Southern Oregon miner., June 15, 1950, Image 2

SO UTHERN OREGON NEWS REVIEW
Thrifty to Moke
BROADWAY AND M A IN STREET
This Guy Khrustalev Must Have a Lot of Crust,
Making Fun of Poor Old Joe Stalin That W ay
By BILLY ROSE
Generalissimo Joseph V Stalin
Chairman, Council of Ministers
Krem lin, Moscow, U. S. S. R.
Dear Joe:
exploded nothing but giggles Tim e
magazine reprinted the item as a
gag, m y chorus g irls threatened to
picket the Russian consulate, and
the syndicate which handles my
s tu ff picked up a few more papers
A L L OF WHICH should have
taught yo u r word-wasters a lesson,
but it d id n 't.
A few d.i>s -igo.
someone m a ile d me the February
issue of your magazine, Novy M ir
(New W o rld ', and—io and surprise!
—in it was an a rtic le by one P.
K hrustalev which, by way of docu­
m enting the degeneracy of A m er­
ican culture, described me as “ a
gangster w ith three chins” who
“ m urdered a man and grabbed his
c a p ita l."
/ took this. I assure you. as a
plaudit rather than a potshot.
On your way up, as I get it. you
knocked off a couple of hanks
yourself, and since have undoubt­
edly knocked off an opponent or
three. Khrustalev. it was evident,
meant to he complimentary when
he word-painted me in the image
of Soviet Citizen .No. 1.
A ll kidding aside, though, don't
you th in k it's about tim e you sent
fo r your ty p e w rite r assassins and
pointed out that th e ir releases are
getting m ore howls than hosannas?
And w hile you're at it, you m ight
point out that Joe Goebbel's theory
—the bigger the lie the more apt it
is to be believed—only works w ith
people who desperately want to be­
lieve the lie.
One1 thing m ore: I fra te rn a lly
suggest you keep an eye on this
K hrustalev fellow who said I had
three chins. Such a man, in a re ck­
less moment, m ig h t describe his
p re m ie r as having tw o heads.
Sincerely.
B illy Rose
King T ut's Sandals
Still In a stntc ot perfect con-
servutlon, n pair of leather soled
sandals, painted and embossed io
gold, w ere found in the tomb ol
Tutankhamen in Egypt. Painted
on the Inner soles were figures ol
traditional enemies, Syrians and
Libyans, "on whom the King
trod” .
Farm Fish Ponds
F a rm fish ponds are gaining
widespread p o p u la rity, and m any
thousands of these impoundments
To Women With
of a ll sizes have been b u ilt during
Sporting his
W H IT SA Y?
the past few years. Methods were
firs t new hat In 50 years, F ra n k
Nagging Backache
developed In A labam a fo r Increas­
E. G im le t!, fam ous h e rm it of
ing fish production In ponds by
A rbor V illa , Colo., and advo­
Aa a t »at oldar, alraaa »nil »train. ovar-
the use o f co m m e rcia l fe rtiliz e r. It
cate of a re tu rn to the gold
aiartlon, aai-naalva anioklns or aipoaura to
now is possible fo r a southern fa rm ­
standard, shows how he re­
m id attiuaUmaa »low» down kliluay luna­
er to raise 250 pounds of fish per
tion T ill» may l»ad many l«lka 1» o"™
gained control of his speech
plain ol nagging barkarha. loo ol pap and
acre of w ater in a year. Thia Is
after suffering a stroke last
anargy, baadai-baa and dlaalnaaa. G atlins
com parable to the production of
February.
up night» or lrat|Uanl |>aaaagaa may raault
livestock on an acre of good upland.
from minor bladdar Irritation» dua to cold,
danipnaaa or dlalary Indlaeratlona.
Although yields m ay be somewhat
I I your dlacomlorta nra dua to th«aa
low er in the N orth, owing to the
This Is
rauaaa. don't « a lt, try Doan'» I'llla, a mild
shorter grow ing season, the pond
diurvilc. liaad au<-r«aalully by million» lor
uvar 60 yaara W blla lhaaa aympioma may
Your Paper
m ovem ent is gaining ra p id ly in that
oltan olharwlaa urrur, It*» amaalng how
region.
many tlraaa Doan'a glaa happy rail»!—
Ill-Ip Iha 16 mllaa ol hldnay tuba» and Itllara
Ponds are useful not only fo r fish
tluah out waala. Gat Doan'a I'llla tudayl
productioin but fo r stock w ater and
domestic ducks and geese. Some
fa rm e rs have made th e ir ponds
sm all w a te rfo w l sanctuaries where
; w ild birds are decoyed by tam e
ducks and fed d u rin g the fa ll m l-
By W illiam R. Nelson
’ gration.
P U B L IC IT Y chairm an of a
Fish ponds are kept free of leafy
pro m in e n t c iv ic group rushes vegetation by deepening the m a rg i­
breathlessly Into the newspaper nal areas. Food fo r young fish is p O K HER best dress! it's a
simple pattern and easy to
office, her face a picture of w orry.
memorize -skirt is straight tubu­
“ I hope you w ill fo rg ive m y be­
lar piece; top, easy crochet too! i
ing late w ith our news, but I sim p ly
w o o
forgot w hat day this is ." she ba-
S h e 'll be ao p rou d o f h e r new c ro e h e ie d
gan. “ I ju s t have to get this an­
f io ik !
P u ite r n 7S38 lie » d lre c llu n a foi
with whit* lia r end h o i*
■ lir a 2. 4. «1
nouncement into the paper.”
KELLOGG
S VARIETY
S end 20 re n te In c oin , your nam e
In a m etro-
PACKAGE
o re » * -'I'd u u tte tn n u m b er to
Deadline
politan
news-
• Lovely ■»!viTwitr«' w ith
Is
paper o f f i c e
your own ec-nut m il it» I.
H ew ing C lr e le N e e 4 l* * r a f t D «p t.
O
ld C o m p a n y Plat»? m a d e
Deadline
nothing
could
I*. O . H a« »710 C h ir a c « HO. Il l e r
I*. O. II» » K t . Old I h rla e » M a llo n ,
a n d g i i i t r a b y W in .
be done to help
N ew Y « rh I I . N . V.
H o fe r* M fg.(
M u rid m .
her. Deadline is deadline there. But,
E n c lo se 20 c e n t* fo r p a tte rn .
Conn. W ith spoon*, you
in the home town paper o ffl.'e it
gut prio** on complete
•er vice—offered by . . .
is sometim es d iffic u lt to be so rig id
Kellogg’« VAMIKTY o f 7
about deadlines. In the hypothetical
cereal delight* . . . 10 j[en-
Instance cited, let us assume an
e ro u * b o iv a . D eliciou s
exception is made. Here is what
anytime!
would probably happen.
BOY O’BOY/ POP'S RIGHT/
The breathless chairm an would go furnished by the m inute fre e -livin g
her way m uch relieved. Although plants and animal» that m u ltip ly
MAKES
in
fe rtilize d
water.
received a fte r deadline tim e, her abundantly
THINGS
RUN
organization's news w ill be in the These pond areas usually are
By Richard H Wilkinson
LIKE N E W /
fenced against grazing to prevent
paper, as usual.
S IN D T O D A Y I
At the newspaper, however, the ¡siltin g . The im m ediate m a rg in o f!
K«4l«oo*i.D«p» FF,Wollln<i<©*4,Conn««»l<t4
ch a irm a n 's tardiness has precip­ i the w ater cu sto m a rily is kept cle a r i
“ W hat's happened?” Warren
// • p V E R Y M A N .” said Inspector
Please tend in««
. . . *‘Si|fnnturo” U»a-
itated a chain reaction of upset to make fishing easier and to keep I
barked at Fargo, ignoring the
jEi Joe W arren, fro w n in g over
•p oo M with following in it ia l............
the
im
poundm
ent
from
collecting
|
schedules
th
a
t
w
ill
affect
v
irtu
a
lly
Incoherent babble of Mrs. Dev­
For each unit aet of 1 apoone. I en­
the le tte r w hich he held in his
By IN E Z G ER H AR D
leaves and brush. However, plant- ! Ie ri
close 1 white «tar end from Kellogg’*
every m em ber of the staff.
r C m «
onshire.
hand, “ has a weak point. In the
VAMKTY
i * a < k a <. b and 1M in coin.
,
DONALO
O N ALD COLM AN has emerged
An ed ito r w ill have to handle an­ ings of conifers and shrubs m ay be |
" It 's gone,” F argo grated. “ About
_ case
of
‘The
used
on
the
watershed
or
in»ide
the
I
Nom*. . •
so com pletely fro m professional
Flash? m ost d a r­ an hour ago. I was standing behind other news story. One or m ore item s
(fence of the pond area itse lf Musk-
(pi«o»« p«W«f)
re tire m e n t th a t nobody would be
ing c rim in a l of M rs. Devonshire in the reception already in type w ill have to be ! rats must be excluded from fi»h j
Addr««« .
shortened
to
make
room
fo
r
the
surprised if he returned to his firs t
this c ity ’ s c r im i­ line. Someone poked a gun in my
ponds as there is not food fo r them ,
love, the stage, where L ilia n Gish
. Z o n e .. . S lo t * .. • • • •
C ity.
nal histo ry, it ap­ back and told me to w alk back­ late story. Type a lre -d y set w ill
and they would be a th re a . to dikes j
Otta» g o a d a*ly M U S . o a b y tl I
have
to
be
discarded
and
m
ore
discovered him years ago and had
wards.
When
I
saw
the
fellow
's
pears to be van-
<»e»«f
f
a
t
a l r o ÿ u l t t l tsrsi
i and dams.
h im engaged as her leading m an „ y .. He gestured tow ard the le tte r
face I knew it was The Flash, be­ set. Page dum m ies w ill have to be
Fish
ponds
should
not
be
stocked
1
In "T he W hite S is te r." His radio , . . j he fellow has becorne dru n k cause he was a dead rin g e r for altered. Lockup of page form s w ill
be delayed. P rin tin g and d is trib u ­ ¡in d iscrim in a te ly w ith m any kinds
show. “ The H alls of I v y , " Wednes- w ith hig success ¡n accom plishing m yse lf.”
of fish. Some of the highest yields
“ A rin g e r fo r y o u !”
W arren tion w ill be o ff schedule.
tw o outstanding robberies. And
This probably have been obtained by stocking
now he has taken to w ritin g us le t­ gasped. “ What the d e vil do you
Couse
e x a g gerated new ponds w ith 100 largem outh
ters, sta tin g ju s t where he's going mean?”
of
e x a m p l e of black bass and 1,000 to 1,500 blue­
“ I m ean,” said F a rg o g rim ly ,
to be at a certain tim e and w hat he
Inconvenience w hat happens g ill fin g e rlin g s per surface acre.
"th a t his disguise this tim e looked
plans to do.”
The proper building and operating
when someone
He
D etective
F argo
blew
smoke like me. generally speaking
rin g s at the ce iling and evaded his forced me into a closet and cracked imposes late news upon the paper, of* a pond requires professional
me over the head. N a tu ra lly no is duplicated, even m ore disrupt- guidance. In m ost areas this can
c h ie fs eyes.
“ So fa r ,” he said, "he seems to one noticed th a t anything was hap­ ingly, whenever an advertiser fails be furnished by the soil conserva­
tion service. In some states the
have been p re tty successful in car­ pening, as M rs. Devonshire was ex­ to get copy to the paper on tim e.
As long as humans are prone to state conservation departm ent also
ry in g out his plans. This is the h ib itin g her em erald at the tim e.
forget, have accidents, or other­ provides assistance. B ulletins on
th ird le tte r w e've received.
“ Ten minutes ago 1 came to
wise be delayed in p e rfo rm in g du­ the subject can be obtained fro m
and
began
to
kick
on
the
door.
“ Each tim e The Flash has
ties, it w ill probably be necessary the Superintendent of Documents,
Devonshire opened it. I rushed
appeared where he said he
fo r stores and newspapers to occa­ I the U.S. D epartm ent of A g ricu ltu re ,
to M rs. Devonshire and discov­
would at e xactly the tim e de­
sionally accept such im positions. and the U.S. Fish and W ild life
ered th a t she had ju st missed
noted in his letters. And while
B ut these disruptions of necessary Service, a ll of Washington, D C.
her e m erald.— The Flash has
dvS iiaf
w e’ve stood id ly by he's com­
A A A
schedules w ill be m a te ria lly re­
outsm arted us a g a in !”
m
itte
d
his
crim
es
and
es­
Pip» fa n s a n d " m o k ln 'g -
RONALD COLMAN
duced,
no
doubt,
when
people
fu
lly
caped. W hat’s he up to this
W arren slumped w e a rily into a
am okors b o th fin d g r o e to r
realize what inconvenience th e ir Teach Them Young
sm oking |o y In c rim p cwt
chair.
tim e ? ”
•
day nights on NBC. was the firs t
tardiness causes.
K e lly DeBusk. Oklahoma state
Prlnco A lb e rt — A m a rlc o 'a
"T
o
m
o
rro
w
,”
he
groaned,
“
every
step. N ext came the h ila rio u s i “ The D evonshire p a rty ,” W arren
Whenever you have news or ad­ ! game and fish d ire cto r, has some
lo rg e a t-le llln g sm oking
U nited
A rtis ts
picture.
“ Cham- j growled. The tru th of F a rg o ’ s state- newspaper in the c ity w ill have the
to b a c c o l
ve
rtisin g fo r the paper, get it in thoughtful and Inspiring advice for
story.
I
t
w
ill
be
the
most
h
u
m
ilia
t­
pagne fo r Caesar,” his firs t film ' m ent scored h im . “ M rs. Devonshire
w ell ahead of the deadline. You sportsmen in last m onth's issue of
in three years. Colman is wonder- I is planning to w ear th a t valuable ing m om ent of m y life .”
w ill get better service, and have the Oklahoma Game and Fish
Fargo sm iled b itte rly .
ful as a double-or-nothing quiz con- em erald her husband brought her
the satisfaction of know ing that you News:
“ E ve ry man has his weak point,”
testant who runs his take up to a fro m Europe a m onth ago. The
Captain Eddie R ickenbacker says,
$40.000.000 ja ckp o t. Even the tai- ; Flash states in this le tte r that he he said. “ Yours seems to be did not impose upon the newspa­
p e r’s people.
j “ Sportsmen should teach beginners
ented p a rro t who plays “ C aesar" intends to steal the em erald and v a n ity .”
th e ir obligations as w ell as the
can’t steal scenes fro m h im —quite ' defies us to stop h im .”
pleasures a fie ld ” What are you
a feat!
F a rg o crushed out his cigaret.
LAST WEEK’S
teaching your boy? Y our neighbor's
“ Have you taken any steps to I
¡boy? O r your frie n d ’ s boy?
ANSWER
L ow ell Thomas, CBS newscaster, prevent the robbery?”
Have you told him of the m any
had quite a week recently. The
“ Fargo, as you know, the F lash’ s
| tim es you recognized lim its of
doctor le t him discard the crutches disguise is perfect. H e 'll appear at
QUO
□□□
creel and bag? Have you explained
he'd been using fo r seven months, th a t p a rty as a guest, or servant
□□□a □□□□
¡to
h im the im portance of habitat?
ever since he was throw n fro m a or someone w ith whom the Devon-
22.
Secular
□aaou
boque
3
The
shank
ACROSS
□a uuou □□□ I Have you taught him to see beauty
horse w hile tre k k in g through Tibet. shires are but s lig h tly acquainted.
24. P ut
(A n a t.)
1. Indian
□no uoaa □□
in the dogwood, redbud and sage
through
And his son was m a rrie d , w ith I w ant you to go up there early.
4. Fossil resin
(P eru)
□□□□ ooaaau
a sieve
5. P a rt of face
brush? Is he attracted to the rip p le
Thomas as the best man. The
5. Crowds
□ou
□□□
27. Fate
6. Finnish
of w ater, the song of the brook or
beautiful wedding took place in a
9. A rule o r
naaauo
□□□□
29. Bowl
seaport
standard
ch a rm in g church in Greenwich,
the ch irp in g o f the birds? Is he ac­
□a aaoa uao
underhand
7. Vehicles
10. In cite
□aa auca □□
Conn. James M elton sang.
quainted w ith the woods and w ild - I
30. S tirs up
(P a in ts)
11. Bush
□□ bud uciaun
life?
31. Abounding
8. Severe
□□un --
12. Norse god
Have you passed over q u ie tly o r i
Jan S te rlin g ’s standing at
in news
11. Male deer
□□□
14. Tungsten
ever om itted references to yo u r j
P aram ount was
boosted so
33.
P
rim
a
ry
(abbr.)
(p i.)
own unguarded mistakes? Docs the
color
high by audience reaction to
15. God of
boy know w hat sportsmen th in k of
35. Weep con-
her w ork in “ United States
nickname
earth
potshooters” ? Have you told him :
vulsively
42 C ity
16. Insect
M a il" and “ Union S tation,”
(E g y p t.)
of
the c rim e of deer hunting at
(N
B
ra
zil)
36.
Peevish
19.
Sleeveless
17.
A
nger
when they were shown at
45 A tte m p t
night? O r d yn a m itin g streams? Of
37. Around
g a rm e n t
14. Old wine
sneak previews, th a t she was
46. W itch
38. Become
bArab.)
b a itin g duck ponds?
cup
given a top assignm ent in
m ature
48. Pen point
21.
Male
cat
Does he understand th a t a game i
10.
C
ity
(V
t.)
“ Ace in the Hole.”
N o. fin
23. T alks
ranger, a servant of the people,
1
7
B
25. Gazelle
4
s
2
«
1
2
would welcome his sincere coopera­
Mona Freem an has been w or­
(T ib e t)
1
1
tion? Have you emphasized to this
A. 1 Baynnlda Tobacco Oa.. Wlnalon Balam, M. 0,
rie d ; she's so little and looks so
26 Edible
IO
7
boy th a t a game law vio la to r is a
The choice, n a tu ra lly m ild tobacco selected for Prince
m ollusk
young that she feared she’ d never
thief.
28. C ity ( It.)
»1
Albert is specially treated to insure against tongue bite. And
get roles where she could look her
12
<1
Does
he
know
th
a
t
game
is
cost­
The b u tle r’s face was white
32. In place o f
age—25. " I could ju s t see m y
crimp
cut Prince Albert gives a fresh, full-flavored smoke right
ly and valuable? T h a t fish are a
34. Center
and draw n.
daughter grow ing up,” said she,
ta
17
IS
p*
down to the bottom of the humidor-top tin.
luxury?
W
hat
are
you
yourself
do­
3 5. Broadcast,
“ And going to the movies w ith a
ing fo r game a id fish besides h a r­
as seed
20
SIAOW
2»
u
boy frie n d , pointing to a bobby- m eet M rs. D evonshire when she
18
vesting some o f it?
39. A rch
comes
down
stairs
and
stick
w
ith
soxer on the screen and saying
40.
Sphere
%
I
A
A
A
2&
ZA
¿5
" T h a t’ s m y m o th e r’ ” , B ut now her u n til the last guest has gone.
41. Slope
M ona's happy; she looks her age Then see to i t th a t the em erald is
The Bass
U
f
i
43. Pronoun
stored away in a safe before you
3<
3«
2«
25
z*
In “ B randed.”
44.
SU11
a
t
a
leave. I ’l l have Johnson and a
Bass can be tru ly called A m e r­
fa ir
couple of other men m in g lin g w ith
I
ica’ s game fish, fo r m ore than any
V4
25
47.
F
low
er
S tew art G ra n g e r is going to be the guests.”
other m a jo r fresh w ater ro am er
W A
49. Reliable
stuck in costume pictures fo r a
they o ffe r unexcelled sport to •
»
IT
»•
50.
Am
erican
T 11 O'CLOCK on the nig h t of
long tim e to come. M-G-M was de­
f//J
great num ber o f men, women, boys
Indian
the
Devonshire
p
a
rty
Inspec­
%
lig h te d w ith his perform ance in
41
4«
Ao
and g irls in the m ost widespread
«
51. R iver of
to
r
W
arren
drew
his
roadster
up
" K in g Solomon’ s M ines,” and w ill
Hades
te rrito ry .
////
before
the
p
a
la
tia
l
mansion
and
now tu rn h im into a swashbuckling
4«
47
45
4«
AA
(m y th .)
Bass live in a good m any places
ascended
the
steps.
hero. He w ill do "R o b in s in C ru­
52. Seizes
////
where the spotted tro y t cannot sur­
W
arren
stepped
q
u
ic
k
ly
inside.
soe,”
“ Ivanhoe,”
in
full-blow n
44
J / , So
vive because of the high tem pera­
DOW N
Technicolor, follow ed by th a t old And at th a t m om ent M rs. Devon­
ture of the w ater.
f
a
f
a
shire,
accompanied
by
her
husband
1. Brutish.
S2
fa v o rite ,
“ Scaram ouche,”
and
5*
Several m illio n anglers ye a rly
«ano In 'O r a n a O la O pry*,
then w ill don u n ifo rm fo r K ip lin g ’ s , and D etective Fargo, came fly in g
2 Likewise
v is it our lakes and streams.
Saturday NlgAta a * NSC
down
the
stairs.
not
“ Soldiers Three.”
It I m ay be so bold. I ’d like to ca ll your attention to a m a tte r w hich
Is no laughing m a tte r, even though i t ’s been getting a lo t of laughs
lately.
N am ely, the recent effo rts o f your propaganda boys to w in
friends and influence people in this p a rt of the w orld.
Take, fo r instance, la st w in te r's
lollapalooza about how your engi­ said one of them. •'L e i them th in k
neers were nudging
they invented gunpow der." Some
m ountains
w i t h gna«— —
issues la te r, the same periodical
u ranium . We de­
ran another captious cartoon in
generate
d e m o-
w hich several P o litb u rocra ts were
crats, whether you
debating the question, "S h all we
know it o r not, are
invent television now or w a it u n til
a fact-m inded peo­
they p e rfe ct color?”
ple who th riv e on
As another, and a d m itte d ly pica­
details When a fe l­
yune, exam ple of what I'm getting
low says he's N a­
at. le t me te ll you about m y own
poleon we w ant to
experiences w ith your editors and
see his b irth c e rti­
copyw riters.
Billy Kose
ficate,
and when
Ft'dry now and occasionally, at
he's atomized an
<•
soma idle-eye in your press divi­
A lp we want to see the hole in the
sion has apparently noticed, I
ground.
take a playful poke at your re­
Then there were the recent hum ­
gime in my column— an etenl
dingers which claim ed that every
which certainly doesn't figure Io
doodad from the wheel to the fly ­
precipitate a crisis of state. But
ing saucer had been invented by a
instead of filing it in the waste­
Russian. Now, I c a n 't doubt that
basket and going about their
m any an im p o rta n t idea has been
business, your name-callers bat e
hatched between the C arpathians
twice made the mistake of an-
and the U rals, but when your prop­
su ering back — and both times
aganda m achine gives the rest of
with the finesse of a lumberjack
the w orld cre d it fo r nothing but the
trying to tat.
L in d y hop and the bubonic plague,
The firs t tim e, a year ago, both
a lot of folks who m ig h t otherwise Pravda and Izvestia reported I was
be frie n d ly begin to titte r —and a “ w hite slaver” and that m y
even your le g itim a te claim s get hum pty-dum pty little cabaret was
lost in the chuckle.
“ the biggest bordello in the w o rld .”
OUR MASS REACTIONS were And as if that w e re n 't enough, they
neatly summed up a few months went on to say th a t m y partners in
ago when The New Y o rke r ca r­ this enterprise were John Edgar
tooned a group of yo u r agents in Hoover and B ernard M. Baruch.
Well, as m ig h t have been ex­
China discussing policy. “ The m a in
pected, this bom bastic bom bshell
th in g is to handle them w ith ta c t,”
—
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