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About The gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925 | View Entire Issue (July 9, 1914)
ITOME AM) FARM MAGAZINE SECTION" 13 By Geo.1 Barr McCutcheon SYNOPSIS OP PREVIOUS INSTALLMENTS. In the opening instalments of "A Fool and His Money," Goo, Barr Me Ciitcheon's charming novel, serial rights for which have been specially obtained for the Home and Farm Magazine Section, we learn of John Bellamy Smart, the young man who Is telling this story. He has Just written his first novel, and at the same time haB fallen heir to an im mense fortune left him by his uncle. He is 35 years of age. After a visit to London, Smart takca a trip on the River Danube. After finding an old-world town, he divera an ancient castle, which be purchases from its owner, the Count Wilh his secretary, Poopendyke, he taking possession of the immense structure, which is supposed to be tenanted only by tho caretaker and his family, tho Schmjcks. To Smart's amazement, the first night, ho hears the cry of a baliy. Later he discovers a woman's fare at a:i upper window. Ho is ti much interested to attend to his earreeojiicletiee, us is desired by his secretary. Smart determines to sylvc tho nij'Btery of tho cast wing of the ensile and enters a window by means of a laddr.'. He is blocked by a stunt door on which is pinned a note reading: "fMeaao keep out. This is fjrirate property." Later he meets the w.jm-in, win greatly puzzles him. ' ? $ J $s $ $ CHAPTER IV. I Become, an Ancestor. TRUE to tha promise she had extract ed from me, I lr.id off my work men the next morning. They trooped in bright and early, consider ably augmented by fresh recruits who fame to sharo the benefits of my in nocuous prodigality, and if I live to be a thousand I t,liall never again experi ence such a noisome half hour as the one spent in listening to their, indig nant protests against iny tyranical op pression of the -poor and needy. In the end, 1 agreed to pay them, one and all, for a full day's work, and they went away mollified, calling me' a true gentle man to my face and heaven knows what to my back. I spoke gently to them of the sick baby. With one voice they all shout ed: "But our babies are sick!" Ono octogenarian a carpenter's ap prentice heatedly informed ine, through Schmick, that he had a child two weeks old that would die before morning if deprived of proper food and nourish ment. Somewhat impressed by this piti ful lament, I enquired how his wife was gctitig along. Tho ancient, being in a placid state of senility, courteous ly thanked me for my interest, and an swered that she had been dead for forty-nine years, como September, 1 overlooked the slight discrepancy. During tho remainder of the day, I insisted on the utmost qniet in our wing of tbo castle. Poopendyko was obliged to tako his typewriter out to the Btables, where I dictated scores of let ters to him. I caught Britton whistling in tho kitchen about noon time, and severely reprimanded him. We went quite to tho extreme, however, when we tiptoed about our lofty halls. All of the afternoon wo kept a sharp lookout for the doctor, but it he came we were note the wiser. Britton went ibto the towi, at three W'th the letters rind a telegram to my friends in Vienna, imploring them to look up a corps of efficient ser vants for me and to send them on post haste. I would have included a request foT a competent nurse-maid if it hadn't been for a report from Poopendyhc, who announced that he hid caught a glimpse of a very nursy 'oolt'tg person at ono of tho upper windows earlier in tho day. I couldn't, however, for llw life of me understand why my neighbor PC joined such rigid silenco In our part of the castle and yet permitted 'hat coo founded dng of hers to yowl and bark all day. How was I to know that the beast had treed a lizard in the lower hall and couldn't dislodge itf Britton returned with news. The ferrymen, with great joy in the telling, informed him that tho reason for tour ists parties was just beginning and that we might expect, with them, to do a thriving and prosperous business dur ing tho next month or two. Indeed, word already had been received by the tourists company's agent in the twn that a party of one hundred and sixty- nine would arrive tho next day but one from Munchcn, bent on visiting my HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL. A Fool and His Money ruin. In great trepidation, I had all of the gates and doors locked and rein forced by sundry beams and slabs, for I knew the overpowering nature of the collective tourist. I may be pardoned if I digress at this time to state that the party of one hundred and sixty-nine, both stern and opopsite, besieged my castle on the next day but one, with the punctuality of locusts, and despite all of my precau tions, all of my devices, all of my ob jections, effected an entrance and over ran the place like a swarm of antB. The feat that could not have been accom plished by an armed forced was suc cessfully managed by a group of peda gogues from Ohio, to whom "Keep off the Grass" and "No Trespass" are signs of utter impotence on 'be part of him who puts them up, and ever shall be, world without end. They came, they saw, they conquered, and they tried to buy picture postcards of me. I mention this in passing, lest you should be disappointed. More anon. Punctually at nine o clock, I was in the balcony, thanking my lucky stars that it was a bright, moonlit night. Thero was every reason to rejoice in tho prospect of seeing her face clear ly when she appeared at her secret little window. Naturally, I am too much of a gentleman to havo projected unfair means of illuminating her face, such as the use of a pocket electric lamp'or any thing of that sort. I am nothing if not gallant when it cornea to a pinch. Be sides, I was reasonably certain that she would wear a thick black veil. In this I was wrong. She wore a white, filmy one, but it served the purpose. I natu rally concluded that she was homely. "Good.eveniug," she said, on open ine tho window. "Good evening," said I, contriving to conceal my disapopintment. "How s the babyf" "Very much better, thank yon. It was so good of you to stop the work men. Won't you take off your veil and stay awhile!" I asked, politely face tious. "It isn't quite fair to me, yon know." Her next remark brought a blush of confusion to my cheek. A silly notion had induced me to don my full even- ne recalia, Bpike-ta'l coat and all. Nothing could have been more ludi crously incongruous than my appear ance, I am sure, and I never felt more uncomfortable in my life. "How very nice you look in your new suit,'1 she said, and I was aware of a muffled quality in her ordinarily clear, musical voice. She was laughing at me. "Are you giving a dinner party?" "I usually dress for dinner," i nea with some haughtiness. "And so does Poopendyke," I added as an after thought. My blush deepened as I re called the attenuated blazer in which my secretary breakfasted, lunched and dined without discrimination. "For Gretel's benefit, I presume." "Ah! you do know Gretel, thent" "Oh, I've known her for years. Isn't she a quaint old deart" "I shall discharge her m the morn nir," said 1 severely. "She is a liar and her husband is a poltroon. They positively deny your existence in any shape or form." "They won't pay any attention to you," said she, with a laugh. "They are fixtures, quite as much" so as the walls themselves. You'll not be able to discharge them. My grandfather tried t fifty years ago and failed. After that he made it a point to dismiss Conrad every day in the year anu Gretel every other day. As well try to removo the mountain, Mr. Smart. They know you can't get on without them." "I have discharged her as a rook," 1 said, triumphantly. "A now one will be here by tho end of the wee?;." "Oh," she sighed plaintively, "how glad I am. Sho is an atrocious cook. I don't like to complain, Mr. Smart, but really it is getting so that I can't cat anything Bhe sends up. It is jolly of you to get in a new one. JNow wo snail be very happy." "By Jove! ' said I, completely stng. gerort by these rev .'lations. Unable to find suitable words to express my sus tained astonishment, I repeated: "By Jovel" but in a subdued tone. "I have thought it over, Mr, Smart," she went on in a business-like manner, "and 1 believe we will get aiong mucn better together if we stay apart." Ambiguous remarits orainaruy reacn mv intelliirenca. but I was BO stunned by preceding admissions that I could only gasp: "Do you mean to say you've oeen subsisting all this time on my food!" "fib dfar me. not How can yon think that of met Gretel merely eooks the food 1 buy. sne Keeps a aimnci aud separate account of everything, poor thing. I am sure you wui not imu anvthino wronp with vour bills, Mr. j Smart. But did yon hear what I said a moment ago? "I'm not quite sure that I did." "I prefer to let matters stand just as thaw 9 Wkv fthnnld we diseommode teach other! We are perfectly satisfied as we : "I will not have my new eook giving notice, madam. You surely can't ex pect her or him to prepare meals for two separate " "I hadn't tnougnt oi inai, bub in terrupted ruefully. "Perhaps if I were to pay her or him extra wages it would be all right," sne aaaea, quick ly. "We do not require much, yon know." I laughed rather shortly meanly, I fear. This is most extraordinary, madam! " "I I quite agree with yon. I'm amfnllv snrrv it had to turn out as it has. Who would have dreamed of your buying the place ana coming ueru m up eat ouorvtliincf " . J.' . " - L. I resolved to Be firm witn ner. one seemed to be taking too much for grant 1 ' Mueh as I rep-ret it. madam, I am miiipd tn ask vou to evacuate to get out, in fact. This sort of thing can't go on." Rho was silent for so lone that I ex norionned a slow PTOWth of eOmDUnC tinii Just I was on the point of slightly receding from my position, she eavo me anotner snocis. ..... 11 "Don't you think it would do awiuuy convenient if you had a telephone pnt in Mr Smart!" she said. "It is snch a nuisance to send Max or Budolph over to town every wmp-stitcn on erranua .Un o taiAnhnne in vour name, of course would bo so much more satis factory." "A telephone!" 1 gasped. utaneea make it auite unwise for me to have a telephone in my own name, but yon could have one in yours without creating the least suspicion. You are " "Madam," I cried, and got no far ther. nlatlv -fro tn have & tels- .tl.U.J . phone if yon want one," she continued. "The doctor came tnia evening ami really wasn't necessary. Don't you see you could have telephoned for me and saved him the trip!" to the most stupendous . . exertion of self-restraint on my part . - ... , 3 15 that I said: "Well, t'u oe jiggereu, instead of something a nuie less unique. Her audacity staggered me. (I was not prepared at that time to speak of it as superciliousness.) "Madam," I exploded, "will you be good enough to listen to me! I am not to be trifled with. Tomorrow someume I shall enter the east wing of this build ing if I have to knock down all the doors on the place. Do you understand, madam!" T dri none. Mr. Smart, you can ar- rnntm tn Virp.ik in about five o'clock. It will afford me a great deal of pleas ure to give you some tea. May I ex pect you at five or thereabouts!" Her calmness exasperated me. x otmek the stone balustrade an em phatic blow with my fist, sorely peeling the knuckles, ana grouna oui: "For two cents I'd ao it to-nignu "Oh, dear oh, dear!" she cried mockingly. at he a dTCfldfn! woman," I cried out. "First, you make yourself at homo in my house; then you succeed in stopping my workmen, stent my coon and men-servants, keep us all awaye with a barking dog, defying me to my very face " "How awfully stern you are!" ''I don't believe a word you say about a sick babyor a doctor! It's all poppy -cock. Tomorrow you will find yourself, bag and baggago, sitting at Copyright, 1913, By Geo. Ban McCutcheon, the bottom ot this hill, waiting for "Wait!" she cried. "Are you. realty truly in earnest!" "Most emphatically!" "Then I I shall surrender," aba said, very slowly and seriously, I waa glad to observe. "That's more like it," I cried, es thusiastically. "On one condition," she said. "Xow mnst an-ree in advance to let me star on here for a month or two. It it i most imperative, Mr. Smart." "T ah nil be the sole mint of til, madam," 1 retorted, with some dignity "By the way," I went on, Knitting nxy hrnws "bow am I to ect into tout aids I of the castle! Sehmick says he's bat the keys." A good deal depended on Her aaswn "Thnv nhall be delivered to too t morrow morning, Mr. Smart," ate snxa soberly. "Good night" The little window closed with a snap and I was left alone in tke swEng mnnnlicht- I was vastly excited, em thrilled by the prospect of a sleepleaf night Something toltt me i tomi hImyi a wink, and vet I. who bitterly rec sent having my sleep curtailed in J slightest degree, hold no end agama circumstances. In fact, I rather ie veiled in the promise of noetarnal sH traction. Fearing, However, micht droD off to sleep at three c four o'clock and thereby run the ri of over sleeping, I flashed ell to isa head of the stairs and shouted tar Britton. "Rritton " I said. I want to called at seven o'clock sharp in tha morning." Noting His P1Ile "TRS to conceal his astonishment, i rata mm of my second encounter witi the lady across the way. "She won't be expecting yen air " ha remarked. "And. aa for that, she may be expecting to eaJL on you, instead of the otner wj round." "Bight!" said I, considerably dashed. 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