAVINGS DEPART
MENT RESULTS WERE NOT ENCOURAGING, BUT WE
FIND THAT THE DEPOSITS HAVE GRADUALLY IN
CREASED. A LARGER NUMBER ARE MAKING USE
OF THIS METHOD OF TAKING CARE OF THEIR IDLE
FUNDS.
WE ARE PREPARED TO CARE FOR BOTH LARGE
AND SMALL AMOUNTS AND PAY FOUR PER CENT.
INTEREST.
WE FEEL THAT THERE ARE MANY MORE IN THIS
COMMUNITY WHO SHOULD BE AVAILING THEM
SELVES OF OUR SAVINGS DEPARTMENT.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED WE WILL BE PLEASED .
TO HAVE YOU CALL AND GET PARTICULARS.
THE
HARDEMAN HAT
THEHAT
FOR YOU
We carry a com
plete line of this ex
cellent head wear
in all the late patterns and standard
colors. This populor $3.00 hat is
waiting for you at the store of
SAM HUGHES CO.
FUNERAL SUPPLIES
MODERN EQUIPMENT
PAINSTAKING SERVICE
CASE FURNITURE COMPANY