SIR RUPERT.
It I RmitoMtri to h Loving Heart, but Vftt
In Good Orrier,
How 1 hnto I la insignificant little dag
of her! I oau iiovit see him without re
oifmtHsrins; ths football gme I won by
dropping floiil from thn 40-yard linn, but I
believe 1 yould kink that dog ut least 15
yards farther.
His nntne if taken from the painting of
her aih'Krd Elizabethan anctwtor that
hanKH in tiie library. Site call him Sir
Rupert neususe whon she first got him he
aftocted rouuhs.
I am not jnslons of Sir Rupert, although
af Gourw she does not think entirely tmt
little of him. Neither do 1 fear him. Ilia
temper is niti urall? uncertain owing to the
bewildering succession of fttapft and kisses
which in ruined upon him, but his coward
ice is his strong point. If be grows bellig
erent, a stamp of the foot will send him
flying to the other mid of the room to
satint bin wrath by chewing the window
curtains.
Xo, the only feeling with which Sr Ru
pert Inspire me is nneof extreme boredom.
She always hah him In the parlor whim 1
-cull, and the conversation ia brought down
to his intellect ual level.
On my part it is a monologue addressed
to vacancy. On her part it is a monologue
addressed to the dog.
Ater 1 hud heard him called "a naughty,
naughty doggie" several score of timesand
then assured In ttie same hreutb that he is
"the dearest, cunningest little fellow in the
world" I begin to wonder whether 1 could
itml any of the boys at the club.
But after what bappeited last Tuesday
night Sir Rupert will find that he has an
other bone to pick with me.
1 was just saying good night to her when
he sneaked between my legs and ont of the
npen front door and went bounding up the
street as if the paving stones were mi hot,
In answer to her passionate appeal I
started after him. Fortunately the hour
was late and the avenue deserted, for he
bad a One start and forced the race.
Now, 1 am stouter than waa tn my
sprinting days. No one, to look at me,
would ever imagine that I once done my
hundred yards in nine and a quarter by
beating the pistol a trifle at the send on.
But alas! unlimited cigars do not increase
one's staying powers, and club suppers are
not exactlr training tables.
I was completely winded before I col
lared Sir Rupert. For a time I wondered
whether I was ever going to get my breath
back. Eveu as I started back with him
whining in my hands the lampposts went
through a serpentine dance on the corner
and the pavement undulated with a long,
heavr ground swell.
But I didn't mind that. I was thinking
of the debt of gratitude she would feel when
I restored him SHfely to her.
She was still standing on the steps as I
came up.
1 handed Sir Rupert to her, and she
clasped him in her arms with a joyful little
cry.
Then she turned to me and said reproachfully:
"Oh. how could you make him run so! 1
can feel his poor little heart beating terrt
bly!"-Brooklyn Life.
Hardly' an Advertisement.
Rinnick Did you hear about poor Kind
ley'
Ouidney No. Whatabout him!
Binnlck Why, only 12 months ago he in
vested ail his money in a new iuventlon
and built a large fuctory, and lust night a
are broke out ami burned it to the ground,
walls nnd all.
Quidney Poor beggar! By the way,
what tine was be in!
Sinnick-Patent fireproof building ma
terials. Yankee Blade.
WnUMer's Prank Criticism.
A Paris letter says that Whistler se
riously criticised one, of Dimmit's pic
twos in a Paris art exhibition a week or
so ago, and the next day a mutual
friend mischievously introduced the two
men. Meantime the censorious ex
pressions of the former bad been widely
repeated, "tllad to meet you,' Mr.
Whistler, Dannat is reported as having
aid, "particularly glad at this moment,
as 1 hear yon hare been running down
my pictures behind my bac k."
Yea, returned the adept in the
gentle art of making enemies; "I did
say something rather harsh about it,
and it was behind yonr back, as 1 never
before had the pleasure of seeing yon
face to face.
"Now that I do see yon, I will do yon
the favor to tell you the contribution
yon have sent to this salon has no busi-
s here. This is a collection of pic
tures, and you should be informed that
half a dozen figures outlined on a wall
do not constitute a picture. Something
of intelligent composition, some attempt
to represent an idea, some respect for
the truths of nature ore prime requisites,
and your flat drawing over there does
not embody any of these qualities. Good
morning, Mr. Dannat!"
THK FOUNTAIN BEAD OF BTltKNGTH
When we recollect that the stomach l the
vrand laboraiury in which food a transformed
inio the accretions whlnh furnish vltfor to the
system after entering ami enrichine the blood;
that it la In short the fountain headof alrensth,
it Is essential to keep this Important supplying
machine In order and to restore it to activity
when It becomes inactive. This Hosteller's
Stomach Bitters does moat effectually, season,
nbly, regulating and reinforcing digestion, pro-
mollnff rinn action of the liver Slid bOWell.
Wlrenglh and quietude of the nerves depend in
great measure upon thorough digestion There
is no nervine tonic more highly esteemed by
the medical fraternity than the Bittern. Physi
cians also aliongly commend it for chills and
fever, rheumatism, kidney and bladder trouble,
aick headache and want of appetite and sleep.
Take s wlneglassful three liuius a day.
Professor l'oltcrby-Thc body of the frog, gen
tlemen, is composed almost wholly of water.
trcshlclgn spring water:
SAFE, SOKE AND SPEEDY.
Mosquitoes That Kever Lived.
Some of the good peoplo of Stratford,
Conn., decided this year to drain about
forty acres of marsh land and had the
necessary ditcheB dug. Afterward some
of the ditches were partially filled up
and the marsh water stagnated therein.
On examination the water was found to
be a saturated solution of mosquito
larva). The local scientists foensed their
powerful intellects and microscopes
upon a specimen of the water and fig
ured it out that the prospective mos
quito population had been 20,000,000 to
the acre.
As there were forty acres drained, the
appalling fact is apparent that 800,000,
000 promising members of the mosquito
race, who might hare done good and
telling work upon the Connecticut coun
try boarders this year, were thus cut off
before their youth bad a chance to
flower or even to sprout, or, to come
down from metaphor to fact, to crack
the shell of the embryotic state. Among
other things, this little story teaches us
to keep away this summer from un
drained marshes. New York Tribune.
No external remedy ever yet devised has
so fully and unquestionably met these
three prime conditions as successfully as
Aixcocx'a Porous Plasties. They aie safe
because they contain no deleterious drugs
and are manufactured upon scientific prin
ciples of medicine. They are sure because
nothing goes into them except ingredients
which are eiactlv adaDted to the p rposes
for which a plaster is required. Tltey are
speedy in their action because their ihedic
inal qualities go right to their work Sf re
lieving nain and restoring the natural and
healthy performance of the functions of
muscles, nerves ana sxin. ask lor ai.ii
cock's, and do not be induced to accept a
substitute.
Bbandketh s Pills are safe and sure.
It la said aood whisky ean be bouuht in East
ern Tennessee for accents a gallon, but tba;'s
all moonshine.
DEAFNESS CANNOT UK CUBED
A Potato Vine Imitating th Lemon Trees.
3. W. (J. Pogue brought in to Visalia
this morning s remarkable freak of na
ture in the shape of a potato vine upon
which was growing potatoes in all stages
of development, from the size of a mar
ble to one as large as the average Early
Rose, The vine was discovered in Mr.
Pogue's lemon grove. The seed planted
was of the Early Rose variety, and some
of the potatoes will be planted out to see
if they will reproduce. When the vine
was pulled up a few small potatoes were
found at the root, but ou the vine there
must have been a hundred. The only
explanation Mr. Pogue can offer is that
the potato must have thought it to be its
duty to produce lemons, as is was sur
rounded by that fruit, and that it
made an honest effort in that direction.
Visalia Times.
Bv local annlicatlons. aa they cannot reach the
diseased portion of the ear. There is only one
way to cure deafness, and that is by constitu
tional remedies. Deafness is caused bv an in-
flamed condition of the mucous lining of the
eustachian tube. When this tube is inliamed
you have a rumbling sound or Imperfect bear
ing, and when It is entirely closed deafness is
the result, aud unless the inflammation can be
taken out and this tube restored to its normal
condition, hearing will be destroyed forever;
nine cases out of ten are caused bv catarrh,
which is nothing but an inflamed condition of
the mucosa surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
esse of deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot
be cured by usll a ualarrn uure. cna lor cir
culars, free. F. J.CHKNKr A-pO.,
Toledo, O.
gold by druggists; 75 cents.
CwltisjnllneBtove Polish: no dust, no smell.
Tit Gebmka for breakfast.
The Modern Way.
"I have been reading about the new rail
way at Jerusalem," sttid Mrs, Snaggs to
her husband, "Isn't it strange!"
"Very," replied Mr. Sitaggs.
"People no longer go down from Jerusa
lem to Jericho by the old way aud fall
among thieves."
"No, not exactly, but now they have to
meet the Pullman porter and the candy
butcher." Pittsburg Chronicle,
furseeing.
Hardhood I have half a million iuBur
anoe on my life now!
Friend Good gruciousl Why do you
-carry such a load as ttmt!
Hardhcad-I want my family to have
aomothing left after they get through light
ing the insurance cotupufltee for the mouey.
-New York Weekly.
Impossible.
Hostess I didn't see Mr. Lighthead at
the play last night. Was be ill!
Friend of Mr, Fweddy Lighthead No.
Beobangcd his mind about going. That
was all.
Hostess Changed his mind! How queer!
Aren't you mistaken, Mr. de Yudof Chi--cago
Tribune.
He Was Good.
Mamma Were you s good little boy
while I was away!
Little Johnnie Yes'm. I went into the
storeroom to see what was there, and it was
empty, and the wind blew the door shut,
and J couldn't get out till Jane came just a
little while ago. Good News.
A Bequest.
Trcctop In the big stores I was in they
seemed to expect me to stand on m J head.
Hayrick Did they ask youf
Treetop Not exactly, but every time 1
tried to get in the elevator the boy shut the
door and said, "Other side up, please"
Brooklyn Life.
Literary Item.
Ous do Smith May I read you my last
uoem about the discovery of America!
Miss Birdie McUinnis Is it really your
last! ,
"It is my very last"
"Then you may read it." Texas Sittings.
A Substitute.
Brer Johnsing-How much you say dot
plaster done cos !
Drug Clerk Twenty-five cent.
Brer Johnslng Gimme one of dem new
stamps, boss. I ain't so millynnair. Bos
ton Courier.
Whom Flies Come From.
If bv stealth a man should let in a lit
tle light and air that is a man's idea of
cooling a room, to open it wider than
the Chicago expositiou and let in all the
dust aud heat and noise and flies and
glare the street ran pour into it he is
discovered every time. She whose
genius had tnude every room in the
house a storage warehouse for night air
comes in and wonders "Where all these
flies came from?" He, with extravagant
gesticulation, doesn't know at least he
says he doesn't, and doesn't care, which
ia true; what he wants to know is when
they are going back again? Robert J.
Burdette in Ladies' Home Journal.
Weak and Poor
In flesh, had acouxh all the time, and Bnmetimes
I could not lie diwn lor 1 wss bo dint rented.
short o( brealb. I
consulted bpvcu phys!
iiaaM:.dtl:erooelusinn wasthaW certainly had
Consumption
and my rase wnn hope
less. One i!.y!ci:m
vised me to ko cither
south or to i :olorado, as
I emild not Jive i'i the
north. My husband wss
tn thedrusbusiutss and
sold out to ro a ay, but
a friend advised me to lake Hood's Bursajst.ri.iii.
1 did no aad have Improved rapidity In
Hood'sCures
bomlth ever time I bt'ituu with it, and am
now aide tn do my own work. 1 feel like a new
person." Mab. F. O. STONK,(ieueva,Ohlo.
eT Jlrs.F.OStont
Hood's PillseurecouMipatlun. 25c.
The Lateat Horror.
Scientists have built for advertisers,
by an arrangement of mirrors, reflecting
glasses aud lights, a sort of gigautic
magic lantern, by which images can be
thrown upon the clouds, so that adver
tisements in letters 100 feet long will
be visible over a dozen counties. On
ttie bosom of an advancing cyclone hor
rified humanity of the future will be
able to read in gigantic letters "Use
Blank's Chest Protector," "Try Brag
em's Pills." Minneapolis Journal.
The Y. ML C. A. In France.
The cornerstone of the new building
of the Paris Young Men's Christian as
sociation has been laid with appropriate
ceremony at 14 Rue de Trevise. The
efforts in promoting the good work
bare evidently been most successful,
and the undertaking is sure to have the
good wishes of the community at large,
American Register.
DeatJi Bate Among Babies.
"The large death rate among babies,"
said a leading physician, "results to a great
extent from the injudicious use of cow's
milk. The child's stomach is too weak to
bear anything but mother's milk or lao-
tated food. This lactated food is a pure
substitute for the natural diet, and in many
oases in my practice has, I believe, saved
tan child's life,"
Queen BUsabetk DMn't Use Forks,
It ia difficult for us to realize what
eomparatively modern Invention the table
fork is, or how our ancestors managed to
(et along without it. Queen Elisabeth
sever heard of suoh an implement, and it
was many years after her death that the
Orst table, or "dinner," fork waa brought
"Irl
E Ji B I. d JL J
70VT LTSTEN
to the dealer who In bout
on biKr proltte. The
thing that he waittgyou to
buy, whon you fwk (op Dr.
Pierce1 Favorite Prescrip
tion, isn't ' just aa good."
Proof of this ia easy. Tho
only guaranteed remedy
for tho ailments of woman
hood is the " Favorite Pre
acrirrtion.n If it ever fails
to beuaflt or euro, in mak
ing weak women strong
I or iufferinj women well,
you have your money
oacit.
Anything "Inrt as rood." or u sure to
bring help, could be, and would be, Bold in
just that way.
This guaranteed medicine is an invigora
ting, restorative tonic, especially adapted to
woman's needs and perfectly harmless in any
oondition of her system.
It builds up, strengthens, regulates, and
1 (111
For Deriodical nains. bearine-down sensa
tions, ulceration, in flamniation- every thing
that's known as a " female complaint," it's a
remedy that's safe, certain, and proved.
Guns for Everybody.
Brooklyn Hotel
201-21! Bush St., San Francisco.
This favorite hotel is tinder the management
Of CHARLKH MONTGOMERY, and it aa good U
not the best Family and BuBtDeu Men's Hotel
in Hau Francisco.
Home Comforts! Cuisine Unexcelled !
First-class service and the highest standard of
respectability guaranteed. Our room cannot As
$urpaed for neatntM and comfort. Board and
room per dav,1.2A, 11.60,11.76 and 92.00; board
and room per week, 97 to $12; single rooms, Wo
toll. Free coach to and from hotel.
DOCTOR
Frtfshfiif,
THE GREAT CURE
-FOR-
INDIGESTION
CONSTIPATION.
Just received a full line ol
Parker, Smith, Remington, Ithioa,
Lefever, U. M. C, Etc.
The mont complete stock in the Northwest
Send 5 cents in tutimi for 112-omre illustrated
catalogue.
THE H. T. HUDSON ARMS CO.,
93 First Street, PORTLAND, OB.
Regulator of theLiverandKidoeys
DR. GUNirs
0HI0N
SYRUP
F0R COUGHS.
COLDS
AMD CROUP.
GRANDMOTHER'S ADVICE.
which It already pre pa rod tutd marr pleasant to th
Uete. Sold everrwlwr. LM bortlei 00 Mnta.
T do ubatttuio (or lb. There's notiiial 4.
SOCIETY
BADGES.
A. FKLDSNHXIH
KR. Leadine Jew
eler e( the Pacific
Northwest, keeps a
large biock oi &u
SECRET BOCIETY
BADuRa on band.
Best eoods at low
est figures. Badges
maae to oraer.
Scrofula, Rheumatism,
Salt Rheum, Neuralgia
And All Other Blood aad Skin Diseases.
It Is a positive cure for all those nainfnl. deli
cate complaints and complicated troubles and
weakneeeti common among our wires, mothers
and daugnters.
Tne effect ib immediate and lastlnsr. Two or
three doses of Db. Pardee's Rbmkdy taken daily
seeps ine oiooa cooi, tne liver ana smneys act
ive, and will entirely eradicate from the system
all traces of Scrofula, Salt Rheum, or any other
form of blood disease.
no medicine ever introduced in this coontrv
has met with such ready sale, nor given such
universal satisfaction whenever used as that at
De. fabdkk's remedy.
This remedy has been used In the hosDitals
throughout the old world for the past twenty-
and it has and will cure when all other so-oalled'
remedies lau.
Send for Damnhlet of testimonials from those
who have been cured by Its use. Druggists sell
it at $1.00 per bottle. Try it and be convinced.
For sal by
MACK & CO.,
0 and II Front St., San Franolico.
EOCENE.
Ia a Special brand of Burning Oil, which we
manm&ciure expreanjy ior r ajsiiji aa.
IT IS A PtCRf BCT ILLUMINATOR.
IT I". HII1H KTKK TKHT.
IT ItS OP UNIKOKM QUALITY.
We guarantee it to be the highest rossiBUt
QBADB OF ILLUHIMATlNu Oil AB lOr IV-
STANDARD OIL COMPANY.
MASQUERADES, PARADES,
If I A .itTlil H THEATKICAM).
Evervthlnsr in the above line. Costumes, Wigs,
BeardB, Propertie, Opera and Play Books, etc.,
famished at greatly reduced rates and in supe
rior qualitv bv the oldest, largest, beat renowned
alia mereiore uniy tvuwjw; i urmrwu auyyty
Hwc on tlu: laciflc Coant. Correspondence so
licitMl. am.iMTKiit & Co.. 26. 28 and 30 U'Parrell
street, also Market street, Ban Francisco. We
supply all Thmieri on the Coast, to whom we re
spectfully refer.
Sets
G0ot&.ftDd
SLUOuer Bottle?
Oneoeatadooe.
Tmt Grkat CopqhCukb promptly mret
wnei-6 au otners tau, vougna, .roup. bi
Tbroai, Hoarseness, wnoopinf tougu idu
Aathma. For Cooaumptico it bat no rival;
has cured thousands, and will CURB too u
taken in time. Bold by Urugfriata on a guar
antee, ror a iame nac or tuwu
SHILOH'8 BELLADONNA PLA8TER JS50.
H I L 0 H'SVCATA R R H
igREMEDY.
wiVni lutjirriiV Thia mmndvifliruaranai
teed to cure you. FriccGUot. injector free
CHIL
Have you
CRD PIHCi.DUIl Untie? Lands and Invest-
run uoLirunnin numLo. meats, aed for
CIHJUli & BAKKft'M Real KsiaU) I Dvpstmeat
Circular, Ire-. 1004 uboauway, uaitiaim, v,tu
IE
TORS on .Installments. Best makes.
lwest itnrCB. Bend lor catalogue.
ENGRAVING!!
WW
FRIKTKKS SHOULD
and bcm moto-ei
lnirm-n 111 Kan
Cisco wus established
jn 1S77 by lhi Mummer
i,l iIih DKWEY. KK-
(iliAVlNU CO., wlio
Imisvcured the latest
end UiBt improve
ini'ii u.si'crPlprDcessea
uml a lull complement
of the most approved
machinery, pholo up-
piirniUH-powenmpn'c-
Ibis
"August
Flower"
I have been troubled with dyspep
sia, but after a fair trial of August
Flower, am freed from the vexatious
trouble J. B. Young, Daughters
College, Harrodsburg, Ky. I had
headache one year steady. One bottle
of August Flower cured me. It was
positively worth one hundred dollars
tome J. W. Smith, P.M. and Gen.
Merchant, Townsend, Ont I have
used it myself for constipation and
dyspepsia and it cured me, It is the
best seller I ever handledC. Ruga,
Druggist, Mechauicsburg, Pa. ,
a rn.BS known br
BjlajDiafd'or fBO-riiUUiNQ xikxi
T1KLD AT 0!rK TO
OR. BO-SAN-KO'S PILE REMEDY,
which acta dirwtlf oa part afftMtad.
BkhtHirtaB tumors. aUara itwhjQi.eflreotttit
Ml .n.MiMntinim. Frio bba. TJmUTsttsita
have
"n" when wn
rou
GOT
nlAnan. ft tlima ftUt IhS hilttll'St ClaSS of WOfl
priceH lor all klnda of engruving. Publishers lielpi
Eijgeiup apwittl issui'8. Jot) printers and otnra
A.T..UitWiiV.Muiiirl2ajMi.rkelfcit., H. F., iJfli.
FRAZER AXLE
GREASE
Best in the World!
Get the Genuine!
I B IMS WOOLSST, Aleut, r ortlmd, Or,
N. P. N. U. No. 615-8. F. N. TJ. No. I
A SPECIFIC FOE-
Hercules Gas Enoirj
(GAB OB GASOLINE)
Mad tor Power or Pumping Purposes
T&e Cheapest Reliable Ons StUfiam
oa ibe Markets :
Out or Enami smo
Pwsf.
Par HlmpHcltr it Beats this World.
it oils Itself from a Reservoir,
Wo Carburetor to get out of ordae.
No Batteries or Bleotrle 8 park
It runs wltli a Cheaper Oriufo of Gasoline (haa MT
ower Juitfiue,
KND YOU CATAUWITB TO
PALMER & REY, ManufactuRIM.
4Dtj Sawomi Stmt, San francia,W. ;
PORTLAND. OBIOOM.
RL00D POISON
ASPECIAtTY.ETSfflS
Bypbills pcrtrjRnently cured In 16 to86lBys. Voa
can be treuUKl at borne fur the same price aud tho
same Buaranteeai with thoae who prefer to onto
hore we wlUoontract toenre them or refund money
and pnf expense of coming, railroad faro and hotel
bills, live mil to cure.,ir y
roa have taken
pains, M ucoiFatcheatn month, More Throat
t.'oiurea npou, aj icvrsuii an
Hair Or Fyebruwa Itklllm
ury, Iodide potaahnndriUIt have aches and
Dm no. mucouaruicnestiiiiiuuuiii.iitiFso a. unnh
IlBipleaiCoppr'olored Hpota, U Icersnn any
Dart of the body. Hair or Fyebruwa ftklllnr
out. It Is this Syphilitic MMH1 lOIH4N
IDUW9 punuicawiiurei no buiicid ua urn
obstinate eases and challenge the world for
n coae weeunnotcare ThladlseaflehuaaJwaya
baffled the skill of the moat eminent phyal
claoa SOOO,00 capital tHthtnd our onoondl
tional guarantee, AbaolaleproonisentBeakMloa
application. Address tXMlK. KKMEllV
to lMl Maaoalc Temple CUcaioIU
MRS. WINSLOW'S nWu'P
FOR CHILDREN TEETHING -far
aale by all ttnifliU. H6 OeaU a tattle.
"A FAIR FACE MAY PROVE A FOUL BAR
GAIN." MARRY A PLAIN GIRL IF SHE USES
SAPOLIO
RHEUMATISM CURED BY THE USE OF
Moore's Revealed Remedy.
A prow A, OiuwoK. Januarr lfl. I can state with rWan thai: hvth m
MOOKK'B KKVKALHU KEMBDY my husbaad wm relioyed from au old case at
EHKUMATWM and my youngest boy cured entirely of INKLAM M ATOli Y fiHKl
MAT1BM when the best doctor I oould get did Aim no good. Yours In gratUi1
mam, a, v, VfKKLM-'
tato England.
tOLO ST TOW DRVtMIIST.
u.