The gazette-times., December 24, 1914, HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION, Page 16, Image 22

HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION
Stories World Meets With Smiles
16
Tt'LLT MARSHALL, the actor,
elucidates the supernatural In
this wise:
" 'What Is a phenomenon?' asked
one workman of another.
" 'It's like this. Suppose you were
to go out Into the country and see a
field of thistles growing.
" 'Yes.'
" 'Well, that would not be a phe
nomenon!' " 'No, that's quite clear,' agreed
the other man.
-" 'But suppose you were to see a
lark singing away up In the sky.'
" 'Yes.'
" 'Well, that would not be a phe
nomenon!' " 'No, that also seems clear.'
" 'But imagine there Is a bull In
the field.'
" 'Yes.'
" 'Even that would not be a phe
nomenon.' " 'No.'
" 'But, now, Bill, look here. Sup
pose you saw that bull sitting on
them thistles whistling like a lark
well, that would be a phenomenon.' "
Hopeless.
Here's an anecdote of the stork
variety related by Robert Edeson:
"Harry was an only child and the
greatest desire of his heart was for
a baby brother or sister. He pre
ferred a sister and never failed to
ask for one when he said nis evening
prayer.
"Not receiving an answer, he re
moved all restriction by altering his
petition to the following: 'Oh, God,
send us a baby; I don't care whether
It's a boy or a girl, or black or white,
if It's only a baby.'
"Shortly after, the Densmores, who
lived next door, had an addition to
their already large family. Harry's
mamma, noticing that the little boy
no longer prayed for a baby, said to
him one day:
" 'Harry, why is It you don't ask
God for a baby any more?'
" 'Oh, It's no use,' he replied, 'if
one comes along the Densmores'll
gobble It up.' "
He Couldn't Hear a Word.
If you heard a man kissing your
wife would It arouse as much Ire as
it you saw the act? Rose Stahl gives
this version:
"Two sailors were seated at a table
before a cafe. One sailor had a let
ter before him and was reading
aloud, while at the same time the
other sailor held his hands over the
reader's ears. The friendly waiter,
Impelled by curiosity, paused before
the table.
" 'Why,' he asked, 'do you hold
your hands over your friend's ears
while he reads that letter out loud
to you?'
" 'Because,' was the dignified
answer, 'the letter is from my sweet
heart. Jack is reading It because I
can't read myself. That is all right,
but I don't want him to hear a word
of what Is written.' "
stars were rehearsing, and the first
star said:
"Now, In this scene I am supposed
to exit at the rear, while you stand
In front, facing the audience. Now,
what will be your cue to resume your
lines?"
"The look of satisfaction on the
faces of the audience," answered th
second star.
Force of Habit.
"That new hired man of youri
must have been a bookkeeper before
he came to you."
"Why so?"
"Every time he stops work a few
minutes he tries to put the pitchfork
behind his ear."
A Home Thrust.
"All sorts and conditions of men
have excellent explanations for their
positions in life," said the Senator.
"A tramp, however, came under my
observation who had no illusions
about the cause of his own condi
tion. "A fine-looking and fashionably
dressed woman had Just alighted
from her limousine at the hotel en
trance, and was suddenly approached
by this shabbily dressed man who re
quested a dime.
" 'No, I have no money to spare
for you. I don't see why an able
bodied man like you should go about
begging.' "
" 'I s'pose, ma'am,' replied the
lazy tramp, 'it's fer about the same
reason that a healthy woman like
you boards at a hotel instead of
keepin' house.' "
His Cue.
A couple of stars were rehearsing
In a new play. This is a lie, com
ments the reader plays don't have
two stars. Yes, but this was a very
modern play, with a very reckless
manager. They do almost anything
these days.
Well, anyhow, as we were saying
before you interrupted, a couple of
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9
cat. r
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Date
O.W.E.
Dec. 21.
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