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About The gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925 | View Entire Issue (June 25, 1914)
12 JOME AND FARM MAGAZINE RECTTON" HOME AMD FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL. A Fool and His Money By George Ban McCntcbMD Copyright, MIS, By Geo. Bur MeCuteheon. SYHOP8I9 OF PREVIOUS IN ST AILMENTS. In tbe opening installments of "A 4 Fool and Hi Money," Geo. Barr Me- $ Cotcheon's charming noral, serial $ rights for which hare been specially 3 obtained for the Home and Farm Magasine Section, we loarn of John 4 Bellamy Smart, the young man who la telling thia story. He has jnst Cfr written his first oorel, and at the 4 same time has fallen heir to an im- J mense fortune left him by his uncle. He is 35 years of age. $ After a Tiait to London, Smart takes a trip on the River Danube. $ After finding an old-world town, he $ diacoTera an aneient castle, which he y pnrchaaes from its owner, the Count. t With his secretary, Peopendyke, he $ takes poaaeasioa of the immense J structure, which ia supposed to be & tenanted only by the caretaker and J his family, the Schmieks. To Smart's $ amassment, the -first night, he hears the cry of a baby. Looking otn at a balcony one night Smart sees the white figure of a woman silhouetted. He immediately begins a hunt for Scamick, the care- $ taker, to solve the mystery of who tho woman may be. With the ? Schmieks he endeavors to break down a heaTily barred door into that aec- $ tion fthe oaatle, but tails. Smart J loams that aouTenir hunters from $ New Tork are demanding to buy the $ castle heirlooms. Smart's visitors $ demand to buy the curiosities of the $ castle a'tongh he assures them time and time '-gain they are not on sale. $ They think ho la holding out for a $ higher pru-3. ''bo would be buyers are insulting, and are roughly eject- ed from the castle. Smart discovers & a woman's face at an upper window. He ia too much interested to attend to his correspondence, aa ia desired by $ his secretary. The story continues. ? .E OUGHT to clean them aU up fcaf before we begin on tbe ro mance, air. That 'a my sug gestion. We shan't fee! like stopping lor wt of silly letter By the way, air, when do you expect to start on the romancet" He usually spoke of them as romances. They were not novels to Poopendyke. I came to my feet, the light of ad venture in -my eye. "This very inBtant, Poopendyke," I exclaimed. His face brightened. He loves work. "Splendid! I will have your writing tablets ready in " "First of all, we must have a ladder. Have you seen to thatf" "A ladder!" he faltered, putting one foot back through the window in a most suggestive way. "Oh," said I, remembering, haven't told you, hare If Look I Up there in that window. Do you see thatl" "What is it, sirt A rue!" "Rug! Great 8eott, man, don't you know a woman 'b hair when you see it!" "I've never er never seen it you might say just like that, i re nairf " "It is. You do see it, don't you!" "How did it get there " "uood! Now I know I'm not dream ing. Cornel There's no time to be lost We may be able to get up there before he hears us! ' ' I was through the window and half way across the room before his well meant protest checked me, "For heaven's sake, Mr., Smart don't be too hasty. We can't rush in upon a woman unexpectedly like this. Who knowst She may be entirely " He caught himself tip sharply, blinked, jand then rounded etu his sentence in isafety with the word "deshabille." I I was not to be tamed aside by drivel 'of that sort; so, with a scornful laugh, I hurried on and was soon in the court .yard, surrounded by at least a score f persons who madly inquired where the fire was, and wanted to help me to put it out. At last we managed to get them back at their work, and I m st ucted old Conrad to have the tallest ladder brought to me at once. " There is no such thing about the castle' he announced blardly, puffing away at his enormous pipe. His wife shook her head in perfect serenity Somewhat dashed, I looked about me in quest of proof that they were lying to mo. There was no sign of anything that even resembled a ladder. . "Where are your sonst" I demand ed. Tho old couple held up their hands "Herr firitton has them working their souls out, turning a windlass out Side the gates ach, that terrible in vention of his!" groaned old Conrad. "My poor sons are faint with fatigue, mem herr. You should see them per spire and hear them pant for breath." "It is like the blowing of the forge bellows," cried his wife. "My poor little boys!" "Fetch them at once, Conrad," said I, cudgelling my brain for a means to surmount a present difficulty, and but very slightly interested in Britton's noble contraption. The brothers soon appeared and, as if to give the lie to their fond parents, puffed complacently at their pipes and yawned as if but recently aroused from nap. Their sleeves were rolled up and I marvelled at the size of their arms. "Is Britton deadt" I cried, suddenly cold with the fear that they had mu tinied against this brusque English overlord. They smiled. "He is waiting to be pulled up again, sir," said Max. "We left him at the bottom when you Bent for us. It is for us to obey." Of eonrse, everything had to wait while my obedient vassals went forth and reeled the discomforted Britton to the top of the steep. He sputtered con siderably until he saw me laughing at him. Instantly he was a valet once more, no longer a crabbed genius. I had thought of a plan, only to dis card it on measuring with my eye the distance from the ground to the lowest window in the east wing, second floor back. Even by standing on the shorn den of Rudolph, who was six feet five, I would still find myself at least ten feet short of the window ledge. Happily a new idea struck me almost at once. In a jiffy, half a dozen carpenters were at work constructing a substantial ladder out of scantlings, while I stood over them in serene command of the situation. The Schmieks segregated themselves and looked on, regarding tbe window with sly, furtive glances in which there was a distinct note of uneasiness. At last the ladder was complete. Resolutely I mounted to the top and peered through the sashless window. It was qnite black and repelling beyond, Instructing Britton and the two broth ers to follow me in turn, I climbered over the wide stone sill and lowered myself gingerly to the floor. I will not take up the time or the space to relate my experiences on this first fruitless visit to the east wing of my abiding place. Suffice to say, we got as far as the top of the stairs in the vast middle corridor after stum Wing through a series of dim, damp rooms, and then found our way effectu ally blocked by a stout door which was not only locked and bolted, but bore a most startling admor.ition to would-be trespassers. Pinned to one of the panels there was a dainty bit of white note-paper, with these satiric words written aeross its surface in a bold, feminine hand Please keep out. This is private property." Most property owners no doubt would have been incensed by this calm den snce on the part of a squatter, either male or female, but not I. The very impudence of the usurper appealed to me. What could be more delicious ttian her serene courage in dispossessing me, with the stroke of a pen, of at least two-thirds of my domicile, and what more exciting than the thought of wag ing war against her in the effort to re gain possession of itf Really it was quite glorious! Here was a happy, en chanting bit of feudalism that stirred my romantic soul to its very depths. was beine dcf.ed by a woman an amazon! Even my grisping imagina tion could not have asked for more sub stantial returns than this. To put her to rout! To storm the castle! To make her captive and chuck her into my dungeon! Splendid! We returned to the courtyard and held a counsel of war. I put all of the flchmicks on the grill, but they stub bornly disclaimed all interest in or knowledge of the extraordinary occu pant of the east wing. "We can smoke her out, sir," said I could scarcely believe my ears. "Britton," said I severely, "you are brute. I am surprised. You forget there is an innocent babe maybe a col lection of them over there. And a dog. We shan't do anything heathenish, Brit ton. riease bear that in mind. There but one way: we must storm the place. I will not be defied to my very none." I felt it to see if it was not a ittle out ef joint. "It is a good nose." It is, sir," said Britton, and Poop endyke, in a perfect ecstasy of loyalty, shouted: "Long live your nose, sir!" My German vassals waved their huts, perceiving that a demonstration was required without in the last knowing what it was about. Tonight we'll plan onr campaign," said I, and then returned in some baste to my balcony. The mists of the wan ing dav were rising from the valley be low. The smell of rain was in the air. looked in vain for the lady's tresses. They were gone. Tho sun was also gone. His work for the day was done. I wondered whether she was putting up her hair with her own fair hands or was there a lady's maid in her menage. Poopendyke and I dined in solemn grandeur in the great banquet hall, at tended by the clumsy Max. Mr. Poopendyke," said I, after Max passed me the fish for the second time on my right side and both times across my shoulder "we must engage butler and a footman tomorrow. Likewise a chef. This is too much." ; Might I suggest that we also en gage a chambermaid! J. he beds are very poorly " I held up my hand, smiling confi dently. 'We may capture a veiy competent chambermatn before the beds are made up again,'' I said, with meaning. "She doesn't write like a chamber maid," he reminded me. Whereupon we fell to studying the very aristocratic chirography employed by my neighbor in barring me from my own possessions. After the very worst meal that Fran Schmick had ever cooked, and the last one that Max under any circumstances would be permitted to serve, I took my self off once more to the enchantod balcony. I was full of the fever of romance. A perfect avalanche of situa tions had been tnmbling through my brain for hours, and, being a provident sort of chap in my own way, I decided to jot them down on a pad of paper before they quite escaped me or were submerged by others. The night was very black and tragic, swift storm clouds having raced up to eove rtho moon and stars. With a radi ant lanthorn in the window behind me, I sat down with my pad and my pipe and my pencil. The storm was not far away. I saw that it would soon be booming about my stronghold, and real- zed that mv fancy would have to worn faster than it had ever worked before it half that I had in mind was to be accomplished. Why I should have court ed a broken evening on the exposed bal cony, instead of beginning my labors in my study, remains an unrevealed mystery, unless we charge it to the ac count of a much-abused eccentricity at tributed to genius and which usually turns out to be arrant stupidity. (To Be Continued.) GOPHER KIBAS a chemical compound tnat csmn certain death to gophers and moles. Mot a poison, safe and easy to Die. Better than traps Be cause it gets r d of them all at one. Price $1.60. Money order. THE GREEN CHEMICAL COMPANY, S64 East 28th Street North, Portland, Oregon GOING EAST or COMING WEST ' We can Sre you Money Reduced rates on Household Goods, Pianos, Automobiles, etc. Through consolidated cars insuring prompt delivery and careful handling. Rates and Information furnished on request. Pacific Coast Forwarding Company 201 Wilcox BuiMaat, Portland. Orasoa Mr. Merchant! Since "TIMES ARE HARD," now Is the time for yon to realize a profit on your old bundle of freight bills that you have perhaps regarded as nothing more than waste paper, Do you know that the freight and express charges that yon pay are many times in error, due to oversight on the part of the clerk in assessing proper charges, or to errors in classification, weights, etc., and that which you pay to the transportation com panies in excess of what actually belongs to them for their services under their legally published tariff rates amounts to considerable money that you might count as profits in the conduct of your businesst It is a fact that unless business concerns, however small, employ expert rate and traffic men to look after their trans portation affairs they lose annually a large amount of money that could be saved. OTJR BUSINESS IS TO SAVE THIS MONET FOB YOU FROM YOUR OLD FREIGHT BILLS. We can greatly benefit you and your business as a member of this association, our staff of traffic experts are tbe best that money can produce, and we are saving merchants throughout the country thousands of dollars yearly in overcharges found on ex pense bills which were erroneously charged by the railroads and express companies. A membership in this association entitles yon to these savings, together with such further services as quota tion of rates, routing of freight to receive lowest rates, collection of loss and damago claims, Inter-State Commerce Complaints, and many other services beneficial to merchants. The cost of membership is only $10.00 for the first year's service; the second year's" service does not cost yon anything in cash, as we take $7.50 to cover the second year's service from the overcharges found in the cxpenso bills only, and we further guarantee to refund to you under onr contract more than the amount of cash that you originally pay for the membership. Let us have your application today. THE TRANS-CONTINENTAL TRAFFIC ASSOCIATION, 411-415 Panama Building, Portland, Oregon, Gentlemen : I hereby apply for membership In the shore named Association to receive all of the benefits under your general membership contract, and I enclose here with check for $10.00 to cover membership fee, Name. Addreai. in great di tress. Britton.
