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About The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 18, 1893)
UNCLE SETH'6 -ADVICE TO POETS. Tlw port what writ about nymps an them An flriiuls nn fjoddoMWH hain't not no sense All ay 1 fa an annuls what fly round 'tin wlntfs 'Itliout ever o-alobpUi to Ui-lii on Uio fenae Tliny liaiii'l ot no Idue Of what po'try tth'il bo. An thoy don't Utcli a fulior like yon an like ma. For thuy talk about goria the old Greeks uater liliH, An itndilewM'H nobody tVUevna In no more; in a kin of a ulatuilcal tinir-a-1 inn-fine, .Tlwymy tliu name tliititfa wo hava all bnarn afore In n lantfwldttw nn trran 1'Uat we oun't underatan. An too stylish an swull for a wnrkwiay man. Wy. Iili-mi ye. i hero's n'try In flower an bird An Ciiiirtln an Uiv an younn liablas enmurh I'bnt don't Uev to licv Innn wudomy words To itmkf n mini yuii, '"I'titil's the etui, that's UlCBUlU"," Vcs, Dint's Jost ttie stuff Of which any ole duff Like you and like mo cant fill up with enough. Jest fli U yur wings eo us plain folk ran hoar. An irmkf 'urn somo m-tiae for me an my wife; Make 'inn Jingle Mi bu11u '1th everyday cluwr; Wet Vm down 'Uu tlio jooso of tliti wlueiiruss of lift! r utcli 'em tin from your heart, Wliiiro all HontlH nrter start. Let your hwoaua cuan climb Into ourrartt hum W . f 'tm in unkoe lilnde. FEMININE GUEGT3 AT HOTELS. flouvnnlr ftpoona. "Some people ore born with mlvor spoonB in their mouths." If it utouly a plain, evorvdny sort of silver Kpooo, it doesn't count in these fin de tnecle days. It must t a souvenir Kpoon, and no common one at tliut. or on a hud better not have been bom. Tliu is indeed h time, if not an age, of lux ury, and even the jworoHt people are not contented with the plain usages and appointment of the tiast half i ctuitury. It is an at?e of constant i chaiu?CH. where uothuig louts, and in which anything; that is before the public more than a year is considered a matter of uncient history. The wonder is that with men on existing state of things a fad like that of collecting souvenir spoons should hove luated more than one season, and yet the interesting fart Tcnuiins that the fancy or fad or whatever you choose to call it of souvenir spoons is just us eagerly fol lowed now as it was five years ago, when first introduced. Once a Week. Trailing In Patagonia. It is a lucky thing for the natives of southern Patagonia that the navi gation of the Straits of Magellan is dauireroua. Vessels often anchor in the straits for the night on this ac count, and this gives jiie crooked legged natives a ehanee to come out in their canoes and trade with the ship's company. The chief articles offered by the natives are furs of va rious kinds, especially of the Bea ot ter. These thoy sell fur a trifle, or more often barter for the few things thoy need. The best otter skiuB are worth as much as $(iuu to f7()u when brought to civilized markets, but Patiigoiiians offer only poor skins. New York bun. Couldn't Help Winning. Papa Well, what did you think of the great skating race? Little Son Didn't amount to much. "Everybody said it was wonder ful." "1 didn't see iiothin wonderful liout it. The one that winned couldn't help winnin. He leaned over so far forward that he had to go like a streak o' lightnin to keep from falliu on his nose." Good News. Tin Dnuoon'a Thoughts. Guod Boy Here is that penny you gave uie to put on the contribution plate. 1 made a mistake an put in 4k button instead. Father Hum I What did Deacon Sharp say when he saw ltv Wood Boy He didn't notice it. ! guess the church is out of kindling wood, because I heard him mutter something about getting more chips from the ole block. Good News. Thlr Tronhlitanmo (liprlee anil Ululeillr alile Thing. They Don't Do. A woman at a hotel is like a live tare on a frolic or a runaway him.s at a funeral. She can give and coun termand more orders in 15 minutes after her trunks come up than a man could think of in a week, blie writes half a dozen letters a day, using three or four sheets of the hotel iiaier jii onrli one. and calls up a bell my to mail each one separately. She piita all sorts of things in the safe, and no one minds that so much as the things she doesn't put there, but is perfectly sure she did. Of course she fiuds them up stairs under the pilldw and apologr,es so prettily one can t help but be glad she made the mistake She never makes out a wash list, but she 'knows exartly what she had. undone iair husnt been returned. Nhe keois the ponderous liell boy promenading up null down stairs all day with rows and cards, parcels and messages and never remembers to rip him, but it is good for his di gestion. makes him earn his wages and teaches him the philosophy of life bhe twnds down word to know jiiMt when the f o clock tram goes out and what tinv the 7 oclock hm ited gets in. but she doesn't come home reeling in alter the play to find out who she is or where she is at any way. She will tack up photo graphs on the wall, but she doesn t go to tied with her boots on. She expects the chamticrmaid to clean her gowns and pack her trunks, but she doesn t set the sheeta on hre smoking in lied or break the mirrors with her umlirella and play football with the furniture, even in her fun niest moods She wants no end of extra toweui. but she doesu t polish her boots with them. Of course she doesn t eat as much or drink as much or spend as much money as a man. but she can make things more lively with her (amis and callers, the people she w "in to and the people she is "out" to. than a house full of men. She wautH to live all over the house, and why nutt A pretty woman read ing in parlor, or waiting on a hall seat or scribbling letters lnherqueer angular bund at the writing table is ever so much more interesting an attraction than a barrel of "brum break.' a potttxl palm or a jardiniere lull of flowers. Ever since the days ot the garden eviction men have fol lowed where womeu have led. and the hotel where women most do con gregate is sure to have a generous following of men. Indeed it is u uiiwitiiin if a pretty woman that will sit around in a stained glass attitude1 and a handsome gown ought not to hare siecial rateB if she lun t paid a salary. There is one tiling a woman will do every time and that is insist that there is something wrong about her bill. She "knows" just what she has hail and is sure there is a mistake, and you have charged her too much : but, bless her heart, she always pays. Sunshine isn't purer in June than a woman's honesty. She uever is so "(load broke at the end of the trip that she has to pawu her things or give secunty on her trunks. And it you do succeed in pleasing her she will tell every one lrom here to the Golden Gate that your hotel is the only decent place in town. A drum mer working on commission and giv ing his whole tune to it can t work up half the custom that one well suiied woman will send you if you humor her little caprices, serve her dainty little dishes of uotning Bwoet euod and tied up with bows and tix up her bill so that you can afford to discount it a bit when she leaves. - New York Suu. A Cot That 1'iit Out n Hre. Some of our friends have a cat which they esteem very highly. On a cold winter day Mr. and Mrs. B. (vent to church, some five miles HOW V OUOW Oi l). The thread that binds un to life li most fre quently hovered ere the meridian ol Hie Is reached In the case of per&oii who nejjlent ob vioua means to lencw failing strength. Vigor, no lean the onrce ot napptnesa than uie conni nu-iiv rml left the house in the nos- Hon o( long llfe.oan bo created antliirpolnaled J .... , , 1 where It doea not exist i IioushihI who session ot the eat, torn, wno upon their return homo rushed out and buried his paws in the cold 'snow. Wanting to find out the meaning of this behavior on Tom's part, thoy examined his paws and found them blistered and burned. ' They walked into the house and found to their surprise that the cnret around the rrate was burned, but the fire had boon extinguished. They now took in the situation. A coal had fallen out of the grate and set the carpet ablazo, which had been extinguished by Tom, who hail burned hispawsin the effort he made. Cor. Now York Recorder. A Lamli'M Hide nn it Onrveateher. A rathersingular incident occurred on the Savannah. Florida and West ern railway the other day. It was about 40 miles from Waycross on a through tram to Chattahoochee. On the track just in front of the train theengineor, Mr. DuBose. saw asheep with a young lamb. It was too Into to stop the engine, and the train passed on. leaving mutton in its wake. Arrived at Waycross, the en gineer descended from his engine bl1! saw the lamb alive and unhurt on tno cowcatcher. It had been car ried 40 miles without a scratch. Brunswick (Gu.) Times. lib have experienced or arc cognizant Including many, physicians of imminence ot the cfteels of Hos teller's Stomach .Hitters liear testimony to its w ondrous elflcacy as a creator of strength In feeble constitutions anil debilitated and shat tered systems. A steady penormanre of the bodily functions, r. newed aneetlte. nosh and nightly repute at. end tho use of this thorough and standard rcnovant. Uso no 1 eal tonic rep resented to be akin to or roaemblell In finecta in lis place. Demand the genuine, which Is an acknowledged remedy for ludU'Osllon, malaria, nervousness, cnnstipiittnn, liver and kidney complaints and rheumatism. Uneasy Paas 'nger (on an ocean steamship) Doesn't the vessel tip frightfully? Digniued Stewar ' I he wessel, mum, is trying to set a good example to the passengers. 100 llKWAltl), S100. ni learn that there Is at leant one dreaded disease that science has been able to cure In all Its stagee, and thut'is catarrh . Hall's Catarrh Cure la the on v positive euro now known to the med ical fraternity. Caturrh, being a constitutional uiKCaae, requires a constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh ure is laken Internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the foundation ol the disease and giving the patient strength by building up the constitution and assisting nature in doing luwork. The proprietors have so much faith In itacuiativepewers that they tier one Hundred uollars lor any case mat u fails to cure. Send for list o; testimonials. Ad dress P. J. OHKNKY & CO., Toledo, O. Sold by Druggists; 76 cent. 53 PRINTERS 8- -AND- PUBMSjlEES -WILL FIND A FUU, LINK OF- TYPE, Presses, THE MJKSK'9 I) K LIGHT. Every experienced nume knows the value of a remedy which, wtthout being an ano dyne, will relieve noreneas of the limbs or stiffneBtt of the joints and enable a patient to sleep quietly and naturally. Jwt such a remedy are Ali dock's Por ods Pla'-tpr'i. Placed on the client or on the hack, if necesarycut to to strips and placed over the inihcles f the limhB, thf-y work marvels in the vav of BOotliinR and quieting reBlleHsnej-s. B-ing perfectly sim ide and harmless in their composition. ihevcan he med freelv, and many a suf ferer hs thanked Ihem fnraniKhtofquiet rent, irraieni uolu to him ana tnose wno en"1 for him. IittANDKKTH'8 Pills do not weaken the bow el i. Unmixed rviU rnwlyorifiur. The fact that money hug ten tight wild 10 have resulted 111 a gooa aoi 01 wjrter uiuugut. Life Was a Burden Becaure of tbe intct-.ae puma In icy utomach aud aide, and alsoon account olt.a Intones. Aitcreat linr I would bo in great distrosB. My father had me give llood'a SarMpa-rLlaat-iid. There was an improvement atonco and J huts contiouud tuLfnK it. until 1 am 11 (iw well 1 have rtiued ia flesh and ce-'i eat heartily witnout diS- cem. I now enjoy life V fStisSwi 2 andlowe ItnntoHoud'i J t,. ' i i.f NH'jTcCaicQorli, H. Y. Cet HOOD'S Hood's rills ualst digestion and cure neauue.ie. sola nyauarngjists. tx. Salti, a. Sardinian city, has no po lice, no clergymen, no doctor, no . chapel. Marriages are ratified by a priest or registrar at a parish many miloB distaut, to which brides and bridegrooms travel in batches to have the necessary ceremonial conducted. The minute green bodies found on tho fresh water polyp have been shown to be vegetable cells which furnish sugar for the animal, while the latter in turn provides them with nourishment. The house of commons has met on Sunday 11 times, on various occa! sions when urgency demanded it. The first time was in the reign of Ed ward III, the last at the death of George II. . Mrs. Homespun, who has a terri ble time every morning to get her young brood out of their beds, says she cannot understand why children are colled the rising generation. Be not affronted at a jest. If ous throw aver so much salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm unless thou art raw and ulcerous. -Junius. A Kualuaaa Vairubond, A vory dirty aud bedraggled speci men of a train p strolled into a gro cery store in Park street the other morning, and the first man he met was the proprietor. 'Can you gimme a dime? asked tho visitor meekly. '1 can, but I hardly think I shall,' was the cheerful response. "Why in thunder don't you go wash yourself t" '1 cant afford to, whined the tramp. "uiut you, indeed? Water s plen ty, and soap doesn't cost anything." "Don t it queried the tramp. . "No, it dou't.". The tramp edged over toward the door. "Well," he said, with his hand on the latch, "if it don't, I'd like for you to figure out for me what your per ceut of profit is on every bar you selJ to your del uded customers, " and with that he dodged outside and disap peared. Detroit Free Press. Bard to Undaratand. ' Few persons understand the cause of their own failures. Judging other affairs as they do their own, they couldn't tell why a barrel is empty when it has a hole in the bottom. 033 sacra rr '?--wjs l.tmper ZtotUiNri Ouo wut a dose. Tma Grbat Couoh Cuhb ui-ommly citrta Whore all others falL Cougha, Croup. Sore Tbroat, tiotrscDcu, Whooping Louga ana Aithma. For CoDiuropucn it has no mm has cured thouttndi, end will cuius you if taken in time. Bold by Drugiflata on a guar antee, Fur a Lame Back or CtVufc, use bUILOH 9 BBLLAUUNNA 1LAS1 fcK.Zjy. ft H I LO H'S CATAR R H Have you Catarrh fr1 This remedylsfruaran. teed to cure you. Prioe,6i)ota. Injector ire. For sale at lawast prlcei and most advantageous terms at Palmer & ReyType Foundry, ..Cor. Front and Alder Streets, PORTLAND, OR. Write for nrlcea and terms before bovine else where UseKnamellnebtove Polish: noduit.no smell. Trt Gbrmka for breakfast. LET IT BUN, and yonr cough may end in something seri ous. 1C s prei-iy suro u, u your uhhki is pour. That is lust the time and condition that in vites UHisumpnon. i no seeus are sown ana it has fastened its hold upon you, before you know that it is near. It wont do to trifle and delay, when the remedy is at hand. Every disorder that can tin rae.hed through the blood violas to Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. For Severe Coughs, Bronchial, Throat and Lung Diseases. Asthma. Scrofula in every form. and even the Scrofulous affection of tbe lungs that's called Consumption, in all its earlier stages, it is a poaitivo and complete cure. It is the cnlv blood-cleanser, streneth re storer, and flesh-builder so effective that it can be guaranteed. If it doesn't benefit or cure, in every cam, you have your money Dae. Ail medicine dealers nave a. Hercules Gas Engine Made for Power or Pumping PurpoMa, Tfa Cheap RallaM. Oaa KnftM ou Hut AUrJUL P " Out Of EMM! AM Fj Pun ill PRIK II IIIIIIL.IIU ROLLERS. Vor Simplicity It Beat! the "World It oils ltsel f from a Beserroir, If o Carburetor to ffot out of orda Ko Batteries or Bleotrlo Bprk II ran with a Cheaper Orade of Gasoline tbaa aay ttUier Engine. KKD Volt CATALOam TO PALMER & REY, ManufactuwEM 411 Uiuoni Stmt. Ui mm bL -ANH-fOKTLAND, ORKGON. RLOOD POISON THIS 18 THE TIME TO order your SUMMKB ItOI.I.EHB. You waul the BK8T ; that's the only kind we deal in. Then eend vour order lor the BKHf KOI.LKRS and INKS to l'Al.MKK & RKY TYI'E F'DKY. rOBTUKD, OR. A SPFriSITYf'1-' n wa B-iwi-ia arr or 1 uruarT Brphlils permaneiitlr cured in 15 to85daya. You canbetreuwdatbonoforthe snme price and ths eamo gTiarunleeij with those wlio prefer to como and pny expense of coming, railroad fare and hotel D1UB,1IWB liiu w ture. iijuu uuvw mttu wn- ury, loaiue poiukd biiubiul unvo ui;m:o huh ntns. Mucoua Vatcliftiiln mouth, NnreTbront Implead tart of to ... it U thin MvnliUHlfl Wlftl wo ruurnniveMvuivi stinviu wd iuu obitlnnte caiei and challenge the world for n ftewecunnotor 'itiladiseuseliiisalways baffled the eklll oftSo mont eminent phytl claas. K.'iOO.OOtir oapital behind Otir uncondi tional (TQaraatee. Abaolutepronfasentspaledoa application. Address CWlli. KKMKIkV J., THE ARIZONA KICKKR. Conyrlhted WS. Fubll-hed evi'rv Wednesday. fiO cents (or three month-, $2 pur annum. Ham pie copies, 10 ceii is. Ada resaAm bona jiiuKEK, lomifstoui,, Arizona. 'August Flower" " I am Post Master here and keep a Store. I have kept August Flower for sale for some time. I think it is a splendid medicine." E. A. Bond, P. M., Pavilion Centre, N.Y. The stomach is the reservoir. If it fails, everything fails. The liver, the kidneys, the lungs, the heart, the head, the blood, the nerves all go wrong. If you feel wrong, look to the stomach first. Put that right at once, by using August Flower, It assures a good appetite and a good digestion. a CoaeuaipUveia and people who have weal mnitsor Aata- roa,ahoulduaa Plio'sCurelor I Consumption, it haa i tlmouuidk it haa not Injur-1 edone. in. uau w ia HI. the bontoouffhiTrnp, Sold everywhere. & SOCIETY BADGES A. FEI.DKNHHIM' Elt. Uadinr JeW' eier ef the Pacific Northwest, keeps e larRe stock of all BKORKT BOCIBTV BAIK.KP on band. Best ffoods at low est figures. Badges maue u oruer. FRAZER AXLE Best in the World! H D T A 0 T Get tha 6ei.iiie!llKr ANh SnldFrnvwheralUIILIlUI. fhaNK wwiijBKif, AKent. roruana.ur. U A lIT tTCHINO PILES known by noUtnfS YOU nnr " bMrbetumor,alli-yaitliJi)a',effe)tlug nil r"rt permai)fMitour8. PhooftOO. DniKaisU rILCQ eiio i-r.wnko,rblliivlelplila,a Ate DtwrBpirtiqji,ouM UiWuao iuiljiu When warm. Tins furin ana XfX.iau, 3ji,kkuim ij or riwjxj-iu ym:ld atonchto i.n nn cm VA'C D1I C DCUCIlV Vn. DU-QMiw-fVW riu. nwriLUi. wbictt aota directly on parts affected. d still bave acbes and nplef,Copi-r-'olored Npoli.U Icerson any b of tbo DOdv, Kulr or J.yebrow fiilllnpr It Is this feypliimie m.o ronton? DR. GUWS ONION SYRUP F0R COUGHS, COLDS AUD CROUP. GRANDMOTHER'S ADVICE. ' Inralsin'tRf-imilvot nine children, my only ram Will oil Is nlr-mdy prepared and more pi hub ant to t&O Uate. Sold everywhere, Larga bottles 60 oanta. 1'aJto no substitute for xU Tbcrj'a cotblng aa cow Brooklyn Hotel 208-212 Bush St., San Francisco. Thin favorite hotel 1b under the management of CHAKLK8 MONTGOMERY, and Is as good il not the beat Family and Business Men's Hotel In San Francisco. Home Comforts! Cuisine Unexcelled I First-dans Herviee and the highest standard of reaped ability guaranteed. Our row cannot 6 nurpamd for vtatiust and comfort. Board and room ier day, 1.M, $1.76 and 2.00; board and ruoni per week, 7 to U siugle rooms, 60o . to $1. Free coach to and from hotel. MRS. WINSLOW'S SWQ - FOR CHILDREN TEETHING For uie bj all llrumUU. 145 Cvnto a bottl. "A FAIR FACE MAY PROVE A FOUL BAR CAIN." MARRY A PLAIN CIRL1FSHE USES SAPOLIO RHEUMATISM CURED BY THE USE OF IVIoore's Revealed Remedy. AfrroRti. Orbooh. Januarr 10. 1 aan aute with DlaaMiira thai hvtha iua of MOOKK BKKVKAUCU KSMEDY m; hutbaud vraa relieved tr.ni) aioldi9e t4 KHKI)MATUMandmr;ouni!(itbiiyeurdiuUral;ollNi'LAMllA'rOK: KiUU MATltiM when toe heat oootor 1 iwuld get did hita no good. Your. in. itivLUnd. , l MK8. M. V, SI IlltlJt- rtD ST IODB OBDOOIDT. A ,