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About The gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 24, 1914)
15 HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL. A Fool and His Money By George Barr McCutcheon Copyright, 1018, fay George Bmrr McCutcheon. IIOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION I BROKE In rashly. "If you please, Mr. THus, be good enough to keep your tem per. I have no desire to appear harsh and arbitrary, but I can see that it is necessary to speak nlainlv. There isn't anything In the world I will not do to help you and the Countess in this unfortunate bum n ess, Mrs. Pit us, I hone you believe me when I say as much. I am her friend; I want to be yours if you will let mo. But I reserve t he right to sav what shall he and what shall not be done as ion as you are under my roof. Just a moment. Mr. Titus! I think we are quite agreed that vour sister Is to depart from hero on the fourteenth of the month. I am to o her escort, so to sieak, for a consider, able distance, in company with Mr. Bangs. Well, it must bp clearly understood that not one uf vou is to show his or her faro out side these walls until after that journey Is over. That's blain-speaking, isn't ii?" "1 shall go where I phase, and I'll go to the to An today" roared Colingraft, getting no farther for the reason that his mother, seeing that I was desperately in earnest, leave vont to a tittle crv uf alarm and clutched her blr sun hy the shoulder, bhe beared him to listen to reason! Reason!" he gasped. "If you or sny of you put a foot out side these nails." 1 declared, "you will not bo allowed to re-enter. That's flat!" 'By crick v!" fell In fervent admiration from the line of jtsper. Jr. I glanc-d at Ills beaming, astonished face. He positively wae grinning! 'Good for you! You're a wonder, Mr. Smart! By crick y! And you're dead right. We're darn fools!" "Jasner!" gasped Mrs. Titus. "Good for you, Jasper!" 1 cried warmly, and took the hand he proffered. "Colingraft. please take me to my room." murmured the mother. "I I feel faint. Bend for Aline. Ask Mr. Bangs to come to me at once " I bowed stiffly. I am sorry, Mrs, Tltua, to have been so harsh, so assertive " She held uo both hands. "I never was so spoken to in all my life. Mr. Smart. I shall not forget It to my dying day." She walked away from me, her Fretty head held hltrh and, her chin suspiciously aqulver. Colingraft hastened after her, but not without giving me a stare in which rage and wonder struggled for the mastery. I ran my hand over my moist brow, "Gee!" said Jasper. Jr. "You've corked her ail right, all right." He followed ine Intj the study and 1 couldn't get rid of him lor hours. Later in the forenoon the Countess, with a uucer little smile on her lips, told ma that her mot her considered me the most wonderful, the most forceful character she had ever encountered. I brightened up at that. But Colingraft was not yet through with, me. e CHAPTER XVII. I Bee to the Bottom of Things: Vie souEht me out lust before luncheon. I was in the courtyard, listening patiently to Jasper. Jr.'s theories and suggestions conrei nlng the restoration of the entire facade of the castle, and what he'd do If ha were In aiv nlace. Strange to say, I was considerably entertained; he was not at all offensive: on the contrary, he offered his ideas In a pleasantly Ingenuous way, always supplementing them with some such salve as: "Don't vou think to, Mr. Smart?" or "I'm uuro vou have thought of It yourself." or "Isn't that vour idea, too?" or "You've done wonders with the loint, old man." iiiincrriift t-ame direct Iv un to where we were standing. There was trouble In his eye. "See here. Mr. Smart." he began austerely. "I've not something to say io you. and I'm not the sort to put it off. I appreciate what vou've done for Aline and sll that Hurt of thine, but your manner today has been Intolerable, and we've got to come to an understanding." I eved him closely. "I auppose you're about to siiEnest that one of the other of us must evacuate get out, bo to speak," said I. Don' talk rubbish. You've got my mother hawliiier he eye upstairs, and wishing "he were dead. You've got to come off this high horse of vours. You've got to npologiite to her. and damned quick, at that. Understand?" "Nothing will five me greater Joy than to offer h" mv most abject apology. Mr. Titus, unless It would be her unqualified forgiveness." You'll have to withdraw everything you said." , ... "I'll withdraw everything except my ulti. matum in respect to her putting a foot outside- these waits. That still stands.' "T he to differ with you." "You mav bar till you're Mack In the fae." said T coolly. Ho swallowed hard. His ace twitched, end his bunds were clenched. "You are nrettv much of a murker, Mr. Smart,' he said, between his teeth. "T m parry my sister has fallen Into your hands. The worst of H is. sho seems satisfied with evcrvtblng vou do. Good Lord! What the can see In you Is beyond my comprehension. Protection! Whv you couldn't protect her from the asaault of a chicken." "Arc you trvtng to insult me, Mr. Titus? "You couldn't resent It if I were. There never was an author with enough moral backbone to-" 14 ''Walt' You are her brother. I don't want to have 'trouble with vou. Put If you keep on In this strain. Mr Titus. I shall be com pelled to thresh you soundly." Ho fairlv gnsoed. "Th thresh met" he choked out. Then he advanced. Much to his surprise nnd, slrnngely enough, not to mv own I fulled to retreat. Instead. I extended mv left flat with con siderable abruptness and precision and he 'landed on his back. ' I experienced ft sensation of unholy Joy. 1TD to that moment I hod wondered whether 1 could do it with mv left hand. I lOOkea 8t jaspor, .ir. no nun oiaiiiiH v na In utter bewilderment. "(lOOd LOrUI PU JUU vu tviiui-iveu mm flo w n ' "I 'didn't think I could do It," said I hlHV'spranor to his brother's side, and as sisted him to a sitting nosture. "Right to the Jaw," shouted Jasper, with $, strange enthusiasm. "T,eft." I corrected hlm: Colingraft gaxed about Mm In a stupid, vacant fashion for a moment, and (hen al lowed Ms glazed eves to res); upon me. He sat rather limply. I thought. "rA vou hurt. Collv?" cried Jasper, Jr. A slcklv grin, more of surprise than name, stole over Collngraft's face. He put his hand to hie law; then to the back of '"Bv Jove!" ho murmured. "t T didn't think he had U In Mm. Let m get up!" Jaswr. Jr. was discreet, "Better let well enough alone, old" "I Intend to." said Colingraft, at he struggled" to his feet. p,,r a moment fc faced me, uncertainly. "I'm sorry, Mr. Titus." snld I calmly. "You vou are a wonder!" fell from Ms lips. 'I'm not a coward. Mr. Smart. I've boxed a good deal In my lime, but by jovrt. I never had a lolt like that." He turned abruptly and left us. Wo fol lowed him slowly toward the steps. At the bottom he stopped and faced me again. "You're a better man than I thought," he said. "If you'll bury the hatchet, to will I. I take back what I said to you, not because I'm afraid of vou. but because I respect you. What say? Will you shake hands?" The surly, arrogant expression was gone from hlB face. In Ha niace was a puzzled, somewhat Inquiring look. , "N'o hard feeling on my part," I cried gladly. We shook hands. Jasper, Jr. slapped ine on th hack. "It's a most distressing, atavistic habit I'm setting into, knocking people down without rhyme or reason." "I daresav you had reason," muttered Colingraft. "I got what was coming to me." An eager light crept into his handBome eves. "By Jove, we can get in some corking work with the gloves while I'm here. I box cum a bit at home, and I mist It traveling about like this. What say to a half-hour or ao every day? I have the gloves in one of my trunks. I'm getting horriblv seedy. I need stirring up." "Charmed. I'm sure," I said, assuming an enthusiasm I did not feci. Put on the plovea with this strapping, skillful boxer? Not 11 I was firmlv resolved to stop while my record was good. In a scientific clash with the gloves be would soon find out what a miserable dutfer I was. "And Jappy, here. It no slouch, He's as sliiftv as the dickens." "The shiftier the better," said I. with great aplomb. Jasper. Jr.. stuck out his chest nioiieiitly. and said: "Oh, piffle. Colly." But lust the same I hadn't the least doubt in mv mind that Jasper could "put It all over me." It was a rather sickening admit, aion, though strictly private. We rnaiio our way to my study, where I mildly suggested that we refrain from men tioning our little encounter to Mrs. Titus or the Countess. I thought Colingraft was especially pleasud with the idea. We swore secret v. "I've always been regarded as a peaceful, harmless grub," I explained, still somewhat bewildered by the feat I had performed, and considerably shaken by the fear that I whs degenerating into a positive ruffian, "t'ou will believe me. I hope, when I de clare that I was merely acting In self-defense when T " He actually laughed. "Don't apologise." He could not resist the Impulse to blurt out once more: "By Jove I didn't think you could do it." "With my left hand, too," I'eaid wonder Ingty. fetching myself up, I hastily changed the subject A little later on. as Colingraft left the room, slyly feeling of his Jaw," Jasper, Jr., whispered to me excitedly: "You've got him eatfn out of your hand, old top." Things were coming- to a pretty pass, said I to mvself when I waa all alone. It cer tainly is a prettv pass when one knocks down the ex-husband and the brother of the woman he loves, and Quite without the least suspicion of an inherited pugnacity. had a little note from the Countess that afternoon, ceremoniously delivered by Helena Marie imise Antoinette, It read as follows: "You did colingraft a very good turn when you laid him low this morning. He Is tlre somely interested In his prowess as a box maker, or a boxster, or whatever it Is In athletic narlance. He has been like a lamb all afternoon and he really can't ret over the way vou whacked him. (Is what the word? i At first he was as mum as could he about it. but I think he really felt relieved when 1 told him I had seen the whole af fair from a window Hi my hall. You see it gave him a chance to explain how you got In the whack, and I have been obliged to listen to intermittent lectures on the manly urt of self-defense all afternoon, first from him, then from Jappy. I have a headache, and no means of defense. He admits that he deserved it. but I am not surprised. Colly la a sporting chap. He hasn't a mean drop of blood In his body. You have made a friend of him. So please don't feel that I held a grudge against you for what you did. The ftinnv nart of It all is that mamma quite agrees with him. She says he de served it! Mamma is wonderful, really, when it comes to a o!nch. She has given up all thought of 'putting a foot outside the castle.' Can you have luncheon with us to morrow? Would it bo too much trouble If we were to have It in the loggia? I am Just mad to get out-of-doors if only for an hour or two In that walled-in spot. Mr. Poopen dyke has been perfectly lovely. He came up this morning to tell me that you haven't sneezed at all and there Isn't the remotest chance now that vou will have a cold. It, seems ho was afraid you might. You must have a very rugged constitution. Brit ton told Blako that most men would have died from exposure if they had been put In your place. How- good you are to me. "A LINK T. "P. ?. I may come down to see you this evening." I shall skip over the rather uninteresting event? of the next two or three days. Noth. Ing of ronseouence happened, unless you are willing to consider Important two per fectly blissful nights of sleep on my part. Also. I had the pleasure of taking the fuunteps "out walking" in mv courtyard, to use a cdloouiailsm: once In the warm, sweet sunshine, again 'ncath the glow of a radiant moon. Sho had not been outside the castle walls, literally, in more than five weeks, and the color leaped hack Into her cheeps with a rush that delighted me. I may mention in passing that I paid particu lar attention to her suggestion concerning my dilapidated, gone-to-seed garden, al I hough T had been bored to extinction by Jasper. Jr. when he undertook to enlighten me hortlc.iHurally. She agreed to come forth everv day and assist me in building the noor thing no: propping It, bo to speak. As for Mrs. Titus, that really engaging ladv made life bo easy for me that I won dered whv I had ever been apprehensive. She was milto wonderful when "It camo to a pinch." I began to understand a good litnuv things about her. chief among them being her unvoiced theories on matrimony. While she did not actually commit herself. I had no difficulty In ascertaining that, from her point of view, marriages are not made In heaven, and that a properly ar ranged divorce is a great deal less terrestrial than It Is commonly supposed to be. She believed matrimony as a trial and divorce as a reward, or something to that effect. Mv opinion seemed to carry considerable weight with her. For a day or two after our somewhat sanguinary encounter, she was prone to start even to Jump slightly when I addressed myself to her with unin tentional directness. She soon got over lhf:t. however. We were discussing A line's unfortunate venture Into the utate of matrimony and T, feeling temporarily august and superior, managed to sav tli wrong thing and in doing so nut mvself In n position from which I couid not recede without Iors of dignity. If mv memorv serves me correctly I re marked, with some asperity, that marriages of that kind never turned out well for any oim except the bridegroom. She looked at me coldly. "I am afraid, Mr. Smart, that you have been putting some very bad notions into my daughter's heed," she ?ald. "Had notion!?" I murmured. "Hhe has developed certain pronounced and raihr extraordinary views concerning the nobility as the result of your ah argument I may say." "I'm very soru". I know one or two ex ceedingly nice noblemen, and I've no doubt there are a great many more. She must have misunderstood mo. I wasn't running down the nobility. Mrs. Titus. 1 was merely questioning the advisability of elevating it in the wav we Americans sometimes do." "You did not put H so adroitly in dis cussing the practice with Aline," she said quickly. "Granted that her own morria:;e was a mistake. a dreadful mistake, it does no; follow that all International matches are failures. I would just as soon be unhappily married to a duke as to a dry-gojds merchant. Mr. Smart." "But not at the same price, Mrs. Titus," I remarked. She smiled. "A husband is dear at any price." "I shouldn't out It Just that way," I protested. "A good American husband i a necessity, not a luxury." "Well, to go back to what I started to say, Allue is very bitter about matrimony as viewed from my point of view, I am sorry to sav I attribute her attitude to your ex cellent counseling." "You flatter me. I was under the impres sion she took her lessons of Tarnowsy." "Granted. But Tarnowsy was unfit. Why tar all of them with the same stick? Taere are good ioblemen, you'll admit." "But they don't need rehabilitation." "Aline, I fear, will never risk another ex periment. It's rather calamitous, isn't it? Wheu one stops to consider her youth, beauty and all the happiness theiu may "I beg your pardon, Mrs. Titus, but I think vour fears are groundless. "What do you meen?" "The Countess will marry again. I am not betravlne a secret, becauso sue lias In timated as much to my secretary a well as to me. I take It that as soon as this unhappy affair is settled, she will be free to reveal the true state of her feelings to ward " I stopped, somewhat dismayed by inv garrulous turn, "Toward whom?" she fairly snapped. "I don't know," I replied truthfully and, I fear, lugubriously. "Good heaven!" she cried, starting up from the bench on which we were sitting in the loggia. There was a queer expres sion In her eves. "Hasn't hasn't Bhe ever hinted at hasn't she mentioned any one at all?" "Not to me." Mrs. Ti'-us was aeiiated, I could see that very plainly. A thoughtful frown appeared on her smooth brow, and a gleam of anxiety sprang into her eves. "I am sure that she has had no oppor tunity to" She did not complete the sen-te-nce. in which there was a primary note of perplexity and wonder. It grilled me to discover that she did not even so much as take me into considera tion. "You mean since the er divorce?" I in quired. "rib o has been in seclusion all of the time. She has seen tio man, that is to say, no roan for whom she could possibly enter tain a But, of course, you are mistaken in your impression, Mr. Smart. There is ab solutely nothing in what you say." "A former sweetheart, antedating her marriage," 1 suggested hopelessly. "She has no sweetheart, uf that I am positive," said sho with conviction. "She must have had an army nf admirers. They were lesion after hr martiage, I may be pardoned for reminding you.' Sho started, "Has she never mentioned Lord Amberdale to you?" she asked. "Ambcrdale?" I repeated, w ith a queer sinking of the heart. "No, Mrs. Titus. An Englishman ?" She was mistress of herself once moro. In a very de-gnge manner she informed mo that his lordship, a most attractive and honorable young Englishman, had been one of Aline's warmest friends at the time of the divorce proceedings. But, of course, there was nothing In that! They had been good friends for years, nothing more, and ho was a nerfect dear. But she couldn't fool me. I could see that there was something working at the back ot. her mind, but whether she was distressed or gratified 1 was not by way of knowing. "I've never heard her mention Lord Am berdale," said 1. Her eyes narrowed slightly. Hod I but known, the mere fact that the Count ess had not spoken of his lordship provided her experienced mother with un excellent reason for believing that there was some thing between them. She abruptly brought the conversation to a close and left me, saying that she was off for her beauty nap. Alone. I soon became a prey to certain disquieting thoughts. Summed up, they re solved themselves Into a condition of cer tainty w hlch admitted of but one aspect: the charming Countess was in love with Amberdale. And the shocking part of It all waa that she was in love with him prior to her reparation from Tarnowsy! I felt a cold perspiration start out all over my body ns (his condition forced . Itself upon me. He was the man : he had been the man from the beginning. My heart wss like lead for the rest of the day, and, very curiously, for a leaden thing it was subject to nafn. Just before dinner, Brltton, after inspect. Ing me out of the corner of his eye for some time, advised me to try a little brandy. "You look seedy, sir he said with con cern In his voice. "A cold setting in per haps, sir." I tried the brandy, but not because I thought I was taktnir a cold. Somehow it warmed mo up. There is virtue in good spirits. The Countess was abroad very early the next mornng. I discovered her in the court yard, riving directions to Max and Rudolph who were doing some spading in the gar den. She looked very bright and trah and enticing In the light of an early moon, and I was not only pleased but astonished, having been led lo believe n!l mv life that a woman, no matter how pretty she may be, appears at her worst when the day is young. I joined her at once. Sho gave me a gay, accusing smile. "What have you beon saying to mother?" sho demanded, as sho sho-dt hands with me, "I thought you were to be trusted." I flushed uncomfortably, "I'm sorry, Countess. I I didn't know U was a se cret." She looked at me somewhat quizzically for a moment. Then she laughed softly, "It is a secret." "I hope I haven't got you into bad odor with your" "Oh. dear me. no! I'm not In the least worried over whnt mother may think. I shall do as I please, so there's the end of it." I swallowed something thnt seemed to be stinking In mv throat, "Then it is true that vou arc going to marry" "Oulte." she Rnid succinctly. I was silent for a moment, "W 11, I'm I'm glad to know it In time," I "said, rather mom gruffly than was necessary. She smiled too merrily. I thought. "You must not tell any ono else about it, how ever." - "I can promise that," I said, a sullen rs in my soul. "Devils could not drag It out of me. Rest easy." It occurred to me afterwards that she laughed rather Jerkily, you might say un easily. At any rate, she turned away and began speakine to Max. "Have vuu bad your breakfast?'' I asked stupidly. "No." ."Neither have I. will you join me?" "Isn't It awning to be a habit?" "Breakfast or vou?" "Breakfast and me." "1 confess, mv dear Countess, that I like you for breakfast." I said gallantly. "That is a real tribute." she said demure ly, and to fk her place beside me. Together we crossed the courtyard. On the steps Colingraft Titus was stand ing, i uttered an audible groan and winced as if iu dire nafn. "What is It ?" she cried quickly, "Rheumatism." I announced, carefully raising mv riant arm and affecting an ex pression of torture. I am not a physical coward, kind reader. The fact that young Mr. Titus carried in his hands a set of formidable looking boxing-gloves did not frighten me. Heaven knows, if It would give him any pleasure to siara me about with a pair of gloves, I am not without manliness and pluck enough to endure phy sical nain and mental humiliation. It was diplomacy, cunning, astuteness, whatever you mav choose to caJI it, that stood be tween me and a friendly encounter with him. Two minutes time would serve to convince him that he was my master, and then where would I be? Where would be the prestige I had gained ? Where my record as a conqueror? "I must have caught cold In my arms and shoulders." I went on, making worse faces than before as I moved the afflicted parts experimentally, "There!" she exclaimed ruefully. "I knew you woull catch cold. Men always do. I'm so sorry." "It's nothing." I made haste to explain: "that is, nothing serious. I'll get rid of it in no time at all." I calculated for a min ute. "A week or ten days at the most. Good morning. Colingraft." 'Morning. Hollo, sis. Well" He dangled the cloves before my eyes. Mv disappointment was quite pathetic. "Tell him." I said to the Countess. "He's ail crippled up with rheumatism, Colly." she said. "Put those ugly things a way. We're goinsr in to breakfast." He tossed the gloves into a corner of the vestibule. I felt a little ashamed of my subterfuge in the face of his earnest ex pression of concern. "Tell you what Til do." he said warmly. "I know how to rub a fellow's muscles" "Oh. I have a treasure in Britton," said I, hastily. "Thanks, old man. He will work it out of me. Sorry we can't have a go this morning." The worst of It all was that he insisted, as a matter of personal education, on comtne to mv room after breakfast to watch the expert maneuvers of Britton in kneading the stiffness out of my muscles. He was looking for new Ideas, he explained. I first consulted Britton and then resignedly con sented to the demonstration. To mv surprise, Britton was something of an expert. T confess that he almost killed me with those strong, iron-like hands of his: if I was not sore when be began with me. I certainly was when he finished. Colingraft was most enthusiastic. He sala he'd never seen anv one manipulate the muscles so cientificslly as Britton, and ventured the opinion that he would not have to repeat the operation often. To my self I said that he wouldn't have to repeat it at all. We bo-rnn laving our plans for the four teenth. Communications arrived from Italv, addressed to me but Intended for either the Countess or the rather remote Mr. Bangs, who seemed better qualified to efface him self than any human being I've ever seen. These letters informed us that a yacht-tone of three now cruising in the Mediter ranean would call at an appointed port on such and such a day to take her out to sea. Everything was being arranged on the out side for her wnue from tho continent, and precision seemed to be tho watchword Of course I couldn't do n stroke of work on mv novel. How could I be expected ru devote mvself to fiction when fact was staring me in the face so engagingly? We led an Idle. Oolce fur niente life in these days, with an underlying touch of anxiety and excitement that Increased as the day for her departure drew near. I confess to a sickenitis sense of depression that could not be shaken off. Half of mv lime was sn nt In plavfng with Ttosemarv. She became deafer to mo with each succeeding day. I knew I should miss her trenu'ndouslv. I should even miss Jinko, who didn't like me. but who no longer growled at me. The castle would be a verv gloomv. drear place after they were out of it. I found mvself wondering how long I would be able to endure the loneliness Se eretlv I cherished the Idea of selling tho Place if I could find a lunatic in the mar ket An unexpected, diversion came one day when, without warning and figuratively out of a clear t-kv, the Hansards and the Billy Smiths swooped down upon me. Thev had come un the river in the power boat 'for a final September run. and planned to stop over r.itfht with me! They were the last people In the world whom I could turn away from mv door. There inkht have beon a ohanco to put them un for the night and still avoid dis closures, had not circumstances ordered that the Countess ntid I should be working In the tarilen at tho very moment that broupht them pounding at the postern gates. Old Conrad opened the pate in complete Ignorance ,of our presence in the garden. (Wo happened to be in a somewhat obscure nook nnd seated upon a sfine bench -90 he must be held blameless. The quartet brushed past the n!! nrtn and I, hearing their chatter, foolishly exposed my. self. I shall not attempt to describe the scene that followed their discovery of the Countess Tarnowsy. Ho it said, however, to the credit of Elsie tind Bcttv Hilly, the stariled refugee was fairlv smothered in kisses and tears and almost deafened by the shrill, dellphuid ex clamations that fell from their eager lips. I doubt if there ever was such a sensation before! Thev brought rather interesting news con cerning the Count. It appears that he and tho Baron had qunrreled nnd at the time of mv friends' depart ore from Vienna It was prettv generally understood that thcro would bo a duel. "I never liked the Baron," I ta!d, with a grim smile that could not have been misin terpreted, "but 1 hope to heavens he Isn't killed." Mrs. Titus sighed. "Tarnowsy Is regarded as a wonderful marksman." "Worse luck!" crow led Colingraft, filoom- II y twlddllm his thumbs. "What kind of a shot Is the Baron" asked Jasper, Jr , hopefully. No .one was able to enlUlitf-n him, but BUlv Smith shook Jiis head dolefully. "Maris Tarnowsy is a dead .hot. IIo'U pot the Baron sure." "Itaitg it all." said I, and then lapsed Into n horrified silence. , iTo Be Continued.)
