Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 3, 1914)
HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SEOTTOIT HI By Geo. Ban McCtrtcheon HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL. A Fool and His Money Copyright, 1913, JSj Geo. Ban MeCutcheon. 0 4$53$$e SYNOPSIS OP PREVIOUS INSTALLMENTS. $ In thfl ooeninff inet&lmnta nf A Fool mil Bit Money," Geo. Ban lie- Cntcheon't charming norel, aerial rlghtt for which hare been specially $ obtained fur the Home and Farm $ Magasine Section, we learn of John $ Bellamy Smart, the young man who $ la telling thii itory. He haa Jut written hit first novel, aid at the arae time hat fallen heir to an im- A mense fortune loft him by bit uncle. Alter a visit to London, Smart takes a trin on the River Danube. ft After finding an old-world town, he $ omsovera an anelent eaatle, which Us s pnrchaaet from itt owner, the Count. g With hit secretary, Poopendyke, he $ takes potteation of the immente Itrocture, which It inppoted to be tenanted onlv hv the e&rtkfr mil 9 hit family, the Schmickt. Later Smart rinds a woman who it in possession $ 01 a wing ot the eaatle that it barred to him. She grantt a brief interview, but refutea to leave. The aervanta appear to be In league with her, and 3 smart it in a quandary. Later he it captivated by the wit and beauty of the mysterious lady and no lonzer urgei ner departure. He findt that S the it divorced from a worthleia and J scheming Austrian Oonnt, who wat $ awarded tne custody of the lady't child. The Count demands a million dollara from his rich American father- in-law, wnen he would give it up. The momer abducts the child and selects the eattle at a hiding place. Smart $ leant trouble with the authoritiea. but decides to atsist the fair divorcee, 3 aitnougn ane warnt him of the danger. A number of visitors makes 6 it difficult to keep tecret the pret- $ ence of the Countest in the castle. ELSIE invited all of ub to a welsh rarebit party she was giving at eleven-thirty, and then they got to work at the bridge table, poor George Hazzard catting in occasionally. This left Billy Smith and me free to make up a somewhat somnolent two tome. I was eager to steal away to the east wing with the news, but how to dispose ot Billy without appearing rude was more than I could work out. It was ab solutely necessary for the Countess to know that her ex-husband was in the castlo. I would have to manage in some way to see her before the evening was over. The least carelessness, the small est slip might prove the undoing of both of us. I wondered how Bhe would take the dismal news. Would sho become hys terical and go to pieces? Would the prospect of a week of propinquity be too much for her, even though thick walls intervened to put them into sepa rate worlds? Or. worst ot all, would she reveal an uncomfortable spirit of brava do, rashly casting discretion to the winds in order to show him that she Was not the timid, beaten coward he night suspect her of being! Bhe had once said to me that she loathed a eoward. I have always wondered how it felt to be in a "pretty kettle of fish," or a "pickle," or any of the synonymous predicaments. Now I knew. Nothing could have been more synchronous than j the plural howdy-do that confronted me. My nervousness mui.t have been out rageously pronounced. Pacing the floor, looking at one s watch, sighing pro foundly, putting one's hands in the pockets and taking them out again al most immediately, letting questions go by unanswered, and all such, are actions or conditions that usually produce the impression that one is nervous. A dis cerning observer seldom fails to note the symptoms. Mr. Smith said to mo at nine-sixtecn (I know it T.as exactly nine-sixteen to the second) with polite conviction in his fjniilc: "You seem to have something on your mind, old chap." Now no one but a true diplomat recog nizes the psychological moment for call ing an almost total stranger "old ehap." "I have, old fellow," said Ir im mensely relieved by his perspicuity. "I ought to get off five or six very im portant letters to" Ho interrupted me with a genial wave of his hand. "Run along and get 'em off," he said. "Don't mind mc. I'll look over the magazines," Ten minutes later I was sneaking tip the interminable stairways in the sepulchral east wing, lighting and re lighting a tallow candle with grim patience nt every other landing and luridly berating the drafts that swept the passages. Mr. Poopendyke stood guard below at the padlocked doors, holding the keys. He was to await my signal to reopen them, but he was not to release me under any circumstance if snoopers were abroad. My secretary was vastly disturbed by the news I imparted. He was so startled that he forgot to tell me that he wouldn't spend another night on a pile of rugs with Britton as a bed fel low, an omission which gave Britton the opportunity to anticipate him by almost giving mo notice that very night. (The upshot of it was the hasty acquisition of two brand new iron beds the next day, and the restoration of peace in my domestic realm.) . Somewhat timorously I knocked at the Countess' door. I realized that it was a most unseemly hour for calling on a young, beautiful and unprotected lady, but the exigencies of the moment lent moral support to my invasion. After waiting five minutes and then knocking again so loudly that the sound reverberated through the empty halls with a sickening elatter, I heard some one fumbling with the bolts. The door opened an inch or two. The Countess' French maid peered out at me. "Tell your mistress that I must see her at once." "Madame is not at home, m'sieur, " said the young woman. "Not at hornet" I gasped. "Where is she?" "Madame has gone to bed." "Uh," 1 said, blinking. "Then she is at home. Present my compliments and ask her to get up. Something very exasperating has hap" "Madame has request me to inform m'Bieur that she knows the Count is here, and will you bo so good as to call tomorrow morning." "What! She knows he's here? Who brought the information!" 1 he bountiful Max, m 'sieur. He bring it with dejeuner, again with dinner, and but now with the hot water, m'sieur." "Oh, I sec," said I profoundly. "In that ease, I sha'n't disturb her. How er how did she take itt" She gave me a severely reproachful look. "bhe took it as usual, m'sieur. In that dreadful littlo tin tub old Con rad" "Good heavens, girl! I mean the news the news about the Count." "Mon diou! I thought m'sieur refer to But yes! She take it beautifully. I too mean the news. Madame is not afraid. Has Bhe not the good, brave m'sieur to what you call it to shoul der all the worry, not She is not alarm. She reads m 'sieur 's latest book in bed, smoke the cigarette, and she say what the divil do she earc." "What!" "Non, no! I, Helene Marie Louise Antoinette, say it for Madame. Par don! Pardon, m'sieurl It is I who am wicked." Very stiffly and ceremoniously I ad vised caution for the next twelve hours, and saying good night to Ilelone Marie Louise Antoinette in an unintentionally complimentary whisper, took myself off down the stairs, pursued by an equally subdued bon soir which made me feel like a soft-stepping Lothario. ow it may occur to you that any self-respecting gentleman in possession of a castle and a grain of common sense would have set about to find.out the true names of the guests beneath his roof. The task would havo been a simple one, there is no doubt of that. A peremptory command with a rigid alternative would have brought out the truth in a jiffy. But it so happens that I rather en joyed the mystery. The situation was unique, the comedy most exhilarating. Of course, there was a tragic sido to tho whole matter, but now that I was in for it, why minimize the novelty by adopting arbitrary measures? Three minutes of stern conversation with Ekie Hazzard would enlighten me on all the essential points; perhaps half an hour would bring Toopendyko to terms; a half a day might be required in the browbeating of the frail Countess. With the Sehmieks, there was no hope. But why not allow myself tho pleasure of enjoying the romantvc feast that had been set before me by the gods of ehaneet Chance ordered the tangle; let ehanee unravel it Somewhat gleefully I decided that it would be good fun to keep myself in the dark as long as possible! "Mr. Poopendyke," said L, after that nervous factotum had let me into my side of the eastle with gratifying stcalthiness, "you will oblige me by not mentioning that fair lady's name in my presence." "Yon did not stay very long, sir," said be in a sad whisper, and for the life of me I couldn't determine what construction to put upon the singularly unresponsive remark. When I reached the room where my guests were assembled, I found Mr. Pless and the Baron TTmovitcb. engaged in an acrimonious dispute over a ques tion of bridge etiquette. The former had resented a sharp criticism coming from the latter, and they were waging a verbal battle in what I took to be five or six different tongues, none of which appeared to bear the slightest relationship to the English language. Suddenly Mr. Pless threw his cards down and left the table, without a word of apology to the" two ladies, who looked more hurt than appalled. He said he was going to bed,' but I noticed that he took himself off in the direction of the moonlit loggia. We were still discussing his defection in subdued tones with the exception of the irate baron when he re-entered the room. The expression on his face was mocking, even accusing. Directing his words to me, he uttered a lazy indict ment "Are there real spirits in your castle, Mr. Smart, or havo you flesh and blood mediums here who roam about in white night dresses to study the moods of the moon from the dizziest ramparts?" I started. What indiscretion had the Countess been up to! "I don't quite understand you, Mr. Pless," I said, with a politely blank stare. Confound his insolence! He winked at me! " CHAPTER VIII I Resort to Diplomacy, Y DEAR COUNTESS," said I, the next morning, "while I am willing to admit that all you say is true, there still remains the un happy fact that you were very near to upsetting everything last night. Mr. I'less saw you quite plainly. The moon was very full, you'll remember. For tunately he was too far awav from your window to recognize you. Think how easy it might " "But I've told you twice that I held my hand over Pinko's nose and he just couldn t bark, Mr. Smart. You are really most unreasonable about it. The dog had to have a breath of fresh air." "Why not send him up to the top of the tower and let hira run around on the" "Oh, there's no use talking about it any longer," sho said wearily. "It is all over and no real harm was done. am awfully sorry if thev made it un comfortable for you. It is just like him to suggest something well, scandalous. And the rest of them are dreadful teases, especially Mrs. Smith. They love anything risque. But you haven't told me what they said that kept you awake all night." My dignity was worth beholding. "It was not what thev said to me, Countess, but what they left unsaid. I sha'n't tell you what they said." "I think I can make a pretty good guess " 'Well, you needn't!" I cried hastily, but too late. Sho would out with it. 'They accuse you of being a sad, Bad dog, a foxy bachelor, and a devil of a fellow. They all profess to be very much shocked, but they assure you that t's all right not to mind them. They didn't think you had it in you, and they 're glad to see you behaving like a scamp. Oh, I know them!" As a matter of fact, she was pretty near to being right. "The more rea son for you to be cautious and circum spect," said I boldly. "Tray think of my position, if not your own." She gave mo a queer little look and then smiled brightly. (She is lovely!) i "111 promise to be good," she said. I only ask yon to be careful," said I, blunderingly. She laughed aloud- her merriest, most distracting gurgle. "And now will you be good enougS to tell me who I am?" she asked, after a few minutes. "That is, who am I supposed to be?" "Oh," said I uneasily, "you ar really nobody. You are Britton 's wife." "What! Does Britton know it?" "Yes," said I, with a wry smile. "He took a mean advantage of mo in the presence of George Hazzard not an hour ago, and asked for a raise in wages on account of his wife's illness. It seems that you are an invalid." "I hope he hasn't forgotten the baby in his calculations." "He hasn't, you may be sure. Ho has named the baby after me." "How original! " "I thought it rather clever to change Rosemary's sex for a few days," said -I. "Moreover, it will be necessary for Britton to take Max's place as your personal servant. He will fetch your meals and " "Oh, I can't agree to that, Mr. Smart," she cried with decision.' "I must have Max. He is " "But Britton must have some sort of a pretext for " "Nonsense! No one cares about Britton and his sick wife. Let well enough alone." "I IH think it over, Countess," said I weakly. 1 "And now tell me all about Mr. Pless. How is he looking? Does he appear to be unhappy?" There was a curious note in her voice, as of anxiety or eagernesSj it was hard to tell which. In any case, I found myself inwardly resenting her interest in the Bneering Hungarian. (1 had .discovered that he was not an Austrian). There was a queer sinking sensation in the region of my heart, and a slight chill. Could it be possible that she But no! It was preposterous! "He appears to be somewhat senti mental and preoccupied. He gazes at the moon and bites his nails." "I I wish I eould have a peep at him some time without being " "For heaven's sake, don't even con sider such a thing," I cried in alarm, ' ' Just a little peek, Mr. Smart, ' ' b)m pleaded. "No!" said I firmly. "Very well," she said resignedly, fixing me with hurt eyes. "I'm sorry to be such a bother to you." "I believo you'll go back to him, after all," I said angrily. "Women are all alike. They " "Just because I want to see how un happy he is, and enjoy myself a little, you say horrid things to me," she cried, almost pathetically. "You treat me very badly." "There is a great deal at stake," said I. "The peril is well, it's enor mous. I am having the devil's own time heading off a scheme they've got for exploring the entire castle. Your hus your ex-husband says he knows of a secret door opening into this part of the" She sprang to her feet with' a sharp cry of alarm. " Heavens! I I forgot about that! There is a secret panel and heaven save us! it opens directly into my, bedroom!" Her eyes were very wida and full of consternation. She gripped my arm. "Come! Be quick! We must pile something heavy against it, or nail it up, or do something." She fairly dragged me out into the eorridor, and then, picking up her dainty skirts, pattered down the rickety stairs at so swift a pace that I had some difficulty in keeping her pink figure in sight. Why is it that woman can go downstairs so much fas ter than a man? I've never been able to explain it. She didn't stumble once, or miss a step, while I did all manner of clumsy things, and once came near to pitching headlong to the bottom. Wo went down and down and round and round so endlessly that I was not only gasping but reeling. (To Be Continued.) v " Russia this year has more than twi million acres planted to sugar beota, Last year the total acreage was slight ly over a million and a half.
