The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, November 24, 1893, Image 2

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Highest of all in Leavening Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report.
I i CI 1 .J w
They Didn't Like It.
mOt courne," said Mr. Brown, a real estate
gent, "curious things happen in my busi
ness, just tu in overy other. Now, I fully
xpeeted to rail that top euit of rooms in
the Perpendicular building toft society that
wanted to hire soma clubrooms, but It roted
not to take them."
"What was the trouble V asked a listener.
There's no elevator in the building, and
Mm members wouldn't climb the stairs.' 1
"What did you say the name of the society
was?" some one asked.
The real estate agent looked pensively at
a letter which he held in his hand and
read, "The Eastern Massachusetts Branch
af the American Pedestrian and Mountain
(Himbing association." Youth's Compon-
0tt "
To Hijh Living. ,
Tramp Little girl, la there anr onttage
anxmd hen where I can get a piateful of
anything besides chicken and saparrow
grassr For the last week I've had nothin
but ssparrowgrass an chicken, chicken an
aapsrrowgrsss. If you could only tell me
when I could strike a plate of good, old
fashioned beef, oreren a simple salad, I'd
Mess youl-Life.
c nan. mi rMM
1 A Ban Francisco man had been in bed for
mvexal months with a malady that made
him very nervous and irritable. His wife
and daughter ministered to him assidu
ously, but were sometimes at their wits'
end in trying to satisfy his capricious de
sires. As the young lady said once, her
father was "so unreasonable that he would
scold if an angel were waiting on him."
One night when the mother and daughter
were both thoroughly tired out a yonng
Bun, a friend of the family, was called in
to watch with the sick man for six hours
after midnight. The invalid's wife in
structed him about the medicines and es
pecially cautioned him to be careful about
disturbing the patient.
' "He is very irritable," she said. "Don't
apeak to him except when he speaks to you,
and if he is asleep when the time comes for
him to take his medicine don't disturb
"And by the way," she added as she was
bout leaving the room, "you may like
something to read. Here is Mark Twain's
'Houghing It.' It will amuse you, but you
mustn't laugh while reading it, for Mr.
i wilt fancy you are laughing at him
and will be very much annoyed."
' The young man performed his duties to
the best of his ability, but on going away
. in the morning was thanked rather curtly
by the invalid.' As soon as he was gone
sir. J broke out:
"'See here, mother," said he, "don't ever
send that numskull to watch with me
"Why, father, what do you meant
Wasn't ue attentive lie didn't go to sleep,
didhet" ,.-
"No, no, no. But I was awake for two
hours, ai:U I watched him reading Mark
Twain's book ail that time, and"
"But, father,': interposed Mrs. J 'I
gave him that book to occupy his time.
" "Oh. res. res. That's all right, but that
tool sat there for two hours reading that'
book and never .smiled onoa" Ban 1' rafti
.Cisco Call. . -
'"'..'''. Out of Plae.
A man who had lost his way in a track
lens forest aamejsuduenly upon the signs of
civilization. t
' MauT lights blazed, andsoundsof revelry
buret UDon his car. 1
lie was very glad. j' - J v.- ,., ,
Advancing toward the festive scene, ho
was presently rooted to the spot. , '
- There was much of anguish In his tone
and manner. . . , .
"ianopladaforamen." , ; "".
In the garish gleam of the flaring lights
. be had read that a'summer hotel was before
; him. ..'.'.- '
Turningupon his heel, ha plunged again .
Into the wilderness Detroit Tribune. :
Tenant 6ee bre; Mr. Landlord, the peo
, pie on the floor above dance snd Jump
round all night, and wo can't get any
sleep. Isn't there anything that eon be
donef " '
iMJuunu ' bUVfV IS. UlMiU
1 11 1 .1 .
., take tho flat above them or danoo and.
jump around all'niaht vourselres and keep
tho people boloif awake, Harper's Bazar. J
Sufficient Grounds.
-I'm going tott a divoroe."
' "On what srontadsf"
, "Bigamy. After I married Mm I leaned
Be was wedded to his .money." Brooklyn
Life. '
A Sieiple rteqMst.
. Kdltor-Always write your Jokes on tilt
YetingHumonst VVhyf
, "So I call aw through thaaH-JTrath,
Pretty Cold Weather.
Two boatmen on the Ohio river wore
talking about cold weather and of a cer
tain severe winter. "It was just awful,"
said one of them. "At Cincinnati the
river was froze tight, and the thermom
eter vent down to SO degrees below
'Below which?' asked his puzzled
'Below Cairo, yon blubberheadl Yon
see, when it freezes at Cairo it must be
pretty cold, so they say so many degrees
below Cairo,"
But light was bursting in upon the
other. "No, they do not," he exclaimed
eagerly. "You've got it all wrong. It's
so many degrees below Nero, I do not
know what it means, but that's what
they say when it's dreadful cold." Har
per's Young People.
Rational Ureas lterurm.
At a recent meeting of the Rational
Dress Reform society in London, Lady
Haberton. the high priestess of the or
der, wore a coat bodice ami divided
skirt, reaching half way between hor
knee and ankle, of dark, rough home
spun. Thick, laced boots and high gait
ers were another feature of her attire.
with a rather incongruous finishing
touch in the shape of a large velvet hat
with nodding plumes. The secretary
wore a costume comprising Turkish
trousers and zouave jacket Londor
What a Woman's Club Has Don.
The Woman's Charity cinb of Boston
started less than two years ago a surgi
cal hospital with but forty cents in its
treasury. It has since then bought and
furnished its present quarters, support
ed a staff of nurses and doctors, paid
(83.000 for land on which to erect now
buildings, has tlB.UW at interest for
hospital purposes, and is now examining
plans for a new IS.!) building soon to
bo erected. Tin club has 850 members.
Boston Letter
The Pope's Frugal lire.
The pope, according to Dr. Ceccarellt,
leads a very regular acd frugal life. He
rises at 6 o'clock, says mass at 7, and is
present afterward at the prayers of thanks
giving. Between 8 and I ho takes coffee
milk and eggs. Then he gives private re
ceptions. At 3 o'clock in the afternoon he
makes a slight dinner, soup, a little fish
and very little meat, after which he takes
a little walk in the garden. In the evening
one ot his chaplains says the rosary in the
papal chapel in presence of the pope. To
ward 10 o'clock in the evening tus holiness
eats soup or broth of some kind and at 11
goes to bed. London News.
Two Strange Meetings.
At table d'hote in a New York hotel
two strangers met about a year since.
An interesting conversation ended by
hearty pledges of mutual friendship.
Precisely six months later to the day
and almost to the hour they again met.
without the slightest prevision or preor-
rahgement, (it the same hotel and the
same table. During the interval each
had traveled around the world, one oast-
wan, the other westward. Exchange.
1 Chokes. Mot Jokes,
, , "Don't send the horse reporter to any
more hangings," said the proprietor of a
Texas paper to the managing editor.
Managing Editor Why not?
Proprietor In this report of the double
tanging he has it that the two entries
came m neck add neck. In reporting
executions levity is out of place. Texas
BKtipgs., " ' (
, Hot Experience Enough.
"'A man answered an advertisement of
"Mnn wanted for the life saving service."
".What has been your business'" was the
first question. '
t have been A ilftfttrtr." wm t.V,A renlv.
1 " Yon won't do at all. sir.'.' was the reply.
"We want a man who 'has had someoxperl-
ence in saving life. "Texas outings.
. 'Power of the Press. .
Famous Scientist (excitedly) Something
must be done to stop the spread of the
Anium'faabit among women. '
UFMt Kntar fcalmivv-verr we 1. sir
I'llputtaaparagrapu saying thntahanker
nn for . opium is a shra- of old acre, New
ntork Weekly. .
. . .1 ' .
. -. - An Exception. v-'
, Jphrmle Mmma,-thls book says knowl
edge, ispower. .,. -'
Mamma And it ls,,ray child.
''No, mamma, it isn't, I know there Is a
;ple In the" pantry,' but 1 can't"
aniiae xtuuuW t : ?
! t III .
' ' A Qaeitlon of Shortness.
blnkle- It's a strange thing to me how a
snort man always wants a tall irirl.
Dunkie Hnmpbl It'sastrnnge thing to
me how short man want atiy girl. I'm
bhimed if I do when . I'm short. Buffalo
f. 1 . .
, r . A Payment Ho.Praferredt '
IJirnker-I asked eld Mr. Munn If I
rtiglit pay my addresses to his daughter.
SpAts-Wbat did be say f
Hunker He sumrssted that I pay my
csbls ttisfc Detroit. I'm Eross,
Delayed when wv tsw srar
Frutti ttiti. famllim mu
1 wonder uhii will iHimeand star
In lliediMerlml col.
Beneath lhw elm Iremt who will stand
And llttnk thai home iHMweeu
When we linvi none Into that land
Where parted InniitehiildM ineHtf
Oh. who will wnlh beside thettreaoi. t
Or sit iMuieath the pine,
Todrmai aitalu life's llttledream.
When 'tin not rours, nor mine)'
Will some one fell my favorite tree.
Hnll down the nxMH- wait:
Trie tlilnKt. sodear to ymi and ms.
Will Uiey dmtroy theu all?
, Whose name will be on yonder doorf
WliDne pictures deck the wall?
Whose feet press rouiihly on the door
Where your dear footstep falls?
. : And when the years u renturtse swing
. Till all w love are dead.
Will any echo backward bring
The words that we have said?
! I hope the brook down there will esua
An old familiar tune.
When In a happier home than this
We talk with all our own.
ITor oh. this little home Is swsst,
Kach corner Is so dear:
Ou Heaven without II be complete?
1 would that Hwaven were here. ,
(almost think that from the skies,
If 1 this home ran see,
1 shall waU'h those wllh.envlous eyes
Who live here after me.
"Hushl hushl weshall not ears." yon ear
Dear heart 1 tt may be true;
We shall not then, but oh. today
sly life is here, with you.
-Ju!la H. May in Uood Housekeeping.
Women and Cabs.
Of all the ways in which women are
"pound foolish" there Is none to equal
their way of not taking cabs when they
know they should. It is charged against
them that they will lose a train, catch
their "death o' cold" or be late at a fu
neral rather thun hail a cabby, as men
universally da One especial woman
got a lesson on the subject the day be
fore Christinas, when the mud was of a
peculiarly clinging sort. There were
about a hundred tiresome little errands
she must do down town about noon.
She had vainly tried to elude all her
family on leaving home, but it had been,
'Oh, you U be near the bazaar; do get
the candles for the tree, and the Ger
man mottoes, and "An, please post this
in the postoflics and than It will get
there today." i
The mud began to stick immediately.
and she thought of taking a cub to go
about in, but they are so dear, anil it
was only a "step of a way." Boon the
fust accumulating bundles in her arms
prevented her lifting her skirts, and the
fur binding on its edge dragged it down
on the slimy pavements. Higher and
higher grew the border of mud. Bhe
saw the passers by beginning to glance
sadly at that besmirched gown, as If in
sorrow rather than anger, and then
would gladly have paid one dollar, aye.
or ten dollars, for a vehicle wherein to
hide, only she was too agonizingly dirty
to dare to enter anything cleaner than a
cable car.
Ths next day, in the season of peni
tence spent in brushing her gown, she
struck a balance. Her skirt from navy
blue had turned a vivid azure wherever
the mud bad stained it That meant
spending two dollurs for a braid border;
the damage to her boots was at least two
dollars more, and having to spend a half
hour of Christmas day in cleaning that
horrible skirt would need fifty dollars to
indemnify one. The cab she did not get
would have cost her one dollar. Balance
of tifty -three dollars in favor of the cab.
Chicago I'ost.
A Clever Southern Business Woman.
in the death of lire. D. P. Fanlds
Kentucky's leading business woman Is
carried away. Mrs. Fanlds was born in
Bourbon county, and was a daughter of
Willoughby Scott Bhe was married
twice. Her tint hnsbund was K. K.
Boiling, at one time clerk of ths court
of appeals. It was during the latter
years of his life that Mrs. Fanlds en
tered the china business, in which she
gained a reputation of being a remark
able connoisseur of all pertaining to her
line. Two years after the death of her
first husband she married Fanlds. He
was involved in debt at the time, and
she was able to pledge herself for $30,
000 of the amount All but a very small
portion of this has been paid from the
profits of her business. Louisville Cor.
Ut, Louis Republic.
Cordnroy for Kngllsh Bridesmaids' Gowns.
Corduroy has figured as the material
for bridesmaids' gowns at several re
cent weddings, At one ths eight at
tendants of the bride wore yellow cor
duroy, with bats of yellow felt, trimmed
with yellow ribbons and yellow and
white quills. At another the. brides
maids hod Georgian costumes of "gray
cordnroy, with white waistcoats and
black three cornered bats with white
At a third the single bridesmaid, who
was maid pf honor 'as well, wore white
corduroy, slightly en train, trimmed
with gold passementerie. Her hat was
of white felt, with May white ostrich
tips, and she carried a bonqnet of rum
bronze and yellow chrysanthemums.
London Letter. . ,-"
i i in , ' .ft
Quite Correct. '
Iter. Mr. Hlghys-I .did not an yon
among the congregation yesterday, Mrs.
An !Tlf i. j t " '
Mrs. An Fait No, I was III. but I-tent
my cord by tho coachman. 'lit-uiu.
"It is veryiad," said tin Vt bill, "but
s nee that stucknn goldniece nns neen w
Europe and come back it positively refuses
to recognize me as so equal" Inuianspolla
ITaiuoue "Hides."
The following collections of poetry
and prose on fumuua rides, although
till incomplete, the writer believes to
be the largest yet brought together:
bmeridiuis Hide; Tlioiiuu B. Head.
Turn O'Shiintor's Ride; Robert Burns.
Black Valley R. It. Ride: 1. N. Tar-
box, D. D.
John Gilpin's Ride; William Cowper.
Charlotte Churchman's Rids; A A
Collins Graves Ride; John Boyle
Erl King's Rides Wilholm von Goethe.
Ichabod Crane's Bide; Washington
King of Demark's Ride; C. E, Norton.
Kit Carson's Hide; Joaquin Miller.
Lady Uodlvas Ride; Alfred Tenny
Mary Butler's Ride; B. V. Taylor.
Parson Allen's Ride; Wallace Bruce.
Paul Reveres Ride; H. W. Longfel
low. Ride to Aix; Robert Browning.
Skipper lreson'B Ride: J. G. Whittier.
The Radical Ride: A. J. Walker.
Warren's Ride: K. H. Weston.
Young Lochinvor'a Rids; Walter
To the above may be added Qraysou
McArthnr's Hide, Israel Putnam's liitle,
Wilhelm's Ride with Lenore, John Sul
livan's March, Don (Juixnte's Pinole,
Mozeppa'a Circus Feat, News from Hod
den Field. I'ythios' Homeward Raco,
Ride of the Light Brigade, Rideof Com
memlatore, The Ride for Life and Dick
Turpin's Ride. St. Louis Republic.
The Average Sleeping Boom.
Look into the sleeping room of the
laborer, the clerk, the mechanic, where
they spend from seven to nine hours of
the twenty-fonr. Generally they are
the smallest and most inconvenient
rooms in the house; on the shady side,
with one window, precluding any thor
ough ventilation. Even this one win
dow may be so arranged that ths yiM
will blow directly on the sleepers head
if left open at night. Perhaps there is
a small closet where, for want of other
room, soiled clothing, boots, shoes and
other belongings are kept. Oftentimes
a row of hooks on the wall Is the only
apology for a closet, and ths clothing
hung on them adds to the general stuffi
ness of the room.
In this small, ill ventilated room two
grown persona sleep, with a baby or
small child added sometimes both.
What wonder that the children are cross
and have no appetite in the morning?
How can the parents be fitted for thetr
daily labor, after sleeping In such a
room? The boarding houses are no bet
ter, especially among the cheaper olass,
many sleeping rooms being hardly
larger than a tilosot. Good Housekeep
ing. fyuser Theory About Insanity.
There is something in the atmos
pherii' conditions that develops insanity
and murderous impulses," said a student
of human nature. "That is my theory.
It is like the grip and other diseases that
prevail at certain times and under cer
tain conditions. There are all sorts of
diseases and impulse in people, and it
only needs the conditions to develop
them. Insanity is a peculiar disease,
and to a greater or less degree exists in
a pretty large proportion of mankind.
In most cases it is shown in a harm
less idiosyncrasy and excites no mors
comment than mild ridicule, but in
many cases It has a homicidal tendency
that is suddenly and unexpectedly de
veloped. Can this be through natural
and general causes or is It imitation that
produces these mind waves? I believe itis
the former that general causes similar
to the conditions that produce the grip
wave, the cholera wave, the horse dis
temper wave or any other disease of a
son also tend to unbalance the badly
balanced mind." New York Herald.
Prlnees Who Cannot llorrow.
In regard to the Prussian royal family
there is an eiuellent law, which, hud It
existed here, would have saved us much
money. Ho royul prince is allowed to bor
row, and no one is allowed to lend money
to him. If any one does lend he cannot
recover. ' ActinK on this law, Frederick
the Great never repaid any Prussian
who had lent him money when he was
heir to the throne, for he deemed that
such a person had not only violated the
law, but onght to lose his money for
having done an improper action. Were
one of our princes to borrow money, and
an application to be made to parliament
to repay it, the strong probability is that
the house of commons would follow tho
example of Frederick the Urent. I
would, indeed, go further, I would in
flict a heavy line on any one asking to
be repaid by parliament, and on any
minister asking fur a vote tor any such
purpose. boudon Truth.
i, ..... . .
People and Their "B's."
Guest-Why Is It, waiter, tiiat English
men dive h's to words that have no ritilit to
them and drop thus off others to which
tber beloiwf
Walter lledneated Hlngllsbmen 'anlly
sever do hit, sir. Ilonly the lilunortint
hand hilllterale talk that way. New York
1 mm ,u
VouaMtlve and people
who bate weak luDgaor Asth
ma. ihoDld uat Vleo'eOarel'or
(VjniumpLloa. It haa aaiwi
tbonaavnda. ft dm ooilnlrjp
done, ltteuot baa uitaae.
lt.ntbe beiinoaKbayrnps
Bold everywhere. 9uc
General Commission Merchants.
a, 4, 6 and 8 North Pint 8treet,
9. II, 13 and IB Ankeny Street,
We par speelal attention to the sale of
OBAIN "N VOMMISHION. gelid as sam
ples of Wheat, mid we will advise yon
highest market prlees either lu Portland,
Taeoina or Han Francisco.
Liberal Advances Hade on Bills of
' Correspondence solicited.
Scrofula, Rheumatism,
Salt Rheum, Neuralgia
And All Other Blood and Skin Disease,
It la a poilttve ouro (or all thot painful, dll
eateoomplalnuutd complicated troubles tu4
weakiiauen common among our wlrta, mother!
and daiiniuctt.
The etfeciU immediate and luting. Two or
three Uoaen or Da. Pabdee's Kimiuy taken dallr
Itfupa the blood cool, the liver and kldueya ani
lve, and will entirely eradicate from the ayiiem
all trace of (Scrofula, bait ttheum. or any other
(ormol blood dlneaae.
NomedlcluoeTerlntroduoedln thin oonntrr
ha met with inch ready anlu, nor given uoh
unlvcnnl KHtislactlon wheuever uted an that of
Da. PAfloaa'a Ubhidt.
Thin remedy ha been used In the boanltala
throuKhout the old world lor the paat twenty
rive years u a pacific (or the above diaeaaea.
and It nan and will euro when all other ao-oatlied!
remedies lull.
Heud (or pamphlet of teatlmonlali from thoet
who Iiavs been cured by ttn ue. IjiukkIhU tell
It at ll.oo per bo i tie. Try U and be eouviuoed.
Hot aale by
9 and II Front 8t., 8an Franolsco.
The Mt swm
of Scott's Emu 'sio-'
tion, scrofula anr' jthe' jr ,of
hereditary disease is m .0 its
powerful food proper
ootfs En!sion
rapidly creates healthy flesh
proper weight. Hereditary
taints develop only when the
system becomes weakened.
Nothing in the world
of medicine has been
so successful in dis
eases that are most
wunacing to life. Phy
sicians everywhere
prescribe it.
Pf.srH l.f Si".tt. k rwrnno. H. Y, AIMWI.K
The Best
In the
TheKISH itltAND fli.iniririt u ..I.-.
proof, andwlllkcep youdry In ttiahardeititorm. Th
HOTf tuflflt i oi.i.ivw.Rpnocinoin(CO(ai,ana
oavsraftiaelitirofsulille. Bowargot'luilhitiuiu. iWd
buy ft coat if lhe"lfiih Brind" not mi it. lllti.trsiJ
tadi l-'Hakinie fre. A. J. TOWKIL liUm, iU.i. I
Best hi the Worldin II r A 0 T
rKAHB WOIII.SKT .Asent. Portland. Or.
Iftntnra ttleb known by aisrhiT
11 ko pvnpirftUan, otvuio lntiuo twhd
tthm warm. Thin form Jl,nm
Waloh aoui dlraottr on rria ntfttWb
baorbi tumor, lU71toiynHifrrHrtfrif
s ;y"rnsVOntiro. lJriofllWxi. PmiprisTta
rioA.1. pr. lloaMko.FhiU(llDtia.Ma
K. P. N. U. No. 610-3. F. N. O.Ua. tut
i .