ITOME AM) FARM MAGAZINE SECTION"
13
By
Geo.1 Barr
McCutcheon
SYNOPSIS OP PREVIOUS
INSTALLMENTS.
In the opening instalments of "A
Fool and His Money," Goo, Barr Me
Ciitcheon's charming novel, serial
rights for which have been specially
obtained for the Home and Farm
Magazine Section, we learn of John
Bellamy Smart, the young man who
Is telling this story. He has Just
written his first novel, and at the
same time haB fallen heir to an im
mense fortune left him by his uncle.
He is 35 years of age.
After a visit to London, Smart
takca a trip on the River Danube.
After finding an old-world town, he
divera an ancient castle, which be
purchases from its owner, the Count
Wilh his secretary, Poopendyke, he
taking possession of the immense
structure, which is supposed to be
tenanted only by tho caretaker and
his family, tho Schmjcks. To Smart's
amazement, the first night, ho hears
the cry of a baliy. Later he discovers
a woman's fare at a:i upper window.
Ho is ti much interested to attend
to his earreeojiicletiee, us is desired by
his secretary. Smart determines to
sylvc tho nij'Btery of tho cast wing of
the ensile and enters a window by
means of a laddr.'. He is blocked by
a stunt door on which is pinned a
note reading: "fMeaao keep out. This
is fjrirate property." Later he meets
the w.jm-in, win greatly puzzles him.
' ? $ J $s $ $
CHAPTER IV.
I Become, an Ancestor.
TRUE to tha promise she had extract
ed from me, I lr.id off my work
men the next morning. They
trooped in bright and early, consider
ably augmented by fresh recruits who
fame to sharo the benefits of my in
nocuous prodigality, and if I live to be
a thousand I t,liall never again experi
ence such a noisome half hour as the
one spent in listening to their, indig
nant protests against iny tyranical op
pression of the -poor and needy. In the
end, 1 agreed to pay them, one and all,
for a full day's work, and they went
away mollified, calling me' a true gentle
man to my face and heaven knows what
to my back.
I spoke gently to them of the sick
baby. With one voice they all shout
ed: "But our babies are sick!"
Ono octogenarian a carpenter's ap
prentice heatedly informed ine, through
Schmick, that he had a child two weeks
old that would die before morning if
deprived of proper food and nourish
ment. Somewhat impressed by this piti
ful lament, I enquired how his wife
was gctitig along. Tho ancient, being
in a placid state of senility, courteous
ly thanked me for my interest, and an
swered that she had been dead for
forty-nine years, como September, 1
overlooked the slight discrepancy.
During tho remainder of the day, I
insisted on the utmost qniet in our wing
of tbo castle. Poopendyko was obliged
to tako his typewriter out to the
Btables, where I dictated scores of let
ters to him. I caught Britton whistling
in tho kitchen about noon time, and
severely reprimanded him. We went
quite to tho extreme, however, when we
tiptoed about our lofty halls. All of the
afternoon wo kept a sharp lookout for
the doctor, but it he came we were note
the wiser. Britton went ibto the towi,
at three W'th the letters rind a telegram
to my friends in Vienna, imploring
them to look up a corps of efficient ser
vants for me and to send them on post
haste. I would have included a request
foT a competent nurse-maid if it hadn't
been for a report from Poopendyhc,
who announced that he hid caught a
glimpse of a very nursy 'oolt'tg person
at ono of tho upper windows earlier in
tho day.
I couldn't, however, for llw life of
me understand why my neighbor PC
joined such rigid silenco In our part of
the castle and yet permitted 'hat coo
founded dng of hers to yowl and bark
all day. How was I to know that the
beast had treed a lizard in the lower
hall and couldn't dislodge itf
Britton returned with news. The
ferrymen, with great joy in the telling,
informed him that tho reason for tour
ists parties was just beginning and that
we might expect, with them, to do a
thriving and prosperous business dur
ing tho next month or two. Indeed,
word already had been received by the
tourists company's agent in the twn
that a party of one hundred and sixty-
nine would arrive tho next day but one
from Munchcn, bent on visiting my
HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL.
A Fool and His Money
ruin. In great trepidation, I had all of
the gates and doors locked and rein
forced by sundry beams and slabs, for
I knew the overpowering nature of the
collective tourist.
I may be pardoned if I digress at this
time to state that the party of one
hundred and sixty-nine, both stern and
opopsite, besieged my castle on the next
day but one, with the punctuality of
locusts, and despite all of my precau
tions, all of my devices, all of my ob
jections, effected an entrance and over
ran the place like a swarm of antB. The
feat that could not have been accom
plished by an armed forced was suc
cessfully managed by a group of peda
gogues from Ohio, to whom "Keep off
the Grass" and "No Trespass" are
signs of utter impotence on 'be part
of him who puts them up, and ever shall
be, world without end. They came, they
saw, they conquered, and they tried to
buy picture postcards of me.
I mention this in passing, lest you
should be disappointed. More anon.
Punctually at nine o clock, I was in
the balcony, thanking my lucky stars
that it was a bright, moonlit night.
Thero was every reason to rejoice in
tho prospect of seeing her face clear
ly when she appeared at her secret little
window. Naturally, I am too much of a
gentleman to havo projected unfair
means of illuminating her face, such as
the use of a pocket electric lamp'or any
thing of that sort. I am nothing if not
gallant when it cornea to a pinch. Be
sides, I was reasonably certain that she
would wear a thick black veil. In this
I was wrong. She wore a white, filmy
one, but it served the purpose. I natu
rally concluded that she was homely.
"Good.eveniug," she said, on open
ine tho window.
"Good evening," said I, contriving
to conceal my disapopintment. "How
s the babyf"
"Very much better, thank yon. It
was so good of you to stop the work
men.
Won't you take off your veil and
stay awhile!" I asked, politely face
tious. "It isn't quite fair to me, yon
know."
Her next remark brought a blush of
confusion to my cheek. A silly notion
had induced me to don my full even-
ne recalia, Bpike-ta'l coat and all.
Nothing could have been more ludi
crously incongruous than my appear
ance, I am sure, and I never felt more
uncomfortable in my life.
"How very nice you look in your
new suit,'1 she said, and I was aware
of a muffled quality in her ordinarily
clear, musical voice. She was laughing
at me. "Are you giving a dinner
party?"
"I usually dress for dinner," i nea
with some haughtiness. "And so does
Poopendyke," I added as an after
thought. My blush deepened as I re
called the attenuated blazer in which
my secretary breakfasted, lunched and
dined without discrimination.
"For Gretel's benefit, I presume."
"Ah! you do know Gretel, thent"
"Oh, I've known her for years. Isn't
she a quaint old deart"
"I shall discharge her m the morn
nir," said 1 severely. "She is a liar
and her husband is a poltroon. They
positively deny your existence in any
shape or form."
"They won't pay any attention to
you," said she, with a laugh. "They
are fixtures, quite as much" so as the
walls themselves. You'll not be able to
discharge them. My grandfather tried
t fifty years ago and failed. After that
he made it a point to dismiss Conrad
every day in the year anu Gretel every
other day. As well try to removo the
mountain, Mr. Smart. They know you
can't get on without them."
"I have discharged her as a rook,"
1 said, triumphantly. "A now one will
be here by tho end of the wee?;."
"Oh," she sighed plaintively, "how
glad I am. Sho is an atrocious cook. I
don't like to complain, Mr. Smart, but
really it is getting so that I can't cat
anything Bhe sends up. It is jolly of
you to get in a new one. JNow wo snail
be very happy."
"By Jove! ' said I, completely stng.
gerort by these rev .'lations. Unable to
find suitable words to express my sus
tained astonishment, I repeated: "By
Jovel" but in a subdued tone.
"I have thought it over, Mr, Smart,"
she went on in a business-like manner,
"and 1 believe we will get aiong mucn
better together if we stay apart."
Ambiguous remarits orainaruy reacn
mv intelliirenca. but I was BO stunned
by preceding admissions that I could
only gasp:
"Do you mean to say you've oeen
subsisting all this time on my food!"
"fib dfar me. not How can yon
think that of met Gretel merely eooks
the food 1 buy. sne Keeps a aimnci
aud separate account of everything,
poor thing. I am sure you wui not imu
anvthino wronp with vour bills, Mr.
j Smart. But did yon hear what I said a
moment ago?
"I'm not quite sure that I did."
"I prefer to let matters stand just as
thaw 9 Wkv fthnnld we diseommode
teach other! We are perfectly satisfied
as we :
"I will not have my new eook giving
notice, madam. You surely can't ex
pect her or him to prepare meals for
two separate "
"I hadn't tnougnt oi inai, bub in
terrupted ruefully. "Perhaps if I were
to pay her or him extra wages it
would be all right," sne aaaea, quick
ly. "We do not require much, yon
know."
I laughed rather shortly meanly, I
fear.
This is most extraordinary,
madam! "
"I I quite agree with yon. I'm
amfnllv snrrv it had to turn out as it
has. Who would have dreamed of your
buying the place ana coming ueru m up
eat ouorvtliincf " .
J.' . " - L.
I resolved to Be firm witn ner. one
seemed to be taking too much for grant
1 ' Mueh as I rep-ret it. madam, I am
miiipd tn ask vou to evacuate to
get out, in fact. This sort of thing can't
go on."
Rho was silent for so lone that I ex
norionned a slow PTOWth of eOmDUnC
tinii Just I was on the point of
slightly receding from my position, she
eavo me anotner snocis.
..... 11
"Don't you think it would do awiuuy
convenient if you had a telephone pnt
in Mr Smart!" she said. "It is snch
a nuisance to send Max or Budolph over
to town every wmp-stitcn on erranua
.Un o taiAnhnne in vour name, of
course would bo so much more satis
factory."
"A telephone!" 1 gasped.
utaneea make it auite unwise
for me to have a telephone in my own
name, but yon could have one in yours
without creating the least suspicion.
You are "
"Madam," I cried, and got no far
ther.
nlatlv -fro tn have & tels-
.tl.U.J .
phone if yon want one," she continued.
"The doctor came tnia evening ami
really wasn't necessary. Don't you see
you could have telephoned for me and
saved him the trip!"
to the most stupendous
. .
exertion of self-restraint on my part
. - ... , 3 15
that I said: "Well, t'u oe jiggereu,
instead of something a nuie less unique.
Her audacity staggered me. (I was not
prepared at that time to speak of it as
superciliousness.)
"Madam," I exploded, "will you be
good enough to listen to me! I am not
to be trifled with. Tomorrow someume
I shall enter the east wing of this build
ing if I have to knock down all the
doors on the place. Do you understand,
madam!"
T dri none. Mr. Smart, you can ar-
rnntm tn Virp.ik in about five o'clock.
It will afford me a great deal of pleas
ure to give you some tea. May I ex
pect you at five or thereabouts!"
Her calmness exasperated me. x
otmek the stone balustrade an em
phatic blow with my fist, sorely peeling
the knuckles, ana grouna oui:
"For two cents I'd ao it to-nignu
"Oh, dear oh, dear!" she cried
mockingly.
at he a dTCfldfn! woman," I
cried out. "First, you make yourself
at homo in my house; then you succeed
in stopping my workmen, stent my coon
and men-servants, keep us all awaye
with a barking dog, defying me to my
very face "
"How awfully stern you are!"
''I don't believe a word you say
about a sick babyor a doctor! It's all
poppy -cock. Tomorrow you will find
yourself, bag and baggago, sitting at
Copyright, 1913,
By Geo. Ban
McCutcheon,
the bottom ot this hill, waiting for
"Wait!" she cried. "Are you. realty
truly in earnest!"
"Most emphatically!"
"Then I I shall surrender," aba
said, very slowly and seriously, I waa
glad to observe.
"That's more like it," I cried, es
thusiastically.
"On one condition," she said. "Xow
mnst an-ree in advance to let me star
on here for a month or two. It it i
most imperative, Mr. Smart."
"T ah nil be the sole mint of til,
madam," 1 retorted, with some dignity
"By the way," I went on, Knitting nxy
hrnws "bow am I to ect into tout aids
I of the castle! Sehmick says he's bat
the keys."
A good deal depended on Her aaswn
"Thnv nhall be delivered to too t
morrow morning, Mr. Smart," ate snxa
soberly. "Good night"
The little window closed with a snap
and I was left alone in tke swEng
mnnnlicht- I was vastly excited, em
thrilled by the prospect of a sleepleaf
night Something toltt me i tomi
hImyi a wink, and vet I. who bitterly rec
sent having my sleep curtailed in J
slightest degree, hold no end agama
circumstances. In fact, I rather ie
veiled in the promise of noetarnal sH
traction. Fearing, However,
micht droD off to sleep at three c
four o'clock and thereby run the ri
of over sleeping, I flashed ell to isa
head of the stairs and shouted tar
Britton.
"Rritton " I said. I want to
called at seven o'clock sharp in tha
morning." Noting His P1Ile "TRS
to conceal his astonishment, i rata mm
of my second encounter witi the lady
across the way.
"She won't be expecting yen
air " ha remarked. "And. aa
for that, she may be expecting to eaJL
on you, instead of the otner wj
round."
"Bight!" said I, considerably
dashed.
"Besides, sir, would it not be aafer
to wait till the tourist party ras
and gone!"
(To Be Continued.)
THE STORY
of a STUDENT
Watch for "The Story of a Stu
dent," which will appear every week
in this space. It will Pe into""
tag and profitable for every yonnf
man and woman who withes to mike
a success in lite.
t M. WALKEB, president.
Portland, Oregon.
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