THIS SMUNGFIfcLD NT5WS
PAGE t
TtttmSDAV, JAMAhV it 1620:
The Cause of a Cough
In treating ft cough you must consider Its cause an
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may become norlous unless proper treatment is promptly
administered.
Avoid remedies that silence a cough temporarily.
Compound Mentholated Pins Syrup with Tar, Cod Liver
Extract and Eucalyptus '
acts directly on the membranes and allays the lnflamatlon
which caunes the cough. It gets right at the foundation of
the trouble and gives permanent relief.
Price 50
Never?
UBS1ITUTK
ROBERTA WILSON, Editor.
Entered at the Springfield Postofflce as classy matter.
Subscription Hale: Those taking Springfield Newa gets tha paper free.
"BOOKKEEPIN JANGLE"
Wanted: An esperietii ed Ink bottle
holder. MInm Clad) a Nysrom la for
ever tspilling hers.
llerc'a a chance for some young
nation or club desiring a flag to get
an Inspiration Home of our books
have so many red lines in thorn that
a person would think they resembleJ
nome kind of a flag.
Opportunities are great. A pretty
young lady wanta to secure a position
as bookkeeper to a handsome young
gentleman. Qualifications are aa fol
lows: IMake eyea to perfection. 2.
Thoroughness In knowing how to
llease the boss. 3. Accuracy In keep
ing dates. 4. Rapidity at chewing
gum. 6. Dependability In performance
of being late. 6. Thorough understand
ing of the use of the arm on the bona'
arm chuir. 7. Willingncsa to meet
calera. Address M. O., care S. II. 3
Tattler.
(I'eacon Fish aaya that a bookkeep
er with those qualifications would
Mick her chewing gum in a person's
ear. I'eacon also says that Mrs. IMank
doesn't train such "critters" aa them.)
Note: The llookkecrin Jangle has
a Mjrand' new editor now, beginning
with this Issuo.
To Inspire accuracy, "Orub" Deets
and llalph Love bet when ever they
make a trial balance. "Orub" bet at
penny on his last one and won.
"SHORTHAND CHATTER"
Roberta to Mra. I'lunk: "How muc't
do 1 have to make tip?"
Mrs. I'lank: "One chapter."
Robertu: "Why, you didn't study!
very much, did you?"
Mrs. Plunk: "Wuit until you study
It, then see." (Roberta has decided
MONEY SAVING.
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that they did atudy quite a bit while
she waa gone.)
Billle (sitting next to "Cutie"):
"What la that word?"
Cutle: "Impish, were you ever
that?" .
Hatel Phillips, who has been absent
for some time has returned again. We
wish her good luck In her shorthand
work.
The shorthand class extends hearty
thanka to Mrs. Plank for her generos
ity of chocolates Friday morning.
"SAYINGS"
Mra. I'lank: "All minutes, all hours,
soiue'a worse than others."
. Ashal Flsb: "Here I am."
Harry Hughs: "Atta boy! Atta boy!'
Sylvia Struben: "Girls can't play
basketball."
Mr. Roth: "Old Co. C ain't whit
they used to be."
Milton Coffman: "I cant do geom
etry, but did you ever hear me sing?"
Lowel Sikes: "Geometry la a
mocker, examinations rageth, and
whosoever la decelveth thereby, is not
wise."
Joe Deets: "Ho. that we two were
A Maying."
Mona Mcllenry: "The fellow who
don't like a Jap is a Yap."
NOTICE.
"I do hereby resign my most hon
orable position as editor of "Beok
keepin' Jangle," aaya Joe Deeta and
I guess he means It alrite. The girls
ure going to run it now.
Watch the Junior Coyote Quartet,
and the Harmonious Discording Sym
pathy Orchestra. After three years of
patient practice under our efficient
You Get ALL FOUR of These
Magazines
AND
Our Newspaper
&a$2.40
. Thi. Eiceptional Offer it food
for i tiert tune only. ORDER
TODAY u4 filak Tlii Big Saviof .
music master and conductor, Col. Jo
seph Deeta, (Pinto Alevender's suc
cessor) we will present to the student
body our great musical masterpiece
entitled "Bird Seed Orowa Beat In
Sawdust," supposed by Harry Hughea
and put Into music by the world's
famous operatic base-of-tone, Mon
sieur Milton Kauffman. Clifford Fan-
drem, one of our soloists, has an en
gagement with the Metropolitan opera
bouse, (as usher).
ATHLETIC8.
The high school girls are very en
thusiastic over basketball and a large
number are turning out for practice.
They have scheduled a game with
Pleasant Hill for Friday evening at
Pleasant Hill, and although they
haven't practiced much they hope to
put up a good fight and be game
looaers if need be. Of course they
don't plan to loose.
Friday night the 18th. the Spring
field high school played an exciting
basketball game with Company C of
the State Guards In the local hall. The
Springfield players were greatly hand
icapped by tbelr light weight but they
had more wind capacity and kept the
Co. C players on the alert The score
waa 32 to 16 in the company'a favor.
Their score came In with the good
basket shooting of Eugene on our
fouls. BUI Hill conducted the game
fairly to both sides.
The next game will be with Pleas
ant Hill Friday nlgbt.
PERSONALS
The alumni, Walt Gossler and Jerry
Van Valzah, were high school visitors
Monday afternoon.
Kven hough we came out on the
short end of the score Co. C or any
other team cannot dampen our spirits.
Flossie Jackson came bark and got
her books to quit school, as she haa
missed so much fflon account of sick
ness. Miss Vida Derfllnger and Miss Rena
Humphrey of Eugene, visited high
school Tuesday morning.
Miss Vesta LaRue Is confined to
her home with smallpox.
Miss Esther Brattain. one of the
alumni who has been teaching at Sl!t
coos visited high school Tuesday
morning.
The English V classes who have or
aanlzed Into clubs, are beginning
some very interesting debate work.
The first debate will be on the subject
of whether or not the state should
furnish free text books. The next de
bate which will be Thursday after
noon, will be on the subject whether
or not foreign immigration should be
restricted in the United States.
JUNIORS ENTERTAIN ASSEMBLY
The Juniors entertained the assem
bly Tuesday morning with some high
clasa musical selections. The Coyote
Quartet gave several selections after
which the Tom Thumb Jazzera danced
for a few momenta. Miss Basford gave
a reading entitled "Opal's Outburst."
We were then favored by several se
lections from the orchestra. Mr.
Hughes played the drums, Mr. Cough
Drops, coronet, Mr. Deets, the trom
bone, and Miss Basford . the piano. All
who heard this surely will agree with
me. that with a little practice, S. H.
S. could have an orchestra to be proud
of. Mr. Kauffman, the world re
known ventriloquist, was also present.
JOKE
Milton Coffman (asking about hop
yards): "How much do they pay
here; one cent and a half a bushel?"
It's plain to see he's an easterner.
When that big center of Co. C runs
up against the center o fthe Loyal ,
Legion team he probably won't treat ,
the title fellow so ruff.
Mr. Roh (in ancient history): "Is
it too cold for you?"
Vivian: "Yes. it is."
Mr. Roth: "Well you can sit over
there by DwighL"
Vivian: "Oh, 1 dout want to sit
over there with all hose boys. I'd
rather ait here and freeze to death."
Opal Mason and Murl Lee have de
veloped a new style of friendship
holding hands over the teacher's desk.
To who it may concern Those
wishing to see me after 8 o'clock P.
M., call between 7th and 8th on A
street. Signed: Joe Deeta.'
Helen Roberts has some one's ring, i
10AT waskftMM. Cfcmfcii.
Irttklaa aaa alias'
UiUs-Murtne for Red
nets. Soreness, Ormnula-
Zr fo" Itching and Burning
HJR
.ICO
of the Eyes or Eyelid i
"t DraM" Ahot
Jtat lha Movl
tho Movkw. Motorina or Coif
glUwM. .Atk Your UracsMk.
will win rour can
vour oonMono. AM ioui
A MuriiM whoa rour Era Noed Cart.
MurtM &ye iomoJy Co.,ChlC
Boots, shoes, rubber footwear, mitts,
gloves, cox, garters, caps and
arm bands
WAHallSfaoeStore
ALSO FIRST CLASS REPAIRING
It looks suspicious; soma one ought
to investigate the matter.
Helen thinks this rather late time
of the year to be putting In the above
lem. Why, she Is almos ready to get
another now.
In general science class Mona:
"Say, Hazel, what do we get out of the
sea that's good to eat?" Hazel:
"Coral."
Mrs. Ditto, observing several ar
ticles of masculine wearing apparel In
the hall-way aaked her son who waa
moving In. (Promptly from her son)
"Oh, mother, those belong to A Shell
fish of Carrtea."
A RU8TIC WEDDING
I'm going to tell you this story la
a few simple words, not any tongue
twisting or jaw-breaking words that
it will take a tape measure to find
the length of.
I lived in Skeetervllle for about two
years and I waa well acquainted with
the boys. Skinny O'Shanyan and. I
had a great ambition to do something
great and so we chose the detective
line. Skinny having a great mind and
me, a great imagination.
One day I happened down town and
saw old BUI Shucker's old gray mule
lying in the middle of the street in
front of the undertaker's office. The
traffic was the heaviest that day and
the mule died without giving Bill
warnln'. I wandered on down the
street and stopped at the general
store and postoffice. I heard Jake
Jackson and Zeke Dandruff talking
about a wedding. I listened unnoticed
and got some of the details. It was to
be a secret wedding and I heard the
name of Lizzy McCuss.
I started for Shinny's house and
told everybody that Jess McCum' sis
was going to get married. After 1
found Skinny we went over to Jess
to find out the particulars. Jess said
that that was Just what he was going
to tell us. He overheard his sis and
his ma talking. "Lizzy is gonner
marry that Texas guy tomorer," says
Jess. Now we had our opinions about
Texas guys up here and besides the
McCusses were klnda rich.
If the weather simptoms amount to
much the next day promised to be a
fine sunny spring day and truly it was.
After doing my morning chores which
consisted of anything all the way from
carrying in wood to trying to kill the
neighbors' chickena who tok their
dally exercise in our garden, I went
to Skinny's and whistled for him and
was greeted by his 12 year-old sister:
"Ye-e-ah. I seed you with her las'
night, didn't ir .
"Yuh never neither and sides I ain't
got no girl." I shouted back at her.
"N'ow-w Joe, you know Jes as well aa
I do who she Is, and I saw you buy
her some cough drops and a root beer.
Yuh don't need to deny it either,
says Skinny's sis.
"Yer crazy with the heat, I Bint had
no money fer a month and that proves
that I didn't buy nothing. I never had
a girl, they all hate my worts and
freckles and sides I have nothin to
do wid you ' Wlmmln Yer ' a dern
nuicense and all wlmmln Is good fer
-is to tattle on us fellers and sit around
and try to look pretty,' I shouted back
at her. My constitution was about
.enraged and at about 150 degrees in
the shade.
"Your the biggest fibber her lai
name Is McSawdust " "Sawdust, lme
eye," I retorted.
Skinny heard the racket and cam
out. "My dogglne sis has to pes ter
es te you ever time you comes aroun,'
don't she?" said Skinny.
"Yeah, she thinks that I got a
woman." We went to Jim Sneeze's
house and after getting him we went
over to Jess McCuss' house. The wed
ding was to b. there and It was all
decorated, people were beginning to
arrive. They had to get a preacher
from an adjoining town named I. Wed
dem. He had not arrived yet. Now
I won't say until later what w. did
kfor the next hour and ft half.
. In the middle of the ceremony us
fellers "cut loose" with all the nerve
racking instruments obtainable in
Hkeeterrllle. We didn't get anything
but a cussing from the Texas guy and
a threat to shoot us with salt and pep
per. There w as about twenty-five of
us guys; we didn't want to spoil the
wedding by breaking In and stealing
the eat and we thought our next
wisest move was to go to the depot
as Jess said that he heard his sis say
that they was going .to leave Irmedl
ately afte.r the ceremony.
Now the Skeetervllle statloo wasn't
one of those three story buildings
with a dozen baggage-smashers, a half
dozen porters, five or six ticket agents
not saying anything about the number
of elevated trains. The Skeetervllle
station waa one of those one-horso
stations where one man 'served as
baggage man, ticket agent, flagman,
operator and Janitor. Wateher beaten
boards hung on each end of the place
with the world renown famous name
"Skeetervllle" on them. A crooked
track wound and twisted by the sta
tion like a snake in motion.
A distant whistle, rather a sort of
equeeky noise was beard, ti was the
whirl-wind express. The general sta
tion agent planted himself in the mid
dle of the track and begun waving his
flag franticaly altho there was no
train in sight. The express consist
ing of a "dinky" engine, a baggage
car,' a couple of coaches and a cattle
car came up squeeklng, wheezing siz
zling and flnaly stopped very near up
on the agent with a loud groan.
(To be continued.)
SMALLPOX SCARE AT MAPLETON
Miss Mary BrownelL Lane county
health nurse, reports that more than
100 persons were recently vaccinated
at Mapleton on account of a scare cf
smallpox there. Two severe cases of
the dread disease were reported.
When yon patronise Springfield's
leading bank the First National
you deal .with a city, county, state
and national depository. Are you
safe? WelL yea, I guets so.
Have yon read the want ads.
tre Vta' ttdriBTXhMX : count
JUUUUVJ.I'l 1
CANCER
NO KNIFE AND LOSS OP BLOOD
No Plaster and Pains fer Hours
or Days
TUMORS, PILES, FISTULA, GOITRE
DISEASES OP WOMEN SKIN
STOMACH, BOWELS Pour years
study in Europe. Ov.r thirty years
Experience.
Portland Physical Therapy Labora
tories, 412 to 417 Journal Building
Portland, Ore.
ROBERT BURNS Lodge. No
78. A. M. I. Ancient am
Accepted Scottish Rite Unl
versa! and Symbolic Frei
QV. Masons meets tint and thin
maty evening u w, u, n
ball Visiting brothers we
O SERVICE !
AA
ootne.
Lee Clark Chea. King swell
Secretary. R. W. M,