Junction City bulletin., July 18, 1901, Image 7

Humors
They take roislHt of tlx body , ind
aro Lords of Miami.
They aro atumtd by pimple, boll, ths
Itching tetter, Mlt rheum, an1 other eta.
tuneou eruptions; by feeilnge of wr-kttKk,
languor, KriMTHi u'-mniy una wiiiu not.
1lcy catiM mors ufltTtujc than anything
liw,
Health, fltrenirtb, l'rac end pleasure
require their cmllon, and this In rol.
tlvely effected, swordlng to thousand of
grstpful teatlrnoulnli, by
Hood's Sarsaparilla
Which redtrally and permanently drive
tbetu out and build up tit whole ayateiu.
Bound to Bt Hesrd.
Jenlcr I understand our pastor In
going to preach through a nugnfi(tnr
hercuftcr. .
Jintson Why U Hint?
Jester Why, the sleeping mem.
lr of the congregation snore so
loudly that the other can't hear,
"t 1 '
llotlfi Srltowl.
At Mft to Turk, fan Mt 'onMy. rl., with
It Uaiitlfiil, iiffiiittdHM, rlrH clonal,
rarvliil to tr vision, ttif,rifh irutruiMlnti,
roinMH ltorl"rlii. nt t ninHim. rl
)! " UliiM 1 ii I tix Irciut rati. til
it-linol. (or bn nil lit rwiHi! Cot, It ii.
Uoltl, I'll. I'rlm -Iwtt.
Station far Ohrvtnj Earthquakes.
The academy of science tit Vienna
lin resolved to ctHhliih ft novel sta
tion for the tlrvatioti of earth'
quakes, In a silver mine 100 meter
below the surface.
The liiTieriptijrV"Mtrt
Hilt U end Fv-r It bottle of Oroirt Taatel
Ublll Totilf. Ulttntly Iron end auinln In
frotoU term. No Cor. Wo fay, frlcatiuc.
Clearly True.
"What tlo think of this Idea thnt
Mar i sending signals?" asked Mr.
BeechwtJod.
"There's nothing cm earth in it!"
replied Mr. Homewood, emphatically.
Mother will find Mr. Wlnslnw's Booth.
In Hyrup the bett remedy to HH for their
AUitaran during tu teeimoi penoa.
Mil Rimoa,
First Tramp. Wny awn t yer
swipe drtt feller's chain leu bicycle
dtttyer went niter Ut niight?
Second Trami Well, 1 found out
dcre was a chninloM dorg in do yard
Raw a,ra of Otntmoota for Catarrh That
( on tain Marenry,
Aa ntrrpttry will surety destroy ib mm At
man mieumitioieir gurinn (it wnom tya.
fin wiirn-htrini tt mrMh iti murottito
Iun. Wurh ritrU phould ner b iiikI
wt'l on vwrinoim from rvnoutit ilirl-
elmit, m ltidtu ih will do U in (old U
in tH.t ) nu ru puwibif oariv irotn tbm.
Hill's i'aturth Cuf. rnknulariurexl br F. J.
Ctieuey l'o., Tolr(ln.O.,eotttn nontcrenry,
iti Ukn lutf rnllj', rtlna dlrvcUr Un
Hi IiIikmI tid nmrou tur(M of tha ratam.
Jn bayttif Mall'i Catarrh Cur b fur yott nt
lti t.iutiiiK. It I tab a !tilrnA!. and m4
tu Tul-tii. Onto, b . J. Cban.y A t.
(imttlitK, '
Kol.l by lru(t, prim Ibo, pt botU.
llaii' family I'tln art thbtL
Equal to tha Occasion,
Liveried Menial Me Lud, the car
riage wait without.
Ilia Lordahip Without what?
"Without home, me Lud; 'tis an
automobile.
TO CEKK A COLD V& OMB DAT
TaJt lAXatlva Bromo Qnlnln Tablet. All
truntau retunit tha money lilt tail to euro,
t W, Urora'l ii nature lion aatb U)i. 3je,
Wanted to Know.
rapaOh, no! Waahtngton never
told ft lie.
Johnny Who attended to that part
of his strategy for him, pa?
Mama Kal C'aacarvt.
Paby rn thebeueflt. N'uralne nioibere make
their in Ilk mlUlly iiurgallve with CaararrU.llir
only eat laialtv lur lab If. All drugglM. KV,
36c, flUC
Utcr.
Again the two illustrious men met.
"McSweeney," said the governor
cf North Curolina to the governor of
South Carolina, with deep solemnity,
"have you joined tho JJuttaloes?"
Scrofula is an unwelcome legacy, but one which
the children of blood poisoned parentage must
accept, with all its humiliating consequences. It is
an inheritance that makes one poorer; that brings
wretchedoees and disease instead of health and
riches, for the child whose ancestral blood is tainted
with Scrofula or the loathsome virus of Contagious
Blood Poison is unfitted for the ardnoua duties of
life so lone? as any of the transmitted Doiaon remains
In its veins. Scrofula manifests itself in various forms; swollen glands about the
neck and throat, catarrh of the head, weak eyes, hip bone disease, white swelling
and offensive sores and abscesses are familiar symptoms, attended usually with
loss of strength, poor digestion and pale or bloodless complexion. The skin is
sometimes most dreadfully affected, eruptions breaking out on all parts of the body.
Scrofula destroys bone, tissue and flesh ; so part of the human system escapes its.
mmti flawed nrt Vhoht1 r v
mm, . i mm m m
owat a w twm am J VSB e V1M P fjovriaBar w v w
after tho birth of my first ohlld, tho srland on
tho loft sld of sny nook bag-oa to swell. Four of
tho plao woro Unood nd booamo opon running
aoroa; rUlnts oamo under r loft arm, and tho
41aoh.r-e was simply awfal. Tho dootor sold Z
hsvd tho worst oaso of erofala they h4 over
soon. Z took Iodide of potlom, bat this nor
tho other druirs rl-roa for this dlaoooo brought
relief. When tho phyololaao a4vid mo to havo
tho elands romoTod, Z deeided to try B. 8. S. A
few bottle cured sao completely J no signs of
u sorricio aiaaaoo ore ion.
ants, bioharo wassoit,
Oolda Corners, Ohio.
purity to the profoundly poisoned blood, and the rich, strong blood that is carried
to the swollen and diseased glands absorbs and destroys the tuberculous deposits,
"tad the painful, disfiguring sores and other evidences of Scrofula disappear. ,
S. S. 8. should be begun immediately upon the appearance of the first symp.
totns, or where there is a known predisposition to Scrofula. Our medical depart
went will be found of great help to those who are struggling with this wasting
disease of heredity or any other blood trouble, and we invite you to write us.
Should you or any member of your family need advice, our physicians will cheer
fully give the information you desire, for which we moke no charge. Book OS
Blood and Bkia Diseases free.
THB SWIFT SPECIFIC COA1PANY, ATLANTA OA.
Tha Lm rmlly. I
The fflimly, which, until the
civil war, had alwny lieen repreiient'
ed in the) army, wan until the HottttWh
war without a inxle inetuixr in the
regular rvice. Now there are two
loa in tho army fcnd the third will
nlo jirobithly otn wear it in ahoulder
atrtt!, t
Not That Kind.
Obaerver You don't aweat much
at your work? .
Laborer I eueaa not; dollar
day ain't iweatin' wagea.
Th Trual Frobim.
To a tlKititrhtful moiil. the troat iiMblm
la out of ri.iiin tiuNitt. Ii uitit be lirnily
Kri..un witn. i'ir it ervrun Umi K )vi f
iM-nr you are iitr t it exmieiu'e. in
It Ik r-it iiiiit-ii rfM-nililtiiK tii vart'ina
llminlrm wliu li mtiti k the tniiiu:ii, anclt
l VU(lt1'lltlllll. llHliK,,"!'.'t.lly..H. bll-
iiuane. liver ami klilnev tm'ulitri. ltim
ifiiern Homni'li Hitiera (a tlie one reliabU
rortifdr for all kih Ii alliiteut. ! ur to
alve it a trial.
Slgni of Spr In j.
"Have you heard a robin yet?"
"No, but I've wen a woman with
her head tied tip in a towel beating a
carpet in tho back yard."
mm ph&ses.
THE UPS AND DOWNS IN THE i
LIFE OF A CLERK. I
A Tal of HUfnrtan and Mlaary Vflth m
ntpy Knillng-Tha World lmd
All Vrr lrh for a While.
A clerk's life, ordinarily, is u very
humdrum one with but very little
variety to the daily routine. Ihit
Mr. Fred It. Mor' m of No. 80 Vesper,
street, Portland Me., had an experi
ence recently which has made hia life
now a very happy one. In tilling a
reporter of what he went through he
said:
"I had been suffering with stomach
trouble for about two years. Every
day sbout ten o'clock in the morning
and three o'clock in the afternoon 1
U-canie faint and felt so bad that if I
did not sit down I would fall. That
senaation usually lusted for about an
hour and when noon came I had ik
pjetite for lunch.
"I saw Dr. Williams' Pink Tills for
Tale People advertised in the daily
patier about a year ago and decided
to try them. I felt relief from the
first box and after I had taken six
boxes my disease was cured. I do not
take them now but always keep them
in the house, I have told my friends
what these pills have done for me and
"should I know of anyone's being sick
as I was I should recommend Dr.
Williams' Pink Pills for Tale People."
Mr. Morton's statement was pub
lished in the Tortland Express after
ho had sworn to it before Marshall II.
Purrington, a notary public.
The moat effective remedy in the
world in casea of this kind in Dr. Wil
liams Pink Pills for Pale People.
They act directly on the blood and
nerves. This makes them invaluable
not only for stomach trouble but ahto
for such diseases as locomotor ataxia,
'partial paralysis, Ht. Vitus' dance,
sciatica, neuralgia, rheumatism,
nervous headache, the after effects
of the grip, palpitation of the heart.
little and sallow complexions ana all
forms of weakness either in mule or
female. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills
for Pale Peoplo are sold by all deal
ers, or will le wnt postpaid on receipt
of price, fifty cents a lwx, or six boxes
for two dollars and fifty cents (they
are never sold in bulk or by tho hun
dred) by addressing Dr. Williams
Medicine Co., Schenectady, N. Y.
And In Cold Weather.
"When did tho window blush?"
"When it saw tho weatherstrip."
I V S VVUMIUIUig WMVM
Parents who blood ia pois
oned by their own misdeeds,
or who themselves may be
Buffering for the sins of some
remote ancestor, must re
store their own blood to its
normal purity and strength,
or they cannot expect
healthy, robust children.
6. 8. S. cures Scrofula, like
other diseases of a deep,
tested, constitutional charac
ter, br restoruur life and
WILLIAM H. MOORE.
Financier Who Ha Turn! from Ia
doatriat Pttld to allroda.
The recent eleetiot of William If.
More a director of the Chicago,
Itoek IxlrttKl and I'ocltlc roitd mnrked
the entrftuce of Moore Ifroa Into the
rnllHay llebl. In the paat all their In
loicxU have been In IridJatrhil com
panlea, and the ability they displayed
in the orffitnlKiitlun of aiuh corporal I on
lta brought them greut auem, which
U iiieiiHtiretl by tnlllloua of dollara.
Judge Moore moved frotu here to New
York n year and a half ago to attend
the Kioftern bualneaa of the firm, but
J. II. Moore atlll baa hla oMI In Chi
cago. :
The Moore are ranked now among
the dominant factora In Wall trer.
It waa five year ago that their enter
prim hi IMatnond Match failed. Not
dlacourMgpd, In Febrtinry. 180S, they
formed the National HUcult ('ompaoy,
which proved a atim. and later or
ganiei'd the National Hteel. American
Tlnphte. Aitterlciiu Steel Hoop and
American Hheet Steel Companle,
which were ahxorbtHl thU year by the
WILLIAM II. MOOHE.
J'nlted States Steel Corporation. The
American Can Company Is one of their
recent promotion.
William II. Moore was born In Utlca,
N. Y., on Oct. 2T, im lie was edu
cated at a seminary In Oneida and In
Cortland Academy at Homer. N. Y.,
and fu 18(57 entered Amherst College.
White traveling to improve his health
u. visited Eau Claire, Wis., and de
cide! to eettl there and study law.
In 1872 he was admitted to the bar, and
In the fall of that year came to Chi
cago. He entered the office of Edward
A. Small, and In a year and a half be
came a partner. The firm of Small &
Moore continued until Mr. Small died,
In 1882. when J. II. Moore went Into
partnership with his brother. W. II.
and J. II. Moore were counsel for a
number of prominent corporations for
several years, but gradually they begau
the organization of companies and de
voted more and more of their time to
financial affairs.
Itlggeat Game Preserve.
The largest game preserve In the
world Is the continent of Africa, or at
leant the greater portion of It extend
ing from the twentieth degree of north
latitude down to the northern Iwrders
or Cape Colony and Natal. This great
scheme was made potmlble by a treaty
co-operation of England, Germany,
France, Belgium, Portugal, Italy and
Spulu, by which It Is provided that the
hunting and destruction of vultures,
secretary birds, owls, giraffes, goiillns,
chimpanzees, mountain zebras, wild
asses, white-tailed gnus, elunc and the
little Llberlau hippopotami are abso
lutely prohibited. Slmllur protection
is given the young of ceritilu animals,
Including the elephant, rhinoceros, hip
popotamus, antelope, gazelle, Ibex and
chevroa!n, and to the adults of these
species when accompanied by their
young, says a writer In Field and
Stream. Particular stress is laid on
the protection of young elephants, and
elephnnttusks weighing lefts than twen
ty pounds will be confiscated. Tho eggs
of the ostrich and many other birds are
protected, but those of the crocodile,
python and poisonous snakes are to be
destroyed. Even lions, leopards, hyenas,
harmful monkeys and large birds of
prey may not be slaughtered at the
hunter's will. Hunters are required to
take out licenses, and the number of
animals each may kill is limited. The
use of nets and pitfalls Is forbidden,
nor may explosives be used for killing
Qsh.
The main object of this vast protec
tive enterprise Is economic, to encour
age the domestication of the elephant,
zebra and ostrich and to husband the
trade In wild animal products, which
was threatened by the rapacity of
market hunters and so-called sports
men. : ' ' ' -'V
Female Tax Collector."
Miss Mary Kuhn has for three years
past been annually elected tax collector
of the borough of Mount Joy, To, It
Is declared that since she has occupied
the office every cent of taxes has been
collected and promptly turned over to
the proper authorities i
r
f fell
mm
W i
Milk
Hoax I kluwd her when she wasn't
looking. Joux Miat did she do? Hoax
Kfpt her eyes shut ihe rest of the
evening. '
Tom Benedict says he thinks It's
nice to be engaged. Mrs. T-Why, he's
married. Tom Of course. That's why
he think so.
Bill-When a man Is In debt I think
he ought to try and get out. Jill Do
you mean out of debt or out of town?
Yoiikers Ktatexmun.
"Johnny, you must not interrupt any
one when they are speaking." "Well,
I'll have to when I'm married, like you.
papa, won't IT' Yonkers Statesman.
"She says her face Is her fortune,'
sa.d Maud. "Yes," nnld Mamie; fund
1 felt like telling her to cheer up; pov
erty Is no dlKgrace." Washington Star.
Willie Pa, why do they call our lan
guage the mother tongue? Pa Sh! It's
because your father never gets a
chance to use, it Baltimore Telegram.
Crawford How do you figure that
the exhibition In Buffalo la better than
the one they had In Paris? Crabshaw
It doesn't cost so much to get there
Judge. ".
"Why did you leave your last place?"
"Master was too sarcastic." "How was
tbatr "Well, I told him I seen a snail
on the garden path, an' he says to me:
You must have met It'"
"You know." said his friend, "that
genius Is denned as au infinite capacity
for taking pains." "Hem!" said the lazy
man, "that reconciles me to the fact
that I'm not a genius." Puck.
"You want the pockets to run np and
down, I suppose?" said the tailor. "No,
sir," the Irritable customer replied; "I
prefer stationary pockets. You may
make the slits perpendicular, how
ever." Nearpass I see that a mail commit
ted .suicide because he thought he had
outlived bis usefulness. Bennett
That's strange. The average victim
of that complaint keeps right on out
living It v
Editor I want a uan to take charge
of the children's department of our pa
per, ylle must be a man whose lan
guage is free from modern slang. Ap
plicantI'm the guy you're chasing.
and that's no pipe.
Mrs. Strongmlnd Why don't you go
to work? Tramp Pleases mum,- I
made a solemn vow twenty years ago
that I'd never do another stroke of
work till women was paid th same
wages as men. New York Weekly.
Jawson How did your automobile
journey turn out? Dawson Beautiful
ly! Although I ran over two pedestrl
atis and three bicycles and knocked two
wagons Into a ditch, my motor was not
at all Injured, and I arrived Just on
time. . .,
"1 see that millionaire says be got
on because he always knew the Job of
the man ahead of him." "Well, In the
shop where I work they keep you too
busy hustling nt your own Job to have
a chance to learn that of any other fel
low." Mrs. GoodHonl (answering ring)
What Is it, little girl? Mary-Please,
ma'am, we've lost our kitty. She left
yesterday and we're hunting her. We
want to know If you have seen a cat
by the name Of Minerva go by your
house. Puck.
Jack Hardup (with unwonted enthu
siasm) By Jove! I see that some fel
low is talking about introducing a bill
Into the Houe making it a misde
meanor to send an.ioying letters to any
body. Very clever dea thnt. I'll have
my tailor locked up for six months, by
Jove!
The mistress (entering the kitchen)
Jane, didn't I hear a dish break a min
ute ago. The Maid I hope you did,
mem; It made noise enough. If you
hadn't heard it I should have thought
you were getting deaf, and that, you
know, would be awful. Boston Tran
script "Do you remember that schoolma'am
that I was so much mashed on when
we went to school together?" "Yep.
Where is she now?" "I left her at my
home half an hour ago." "Then you
married her after all?" "Not much 1
didn't She married my youngest boy."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Wife (3 a. m.) John Henry, you're
drunk. John Henry No-no (hie), my
dear; I'm only ti(hlc)red. Wez my
slippers? Wife (in disgust) Over there
beside the fireplace, where they have
been since six o'clock last evening.
John Henry (after wandering around
for bulf an hour) 'Scuse me (hie), my
dear. 7ez the fireplace? Leslie's
Weekly. ',.'.,'. - V
"Please, miss," said a Sunday school
pupil, "Willie Jones is swearing."
"Shocking!" said the teacher. "Tell
me what he said, Tommy." "I don't
like," said Tommy, hanging his bend.
But you must," Insisted the teacher.
Well," replied Tommy, "I don't like
to. say it, but you say over all the bad
words you know, and I'll tell you when
you come to the right one,"
To; EloihGPo' of . :
In this workaday world few women
are so placed that physical exertion
is not constantly demanded of them in
.their daily life.
We make a special appeal to mothers
of large families whose work is never
done, and many of whom snfTer, and
suffer for lack of Intelligent aid,
To women, young or old, rich or
poor, we extend an invitation to accept
tree advice. Oh, women 1 do sot let
' Mas. Caxbsb Btumui.
your Uvea be sacrificed when a word of
advice at the first approach of weak
ness, may fill your future years with
healthy joy. Address a letter to Mrs.
Pinkham's Laboratory, Lynn Mass.,
and yon will not be disappointed.
"When 1 began to take Lydirv E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound I wae
not able to do my housework. I suf
fered terribly at time of menstruation,
Several doctors told me they could dc
nothing forme. Thanks to the Pink
ham advice and medicine I am now
well, and caa do the work for eight ia
the family.
"I would recommend Lydia E. Pink
ham's Vegetable Compound to all
mothers with large families." Mhs."
Casjub Beixxttlle. Ludington. MicV
A Choice.
"What is it this morning?" asked
the new waitress. "Ham and eggs,
isn't it?"
"Not exactly," said the boarding
house mistress, "and I want you to
work this well. You must be careful
to say to each boarder, 'Ham or
eggs?"
' in. 1 '
The Passing of Cah.b
Cahaba, the former capital of Ala
bama, is not even a town now, being
returnea ny tne census as precinct so.
16 in Dallas county. Several years
ago the town site was sold for taxes
and was bought by a Negro for a few
hundred dollars.
SfmpatftmCoveftmrttt
Wor-ttm Off Ihm Col J.
Xxat!v Promo-Quinine Tablrta enre a cold l!j
one day. Mo cure, Mo Pay. Price 26 oenta.
Her Idea. ,
Miss Bridesoon What is your idea
of the ideal lover? ;
Miss Yellowleaf The one who mar
ries. .....
Josh's Future.
"I guess maybe Josh is goin' to be
a great financier, an' git money by
his brains," remarked Farmer Corn-t-ossel.
"Does he take such an interest in
commercial affairs?"
"No; but he's got to get a livin'
somehow, an' he jest won't work."
Family Bereavement
"Am a part orphan now?" asked
the chick of the hen.
"What do you mean?" inquired
the hen.
"The incubator was burned last
night," answered the chick.
Horrors of War.
"But what," asked one of the mys
tified listeners, "could the gold stand
ard have to do with the capture ct
Aguinaldo?"
"Don't you see," said tho excited
talker, "that Funston was after the
yellow boys?"
The Automobile,
"Will the automobile become a
permanent fad?"
"Doubtful. See how men, outside
of scorchers, even, were bent on rid
ing the bicycle at first ; and look at it
now."
Clear out of Key.
"Lucv. where'a that other tall bean
you used to have?" '
"Laws, Miss Nancy, I done went
back on dat man ; he didn't have no
taste at all. Dut man wnr silver
shirt studs when he had a gol front
1 O 1
loot",
Dowa In the Stogie Belt
Visitor Do you ever have any
smoke consumers in Pittsburg?
Pittsburger Yes; each resident
consumes his own share.
Ht Appreciated th Warning.
"If I see vou coine into a saloon
again I will discharge you. Do you
understand?" vv
"Yes, sir.- I'll wait until after
dark before I go in again. "