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About The Springfield news. (Springfield, Lane County, Or.) 1916-2006 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 22, 1920)
THIS SMUNGFIfcLD NT5WS PAGE t TtttmSDAV, JAMAhV it 1620: The Cause of a Cough In treating ft cough you must consider Its cause an Inflamed .condition of the respiratory tract.' Any cough may become norlous unless proper treatment is promptly administered. Avoid remedies that silence a cough temporarily. Compound Mentholated Pins Syrup with Tar, Cod Liver Extract and Eucalyptus ' acts directly on the membranes and allays the lnflamatlon which caunes the cough. It gets right at the foundation of the trouble and gives permanent relief. Price 50 Never? UBS1ITUTK ROBERTA WILSON, Editor. Entered at the Springfield Postofflce as classy matter. Subscription Hale: Those taking Springfield Newa gets tha paper free. "BOOKKEEPIN JANGLE" Wanted: An esperietii ed Ink bottle holder. MInm Clad) a Nysrom la for ever tspilling hers. llerc'a a chance for some young nation or club desiring a flag to get an Inspiration Home of our books have so many red lines in thorn that a person would think they resembleJ nome kind of a flag. Opportunities are great. A pretty young lady wanta to secure a position as bookkeeper to a handsome young gentleman. Qualifications are aa fol lows: IMake eyea to perfection. 2. Thoroughness In knowing how to llease the boss. 3. Accuracy In keep ing dates. 4. Rapidity at chewing gum. 6. Dependability In performance of being late. 6. Thorough understand ing of the use of the arm on the bona' arm chuir. 7. Willingncsa to meet calera. Address M. O., care S. II. 3 Tattler. (I'eacon Fish aaya that a bookkeep er with those qualifications would Mick her chewing gum in a person's ear. I'eacon also says that Mrs. IMank doesn't train such "critters" aa them.) Note: The llookkecrin Jangle has a Mjrand' new editor now, beginning with this Issuo. To Inspire accuracy, "Orub" Deets and llalph Love bet when ever they make a trial balance. "Orub" bet at penny on his last one and won. "SHORTHAND CHATTER" Roberta to Mra. I'lunk: "How muc't do 1 have to make tip?" Mrs. I'lank: "One chapter." Robertu: "Why, you didn't study! very much, did you?" Mrs. Plunk: "Wuit until you study It, then see." (Roberta has decided MONEY SAVING. MAGAZINE OFFER KftNllJWOMANl r Ll cents PHONE 31 R 1 that they did atudy quite a bit while she waa gone.) Billle (sitting next to "Cutie"): "What la that word?" Cutle: "Impish, were you ever that?" . Hatel Phillips, who has been absent for some time has returned again. We wish her good luck In her shorthand work. The shorthand class extends hearty thanka to Mrs. Plank for her generos ity of chocolates Friday morning. "SAYINGS" Mra. I'lank: "All minutes, all hours, soiue'a worse than others." . Ashal Flsb: "Here I am." Harry Hughs: "Atta boy! Atta boy!' Sylvia Struben: "Girls can't play basketball." Mr. Roth: "Old Co. C ain't whit they used to be." Milton Coffman: "I cant do geom etry, but did you ever hear me sing?" Lowel Sikes: "Geometry la a mocker, examinations rageth, and whosoever la decelveth thereby, is not wise." Joe Deets: "Ho. that we two were A Maying." Mona Mcllenry: "The fellow who don't like a Jap is a Yap." NOTICE. "I do hereby resign my most hon orable position as editor of "Beok keepin' Jangle," aaya Joe Deeta and I guess he means It alrite. The girls ure going to run it now. Watch the Junior Coyote Quartet, and the Harmonious Discording Sym pathy Orchestra. After three years of patient practice under our efficient You Get ALL FOUR of These Magazines AND Our Newspaper &a$2.40 . Thi. Eiceptional Offer it food for i tiert tune only. ORDER TODAY u4 filak Tlii Big Saviof . music master and conductor, Col. Jo seph Deeta, (Pinto Alevender's suc cessor) we will present to the student body our great musical masterpiece entitled "Bird Seed Orowa Beat In Sawdust," supposed by Harry Hughea and put Into music by the world's famous operatic base-of-tone, Mon sieur Milton Kauffman. Clifford Fan- drem, one of our soloists, has an en gagement with the Metropolitan opera bouse, (as usher). ATHLETIC8. The high school girls are very en thusiastic over basketball and a large number are turning out for practice. They have scheduled a game with Pleasant Hill for Friday evening at Pleasant Hill, and although they haven't practiced much they hope to put up a good fight and be game looaers if need be. Of course they don't plan to loose. Friday night the 18th. the Spring field high school played an exciting basketball game with Company C of the State Guards In the local hall. The Springfield players were greatly hand icapped by tbelr light weight but they had more wind capacity and kept the Co. C players on the alert The score waa 32 to 16 in the company'a favor. Their score came In with the good basket shooting of Eugene on our fouls. BUI Hill conducted the game fairly to both sides. The next game will be with Pleas ant Hill Friday nlgbt. PERSONALS The alumni, Walt Gossler and Jerry Van Valzah, were high school visitors Monday afternoon. Kven hough we came out on the short end of the score Co. C or any other team cannot dampen our spirits. Flossie Jackson came bark and got her books to quit school, as she haa missed so much fflon account of sick ness. Miss Vida Derfllnger and Miss Rena Humphrey of Eugene, visited high school Tuesday morning. Miss Vesta LaRue Is confined to her home with smallpox. Miss Esther Brattain. one of the alumni who has been teaching at Sl!t coos visited high school Tuesday morning. The English V classes who have or aanlzed Into clubs, are beginning some very interesting debate work. The first debate will be on the subject of whether or not the state should furnish free text books. The next de bate which will be Thursday after noon, will be on the subject whether or not foreign immigration should be restricted in the United States. JUNIORS ENTERTAIN ASSEMBLY The Juniors entertained the assem bly Tuesday morning with some high clasa musical selections. The Coyote Quartet gave several selections after which the Tom Thumb Jazzera danced for a few momenta. Miss Basford gave a reading entitled "Opal's Outburst." We were then favored by several se lections from the orchestra. Mr. Hughes played the drums, Mr. Cough Drops, coronet, Mr. Deets, the trom bone, and Miss Basford . the piano. All who heard this surely will agree with me. that with a little practice, S. H. S. could have an orchestra to be proud of. Mr. Kauffman, the world re known ventriloquist, was also present. JOKE Milton Coffman (asking about hop yards): "How much do they pay here; one cent and a half a bushel?" It's plain to see he's an easterner. When that big center of Co. C runs up against the center o fthe Loyal , Legion team he probably won't treat , the title fellow so ruff. Mr. Roh (in ancient history): "Is it too cold for you?" Vivian: "Yes. it is." Mr. Roth: "Well you can sit over there by DwighL" Vivian: "Oh, 1 dout want to sit over there with all hose boys. I'd rather ait here and freeze to death." Opal Mason and Murl Lee have de veloped a new style of friendship holding hands over the teacher's desk. To who it may concern Those wishing to see me after 8 o'clock P. M., call between 7th and 8th on A street. Signed: Joe Deeta.' Helen Roberts has some one's ring, i 10AT waskftMM. Cfcmfcii. Irttklaa aaa alias' UiUs-Murtne for Red nets. Soreness, Ormnula- Zr fo" Itching and Burning HJR .ICO of the Eyes or Eyelid i "t DraM" Ahot Jtat lha Movl tho Movkw. Motorina or Coif glUwM. .Atk Your UracsMk. will win rour can vour oonMono. AM ioui A MuriiM whoa rour Era Noed Cart. MurtM &ye iomoJy Co.,ChlC Boots, shoes, rubber footwear, mitts, gloves, cox, garters, caps and arm bands WAHallSfaoeStore ALSO FIRST CLASS REPAIRING It looks suspicious; soma one ought to investigate the matter. Helen thinks this rather late time of the year to be putting In the above lem. Why, she Is almos ready to get another now. In general science class Mona: "Say, Hazel, what do we get out of the sea that's good to eat?" Hazel: "Coral." Mrs. Ditto, observing several ar ticles of masculine wearing apparel In the hall-way aaked her son who waa moving In. (Promptly from her son) "Oh, mother, those belong to A Shell fish of Carrtea." A RU8TIC WEDDING I'm going to tell you this story la a few simple words, not any tongue twisting or jaw-breaking words that it will take a tape measure to find the length of. I lived in Skeetervllle for about two years and I waa well acquainted with the boys. Skinny O'Shanyan and. I had a great ambition to do something great and so we chose the detective line. Skinny having a great mind and me, a great imagination. One day I happened down town and saw old BUI Shucker's old gray mule lying in the middle of the street in front of the undertaker's office. The traffic was the heaviest that day and the mule died without giving Bill warnln'. I wandered on down the street and stopped at the general store and postoffice. I heard Jake Jackson and Zeke Dandruff talking about a wedding. I listened unnoticed and got some of the details. It was to be a secret wedding and I heard the name of Lizzy McCuss. I started for Shinny's house and told everybody that Jess McCum' sis was going to get married. After 1 found Skinny we went over to Jess to find out the particulars. Jess said that that was Just what he was going to tell us. He overheard his sis and his ma talking. "Lizzy is gonner marry that Texas guy tomorer," says Jess. Now we had our opinions about Texas guys up here and besides the McCusses were klnda rich. If the weather simptoms amount to much the next day promised to be a fine sunny spring day and truly it was. After doing my morning chores which consisted of anything all the way from carrying in wood to trying to kill the neighbors' chickena who tok their dally exercise in our garden, I went to Skinny's and whistled for him and was greeted by his 12 year-old sister: "Ye-e-ah. I seed you with her las' night, didn't ir . "Yuh never neither and sides I ain't got no girl." I shouted back at her. "N'ow-w Joe, you know Jes as well aa I do who she Is, and I saw you buy her some cough drops and a root beer. Yuh don't need to deny it either, says Skinny's sis. "Yer crazy with the heat, I Bint had no money fer a month and that proves that I didn't buy nothing. I never had a girl, they all hate my worts and freckles and sides I have nothin to do wid you ' Wlmmln Yer ' a dern nuicense and all wlmmln Is good fer -is to tattle on us fellers and sit around and try to look pretty,' I shouted back at her. My constitution was about .enraged and at about 150 degrees in the shade. "Your the biggest fibber her lai name Is McSawdust " "Sawdust, lme eye," I retorted. Skinny heard the racket and cam out. "My dogglne sis has to pes ter es te you ever time you comes aroun,' don't she?" said Skinny. "Yeah, she thinks that I got a woman." We went to Jim Sneeze's house and after getting him we went over to Jess McCuss' house. The wed ding was to b. there and It was all decorated, people were beginning to arrive. They had to get a preacher from an adjoining town named I. Wed dem. He had not arrived yet. Now I won't say until later what w. did kfor the next hour and ft half. . In the middle of the ceremony us fellers "cut loose" with all the nerve racking instruments obtainable in Hkeeterrllle. We didn't get anything but a cussing from the Texas guy and a threat to shoot us with salt and pep per. There w as about twenty-five of us guys; we didn't want to spoil the wedding by breaking In and stealing the eat and we thought our next wisest move was to go to the depot as Jess said that he heard his sis say that they was going .to leave Irmedl ately afte.r the ceremony. Now the Skeetervllle statloo wasn't one of those three story buildings with a dozen baggage-smashers, a half dozen porters, five or six ticket agents not saying anything about the number of elevated trains. The Skeetervllle station waa one of those one-horso stations where one man 'served as baggage man, ticket agent, flagman, operator and Janitor. Wateher beaten boards hung on each end of the place with the world renown famous name "Skeetervllle" on them. A crooked track wound and twisted by the sta tion like a snake in motion. A distant whistle, rather a sort of equeeky noise was beard, ti was the whirl-wind express. The general sta tion agent planted himself in the mid dle of the track and begun waving his flag franticaly altho there was no train in sight. The express consist ing of a "dinky" engine, a baggage car,' a couple of coaches and a cattle car came up squeeklng, wheezing siz zling and flnaly stopped very near up on the agent with a loud groan. (To be continued.) SMALLPOX SCARE AT MAPLETON Miss Mary BrownelL Lane county health nurse, reports that more than 100 persons were recently vaccinated at Mapleton on account of a scare cf smallpox there. Two severe cases of the dread disease were reported. When yon patronise Springfield's leading bank the First National you deal .with a city, county, state and national depository. Are you safe? WelL yea, I guets so. Have yon read the want ads. tre Vta' ttdriBTXhMX : count JUUUUVJ.I'l 1 CANCER NO KNIFE AND LOSS OP BLOOD No Plaster and Pains fer Hours or Days TUMORS, PILES, FISTULA, GOITRE DISEASES OP WOMEN SKIN STOMACH, BOWELS Pour years study in Europe. Ov.r thirty years Experience. Portland Physical Therapy Labora tories, 412 to 417 Journal Building Portland, Ore. ROBERT BURNS Lodge. No 78. A. M. I. Ancient am Accepted Scottish Rite Unl versa! and Symbolic Frei QV. Masons meets tint and thin maty evening u w, u, n ball Visiting brothers we O SERVICE ! AA ootne. Lee Clark Chea. King swell Secretary. R. W. M,