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About The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898 | View Entire Issue (July 31, 1891)
WORK AND STUDY. BUMBLETHORPE AND BULL A Snjwitlon to Mechanic and Other l,lKirr Edumtti Yonnwlf. What portion of the great army of work men in till country ever consider this stib jtict, or iii-u wjJJiiiK t-n Hflnilt Unit, they liuve time for both. They argue Unit llro in too short, nd tLie prosiwots of tut vantage too few, to make it eithoi- desirable or necessary to devote their spare time to study mid kin dml Improvements of the mhid. Very few ever find any time to rend, even, except pow tltity enough to keep posted on the mm its of bull Rumes, prize tights and the miscellaneous sensations of the day; although upon those important subjects one will find tint vwy few who are not Mioroiitfhly posted, and can ex plain every detail very minutely. Auk the it verity imwlmnie or other laborer to mihswitm to a trade paper, tlio benefits of which you hnvecarufully explained, and the Invariable answer will tie; ''I Hhouldn't read it if I luid It; I don't' get any time to read, and won't afford It anyway; besides, the fellows that writu tho e article are too bigh toned for mo, and 1 can't uudorstund whut they any." Tlilti Ih one of the luinest argu ment possible to think of, and In one of the butt re jHOtm why tliy should reud and study, that they may he ahio to unde slniid and profit by wlmt these high toned writers any. Such argument not only show their igno rance, but their willful dlm-epard of their own usefulness and education There in no better educator than the traile Cper, for ft keeps ono pouted on wliat it ing done in the world of science, and we think that many til these dhmiterosted men, if they wi ttld Hjwnd a suiuii rraution of the time they devote to mailing tras'a iu looking over a good trade aper, they would find itome tiling that ivouii Interest and instruct them, ami al o wiunve the prejudioe against the wmtributors, The average working day Ik ten hour. Now it 1m safe to Buy that eight hours' sleep in enough for any biialtby man, njid thin leaves nil bourn out of every itiy that may lm divided up botwueu study and recreation, for we would not auk or expect a man to devote all of bin life to the former. Now the atitiml facts in the ease are that nine out of every teu of these won do not Bleep even eight hours, neither do they study oneHnigbth part of that time; and still they have not time enough to reud a good, sensl ble urick thut wilt itliow them bow to make the labor they porform, audakmit which they are pretty mire to grumble, muea easier aud more profitably accomplished. Now let un look at another Hide of this question for a moment, and hoo what some of the effect of a little time devoted to reading and study are. Take, ior Instance, the great inventor and prosiwrous manufacturers, many of whom have risen from common laborers. They have invariably been the most careful reader!, even ''burning the midnight oil" in their punmit of informa tion, not of tho standing of the League nine, or of the lutest scandal, but of tliat which woe to lie the work of their liven. Think you that they found such time uninteresting or unprofitable, or that tuey ever Iwgrudged the little they Bmjit of their hurd earned wages in the purchnse of books and papers? A, B, Itrimu in liosfcoii Iludget. A Farmtr ftueffeHt lu an to How Things Might Have Been Cliana;tHl. Gen. Bumblethorpe is certainly a big man big in stature and bigger still in hi own con ceit, brimming over as ho constantly la, with his own importance. Oen. Bumblethorpe was never in the army ; he never wan even In the militia. But he wan surveyor general once, a good while ago, and has of course worn the title of general ever shoe, and has always 'Insisted upon it. He has been a shade "more overbearing since he became a general in this wny, though he was sufficiently overbearing before that. Ono due afternoon last summer Gen. Bum b'elborpc was taking a walk through the out skirts of the country town whiob he hod hon ored by choosing It as hin place of summer sojourn. In the course of hin wanderings lie came upon a pair of bars leading Into a granny and inviting moadow, The bars he let down and walked into the meadow. He had but half crowed the meadow when be saw, to his horror, a great black and white j Holsteln bull emerge from the dark shade of I an apple tree and advance towurd bfm. i Gen. Humblethorte is not an active man, but the steady advance of this enormous animal stimulated him for the moment to great ac tivity. And his own rapid flight also served to stimulate the bull, who lowered his bead mud chnrged funoutily, bellowing the while, j It wan a mud chase, but Gen. Bumblethorpe j had some good rods of advantage in tbs start , and the opHslt fence of the Hold was not far away. The general rati wildly and succeeded in turning a somersault over the fence just in time to escajte cite lufuriated anlmaL And then it was lion, Bumblethorpe who was Infuriated. From ttie safe side of the fence he wtornitnl and r&god at the bull, and, seeing a farm bouse not far away, he stalked over to it The farmer wan cliortng around the barn when the general rushed up to him. "Is that your bull over there, sir?" ex claimed Gen. bumblethorpe, "Wal, 1 guess 'tis," said the farmer. 'Do you know what it's been doing P "Chasm ye, mebbe." "Yes, sir, chasing me; and it Is an outrage I will not tolerate an outrage, I tell you, that I should be pursued and humiliated In this way I" "Wal," says the farmer, "it's a thing that bulls will do; be euu't help tt, ye know." "Help Ul" said the general, black with in dignation; "do you know who I aiiif "No, I don't." "Well, sir, J am Gen, Bumblethorpe.1 "Ik tlitt t so?" said the farmer with great deliberation. "Is that sof" Why in thun der didn't you tell the bull, gen'ral?" Boston Transcript? . Met Only In 8elfity. Mine. Chaperon Is Mr. a professional man? Miss Prue I dont know. Mine. Chaperon Is he a man of brains! Miss Prue 1 dont know that, either. Mme. Chaperon Why, aren't you ac quainted wilh hirnf Miss Prue Yos, but Pve met bun only in society. Boston Post, A Vowly Hut ebed O-trb lu The ostrich eggs aw huge affairs, as large around an n quurt meunuru. They lay out In the open fiVid, and junt as 2 was hanging over the fence, wickedly waving my jacket to make the mujtMtic ostrich jiurl'orm an un dignified piruu tie, one of the e;;gs broke open, and out popped a little ostrich. Im mediately there wns a great commotion, and everybody rushed breathlessly in our direc tion. The keeer wus told the news, and come hurrying on with ejaculations of sur prise. He vaulted tho two fences at tho farthest dint mice from the mother ostrich and made iu the direction of the uewuomer; but when the mother bird took long strides in bis direction, nnd manifested a lively curiosity as to bis purpose, the keeper vuulted uguiu over the nuurost fence uud dis ftplMMtml from the scene, It wus (pute comical to soo tho old bird with her new bom offspring. At first site di fhu ned to notice tho tittle thing, which Jooked about the size of a Q-mouths-old chickun, unci sought to follow the pureutal guidance by running a few steps and then tjuito uiwxjwuledly toppling over, or tinning a feeble wimei'mmlt. I bud quite htttoful feelings until list the mother bird, who by tins time ntood pruiiciug before us with hor long, beautiful droopv pluuies. I think she saw by our expressions tlmt we did not approve of siicli Kpurtttu motherhood, such uuuuUii-ul calming of Lite1 emotions, fur she immediately turuud up her heel and bestowed ft motherly kiss upon her solitary scion. There was a thrill of HutiRlucttoti along the whole Hue of spectators when she llnallysut herself down upon her nest and drew the ugiy duckling under the shelter of bwr rarely pluwagod wni-g, Lofl Aligelus Cor. New Urleaus Times-Democrat. ReiiiHi'kiLble Memory. X received a visit from un old school follow, who hud come to see the exhibition; they hud not met for the lost flf teeti years. "Is that you?" ; ' . . "My very own self." A hearty grip of the baud and a long chat about old times. "By the by," said the visitor, "do you re member the ,duy wo lust met I lent you ten francs!" X looked at him in blank astonishment. Then, after due rollectlon, be asked him to wait, A few moments after he cuine buck with a ten franc piece and a book, both of which ho handed to his friend. "But I didn't lend you the book." "I know, but it Is a memory prise which I got at schoolf and you are more eutitlod to it than I am I" Le Figaro. Painter or political Portraits. . Sign painters graduated to portrait work turnout from tivo to seven portraits In twelve hours, but the rapid and careless way In which they uro done Is Illustrated on many of the banuore now strung. Two or three men often combine In painting political portraits. One will do the draw ing of the head and the rough lines of the face. Buob Is known as the '"likeness" artist, and It is he who Is oxpocted to cntoh the expression. One or more men till in the coloring and details of dress. In this manner the work cau be done quickly and to a certain extent correctly, providing, of course, that tbose ongaROd Lave bad uny traiulng In portrait paint ing. Brooklyn tttiglt). A SurnrMte. The Young Man (an he wipes the perspira tion from bis browj This asking the parents' ooiiHeut is a trying ordeal. If Arabella wasnt such a prise, and 1 didn't love her so dearly, I would never have the courage to attempt it Know PWinres to s t Yellowly That's a fine picture you have got there, Brownly. Brown iy Weil, I flatter myself that It is, you know. Y. Is it one of the old masters, do you think! B. Well, I si n't exactly snre, but I am go ing to have the opinion of a friend today on thematitfi'. Y. Indeed 1 A connoisseur! B. Why, I should say sol Pshaw, man, he1 been in the tea business for twenty years and knows everything aliout pictures Bos ton Courier, 0 Arabella's Father Want to marry Ara bella? Yes, young nmn, yes, take her, and may the Lord have mercy on you. Sit down and I'll write you out a check for $5,000 to start housekeeping on. Life. How He 1'Hld the Lawyer. "Mv first case in San Francisco," said At torney James K. Wilder, to a reporter, "was the defense of a young fellow charged with stealing a watch belonging to a Catholic priest. I was appointed by tbe court, be cause the prisoner suid he had no money. "The jury reudered a verdict of not guilty, and as the dofemluufc was leaving tbe court room I called him back, and just as a joku hundud him my card and told him to bring me around the first $50 he got, , "Next day he walked into my office and planked down two ftius and a $10. "'Where did you get all that money f I demanded, as soon as 1 got over my surprise euough to speak. ' K " 'Sold the priest's watch,' he replied, as he bowed himself out." Bau Franoisoo Exam iner, .ir Identified. A couple of friends were returning boms on a dark night when they were attacked by a band of rurtluns A general melee ensued At last they managed to escape from their assailants. When comparing .notes after ward, one of tlieui said: "I managed to get one little stiff fellow down; 1 nearly strangled him and in the scuttle his scurf oaine oil In my hands." "Let me Beef' said the other friend, put ting bis hand to bis nook, "why, it'B iniuel" LeBoir,., " ' A Hitter Itavetige. ". Mrs. Soia per - Well, if that is the kind of a niau ho .is and you disliked him before you were married 1 ouu't see why you got wedded to him. Mrs, Temper I did It to spite him, I hated him so. Miu Sempar-Qulte a revenge, I eoe.- li'Vpiitg Up AiiimiMet A "robbers' roost" has been unearthed at Chicago. It was fitted up with under ground passages in various directions to facilitate the escape of the roblwrs in case of a police raid. The neighbors had been so terrorized by the gang that no one dared to inform the police of the doings in the vicinity. There is more virtue in one IIkamdbkth Pill than in a bottle of the best Sarsapa nlla. Tbe solid extract of Harsaparllla con tained in Brandbicth's Pills, in combina tion with other Vegetable Extracts, makes them the strongest blood purifier known. One or two at night for a week will remove ull pimples and eruptions of the skin and inn Ice tlii! complexion fuir as an infant's. Hkandhktii's Pi li j are purely vegetable, absolutely burmlest, mid safe to take at anytime. Hold in every drug and medicine store, either plain or sugur-coated. Tiie Maidwi Claude, dear, hold th' nm berelly more over me or else th' people'll think we're married. Life. Poor Vine for Stamp. An amusing incident occurred In the post office recently, Stamp Clerk Leracke had just sold a natty old gentleman a dollar's worth of "3s." The old man was wondering where to put them, when be accidentally put his damp Angel's on the sticky side of tbe tamps, and they begatr to stick together. "Bay, how do you keep these things from Sticking?' he asked. "Rub them ou your head," the clerk re plied. "Ah, that's a new scheme," raid the pur chaser of the stamps, and be removed his hat and began to rub them over his bald bead. "The longer we live the more we learn," be said, smiling, As be allowed the stamps to re main on bis bead while be paid for them and put some papers back into his coat pocket The stamps stuck. "There, now, that's" be said, as he reached up and tried to remove the stamps. They were sticking closer than a brother to the shiny white scalp. He tore one of them off, and be said it brought the skin. The clerks could not contain themselves, and the bald beaded old gentleman slapped his hat over bis head and hurried off to get a sham poo. Savannah News. The Bookcases Were Too Large. A story Is told of a gentleman who Is now and has been for some yeans past engaged in rearing an elegant mansion of stone a dozen miles or so out of Boston. Much care has been taken and no expense spared iu its erec tion. The other day he went out to see how the work was progressing and visited the library. It is a noble room, aud It nod been surrounded by elegant bookcases of carved oak in elaborate design. Theowuer gave ono glance about the spacious and beautiful apartment and tben exclaimed to tne con tractor: "What made you build the book cases so bight Cut them down two feet and put cupboards underneath! Do you think I am going to buy books ior au luose sueivesr Boston Advertiser. Must Have Died Hurriedly. A small Iowa kid stood in the Capito! grouuds on the east side one morning and held his father's hand. "Papa," be asked, pointing to the hall draped statue of Wawimgton, "wuostuatr "That's Weenie Washington, my boy." . "Bay, pa. Ueorge Washington's dead, ain't her "Yes, my boy, he's dead." . "An' that's him" "Yes, Rupert, that's George Washington." "Bay, pa, be died before he could git bu close off, didn't hef Fred Nye in n ashing- ton Cruio. PunetiiHtorr. "You've been writing poetry to sister,1 Bald Willie. "Yes," admitted the youth, "What kind of a poem was that last one you sent berr "Oh, it was a sort of apostrophe I" "Well, if you'd a seeu the way pa acted when he saw it you'd a thought it was a whole lot of exclamation points." u ashing ton Post, . Aftr Palling Three Times. ' "Been skatfng this year, old mauf "Yes; I weutout the other day for aboul five minutes." , "Why didn't you stay longer?" "I stayed until one of the small boys asked me if I had skated before for a good man; years, aud tlieu I thought it was about tune to give it up." Loweiiuiuseu. Eaay to Please. Tramp Haveot you got something for m todof Farmer No, I guess not; there ht not much work just now. Tramp I don't need much. You would be surprised to see with how little work I could worry along. Texas timings. The pollution of the Ohio river is be ing investigated by the Htate Board of Health. J)r. Probst aavs that his report will be very unfavorable as to the use of Ohio-river water for drinking purposes. An interstate agreement wouii be neces sary to prevent further pollution. VIKTUK I? BKANDKGTH'S PILLS. "Where Ik Unit Muck cloud ffning to?" Atikert the bov of hit KratidniH dear; Ami the oM Indy miti, an he Hhook her heed, "U'h going lo thunder, 1 fear." HI KK CUItR FOR PILES. Ham (! fnr hi hid . MmwI .ns nd ttehlnv Piles. One bpx has cared ths worst cases of ten ycftrs' standing. No one need snffot ten minutes after wing KlrVs German Pile Ointmeut It absorbs tumors, allays the itching, sett as a poultice, Klves relief. Dr. Kirk's German Pile Ointment is prepared only for Piles and itching of the private parts, and nothing else. Every box Is warranted. Sold by Druggists and sent by mall on receipt of price, ILO0 per box. J. J. Hack A Go., Whole sale Agents, Ban Ftanclaco What is lacking: is truth and confidence. If there were absolute truth on the one hand and absolute confidence on the other, it wouldn't be necessary for the makers of Dr. Sage's Catarrh Kemedy to back up a plain statement of fact by a $500 guarantee. Ihev sav " It we cant cure you (make it personal, d ease.) of catarrh in the head. in any form or stage, we'll pay you 8500 ior your trouble in making the trial.1' "An advertising fake," you say. Funny, isn't it, how some people prefer sickness to health when the remedy is positive and the guarantee absolute. Wise men don't put money back of M fakes. And " faking " doesn't pay. Magical little granules those tinv, sugar-coated Pel lets of Dr. Pierce-1-scarcely larger than mustard seeds, vet powerful to cure active yet mild in operation. The best Liver Pill ever invented. Cure sick headache, dizziness, constipation. One a dose. CHANGE or CLIMATK Kill more people than is jajenersily known. Par tlculiirlv is this the nunc In Instances where the constitution is dclirnte, and among our hnml KTxttt pnfuilHtion ficcktiitf new h runes In those portion of the Went, and where mslsrlsl and tyiiholcl fevern nrevHll at certain fmwmn at the your. The best Drewiraiive for a chiume of II- mntCjOrof ditjt mid water which tlmt chunge ne eiiffld tates. Is UfmUHter' Mtomach Bitten, which not only lortiften the system twdnst malaria, a vnrint)letcn!jM'rMtimi, damp, mid the debilitating " etti'ctHof tropics! hent, but Is hIho the leadftifr reinedy for coiiBtlmtlon, dyouepsiii, liver com nliifnt. hoililv troublea sot'i'lallv ant to attack m (grant and visitor to rujfl"ii" near tbe e)im tor, marl nun and toudttts. Whether used us a safeguard bv sen voyagers, travelers by land- iniiitretoroi HKnt'imiiriBiA in newiy popiuateo districts, this fine specific liai elicited the most favorable teatinionv, A ffooso farm him been atnrted fn Mlehieun. It will be managed by a M i eh i guilder. OUTING. The onlv 111 nut ted magazine of Snort. Travel and Keereutiun. Kegolar featurenof OuUpjihtv artirlenon Amateur I'hotogwphy, If'unthig, KJah? tug, tJnnoeing, Bicycling, Athletics, Football, Tennis, Ijierosae, I'rice, 25 oen Is per copy; ftf.OO periitiiium. Bumpie copy, i coiim. inr. uui- . INi CO., Limited, New tork and Ixiudon. Faber's Golden Female Pills. For female Irregular ltlea;ut)thiiff)iltethem on the market. If ever fail. Burcesif ully used by prominent ladies monthly, guaranteed to relieve iiippitsseJ menstcuatlon. SURE! 8AFEI CERTAIN I Don't be humbiimredV Bare Time, Health, and moner; take no oili er. Bent to anr address. secure by mall 011 re eeipt of price, $2.00. Aadrew 1HE IPHRO SEDICIKE CORPtHY, Wertera Branch, Box 27, f UBILAND, OR' flow by Wianoir Mmiw Oo., Porrlnrt o. FRAZER AXLE GREASE BestintheWorld! Get the Genuine! Sold Everywhere! WANTED TheaddreisesofalUoldlerswho cim nicDQ) homctteaded a less nnmber of 5ULUICK9 acres than 160 and made final UntlTQTXinO proof on the same before Jane nUMlUOiLflUO , 1874. W. E. MOSKti, P. O. Box 765, Ueuver, Colo. Mention this paper. rmrwilti riTn'6 DAY8.1 UamntMd not t l iwm straw i Sir Olitheaeknowledieal I leading remedy foralliba QDnamral dlscharfres aad private diseases of men. A certain cure for tbe deblnV tatlng weakness peculiar to women. TnFMrihAttKndrMlnfa iTHEEvussCsEWiftl'Co. In recommending It t KOia nj uronKuwi riuvn 9Svw f AFRAID TO TRUST. We are not afraid iok would not pay, but some body would certaliily neglect or refuse, und we would lose dollars aud dollars; and tben you and othcrx who did pay would have to make It up, or we would be driven out of business. We prefer to" sell for cath at even 2 or .1 per cent, net profit. We have one line of Hhirttng and Apron Glng hama, good width and fair quality, at cents Iteryanl; ou this you save about one-half. We Lave the best line of Domestic Dry Goods in town for family use, and all very cheap, indeed. Bend for our July list, now ready. It will he sent free to all inquirers, Shoes, Dry Goods, No tions, Wearing Apparel, Canned Goods, Dried Fruit, Tinware, Hardware, Crockery, Glassware, l'mvlnlons, Groceries everything you want, quoted Ht lowest cash prices. Consignments received. Address SMITH'S CASH STORE, 416 41 Front St, 8a n Francisco, CaK U4V CCUCD CURED 10 STAY CURED. flAl rklLII We want the name and ad- dress ol every sunerer in me U.S.andCanada. Address, & ASTHMA Iirotd Et7U,M.D., Bnffslo, l.T. STEIN WAY, Gabler and Pease Pianos Meaning tbe Best Piano burnt, and thf rmoriU cheaper Pianm; til Miialcal InnUiUneata; Bud Sup plied; lirtte stock of Bhetit Uubio. Hteihwat Hall. Cruslilnff. He had asked her the momentous question with great wurmth. "You kuow," he said, after a pause, "that t soft answer turneth away wrath." "That's very true," she replied, with a sar castic tinge in her voice; "but a soft question doesu't." Washington Post SUglirly Mixed. Jones How these papers do get mixed Uf sometimes 1 Brown (Vlmt's the matter now! Joues Why, hero's n story of a miner whe was killed by a lump of coal striking him in tbe luiubar . regions, -Binghtimtou Leader. Wlmt Was Wanted. Tobey Wedd (nervously, just Wore th oereraonyl 8uy, Fred, see that everytbiufl, goes off all right. I'm so afraid there will be a hitch in the proceedings somewhere Best Man A hitohf Of course. I'll see that there is. Jjawrence American. Who wins theeyes.wins 6.11."- IIIInrTiiY..' . .:Tr WfS , ki r9 you win j p' in house-clssjiinSa.polio is & solid c&keorscounng- soa.p TryjHn house-cleajiin, irOU ARB JUDGED by your house junt at much at bu your drent. Keep it neat and clean and your reputation will shine. Neglect it and your flood name will suffer. Do not think that home-cleaning ie too trouble tome; it it worth all it costs, especially if you reduce the outlay at time and strength bu using HA POLIO. Buy YvL0wn Goods if Your Dealer Does Not Garry Them. ADVANCE THRESHERS, THE BEST IN AMERICA. FARRY CARTS AND ROAD WAGONS, Best and Cheapest In the World. Carts, SIS Up. Wagons, S50 Up. Chemical Fire Engines and Extinguishers, Fire Hose and Department Supplies, Steam Laundry Machinery, Pumps of all ktudB, Brnw Goods, Pipe and Fittings, Hancock Inspirators, Hsrlne Work Belting snd Hose, Wrenches, Lubricating Oils, Church, School and Farm Bells. Engines and Boilers, Blacksmith Drills and Forges, Buggies, Surrles, Spring and Express Wagons, the lsrgeat sssortiMUl of Carts in Portland. Dealers, write for prices. For further Information call on or address L T. WRIGHT. Foot of Rorrisoi Street, PORTLiKD. OR.