12
JOME AND FARM MAGAZINE RECTTON"
HOME AMD FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL.
A Fool and His Money
By
George Ban
McCntcbMD
Copyright, MIS,
By Geo. Bur
MeCuteheon.
SYHOP8I9 OF PREVIOUS
IN ST AILMENTS.
In tbe opening installments of "A 4
Fool and Hi Money," Geo. Barr Me- $
Cotcheon's charming noral, serial $
rights for which hare been specially 3
obtained for the Home and Farm
Magasine Section, we loarn of John 4
Bellamy Smart, the young man who
la telling thia story. He has jnst Cfr
written his first oorel, and at the 4
same time has fallen heir to an im- J
mense fortune left him by his uncle.
He is 35 years of age. $
After a Tiait to London, Smart
takes a trip on the River Danube. $
After finding an old-world town, he $
diacoTera an aneient castle, which he y
pnrchaaes from its owner, the Count. t
With his secretary, Peopendyke, he $
takes poaaeasioa of the immense J
structure, which ia supposed to be &
tenanted only by the caretaker and J
his family, the Schmieks. To Smart's $
amassment, the -first night, he hears
the cry of a baby.
Looking otn at a balcony one night
Smart sees the white figure of a
woman silhouetted. He immediately
begins a hunt for Scamick, the care- $
taker, to solve the mystery of who
tho woman may be. With the ?
Schmieks he endeavors to break down
a heaTily barred door into that aec- $
tion fthe oaatle, but tails. Smart J
loams that aouTenir hunters from $
New Tork are demanding to buy the $
castle heirlooms. Smart's visitors $
demand to buy the curiosities of the $
castle a'tongh he assures them time
and time '-gain they are not on sale. $
They think ho la holding out for a $
higher pru-3. ''bo would be buyers
are insulting, and are roughly eject-
ed from the castle. Smart discovers &
a woman's face at an upper window.
He ia too much interested to attend
to his correspondence, aa ia desired by $
his secretary. The story continues. ?
.E OUGHT to clean them aU up
fcaf before we begin on tbe ro
mance, air. That 'a my sug
gestion. We shan't fee! like stopping
lor wt of silly letter By the way,
air, when do you expect to start on the
romancet" He usually spoke of them
as romances. They were not novels to
Poopendyke.
I came to my feet, the light of ad
venture in -my eye.
"This very inBtant, Poopendyke," I
exclaimed.
His face brightened. He loves work.
"Splendid! I will have your writing
tablets ready in "
"First of all, we must have a ladder.
Have you seen to thatf"
"A ladder!" he faltered, putting one
foot back through the window in a
most suggestive way.
"Oh," said I, remembering,
haven't told you, hare If Look I Up
there in that window. Do you see
thatl"
"What is it, sirt A rue!"
"Rug! Great 8eott, man, don't you
know a woman 'b hair when you see
it!"
"I've never er never seen it you
might say just like that, i re nairf "
"It is. You do see it, don't you!"
"How did it get there "
"uood! Now I know I'm not dream
ing. Cornel There's no time to be lost
We may be able to get up there before
he hears us! ' '
I was through the window and half
way across the room before his well
meant protest checked me,
"For heaven's sake, Mr., Smart
don't be too hasty. We can't rush in
upon a woman unexpectedly like this.
Who knowst She may be entirely "
He caught himself tip sharply, blinked,
jand then rounded etu his sentence in
isafety with the word "deshabille."
I I was not to be tamed aside by drivel
'of that sort; so, with a scornful laugh,
I hurried on and was soon in the court
.yard, surrounded by at least a score
f persons who madly inquired where
the fire was, and wanted to help me
to put it out. At last we managed to
get them back at their work, and I m
st ucted old Conrad to have the tallest
ladder brought to me at once.
" There is no such thing about the
castle' he announced blardly, puffing
away at his enormous pipe. His wife
shook her head in perfect serenity
Somewhat dashed, I looked about me
in quest of proof that they were lying
to mo. There was no sign of anything
that even resembled a ladder. .
"Where are your sonst" I demand
ed.
Tho old couple held up their hands
"Herr firitton has them working
their souls out, turning a windlass out
Side the gates ach, that terrible in
vention of his!" groaned old Conrad.
"My poor sons are faint with fatigue,
mem herr. You should see them per
spire and hear them pant for breath."
"It is like the blowing of the forge
bellows," cried his wife. "My poor
little boys!"
"Fetch them at once, Conrad," said
I, cudgelling my brain for a means to
surmount a present difficulty, and but
very slightly interested in Britton's
noble contraption.
The brothers soon appeared and, as if
to give the lie to their fond parents,
puffed complacently at their pipes and
yawned as if but recently aroused from
nap. Their sleeves were rolled up and
I marvelled at the size of their arms.
"Is Britton deadt" I cried, suddenly
cold with the fear that they had mu
tinied against this brusque English
overlord.
They smiled. "He is waiting to be
pulled up again, sir," said Max. "We
left him at the bottom when you Bent
for us. It is for us to obey."
Of eonrse, everything had to wait
while my obedient vassals went forth
and reeled the discomforted Britton to
the top of the steep. He sputtered con
siderably until he saw me laughing at
him. Instantly he was a valet once
more, no longer a crabbed genius.
I had thought of a plan, only to dis
card it on measuring with my eye the
distance from the ground to the lowest
window in the east wing, second floor
back. Even by standing on the shorn
den of Rudolph, who was six feet five,
I would still find myself at least ten
feet short of the window ledge. Happily
a new idea struck me almost at once.
In a jiffy, half a dozen carpenters
were at work constructing a substantial
ladder out of scantlings, while I stood
over them in serene command of the
situation.
The Schmieks segregated themselves
and looked on, regarding tbe window
with sly, furtive glances in which there
was a distinct note of uneasiness.
At last the ladder was complete.
Resolutely I mounted to the top and
peered through the sashless window. It
was qnite black and repelling beyond,
Instructing Britton and the two broth
ers to follow me in turn, I climbered
over the wide stone sill and lowered
myself gingerly to the floor.
I will not take up the time or the
space to relate my experiences on this
first fruitless visit to the east wing
of my abiding place. Suffice to say, we
got as far as the top of the stairs in
the vast middle corridor after stum
Wing through a series of dim, damp
rooms, and then found our way effectu
ally blocked by a stout door which
was not only locked and bolted, but
bore a most startling admor.ition to
would-be trespassers.
Pinned to one of the panels there
was a dainty bit of white note-paper,
with these satiric words written aeross
its surface in a bold, feminine hand
Please keep out. This is private
property."
Most property owners no doubt would
have been incensed by this calm den
snce on the part of a squatter, either
male or female, but not I. The very
impudence of the usurper appealed to
me. What could be more delicious ttian
her serene courage in dispossessing me,
with the stroke of a pen, of at least
two-thirds of my domicile, and what
more exciting than the thought of wag
ing war against her in the effort to re
gain possession of itf Really it was
quite glorious! Here was a happy, en
chanting bit of feudalism that stirred
my romantic soul to its very depths.
was beine dcf.ed by a woman an
amazon! Even my grisping imagina
tion could not have asked for more sub
stantial returns than this. To put her
to rout! To storm the castle! To make
her captive and chuck her into my
dungeon! Splendid!
We returned to the courtyard and
held a counsel of war. I put all of the
flchmicks on the grill, but they stub
bornly disclaimed all interest in or
knowledge of the extraordinary occu
pant of the east wing.
"We can smoke her out, sir," said
I could scarcely believe my ears.
"Britton," said I severely, "you are
brute. I am surprised. You forget
there is an innocent babe maybe a col
lection of them over there. And a dog.
We shan't do anything heathenish, Brit
ton. riease bear that in mind. There
but one way: we must storm the
place. I will not be defied to my very
none." I felt it to see if it was not a
ittle out ef joint. "It is a good nose."
It is, sir," said Britton, and Poop
endyke, in a perfect ecstasy of loyalty,
shouted: "Long live your nose, sir!"
My German vassals waved their huts,
perceiving that a demonstration was
required without in the last knowing
what it was about.
Tonight we'll plan onr campaign,"
said I, and then returned in some baste
to my balcony. The mists of the wan
ing dav were rising from the valley be
low. The smell of rain was in the air.
looked in vain for the lady's tresses.
They were gone. Tho sun was also
gone. His work for the day was done.
I wondered whether she was putting up
her hair with her own fair hands or
was there a lady's maid in her menage.
Poopendyke and I dined in solemn
grandeur in the great banquet hall, at
tended by the clumsy Max.
Mr. Poopendyke," said I, after
Max passed me the fish for the second
time on my right side and both times
across my shoulder "we must engage
butler and a footman tomorrow.
Likewise a chef. This is too much."
; Might I suggest that we also en
gage a chambermaid! J. he beds are
very poorly "
I held up my hand, smiling confi
dently.
'We may capture a veiy competent
chambermatn before the beds are made
up again,'' I said, with meaning.
"She doesn't write like a chamber
maid," he reminded me.
Whereupon we fell to studying the
very aristocratic chirography employed
by my neighbor in barring me from my
own possessions.
After the very worst meal that Fran
Schmick had ever cooked, and the last
one that Max under any circumstances
would be permitted to serve, I took my
self off once more to the enchantod
balcony. I was full of the fever of
romance. A perfect avalanche of situa
tions had been tnmbling through my
brain for hours, and, being a provident
sort of chap in my own way, I decided
to jot them down on a pad of paper
before they quite escaped me or were
submerged by others.
The night was very black and tragic,
swift storm clouds having raced up to
eove rtho moon and stars. With a radi
ant lanthorn in the window behind me,
I sat down with my pad and my pipe
and my pencil. The storm was not far
away. I saw that it would soon be
booming about my stronghold, and real-
zed that mv fancy would have to worn
faster than it had ever worked before
it half that I had in mind was to be
accomplished. Why I should have court
ed a broken evening on the exposed bal
cony, instead of beginning my labors
in my study, remains an unrevealed
mystery, unless we charge it to the ac
count of a much-abused eccentricity at
tributed to genius and which usually
turns out to be arrant stupidity.
(To Be Continued.)
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THE TRANS-CONTINENTAL TRAFFIC ASSOCIATION,
411-415 Panama Building, Portland, Oregon,
Gentlemen :
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Name.
Addreai.
in great di tress.
Britton.