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About The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 27, 1893)
SIR RUPERT. It I RmitoMtri to h Loving Heart, but Vftt In Good Orrier, How 1 hnto I la insignificant little dag of her! I oau iiovit see him without re oifmtHsrins; ths football gme I won by dropping floiil from thn 40-yard linn, but I believe 1 yould kink that dog ut least 15 yards farther. His nntne if taken from the painting of her aih'Krd Elizabethan anctwtor that hanKH in tiie library. Site call him Sir Rupert neususe whon she first got him he aftocted rouuhs. I am not jnslons of Sir Rupert, although af Gourw she does not think entirely tmt little of him. Neither do 1 fear him. Ilia temper is niti urall? uncertain owing to the bewildering succession of fttapft and kisses which in ruined upon him, but his coward ice is his strong point. If be grows bellig erent, a stamp of the foot will send him flying to the other mid of the room to satint bin wrath by chewing the window curtains. Xo, the only feeling with which Sr Ru pert Inspire me is nneof extreme boredom. She always hah him In the parlor whim 1 -cull, and the conversation ia brought down to his intellect ual level. On my part it is a monologue addressed to vacancy. On her part it is a monologue addressed to the dog. Ater 1 hud heard him called "a naughty, naughty doggie" several score of timesand then assured In ttie same hreutb that he is "the dearest, cunningest little fellow in the world" I begin to wonder whether 1 could itml any of the boys at the club. But after what bappeited last Tuesday night Sir Rupert will find that he has an other bone to pick with me. 1 was just saying good night to her when he sneaked between my legs and ont of the npen front door and went bounding up the street as if the paving stones were mi hot, In answer to her passionate appeal I started after him. Fortunately the hour was late and the avenue deserted, for he bad a One start and forced the race. Now, 1 am stouter than waa tn my sprinting days. No one, to look at me, would ever imagine that I once done my hundred yards in nine and a quarter by beating the pistol a trifle at the send on. But alas! unlimited cigars do not increase one's staying powers, and club suppers are not exactlr training tables. I was completely winded before I col lared Sir Rupert. For a time I wondered whether I was ever going to get my breath back. Eveu as I started back with him whining in my hands the lampposts went through a serpentine dance on the corner and the pavement undulated with a long, heavr ground swell. But I didn't mind that. I was thinking of the debt of gratitude she would feel when I restored him SHfely to her. She was still standing on the steps as I came up. 1 handed Sir Rupert to her, and she clasped him in her arms with a joyful little cry. Then she turned to me and said reproachfully: "Oh. how could you make him run so! 1 can feel his poor little heart beating terrt bly!"-Brooklyn Life. Hardly' an Advertisement. Rinnick Did you hear about poor Kind ley' Ouidney No. Whatabout him! Binnlck Why, only 12 months ago he in vested ail his money in a new iuventlon and built a large fuctory, and lust night a are broke out ami burned it to the ground, walls nnd all. Quidney Poor beggar! By the way, what tine was be in! Sinnick-Patent fireproof building ma terials. Yankee Blade. WnUMer's Prank Criticism. A Paris letter says that Whistler se riously criticised one, of Dimmit's pic twos in a Paris art exhibition a week or so ago, and the next day a mutual friend mischievously introduced the two men. Meantime the censorious ex pressions of the former bad been widely repeated, "tllad to meet you,' Mr. Whistler, Dannat is reported as having aid, "particularly glad at this moment, as 1 hear yon hare been running down my pictures behind my bac k." Yea, returned the adept in the gentle art of making enemies; "I did say something rather harsh about it, and it was behind yonr back, as 1 never before had the pleasure of seeing yon face to face. "Now that I do see yon, I will do yon the favor to tell you the contribution yon have sent to this salon has no busi- s here. This is a collection of pic tures, and you should be informed that half a dozen figures outlined on a wall do not constitute a picture. Something of intelligent composition, some attempt to represent an idea, some respect for the truths of nature ore prime requisites, and your flat drawing over there does not embody any of these qualities. Good morning, Mr. Dannat!" THK FOUNTAIN BEAD OF BTltKNGTH When we recollect that the stomach l the vrand laboraiury in which food a transformed inio the accretions whlnh furnish vltfor to the system after entering ami enrichine the blood; that it la In short the fountain headof alrensth, it Is essential to keep this Important supplying machine In order and to restore it to activity when It becomes inactive. This Hosteller's Stomach Bitters does moat effectually, season, nbly, regulating and reinforcing digestion, pro- mollnff rinn action of the liver Slid bOWell. Wlrenglh and quietude of the nerves depend in great measure upon thorough digestion There is no nervine tonic more highly esteemed by the medical fraternity than the Bittern. Physi cians also aliongly commend it for chills and fever, rheumatism, kidney and bladder trouble, aick headache and want of appetite and sleep. Take s wlneglassful three liuius a day. Professor l'oltcrby-Thc body of the frog, gen tlemen, is composed almost wholly of water. trcshlclgn spring water: SAFE, SOKE AND SPEEDY. Mosquitoes That Kever Lived. Some of the good peoplo of Stratford, Conn., decided this year to drain about forty acres of marsh land and had the necessary ditcheB dug. Afterward some of the ditches were partially filled up and the marsh water stagnated therein. On examination the water was found to be a saturated solution of mosquito larva). The local scientists foensed their powerful intellects and microscopes upon a specimen of the water and fig ured it out that the prospective mos quito population had been 20,000,000 to the acre. As there were forty acres drained, the appalling fact is apparent that 800,000, 000 promising members of the mosquito race, who might hare done good and telling work upon the Connecticut coun try boarders this year, were thus cut off before their youth bad a chance to flower or even to sprout, or, to come down from metaphor to fact, to crack the shell of the embryotic state. Among other things, this little story teaches us to keep away this summer from un drained marshes. New York Tribune. No external remedy ever yet devised has so fully and unquestionably met these three prime conditions as successfully as Aixcocx'a Porous Plasties. They aie safe because they contain no deleterious drugs and are manufactured upon scientific prin ciples of medicine. They are sure because nothing goes into them except ingredients which are eiactlv adaDted to the p rposes for which a plaster is required. Tltey are speedy in their action because their ihedic inal qualities go right to their work Sf re lieving nain and restoring the natural and healthy performance of the functions of muscles, nerves ana sxin. ask lor ai.ii cock's, and do not be induced to accept a substitute. Bbandketh s Pills are safe and sure. It la said aood whisky ean be bouuht in East ern Tennessee for accents a gallon, but tba;'s all moonshine. DEAFNESS CANNOT UK CUBED A Potato Vine Imitating th Lemon Trees. 3. W. (J. Pogue brought in to Visalia this morning s remarkable freak of na ture in the shape of a potato vine upon which was growing potatoes in all stages of development, from the size of a mar ble to one as large as the average Early Rose, The vine was discovered in Mr. Pogue's lemon grove. The seed planted was of the Early Rose variety, and some of the potatoes will be planted out to see if they will reproduce. When the vine was pulled up a few small potatoes were found at the root, but ou the vine there must have been a hundred. The only explanation Mr. Pogue can offer is that the potato must have thought it to be its duty to produce lemons, as is was sur rounded by that fruit, and that it made an honest effort in that direction. Visalia Times. Bv local annlicatlons. aa they cannot reach the diseased portion of the ear. There is only one way to cure deafness, and that is by constitu tional remedies. Deafness is caused bv an in- flamed condition of the mucous lining of the eustachian tube. When this tube is inliamed you have a rumbling sound or Imperfect bear ing, and when It is entirely closed deafness is the result, aud unless the inflammation can be taken out and this tube restored to its normal condition, hearing will be destroyed forever; nine cases out of ten are caused bv catarrh, which is nothing but an inflamed condition of the mucosa surfaces. We will give One Hundred Dollars for any esse of deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured by usll a ualarrn uure. cna lor cir culars, free. F. J.CHKNKr A-pO., Toledo, O. gold by druggists; 75 cents. CwltisjnllneBtove Polish: no dust, no smell. Tit Gebmka for breakfast. The Modern Way. "I have been reading about the new rail way at Jerusalem," sttid Mrs, Snaggs to her husband, "Isn't it strange!" "Very," replied Mr. Sitaggs. "People no longer go down from Jerusa lem to Jericho by the old way aud fall among thieves." "No, not exactly, but now they have to meet the Pullman porter and the candy butcher." Pittsburg Chronicle, furseeing. Hardhood I have half a million iuBur anoe on my life now! Friend Good gruciousl Why do you -carry such a load as ttmt! Hardhcad-I want my family to have aomothing left after they get through light ing the insurance cotupufltee for the mouey. -New York Weekly. Impossible. Hostess I didn't see Mr. Lighthead at the play last night. Was be ill! Friend of Mr, Fweddy Lighthead No. Beobangcd his mind about going. That was all. Hostess Changed his mind! How queer! Aren't you mistaken, Mr. de Yudof Chi--cago Tribune. He Was Good. Mamma Were you s good little boy while I was away! Little Johnnie Yes'm. I went into the storeroom to see what was there, and it was empty, and the wind blew the door shut, and J couldn't get out till Jane came just a little while ago. Good News. A Bequest. Trcctop In the big stores I was in they seemed to expect me to stand on m J head. Hayrick Did they ask youf Treetop Not exactly, but every time 1 tried to get in the elevator the boy shut the door and said, "Other side up, please" Brooklyn Life. Literary Item. Ous do Smith May I read you my last uoem about the discovery of America! Miss Birdie McUinnis Is it really your last! , "It is my very last" "Then you may read it." Texas Sittings. A Substitute. Brer Johnsing-How much you say dot plaster done cos ! Drug Clerk Twenty-five cent. Brer Johnslng Gimme one of dem new stamps, boss. I ain't so millynnair. Bos ton Courier. Whom Flies Come From. If bv stealth a man should let in a lit tle light and air that is a man's idea of cooling a room, to open it wider than the Chicago expositiou and let in all the dust aud heat and noise and flies and glare the street ran pour into it he is discovered every time. She whose genius had tnude every room in the house a storage warehouse for night air comes in and wonders "Where all these flies came from?" He, with extravagant gesticulation, doesn't know at least he says he doesn't, and doesn't care, which ia true; what he wants to know is when they are going back again? Robert J. Burdette in Ladies' Home Journal. Weak and Poor In flesh, had acouxh all the time, and Bnmetimes I could not lie diwn lor 1 wss bo dint rented. short o( brealb. I consulted bpvcu phys! iiaaM:.dtl:erooelusinn wasthaW certainly had Consumption and my rase wnn hope less. One i!.y!ci:m vised me to ko cither south or to i :olorado, as I emild not Jive i'i the north. My husband wss tn thedrusbusiutss and sold out to ro a ay, but a friend advised me to lake Hood's Bursajst.ri.iii. 1 did no aad have Improved rapidity In Hood'sCures bomlth ever time I bt'ituu with it, and am now aide tn do my own work. 1 feel like a new person." Mab. F. O. STONK,(ieueva,Ohlo. eT Jlrs.F.OStont Hood's PillseurecouMipatlun. 25c. The Lateat Horror. Scientists have built for advertisers, by an arrangement of mirrors, reflecting glasses aud lights, a sort of gigautic magic lantern, by which images can be thrown upon the clouds, so that adver tisements in letters 100 feet long will be visible over a dozen counties. On ttie bosom of an advancing cyclone hor rified humanity of the future will be able to read in gigantic letters "Use Blank's Chest Protector," "Try Brag em's Pills." Minneapolis Journal. The Y. ML C. A. In France. The cornerstone of the new building of the Paris Young Men's Christian as sociation has been laid with appropriate ceremony at 14 Rue de Trevise. The efforts in promoting the good work bare evidently been most successful, and the undertaking is sure to have the good wishes of the community at large, American Register. DeatJi Bate Among Babies. "The large death rate among babies," said a leading physician, "results to a great extent from the injudicious use of cow's milk. The child's stomach is too weak to bear anything but mother's milk or lao- tated food. This lactated food is a pure substitute for the natural diet, and in many oases in my practice has, I believe, saved tan child's life," Queen BUsabetk DMn't Use Forks, It ia difficult for us to realize what eomparatively modern Invention the table fork is, or how our ancestors managed to (et along without it. Queen Elisabeth sever heard of suoh an implement, and it was many years after her death that the Orst table, or "dinner," fork waa brought "Irl E Ji B I. d JL J 70VT LTSTEN to the dealer who In bout on biKr proltte. The thing that he waittgyou to buy, whon you fwk (op Dr. Pierce1 Favorite Prescrip tion, isn't ' just aa good." Proof of this ia easy. Tho only guaranteed remedy for tho ailments of woman hood is the " Favorite Pre acrirrtion.n If it ever fails to beuaflt or euro, in mak ing weak women strong I or iufferinj women well, you have your money oacit. Anything "Inrt as rood." or u sure to bring help, could be, and would be, Bold in just that way. This guaranteed medicine is an invigora ting, restorative tonic, especially adapted to woman's needs and perfectly harmless in any oondition of her system. It builds up, strengthens, regulates, and 1 (111 For Deriodical nains. bearine-down sensa tions, ulceration, in flamniation- every thing that's known as a " female complaint," it's a remedy that's safe, certain, and proved. Guns for Everybody. Brooklyn Hotel 201-21! Bush St., San Francisco. This favorite hotel is tinder the management Of CHARLKH MONTGOMERY, and it aa good U not the best Family and BuBtDeu Men's Hotel in Hau Francisco. Home Comforts! Cuisine Unexcelled ! First-class service and the highest standard of respectability guaranteed. Our room cannot As $urpaed for neatntM and comfort. Board and room per dav,1.2A, 11.60,11.76 and 92.00; board and room per week, 97 to $12; single rooms, Wo toll. Free coach to and from hotel. DOCTOR Frtfshfiif, THE GREAT CURE -FOR- INDIGESTION CONSTIPATION. Just received a full line ol Parker, Smith, Remington, Ithioa, Lefever, U. M. C, Etc. The mont complete stock in the Northwest Send 5 cents in tutimi for 112-omre illustrated catalogue. THE H. T. HUDSON ARMS CO., 93 First Street, PORTLAND, OB. Regulator of theLiverandKidoeys DR. GUNirs 0HI0N SYRUP F0R COUGHS. COLDS AMD CROUP. GRANDMOTHER'S ADVICE. which It already pre pa rod tutd marr pleasant to th Uete. Sold everrwlwr. LM bortlei 00 Mnta. T do ubatttuio (or lb. There's notiiial 4. SOCIETY BADGES. A. FKLDSNHXIH KR. Leadine Jew eler e( the Pacific Northwest, keeps a large biock oi &u SECRET BOCIETY BADuRa on band. Best eoods at low est figures. Badges maae to oraer. Scrofula, Rheumatism, Salt Rheum, Neuralgia And All Other Blood aad Skin Diseases. It Is a positive cure for all those nainfnl. deli cate complaints and complicated troubles and weakneeeti common among our wires, mothers and daugnters. Tne effect ib immediate and lastlnsr. Two or three doses of Db. Pardee's Rbmkdy taken daily seeps ine oiooa cooi, tne liver ana smneys act ive, and will entirely eradicate from the system all traces of Scrofula, Salt Rheum, or any other form of blood disease. no medicine ever introduced in this coontrv has met with such ready sale, nor given such universal satisfaction whenever used as that at De. fabdkk's remedy. This remedy has been used In the hosDitals throughout the old world for the past twenty- and it has and will cure when all other so-oalled' remedies lau. Send for Damnhlet of testimonials from those who have been cured by Its use. Druggists sell it at $1.00 per bottle. Try it and be convinced. For sal by MACK & CO., 0 and II Front St., San Franolico. EOCENE. Ia a Special brand of Burning Oil, which we manm&ciure expreanjy ior r ajsiiji aa. IT IS A PtCRf BCT ILLUMINATOR. IT I". HII1H KTKK TKHT. IT ItS OP UNIKOKM QUALITY. We guarantee it to be the highest rossiBUt QBADB OF ILLUHIMATlNu Oil AB lOr IV- STANDARD OIL COMPANY. MASQUERADES, PARADES, If I A .itTlil H THEATKICAM). Evervthlnsr in the above line. Costumes, Wigs, BeardB, Propertie, Opera and Play Books, etc., famished at greatly reduced rates and in supe rior qualitv bv the oldest, largest, beat renowned alia mereiore uniy tvuwjw; i urmrwu auyyty Hwc on tlu: laciflc Coant. Correspondence so licitMl. am.iMTKiit & Co.. 26. 28 and 30 U'Parrell street, also Market street, Ban Francisco. We supply all Thmieri on the Coast, to whom we re spectfully refer. Sets G0ot&.ftDd SLUOuer Bottle? Oneoeatadooe. Tmt Grkat CopqhCukb promptly mret wnei-6 au otners tau, vougna, .roup. bi Tbroai, Hoarseness, wnoopinf tougu idu Aathma. For Cooaumptico it bat no rival; has cured thousands, and will CURB too u taken in time. Bold by Urugfriata on a guar antee, ror a iame nac or tuwu SHILOH'8 BELLADONNA PLA8TER JS50. H I L 0 H'SVCATA R R H igREMEDY. wiVni lutjirriiV Thia mmndvifliruaranai teed to cure you. FriccGUot. injector free CHIL Have you CRD PIHCi.DUIl Untie? Lands and Invest- run uoLirunnin numLo. meats, aed for CIHJUli & BAKKft'M Real KsiaU) I Dvpstmeat Circular, Ire-. 1004 uboauway, uaitiaim, v,tu IE TORS on .Installments. Best makes. lwest itnrCB. Bend lor catalogue. ENGRAVING!! WW FRIKTKKS SHOULD and bcm moto-ei lnirm-n 111 Kan Cisco wus established jn 1S77 by lhi Mummer i,l iIih DKWEY. KK- (iliAVlNU CO., wlio Imisvcured the latest end UiBt improve ini'ii u.si'crPlprDcessea uml a lull complement of the most approved machinery, pholo up- piirniUH-powenmpn'c- Ibis "August Flower" I have been troubled with dyspep sia, but after a fair trial of August Flower, am freed from the vexatious trouble J. B. Young, Daughters College, Harrodsburg, Ky. I had headache one year steady. One bottle of August Flower cured me. It was positively worth one hundred dollars tome J. W. Smith, P.M. and Gen. Merchant, Townsend, Ont I have used it myself for constipation and dyspepsia and it cured me, It is the best seller I ever handledC. Ruga, Druggist, Mechauicsburg, Pa. , a rn.BS known br BjlajDiafd'or fBO-riiUUiNQ xikxi T1KLD AT 0!rK TO OR. BO-SAN-KO'S PILE REMEDY, which acta dirwtlf oa part afftMtad. BkhtHirtaB tumors. aUara itwhjQi.eflreotttit Ml .n.MiMntinim. Frio bba. TJmUTsttsita have "n" when wn rou GOT nlAnan. ft tlima ftUt IhS hilttll'St ClaSS of WOfl priceH lor all klnda of engruving. Publishers lielpi Eijgeiup apwittl issui'8. Jot) printers and otnra A.T..UitWiiV.Muiiirl2ajMi.rkelfcit., H. F., iJfli. FRAZER AXLE GREASE Best in the World! Get the Genuine! I B IMS WOOLSST, Aleut, r ortlmd, Or, N. P. N. U. No. 615-8. F. N. TJ. No. I A SPECIFIC FOE- Hercules Gas Enoirj (GAB OB GASOLINE) Mad tor Power or Pumping Purposes T&e Cheapest Reliable Ons StUfiam oa ibe Markets : Out or Enami smo Pwsf. Par HlmpHcltr it Beats this World. it oils Itself from a Reservoir, Wo Carburetor to get out of ordae. No Batteries or Bleotrle 8 park It runs wltli a Cheaper Oriufo of Gasoline (haa MT ower Juitfiue, KND YOU CATAUWITB TO PALMER & REY, ManufactuRIM. 4Dtj Sawomi Stmt, San francia,W. ; PORTLAND. OBIOOM. RL00D POISON ASPECIAtTY.ETSfflS Bypbills pcrtrjRnently cured In 16 to86lBys. Voa can be treuUKl at borne fur the same price aud tho same Buaranteeai with thoae who prefer to onto hore we wlUoontract toenre them or refund money and pnf expense of coming, railroad faro and hotel bills, live mil to cure.,ir y roa have taken pains, M ucoiFatcheatn month, More Throat t.'oiurea npou, aj icvrsuii an Hair Or Fyebruwa Itklllm ury, Iodide potaahnndriUIt have aches and Dm no. mucouaruicnestiiiiiuuuiii.iitiFso a. unnh IlBipleaiCoppr'olored Hpota, U Icersnn any Dart of the body. Hair or Fyebruwa ftklllnr out. It Is this Syphilitic MMH1 lOIH4N IDUW9 punuicawiiurei no buiicid ua urn obstinate eases and challenge the world for n coae weeunnotcare ThladlseaflehuaaJwaya baffled the skill of the moat eminent phyal claoa SOOO,00 capital tHthtnd our onoondl tional guarantee, AbaolaleproonisentBeakMloa application. Address tXMlK. KKMEllV to lMl Maaoalc Temple CUcaioIU MRS. WINSLOW'S nWu'P FOR CHILDREN TEETHING -far aale by all ttnifliU. H6 OeaU a tattle. "A FAIR FACE MAY PROVE A FOUL BAR GAIN." MARRY A PLAIN GIRL IF SHE USES SAPOLIO RHEUMATISM CURED BY THE USE OF Moore's Revealed Remedy. A prow A, OiuwoK. Januarr lfl. I can state with rWan thai: hvth m MOOKK'B KKVKALHU KEMBDY my husbaad wm relioyed from au old case at EHKUMATWM and my youngest boy cured entirely of INKLAM M ATOli Y fiHKl MAT1BM when the best doctor I oould get did Aim no good. Yours In gratUi1 mam, a, v, VfKKLM-' tato England. tOLO ST TOW DRVtMIIST. u.