The gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, October 07, 1915, Image 3

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The gazette-times., October 07, 1915, Page PAGE THREE, Image 3

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Newspaper Page TextTHE GAZETTE-TIMES, HEPPNER. ORE., THURSDAY, OCT. 7, 1915 PAGE TTmEE PROFESSIONAL COLUMN Dr. H. T. ALLISON Physician & Surgeon Office In Gunn Building. HEPPNER, OREGON Dr. N. E. WINNARD Physician & Surgeon Office' in Fair Building HEPPNER - - OREGON Dr. F. N. CHRISTENSEN DENTIST Offices over the New PoBtof f ice. HEPPNER, OREGON A. D. McMURDO, M. D. Physician & Surgeon Office In Patterson Drug Store HEPPN"ER :-: :-: OREGON Dr. JOHN B. DYE DENTIST Room 16, lone Hotel, lone, Ore. C. E. WOODSON ATTORNEY-AT-LAW Office In Palace Hotel, Heppner, Oregon SAM E. VAN VACTOR ATTORXEY-AT-LAW Oltce on west end of May Street HEPPNER, OREGON S. E. NOTSON ATTORXEY-AT-LAW Office in Court House, Heppner. F. H. ROBINSON LAWYER IONE :- -: -: OREGON Knappenberg & Johnson ATTORNEYS AND COUNCELORS AT LAW IONE ;-: OREGON CLYDE and DICK WELLS SHAVING PARLORS Three doors south of Postofflce. Shaving 25c Haircutting 35c Bathroom in connection. PATTERSON & ELDER 2 Doors North Palace Hotel. TONSORAL ARTISTS FINE BATHS SHAVING 25c J. H. BODE MERCHANT TAILOR HEPPNER :-: :-: :-: OREGON W. L. SMITH ABSTRACTER Only complete set of abstract books in Morrow County. HEPPNER :-: :-: :-: OREGON 'Tailoring That Satisfies" LOUIS PEARSON MERCHANT TAILOR HEPPNER :-: :-: :-: OREGON F. M. DYE, M. D. DENTIST Permanently located in Odd Fel lows Building, Rooms 4 and 6. HEPPNER, ORGEON THE CONFECTIONERY HARDMAN, OREGON WILL SERVE ICE CREAM HERE AFTER ON SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS. COMPLETE LINE OF CONFEC TIONERYFRUITS IN SEASON. W. H. AYERS, Proprietor Telephone your orders to Hum preys Drug Co. for the sawing of your wood. lm- When you need Jug3" two-vision lenses be sure to get KRYPIW AV LENSES xv (Worn by over 250.000 people) Forin all olhertwo-vision lenses there is a line or scam between the near and far vision portions that makes the wearer look less than his best, and unmistakably brands bim or her with a sign of aire. Kryptoks are double-vision lenses mat look exactly uuereguiarone vision leases because there arc no line s or scams 10 them. Dr. Winnard can supply these lenses Satisfaction guaranteed or money refunded. VJhat Are YOU Worth From the (UP? It Isestimnted that the average man is worth $2 a day from the neck down whnt $ he worth from the oeck ufif That depends en tirely upon training. If you are trained so that you plan and direct work you are worth tea times as much as the man who can work only under orders. The tsUrnatliMl twnitofldinn Schtoli jo to the man who is struggling along on small pay and say to him, ' We will train you for promotion right where you are, or we will quality you to take up a more congenial line of work at a much higher salary." livery month sev eral hundred stu dents voluntarily report advancement as the direct result of I. C. 15. training. You need not leave your present work, or vour own hom. Mark this coupon at once and mail it. iBleraallioal csrrottoailcace sthMls i Mtme eipixiu. Miiimui ittrtner or n gamin ii my , part, how i can tjuaiily fm the position,, trade, or profession before which I have marked X. Automobile Running Poultry Farming Bookkeeper Stenogmpher Advertising Man Show-Card Writing Window Trimming Commercial lllnstitit. Industrial Designing Arrbltectural Drafts. CbemUt ( Spanish Languages J rVt'iich Bmktng 1 fiernwn CKIISrviciil Italian r.k'itrii nl Wirt'tnnn KlcclriialFtn."i;-cr Mi'clianli'ol Draftsman Mct httniLiI Krtgineer 'I c-lephuuf kxpert Stationary Engineer Textile Manufacturing ( ivi'I l-'ngiuetT Building Contractor ArrhiKTt Concrrtc Constrnct'n rh'iititntf. Steam Fltt'g Mine Foreman Mhu- SupiTtnU-ndoiU Name I St. & No.. I CUy . State J.N.McKinneURteMgr. 202 McKay Bldg., Portland REDFRONT Livery & Feed Stables WILLIS STEWART, Proprietor. First Class Livery Rigs kept constantly on hand and can be furnished on short no tice to parties desiring to drive into the interior. First class Hacks and Buggies Call around and see us. We cater to the Commercial Travel ers and Camping Parties and can furnish rigs and driv er on short notice. HEPPNER . . . OREGON X 1 FROM "JUDGE" A Failure. Appeal to their higher ideals, their honor, their affections, and she thot she would try it on small Bill. "If you do not study more, I can't promote you, and you will be separat ed from your friends, who'll go to the next grade," she said. "Huh! These kids ain't my friends. Say, Miss Lee, I got a friend what rides with the ash man," Bill began with pride, hut was interrupted. "Isn't one of the little girls your sweetheart, though?" Miss Lee ques tioned. "Aw, a feller can have a gilr, can't he?" Bill demanded, his ears red. "Certainly; its very nice that he should. How will you like it, how ever, to see her go away from the room?" Bill shrugged in a manner which Miss Lee was sadly forced to regard as typical of the unregenerated male. "Aw, by next year," he said, "there'll be a fresh flock o' chickens runnin' 'round." I I I I Got All the News. "Why don't you subscribe to my paper, Uncle Hy?" asked Editor Josh Lotts of the Smileyville Express. "It would be useless extravagance" replied Farmer Hyperbole Medders. "My wife belongs to the Chautauquy Club, the Sewin' Circle and the Mis sionary Society." 9 I 9 9 Taking No Chances. "Upson, old man, you shun krink- ing water almost as If you were scared of it." "I am," shuddered Upson Downs, the promising but not paying young business man. "A doctor told me more than eighty per cent, of my body is water already, and I'm afraid to dilute myself any more." I t ! I Chopping Him Off. "Ah, how do you do, sir!" deferen tially began an imposing looking stranger, extending his card. "Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. J. Fuller Gloom." "Not being able to diagnose your sensations I can't say about the pleas ure part, but I'm Gloom," returned the well-known pessimist. "I note by your card that you are Mr. G. D Newsance, representing Klutch & Skinner, publishers of subscription books. It is a fact that admits of no contradiction that I am one of the very few people In this community of sufficient culture to appreciate the rare and ornate literary work which you are introducing. And permit me to add that I am of sufficient intelli gence not to care a tinker's anathema about them. Good Day, Mr. New sance!" (ill The Reason, "This dog of ours," said Mrs. Jones to the Sabbath dinner guest, "is a most peculiar animal, he runs away very often and stays for days but lie always comes home on Sunday." "Why is that? Why does he choose Sunday to return?" asked the guest. "I really don't know," Bmiled Mrs. Jones, tenderly stroking the dog's sleek brown head. "Some Strange canine intuition, I suppose." "Canine nuthln'," sniffed little Johnny Jones. "I 'spect he knows that Sunday's the on'y day we have a decent meal." 8 9 11 Unnecessary Exertion. Pullman Porter Next stop is yo' station, sah. Shall I brush yo' off now? Morton Morose No; it is not nec essary, when the the train stops 1 11 step off. 9 9 I 9 He Needed Help. A boy walked into the office of the telegraph company at Chicago and asked for a job. He said his name was "Missouri." The manager happened to want a messenger boy just at that moment and gave him a message that had to be delivered in a hurry. "Here's your chance, my boy," said the manager. "These people have been kicking about undelivered messages. Now, don't you come back until you have delivered it." A little while afterward the tele phone rang. On the other end of the wire there appeared to be a building watchman, somewhat terrified. "Have you got a boy they call Mis souri?" inquired the watchman. "We did have 10 minutes ago," re plied the manager. "That Missouri feller came over here and said he had to go to one of the offices. We don't allow no one up in that office at this hour, and I told him he couldn't go." "Yes, yes," said the manager. "Well," said the watchman, "he said he would go, and I had to pull my gun on him." "But you didn't shoot him," ex claimed the manager. "No," meekly came back the re sponse over the wire, "but I want my gun back." Philadelphia North Am erican. T 8 9 I A Soft Answer. A tramp approached a certain Downs home the other evening, rap ped on the back door, aud when the lady of the house appeared, he began to clear bis throat preparatory to telling his hard luck story. "Get away from here," said the wo man. "I never feed professional bums." "But, madam, I am not a profes sional bum," said the tramp. "I am a psychologist traveling in the inter est of science. I read character at a glance. In looking Into the Boulful depths ot your beautiful eyes, I read there that you are by nature a kind- hearted, gentle, generous woman. It Is these noble impulses and the contemplation of charitable deeds that keep you looking so young and handsome." "You poor, tired hungry man," said the woman. "Come inside and I will give you some breakfast:" Moral Diplomacy is mightier than the sword. Downs (Kans.) Times. 9 9 9 9 Why. Hokus Why do you liken Hard- uppe to the busy bee? He isn't par ticularly industrious, is he? Pokus Oh, no; it isn't that. But nearly everybody he touches gets stung. Town Topics. 9 8 9 9 Sure He Did. Deacon Susie, I am sorry your papa was not at meeting. Susie Please, no, sir; he went out walking in the woods. Deacon I am afraid, Susie, your papa does not fear God? Susie Oh, yes, sir; I guess he does; he took his gun with him. Buffalo Currier. "WHO'S WHO IN SOCIETY" One of the funniest farces in film is George Klelne's "Who's Who In Society" which will be shown at the Horn' theater on Friday and Satur day, October 8 and 9. It is a genu ine Kleine comedy and lives up to the high reputation set by its charming predecessors' "Officer 666" and "The Commuters." Mrs. O'Brien, newly rich, vainly aspires to social prominence, an am bition in which her common, chess loving husband does not sympathize. Pretty Mary Ellen, the daughter, and a Jap butler constitute the household. One day, Mrs. O'Brien sends out invitations to a party which the Van Dusens and Van Astorbilts refuse to attend. While she is mourning this loss, an automobile breaks down in front of the house and a slender young man who Introduces himself as Lord Algernon Ste. Clair seeks refuge while his car awaits the repairman. Mrs. O'Brien, scenting a noble match, promptly invites him to stay for the party. MeanVhile a rough-looking charac ter alights from an automobile, and after a careful inspection of the house, rejoins his friends and disap pears. An hour later, immaculately groomed, he enters the club of which O'Brien is a member and, finding the solitary old Irishman playing a lone some game of chess, offers himself for partner. In this way he obtains an invitation to attend Mary Ellen's party. In due time the guests arrive, con sisting of the goodhearted but il literate Flanagans, their two child ren and the stranger. There im mediately commences a vigorous suit for the hand of pretty Mary Ellen on the part of Lord Aigy and the stran ger. Mary Ellen shows her prefer ence for the stranger. That night weird things happen. The stranger who has been invited to spend the night, slips into the library in time to see O'Brien much excited over the appearance of a white hand that has deftly poked through the portiers in search of the electric switch. In another instant the stran ger throws O'Brien to the floor and Lord Algy, revolver in hand, stands over them. There is a scuffle and the stranger disappears, gun in hand, through the French window. An hour later Lord Algy, in his room, cau tiously draws a string of pearls from his pockets, only to turn and face the gun of the stranger, who raises his head from the back of Lord Al gy's bed. There follows explanations and the stranger shows his badge as a govern ment secret service agent, long in search of the crook known as Lord Algy. O'Brien rejoices and Mary Ellen slips her hand into that of the "stranger," while Mrs. O'Brien, thor oughly disgusted, hurls a volume of "Who's Who In Society" into the waste basket. Property Changes Hands, Two Important realty deals in local property were made this week, when Henry Vance purchased the residence property of John Sprouls in West Heppner. The consideration was $1000. Edgar Matteson bought three lots in Morrow's addition to the town of Heppner from John Barry for $850. Mr. and Mrs. Norman Florence re turned Saturday evening from a trip of two weeks which took them to Portland and other northwest cities. Frank and Howard Anderson, prominent farmers of Eight Mile, were business visitors in Heppner Tuesday. WANTED By man and wife, a position on stock farm, sheep pre ferred. Thorough knowledge of sheep. No children. Inquire at this office. T t ? t ? ? t t t t f t ? ? ? ? ? t t T ? t t t t t ? t ? ? T t f ? T f t f 1080 ACRES OF DEEDED LAND FOR SALE ONE OF THE BEST COMBINATION RANCHES IN THE COUNTY. 370 acres of this is wheat land now in culti vation. The balance is pasture land, well watered, with government land adjoining. 130 acres fenced hog-tight. $14,500 Good Terms CONSULT SMEAD & CRAWFORD Heppner, Oregon GET THE UP-TO-DATE STYLES, AND The Best In Workmanship And Fabric PEARSON, The Tailor Is now located in his new quarters on Main Street, and is displaying the finest line of sam ples of Fall and Winter suitings ever brought to town. Step in and look them over and make your selection early. :- :- -:- -:- .;. CLEANING, PRESSING, REPAIR WORK HEPPNER WOOD YARD E. E. BEEMAN, Prop. Dealer In Wood and Coal Leave orders with Slocum Drug Co. or phone Main 60. Choice Flour, Feeds, Wood, Coal and Posts, for Sale by HEPPNER FARMERS' IMON WAREHOUSE CO. Handle Wheat and Wool. Highest Price Paid for Hides and Pelts. For a Game of Ten Pins VISIT THE . -. NEW BRUNSWICK SANDERSON & CRAWFORD, PROPS. Pocket Billiards UPPER END OF A. A. ? ? f t T ? T t t t t t ? ? ? f ? T t ? t r t t f t t t t ? ? t t t f t ? t t ? T and a Good Time MAIN STREET.