Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925 | View Entire Issue (July 2, 1914)
11 HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION Verses Grave and Gay in Tone Why She Chora Him. She chose him of all the crowd . . Of men that came and went; His voice was low, his tie waa lond. But she was well content. The first man's education was Perhaps more finished and Another's manners gave her cause As being much more grand. Another's garments fitted him; Another's hair was curly; Another's name was "Arthur" Jim Was chosen by this girlie. And not for wealth and not for love Was Jim by Mabel choaed -But that he was the one man of The whole lot that proposed I Boston Traveler. Why Cats Go Wrong. The melancholy days are come, The saddest of the year, Of houses closed and doorbells dumb And windows dark and drear. Now Dives to his country seat Has hied himself away, And Tabby turned into the street Must shift as best she may. No more the cushion soft as silk, The catnip ball no more; No more the saucer full of milk Behind the pantry door. Nor shall she break her fast to prey Upon the lean church mouse; The good Lord, too, has gone away And closed his city house. (Myself when young onee showed my face Therein, when, huge and shrill The sexton came "I feel the place In frosty weather still.") .When. Dives hies him back once more To hit town house, oh, shame! Tabby will greet him at tbe door, But not no, not the same. The Ubiquitous Girl. There 's pretty girls in erery port i That fronts upon the foam, For I've made love in Labrador, . In Cairo and in Rome, I've kissed the girls of London Town And sweet to kiss were they. But Burmah girls are just as sweet And 'Frisco girls are gayl There's always eyes to sparkle bright And hearts a-beating warm, There's lips the man who's bold may kiss, And waists to fill an arm; The maids are fair in Argentino Stories at Which You Will Smile TiTJ are to go up to O'Brien's farm," said the doctor, "get np and go to bed with the birds, mow and pitch the bay, Bhuck the corn, and all that sort of thing. And you'll cut out the booze, absolutely, and " "Oh, yes," said the patient wearily, "I expected that." "And one cigar a day." "Oh, doc not that!" . "One cigar a day," reiterated the doctor inexorably. "Oh, very well." Six months later the patient returned to report. "Well, how did you like itf " "Fine business, doctor. I'm fit as a fiddle. Me for that early to bed and early to rise thing. It's great." "Liked it all, ehf " "Everything bat the one cigar a day. That pretty nearly killed me." "The tobacco habit" began the doctor. ''At my age, doctor, it's no joke to take up smoking." THE stage drivers in Yellowstone Park are bothered considerably by tbe foolish questions asked by their passengers, and often reBort to satirical answers. Once a lady tourist who seemed deeply interested in the hot spring iniuired: "Driver, do these springs freeze over in winter! " "Oh, yes, yes; a lady was skating here last winter and broke through and get her foot scalded." And dainty in Japan, Thero's girls to love in all the world If you 're a proper man. And who's the fairest of the fair!" Well, hang me if I know! Sometimes I think she lives in France Sometimes in (,'allao; But take 'em north and take 'em south, And take 'em east and west, Of all the girls in all the world The last one is the best. Thankfulness. Imprisoned bird, how canst thou sing As if 'twas early morn And from the blue o'er sparkling fields luy song was bornl Thy world is now a little cage Hung on a dusty street, And with the sound of heavy wheels Thy strains compete. Ah, if thou canst from just the rays That on thy prison fall Find and float forth thy happiness So may we all! So may we all for little things rour out our hearts tn praise And in the sun of what we have Find singing days. Butting In. While walking down the street one day I heard a damsel squeal. I tried to stop the runaway And spoiled a lengthy reel. I saw a brutal fellow shove A child beneath a van. I saved her, to the horror of The moving picture man. At every turn you may invade The moving picture realm. Let others play the hero's trade; Don't butt into a film. Before and After. When Bessie was a bashful maid And turned her back on me, I only had to rest myself 'Till she turned back, you see. But now when Bessie turns her back, My exercise begins She wants her shirtwaist "buttoned up" With forty hooks and pins. "And don't forget the collarette, The Bides must not be slack The lace must not be puckered up" When Bessie turns her back. A WOMAN living in an aristocratic section a mile and half from her grocer went to the phone. "This you, central! Four, five, lour, please." This you, Mr. M.f Fleaso charge and send 10 cents' worth of animal crackers, and pick out the elephants, as the baby is afraid of them." E maneuvers of the SwisB army were at their height. A dark figure stole out of the shadow of a cheese bush. "Who goes there!" asked the senti- nol. "A friend," came the answer. "Step forward and give the counter sign." The dark figure pulled a black bot tle from his pocket and gave it to the sentinel. The latter smelled the con tents and put the bottle to his lips. "Pass," he commanded, and the stranger passed within the lines. The stillness of the grave settled over the Alps. A Gentle Hint I was speaking with your father last night," said the young man. Oh, were you!" answered the sweet young American, lowering her eyes, "What were you talking about!" "About the likelihood of war with Moxico. Your fathor said if there was war he hoped it would bo short." "Oh, yes; I know papa is very much opposod to long engagem ints. " "Sho's all the world to mo!" he cried, And at his heart did clutch. "It's quite apparent," 1 replio'l, "You haven't traveled much." "Why do you continually tell me you were detained downtown on business! I despise a lie." "Well, I continually tell you your Hotel Seattle, Under new management entire change in all departments all rooms redecorated and re furnished. Particular attention is now being paid to prompt, efficient and courteous service. DAILY RATES $2.00 Up With Private Bath .00 Up Without Private Bath Hotel Butler Cafe THE FINEST Service the Best. ROBERT J. ROBINSON Manager cooking is good," retorted the husband. 'You accept that one all right enough." The Popular Fad. 'Well, this will be your son's last year at college and football." "Yes." "Of course you're glad. Ho'll soon settle down to something practical and useful. " "I'm afraid not." "Eh!" "No. He expects to be a sociolo gist." Not What She Expected. HE WAS a shy young man, but on his way home from the city he managed to screw up his courage') sufficiently to enter a jeweler s shop and purchase a small gift for the lady of his heart. This, he hoped, would pave the way to the popping of the great question. That night he called at her house and found her alona. Producing a small square box from his pocket, he said, nervously: "1 have ventured to bring you a small present, Miss Finn, but I am afraid that perhaps it will not fit your finger. Will you try it on!" "Oh, dear!" said the girl, blushing most becomingly, "this is quite unex pected. Why, I never dream 1 that you really cared enough " Poor fool! Instead of grasping the opportunity in both hands, he opened the box and produced a thimble! Then the thermometer dropped about 10 degrees, ) n Sociable Scenery. THE NEW summer boarder gazed over the picturesquo New Hamp shire landscape then slowly fading out of sight, and noted the absence of houses. "It's beautiful! Grand!" said ho to the boss farmer, who was standing close by. "But nren't you lonesome so far from the v'llago and no neighbors!" "Lonesome!" echoed the farmer, in genuine astonishment. "Why, on a clear day wo can see Mt. Washington. ' ' Butler Wash. IN SEATTLE Cuisine Unexcelled. OVERALLS ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Keep Kids Kleen Tli mo practical, healthful, playtime cartnenti ever Inmitcd for children 1 , to 8 yean of age. Made In one piece ! with drop back, Easily alipped on or Off. Easily washed. No tifttt elastic bandi to flop drculation Made In blue denim, tnd blue and white hickory ttripea for all tbe year round. Also lifhter weirht material for summer wear. All rarmenu trimmed with fast red or blue estate. Made In Dutch neck whh elbow ileerea and high neck and loaf aleeres, 75c the suit If your dealer cannot itipply you, we will lend them, charges prepaid on receipt of price, 7Sc each. A New rprr If They Suit iRLL Rio I MaJ, By htyj Strauss St Co., San Franclicoy i FOR YOUR DEN Beautiful College Pennants Yale and Harvard, Each 9 in. x 24 '.- . Princeton, Cornell, Michigan Each 7 in. x 21 in. All best quality folt with felt head. ing, streamers, letters and mascot ex ecuted in proper colors. This splendid assortment sent postpaid for GO cents and o stamps to pay postage. Bend now. HOWARD SPECIALTY CO. Dayton, Ohio. GOING EAST or COMING WEST We can Save you Money Reduced rates on Household Goods, Pianos, Automobiles, etc. Through consolidated cars insuring prompt delivery and careful handling. Bates and Information furnished on request, Pacific Coast Forwarding Company 201 Wilcox Building, Portland, Oregon n
