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About The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 24, 1893)
'1 Highest of all in Leavening Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report. 19 I i CI 1 .J w ABSOUTELY PURE They Didn't Like It. mOt courne," said Mr. Brown, a real estate gent, "curious things happen in my busi ness, just tu in overy other. Now, I fully xpeeted to rail that top euit of rooms in the Perpendicular building toft society that wanted to hire soma clubrooms, but It roted not to take them." "What was the trouble V asked a listener. There's no elevator in the building, and Mm members wouldn't climb the stairs.' 1 "What did you say the name of the society was?" some one asked. The real estate agent looked pensively at a letter which he held in his hand and read, "The Eastern Massachusetts Branch af the American Pedestrian and Mountain (Himbing association." Youth's Compon- 0tt " To Hijh Living. , Tramp Little girl, la there anr onttage anxmd hen where I can get a piateful of anything besides chicken and saparrow grassr For the last week I've had nothin but ssparrowgrass an chicken, chicken an aapsrrowgrsss. If you could only tell me when I could strike a plate of good, old fashioned beef, oreren a simple salad, I'd Mess youl-Life. c nan. mi rMM 1 A Ban Francisco man had been in bed for mvexal months with a malady that made him very nervous and irritable. His wife and daughter ministered to him assidu ously, but were sometimes at their wits' end in trying to satisfy his capricious de sires. As the young lady said once, her father was "so unreasonable that he would scold if an angel were waiting on him." One night when the mother and daughter were both thoroughly tired out a yonng Bun, a friend of the family, was called in to watch with the sick man for six hours after midnight. The invalid's wife in structed him about the medicines and es pecially cautioned him to be careful about disturbing the patient. ' "He is very irritable," she said. "Don't apeak to him except when he speaks to you, and if he is asleep when the time comes for him to take his medicine don't disturb hint." "And by the way," she added as she was bout leaving the room, "you may like something to read. Here is Mark Twain's 'Houghing It.' It will amuse you, but you mustn't laugh while reading it, for Mr. i wilt fancy you are laughing at him and will be very much annoyed." ' The young man performed his duties to the best of his ability, but on going away . in the morning was thanked rather curtly by the invalid.' As soon as he was gone sir. J broke out: "'See here, mother," said he, "don't ever send that numskull to watch with me again." "Why, father, what do you meant Wasn't ue attentive lie didn't go to sleep, didhet" ,.- "No, no, no. But I was awake for two hours, ai:U I watched him reading Mark Twain's book ail that time, and" "But, father,': interposed Mrs. J 'I gave him that book to occupy his time. He" " "Oh. res. res. That's all right, but that tool sat there for two hours reading that' book and never .smiled onoa" Ban 1' rafti .Cisco Call. . - '"'..'''. Out of Plae. A man who had lost his way in a track lens forest aamejsuduenly upon the signs of civilization. t ' MauT lights blazed, andsoundsof revelry buret UDon his car. 1 lie was very glad. j' - J v.- ,., , Advancing toward the festive scene, ho was presently rooted to the spot. , ' - There was much of anguish In his tone and manner. . . , . "ianopladaforamen." , ; "". In the garish gleam of the flaring lights . be had read that a'summer hotel was before ; him. ..'.'.- ' Turningupon his heel, ha plunged again . Into the wilderness Detroit Tribune. : Tenant 6ee bre; Mr. Landlord, the peo , pie on the floor above dance snd Jump round all night, and wo can't get any sleep. Isn't there anything that eon be donef " ' iMJuunu ' bUVfV IS. UlMiU 1 11 1 .1 . ., take tho flat above them or danoo and. jump around all'niaht vourselres and keep tho people boloif awake, Harper's Bazar. J Sufficient Grounds. -I'm going tott a divoroe." ' "On what srontadsf" , "Bigamy. After I married Mm I leaned Be was wedded to his .money." Brooklyn Life. ' A Sieiple rteqMst. . Kdltor-Always write your Jokes on tilt YetingHumonst VVhyf , "So I call aw through thaaH-JTrath, HSkKins Pretty Cold Weather. Two boatmen on the Ohio river wore talking about cold weather and of a cer tain severe winter. "It was just awful," said one of them. "At Cincinnati the river was froze tight, and the thermom eter vent down to SO degrees below Cairo." 'Below which?' asked his puzzled companion. 'Below Cairo, yon blubberheadl Yon see, when it freezes at Cairo it must be pretty cold, so they say so many degrees below Cairo," But light was bursting in upon the other. "No, they do not," he exclaimed eagerly. "You've got it all wrong. It's so many degrees below Nero, I do not know what it means, but that's what they say when it's dreadful cold." Har per's Young People. Rational Ureas lterurm. At a recent meeting of the Rational Dress Reform society in London, Lady Haberton. the high priestess of the or der, wore a coat bodice ami divided skirt, reaching half way between hor knee and ankle, of dark, rough home spun. Thick, laced boots and high gait ers were another feature of her attire. with a rather incongruous finishing touch in the shape of a large velvet hat with nodding plumes. The secretary wore a costume comprising Turkish trousers and zouave jacket Londor Letter. What a Woman's Club Has Don. The Woman's Charity cinb of Boston started less than two years ago a surgi cal hospital with but forty cents in its treasury. It has since then bought and furnished its present quarters, support ed a staff of nurses and doctors, paid (83.000 for land on which to erect now buildings, has tlB.UW at interest for hospital purposes, and is now examining plans for a new IS.!) building soon to bo erected. Tin club has 850 members. Boston Letter The Pope's Frugal lire. The pope, according to Dr. Ceccarellt, leads a very regular acd frugal life. He rises at 6 o'clock, says mass at 7, and is present afterward at the prayers of thanks giving. Between 8 and I ho takes coffee milk and eggs. Then he gives private re ceptions. At 3 o'clock in the afternoon he makes a slight dinner, soup, a little fish and very little meat, after which he takes a little walk in the garden. In the evening one ot his chaplains says the rosary in the papal chapel in presence of the pope. To ward 10 o'clock in the evening tus holiness eats soup or broth of some kind and at 11 goes to bed. London News. Two Strange Meetings. At table d'hote in a New York hotel two strangers met about a year since. An interesting conversation ended by hearty pledges of mutual friendship. Precisely six months later to the day and almost to the hour they again met. without the slightest prevision or preor- rahgement, (it the same hotel and the same table. During the interval each had traveled around the world, one oast- wan, the other westward. Exchange. 1 Chokes. Mot Jokes, , , "Don't send the horse reporter to any more hangings," said the proprietor of a Texas paper to the managing editor. Managing Editor Why not? Proprietor In this report of the double tanging he has it that the two entries came m neck add neck. In reporting executions levity is out of place. Texas BKtipgs., " ' ( , Hot Experience Enough. "'A man answered an advertisement of "Mnn wanted for the life saving service." ".What has been your business'" was the first question. ' t have been A ilftfttrtr." wm t.V,A renlv. 1 " Yon won't do at all. sir.'.' was the reply. "We want a man who 'has had someoxperl- ence in saving life. "Texas outings. . 'Power of the Press. . Famous Scientist (excitedly) Something must be done to stop the spread of the Anium'faabit among women. ' UFMt Kntar fcalmivv-verr we 1. sir I'llputtaaparagrapu saying thntahanker nn for . opium is a shra- of old acre, New ntork Weekly. . . . .1 ' . . -. - An Exception. v-' , Jphrmle Mmma,-thls book says knowl edge, ispower. .,. -' Mamma And it ls,,ray child. ''No, mamma, it isn't, I know there Is a ;ple In the" pantry,' but 1 can't get.lt." aniiae xtuuuW t : ? ! t III . ' ' A Qaeitlon of Shortness. blnkle- It's a strange thing to me how a snort man always wants a tall irirl. Dunkie Hnmpbl It'sastrnnge thing to me how short man want atiy girl. I'm bhimed if I do when . I'm short. Buffalo Courier. f. 1 . . , r . A Payment Ho.Praferredt ' IJirnker-I asked eld Mr. Munn If I rtiglit pay my addresses to his daughter. SpAts-Wbat did be say f Hunker He sumrssted that I pay my csbls ttisfc Detroit. I'm Eross, OUR HOME. Delayed when wv tsw srar Frutti ttiti. famllim mu 1 wonder uhii will iHimeand star In lliediMerlml col. Beneath lhw elm Iremt who will stand And llttnk thai home iHMweeu When we linvi none Into that land Where parted InniitehiildM ineHtf Oh. who will wnlh beside thettreaoi. t Or sit iMuieath the pine, Todrmai aitalu life's llttledream. When 'tin not rours, nor mine)' Will some one fell my favorite tree. Hnll down the nxMH- wait: Trie tlilnKt. sodear to ymi and ms. Will Uiey dmtroy theu all? , Whose name will be on yonder doorf WliDne pictures deck the wall? Whose feet press rouiihly on the door Where your dear footstep falls? . : And when the years u renturtse swing . Till all w love are dead. Will any echo backward bring The words that we have said? ! I hope the brook down there will esua An old familiar tune. When In a happier home than this We talk with all our own. ITor oh. this little home Is swsst, Kach corner Is so dear: Ou Heaven without II be complete? 1 would that Hwaven were here. , (almost think that from the skies, If 1 this home ran see, 1 shall waU'h those wllh.envlous eyes Who live here after me. "Hushl hushl weshall not ears." yon ear Dear heart 1 tt may be true; We shall not then, but oh. today sly life is here, with you. -Ju!la H. May in Uood Housekeeping. Women and Cabs. Of all the ways in which women are "pound foolish" there Is none to equal their way of not taking cabs when they know they should. It is charged against them that they will lose a train, catch their "death o' cold" or be late at a fu neral rather thun hail a cabby, as men universally da One especial woman got a lesson on the subject the day be fore Christinas, when the mud was of a peculiarly clinging sort. There were about a hundred tiresome little errands she must do down town about noon. She had vainly tried to elude all her family on leaving home, but it had been, 'Oh, you U be near the bazaar; do get the candles for the tree, and the Ger man mottoes, and "An, please post this in the postoflics and than It will get there today." i The mud began to stick immediately. and she thought of taking a cub to go about in, but they are so dear, anil it was only a "step of a way." Boon the fust accumulating bundles in her arms prevented her lifting her skirts, and the fur binding on its edge dragged it down on the slimy pavements. Higher and higher grew the border of mud. Bhe saw the passers by beginning to glance sadly at that besmirched gown, as If in sorrow rather than anger, and then would gladly have paid one dollar, aye. or ten dollars, for a vehicle wherein to hide, only she was too agonizingly dirty to dare to enter anything cleaner than a cable car. Ths next day, in the season of peni tence spent in brushing her gown, she struck a balance. Her skirt from navy blue had turned a vivid azure wherever the mud bad stained it That meant spending two dollurs for a braid border; the damage to her boots was at least two dollars more, and having to spend a half hour of Christmas day in cleaning that horrible skirt would need fifty dollars to indemnify one. The cab she did not get would have cost her one dollar. Balance of tifty -three dollars in favor of the cab. Chicago I'ost. A Clever Southern Business Woman. in the death of lire. D. P. Fanlds Kentucky's leading business woman Is carried away. Mrs. Fanlds was born in Bourbon county, and was a daughter of Willoughby Scott Bhe was married twice. Her tint hnsbund was K. K. Boiling, at one time clerk of ths court of appeals. It was during the latter years of his life that Mrs. Fanlds en tered the china business, in which she gained a reputation of being a remark able connoisseur of all pertaining to her line. Two years after the death of her first husband she married Fanlds. He was involved in debt at the time, and she was able to pledge herself for $30, 000 of the amount All but a very small portion of this has been paid from the profits of her business. Louisville Cor. Ut, Louis Republic. Cordnroy for Kngllsh Bridesmaids' Gowns. Corduroy has figured as the material for bridesmaids' gowns at several re cent weddings, At one ths eight at tendants of the bride wore yellow cor duroy, with bats of yellow felt, trimmed with yellow ribbons and yellow and white quills. At another the. brides maids hod Georgian costumes of "gray cordnroy, with white waistcoats and black three cornered bats with white pinnies." At a third the single bridesmaid, who was maid pf honor 'as well, wore white corduroy, slightly en train, trimmed with gold passementerie. Her hat was of white felt, with May white ostrich tips, and she carried a bonqnet of rum bronze and yellow chrysanthemums. London Letter. . ,-" i i in , ' .ft Quite Correct. ' Iter. Mr. Hlghys-I .did not an yon among the congregation yesterday, Mrs. An !Tlf i. j t " ' Mrs. An Fait No, I was III. but I-tent my cord by tho coachman. 'lit-uiu. BtnekOp. "It is veryiad," said tin Vt bill, "but s nee that stucknn goldniece nns neen w Europe and come back it positively refuses to recognize me as so equal" Inuianspolla journal. ITaiuoue "Hides." The following collections of poetry and prose on fumuua rides, although till incomplete, the writer believes to be the largest yet brought together: bmeridiuis Hide; Tlioiiuu B. Head. Turn O'Shiintor's Ride; Robert Burns. Black Valley R. It. Ride: 1. N. Tar- box, D. D. John Gilpin's Ride; William Cowper. Charlotte Churchman's Rids; A A Preston. Collins Graves Ride; John Boyle 0'Roilly. Erl King's Rides Wilholm von Goethe. Ichabod Crane's Bide; Washington Irving. King of Demark's Ride; C. E, Norton. Kit Carson's Hide; Joaquin Miller. Lady Uodlvas Ride; Alfred Tenny son. Mary Butler's Ride; B. V. Taylor. Parson Allen's Ride; Wallace Bruce. Paul Reveres Ride; H. W. Longfel low. Ride to Aix; Robert Browning. Skipper lreson'B Ride: J. G. Whittier. The Radical Ride: A. J. Walker. Warren's Ride: K. H. Weston. Young Lochinvor'a Rids; Walter 8cott. To the above may be added Qraysou McArthnr's Hide, Israel Putnam's liitle, Wilhelm's Ride with Lenore, John Sul livan's March, Don (Juixnte's Pinole, Mozeppa'a Circus Feat, News from Hod den Field. I'ythios' Homeward Raco, Ride of the Light Brigade, Rideof Com memlatore, The Ride for Life and Dick Turpin's Ride. St. Louis Republic. The Average Sleeping Boom. Look into the sleeping room of the laborer, the clerk, the mechanic, where they spend from seven to nine hours of the twenty-fonr. Generally they are the smallest and most inconvenient rooms in the house; on the shady side, with one window, precluding any thor ough ventilation. Even this one win dow may be so arranged that ths yiM will blow directly on the sleepers head if left open at night. Perhaps there is a small closet where, for want of other room, soiled clothing, boots, shoes and other belongings are kept. Oftentimes a row of hooks on the wall Is the only apology for a closet, and ths clothing hung on them adds to the general stuffi ness of the room. In this small, ill ventilated room two grown persona sleep, with a baby or small child added sometimes both. What wonder that the children are cross and have no appetite in the morning? How can the parents be fitted for thetr daily labor, after sleeping In such a room? The boarding houses are no bet ter, especially among the cheaper olass, many sleeping rooms being hardly larger than a tilosot. Good Housekeep ing. fyuser Theory About Insanity. There is something in the atmos pherii' conditions that develops insanity and murderous impulses," said a student of human nature. "That is my theory. It is like the grip and other diseases that prevail at certain times and under cer tain conditions. There are all sorts of diseases and impulse in people, and it only needs the conditions to develop them. Insanity is a peculiar disease, and to a greater or less degree exists in a pretty large proportion of mankind. In most cases it is shown in a harm less idiosyncrasy and excites no mors comment than mild ridicule, but in many cases It has a homicidal tendency that is suddenly and unexpectedly de veloped. Can this be through natural and general causes or is It imitation that produces these mind waves? I believe itis the former that general causes similar to the conditions that produce the grip wave, the cholera wave, the horse dis temper wave or any other disease of a son also tend to unbalance the badly balanced mind." New York Herald. Prlnees Who Cannot llorrow. In regard to the Prussian royal family there is an eiuellent law, which, hud It existed here, would have saved us much money. Ho royul prince is allowed to bor row, and no one is allowed to lend money to him. If any one does lend he cannot recover. ' ActinK on this law, Frederick the Great never repaid any Prussian who had lent him money when he was heir to the throne, for he deemed that such a person had not only violated the law, but onght to lose his money for having done an improper action. Were one of our princes to borrow money, and an application to be made to parliament to repay it, the strong probability is that the house of commons would follow tho example of Frederick the Urent. I would, indeed, go further, I would in flict a heavy line on any one asking to be repaid by parliament, and on any minister asking fur a vote tor any such purpose. boudon Truth. i, ..... . . People and Their "B's." Guest-Why Is It, waiter, tiiat English men dive h's to words that have no ritilit to them and drop thus off others to which tber beloiwf Walter lledneated Hlngllsbmen 'anlly sever do hit, sir. Ilonly the lilunortint hand hilllterale talk that way. New York t'lnies n 1 mm ,u VouaMtlve and people who bate weak luDgaor Asth ma. ihoDld uat Vleo'eOarel'or (VjniumpLloa. It haa aaiwi tbonaavnda. ft dm ooilnlrjp done, ltteuot baa uitaae. lt.ntbe beiinoaKbayrnps Bold everywhere. 9uc LANG & CO.. -IMI'OKTElffl- WHOLESALE CROCERS, TOBACCONISTS, SKTO General Commission Merchants. -OFFICE AND WAREHOUBK- a, 4, 6 and 8 North Pint 8treet, 9. II, 13 and IB Ankeny Street, PORTLAND, OR. We par speelal attention to the sale of OBAIN "N VOMMISHION. gelid as sam ples of Wheat, mid we will advise yon highest market prlees either lu Portland, Taeoina or Han Francisco. Liberal Advances Hade on Bills of Lading. ' Correspondence solicited. DOCTOR tJ, THE GREAT CURE -FOR- INDIGESTION AND CONSTIPATION. mnevs -A fiPBOIFIC roR- Scrofula, Rheumatism, Salt Rheum, Neuralgia And All Other Blood and Skin Disease, It la a poilttve ouro (or all thot painful, dll eateoomplalnuutd complicated troubles tu4 weakiiauen common among our wlrta, mother! and daiiniuctt. The etfeciU immediate and luting. Two or three Uoaen or Da. Pabdee's Kimiuy taken dallr Itfupa the blood cool, the liver and kldueya ani lve, and will entirely eradicate from the ayiiem all trace of (Scrofula, bait ttheum. or any other (ormol blood dlneaae. NomedlcluoeTerlntroduoedln thin oonntrr ha met with inch ready anlu, nor given uoh unlvcnnl KHtislactlon wheuever uted an that of Da. PAfloaa'a Ubhidt. Thin remedy ha been used In the boanltala throuKhout the old world lor the paat twenty rive years u a pacific (or the above diaeaaea. and It nan and will euro when all other ao-oatlied! remedies lull. Heud (or pamphlet of teatlmonlali from thoet who Iiavs been cured by ttn ue. IjiukkIhU tell It at ll.oo per bo i tie. Try U and be eouviuoed. Hot aale by MACK & CO., 9 and II Front 8t., 8an Franolsco. The Mt swm of Scott's Emu 'sio- ..icor.su' tion, scrofula anr' jthe' jr ,of hereditary disease is m .0 its powerful food proper ootfs En!sion rapidly creates healthy flesh proper weight. Hereditary taints develop only when the system becomes weakened. Nothing in the world of medicine has been so successful in dis eases that are most wunacing to life. Phy sicians everywhere prescribe it. Pf.srH l.f Si".tt. k rwrnno. H. Y, AIMWI.K The Best Coat In the WORLD I TheKISH itltAND fli.iniririt u ..I.-. proof, andwlllkcep youdry In ttiahardeititorm. Th HOTf tuflflt i oi.i.ivw.Rpnocinoin(CO(ai,ana oavsraftiaelitirofsulille. Bowargot'luilhitiuiu. iWd buy ft coat if lhe"lfiih Brind" not mi it. lllti.trsiJ tadi l-'Hakinie fre. A. J. TOWKIL liUm, iU.i. I FRAP AXLE Best hi the Worldin II r A 0 T SiUEfirjwBmlUliLlllJL rKAHB WOIII.SKT .Asent. Portland. Or. HM YOU GOT PILES Iftntnra ttleb known by aisrhiT 11 ko pvnpirftUan, otvuio lntiuo twhd tthm warm. Thin form Jl,nm TJKl,rATOiir;i!TO DR. DO-SAN-KO'S PILE RSMftlY, Waloh aoui dlraottr on rria ntfttWb baorbi tumor, lU71toiynHifrrHrtfrif s ;y"rnsVOntiro. lJriofllWxi. PmiprisTta rioA.1. pr. lloaMko.FhiU(llDtia.Ma Prtfstaft SUCKER K. P. N. U. No. 610-3. F. N. O.Ua. tut i . I