Image provided by: Ashland School District #5; Ashland, OR
About Southern Oregon miner. (Ashland, Or.) 1935-1946 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 1, 1949)
S outh ern Oregon News Review , Thu rsda y, Septem ber 1. 1949 m u u u t STIFF COLLARS, CUFFS TAKE ALL . . . Yours Truly, for More Flexible Shirt Tails By JOE MAHONEY . . . THE 'STARCH' OUT OF PHILLIPS By H I. PHILLIPS ‘NO STARCH' »/»i»HEY STARCHED m y shirts again,” we said to the wife. “ W ell, don't say it so accusing ly ,” she replied. “ I d id n 't do it. It's the la u n d ry ." "B u t the laundry has been told again and again not to put any starch in 'e m ,” we said. " I 'm a ll in from repeating the word 'No starch' to it , ” said the wife. "W hat does the laundry say?” “ It says *O. K .l No s ta rc h .'” “ And back it comes starched In technicolor, with the collars on summer shirts as hard as lawn-mower blades, and the cuffs so hard you have to but ton them with a chisel and hammer. Why don't we change laundries?” we moaned. “ H a h !” snorted the missus, GRACE NOLL CROWELL Z wz.' — The Everiasiing Arms . . t <■ ROUND me and about me and beneath me, Closer than breathing, closer than any friend, The everlasting arms draw near to shield me, To comfort and to keep me to the end. k "Change 'em and what do you get?" “ More starch,” we suggested. “ E x a c tly ! The laundries or the laundry workers are in a great national conspiracy in re stra in t of soft collars and cuffs. They are In a secret society dedicated to the use of starch. T heir m otto is ‘Y ou'll take starch and like i t ! ’ " • • • I wake each morning in their blessed keeping, I rise to serve, or wait his blessed will. Life passes—whether waking, whether sleeping, G od’s everlasting arms will hold me still. VIDEO AND EDUCATION College courses by television are now being announced. We suppose the grads w ill win Iceboxes instead of diplomas. -----* ----- And get m inkskins Instead of sheepskins. We can see it a ll now . , . the baccalaureute by Howdy Doody. _ But a lot of people have felt that our educational system flickered too m uch as it is. -----* ----- Personally we feel that edu cation hasn't been dramatic enough. A jackpot could have helped us through ancient his tory. And we are positive that we would have done better under our professors if they had Introduced puppets In t h e Latin, French and mathemat ics courses. starch* on my shirts for years,” we said. The laundryman looked sur prised. ”1 can’t remember that,” he said. “Are you sure they came back starched?” “ Look at my neck. You think those red circles are from rope?” we demanded. • • • “ Some laundries are careless, you know how it is. W ith us when a custom er says no starch he gets no starch. We got a system .” “ What is it? ” “ We have a starch departm ent and a no-starch departm ent. All the s tu ff that don’ t w ant starch goes to the starch departm ent. Also we got a starch superintend ent and a no-starch superintendent. And on top of that we got starch and no-starch classification clerks and inspectors. Here's something else, we don’t use m uch starch anyhow, even if you ask for starch.” “ So these shirts w ill come back w ith no starch then?" “ You can take m y starch—beg pardon—m y w ord fo r it.” “ P o sitively no s ta rc h !” "P o s itiv e ly !” The laundry came back in a few days. We felt confident and -ft “ I know ,” called the wife, look ing out. “ S ta rc h !” “ S ta rch ," we u dinittcd. craw ling from the shrubbery, cut and bleed ing. • • • We resolved to investigate. We spread our shirts among d ifferent laundries. Our routine was the same at each laundry. "Does this laundry do shirts w ithout starching them ?” we asked. “ C ertainly. A ll you gotta do is specify you don't want no starch, m is te r." " I so specify. Do you w ant it in w ritin g ? " "N aw . I ' l l put a note on it ’no sta rch .' Then it goes through and comes out w ith no sta rc h ." •‘I ’ve been putting notes 'no 5- .T3? Earthly arms grow weary in their holding, Earthly arms may fail the weight they bear, But oh, these everlasting arms, enfolding, Have never one brief moment failed me there. carefree as we opened It. Then we leaped through the second story window. ---+--- We ju s t had to get an education, such as it was, by study. We had no outside aerial. But now we are entering an era when ignorance m ay be easily a t trib u ta b le to the fact that the set was connected up poorly and lacked a "booster.” • • • Your education may become a little dependent on fuses and you may find that your tow scholarship resulted from a small screen. Ira H irschbaum , fo rm e r educa tion and now a video o ffic ia l, makes the announcement th a t Hunter college w ill make the fir s t tests in video education, w ith his- to ry the firs t televised subject. Lectures on h isto ric events w ill be synchronized w ith the picture, the cash prize on the com m ercial. Fiction ON BUSINESS By Richard H. W ilk in s o n Corner By INEZ GERHARD pRETTY ROSEMARY P E T T IT * thinks she’s ju s t like any A m e ri can g irl; had no exotic birthplace fo r Hollywood to make a fuss about—she was bom in Tulsa, Ok- la. She went to high school and college, one year, in C alifornia, where she lives. She had to go tc New Y o rk fo r Hollywood to dis cover her and take her back for bits in M ichael C urtiz productions. X ROSEMARY PETTIT She returned to New York to study, went back again, re a lly ready foi film s this tim e. You w ill see hei in W arners’ “ The Lady Takes a Sailor,” and la te r in C u r t i z ’ “ Young Man w ith a H orn,” for w hich she’ s ju s t gone west, a fte r a season in sum m er stock at P rince ton, N. J. Paul Henreid, seen cu rren tly Ir. Param ount’ s “ Rope of Sand,” w ill be long rem em bered fo r his ap pearance as the fa m ily counselor on “ The Second M rs. Burton” Aug ust 31. V ita lly interested in doing w hat he can to fu rth e r the conquer ing of polio, H enreid’s own experi ences when a m em ber of his fa m ily was struck by the disease gave h im touching m a te ria l fo r his talk. Joan C ra w ford ’s six-year-old son, C hristopher, believes that his m other is the bravest wom an in the w orld. So does Joan. D uring her vacation in the w ilds she caught six lizards fo r him , put them in a box and brought them home. Helen Hayes returns to radio’s “ E le c tric T heatre” Oct. 9 in "The B a rre tts of W i m p o l e Street” ; m eanwhile she and her daughter M a ry are doing a new play fo r six weeks in sum m er stock; i f good enough they w ill do i t on Broad way. 12-year-old Jam ie, last m em ber o f the fa m ily to become an actor, has appeared in "T he Com Is Green” —once in a p a rt a ll w r it ten in Welsh! H EN DOUG P R IN G L E signed contract to illu s tra te stories fo r M idweek F ic tio n magazine at a fig ure th a t surpassed any amount he had earned in the ra th e r uncer tain past, he fe lt th a t he had reached a m ile stone in his ca Minute reer. “ N ow ,” he de Fiction clared to his w ife, A g g ie , "w e can begin to have a few of the things we’ve been doing w ithout fo r the past seven years.” “ And the fir s t thing we’ll have” Aggie told him , “ w ill be a nice little camp on Spur Lake where you can w ork am id surroundings that you love and where, accord ingly, things w ill be easier fo r both of us.” "T h e cam p,” he told her g ravely, •‘ w ill come Im m edi ately a fte r M rs. P ringle has replenished her w ardrobe.” I t turned out th a t Aggie could have her new clothes and they could purchase the cam p and not feel too extravagant. They went up to Spur Lake the fo llo w in g week and talked to a real estate agent. They had been there m any tim es before. They knew ju s t w hat they wanted fo r a camp site and where they wanted it. T hat afternoon the real estate agent made the easiest sale he'd transacted in years. The Pringles sat down and made up a schedule of guests fo r week ends. They wanted to have com pany. This was the fir s t tim e they had live d in a place big enough to hold guests conveniently. They were eager to share th e ir posses sion. And so two weeks la te r the firs t guests a rrived. Doug and Aggie slept in the w ork room and every thing was fine. A ll hands had a swell tim e. The guests departed in high enthusiasm. In fact, th e ir en thusiasm apparently bubbled over, fo r in the m iddle of the follow ing week some friends dropped in who had “ heard so much about the cute little camp the Pringles had bought.” Aggie and Doug asked them to stay over n ig ht and they did. The sum m er hadn’t progressed very fa r when Doug decided they ought to tu rn the present w ork shop Into another bedroom. “ I ’ll build a studio fo r m yself down by the lake. It seems there are a lot of people who are just dying to see our cute little camp. Gosh! A fte r all. I ’m a w orking m an.” I t ’ s fun having guests, though,” Aggie said. “ Sure,” Doug agreed. W a So the Pringles b u ilt a studio fo r business." Doug, a ra th e r a ttra c tiv e building The Hollands were disappointed th a t added to the general outlay. at not being able to see the a rtis t He moved into it w ith a il his equip at work, but there was nothing m ent—and the next week-end Ag they could do about it. They de gie moved in w ith him . parted shortly after. In August the Hollands ar A t dinner tim e Doug came home. rive d . The Hollands were bores. He was in high spirits. Steve Holland belonged tc “ I ’ve found ju s t the place 1 Doug’s g olf club. They were wanted. A room rig h t In the friends of some of the Pringles* heart of Goodwin’s business friends. d is tric t. Plenty of noise and T JO W E V E R , they a rrived and dust—a place where a man can M rs. H olland spied the studio do a real d ay’s work w ithout and wanted to look at it. Aggie being bothered.” sm iled w ea rily. She was getting used to this sort of thing. She led Aggie sm iled fondly. them down to Doug's workshop and "T he Brants are a rriv in g tom or M rs. Holland peeked inside. ro w .” “ Why, there's no one th e re !” she "S w e ll!” said Doug. “ Show them exclaim ed. the works and te ll them I ’m away Aggie nodded. "D oug’s away. On —on business.” CROSSWORD PO H lf ACROSS DOWN 1. Fuel 1. An a rtic le o f v irtu 6. S trike 2. Pungent w ith the vegetable hand 3. C u ttin g 9. W avy tool (H e r.) 4. Confederate 10. A weed general 11. A w a rd 5. Porticos 12. Forebodings 6. Young 14. C ity sheep (B ra z il) 7. Region 15. R iver 8. D ream ily (W . Ohio) th o u g h tfu l 16. C ity 11. Lever (N . Y .) 13. A fragm ent 19. B iblical 15. Crooked character 20. Some i z • 21. Bestow 23. Rail 9 26. Removed, as II bones 27. Em ploy 14 28. T a lk 29. Ahead 16 30. Free from uncertainty 34. Very beautiful /z /y 24 ZS 23 young man Z7 37. Constellation 38. Lukewarm Z9 39. C ity (Mass.) 36 41. A contest o f speed 18 42. A home o f bees 41 43. Vehicle w ith 1 as tunners 44. Book of Old Testament LAST WEEKS ANSWER _ ■ 17. V a rie ty o f □ cabbage I QE 18. Conclude □□□ 21. Desert □□□ bqljq (A s ia ) 22. A t home 23. Yourlg hog □□□ □□□□□ □□□□ □ 24. Ashes □□□□ □□□□ 25. Gold (H er.) I □□□ □□□□ 26. Club 28. Fuel 30. Agreed w ith A m w r r to p a u le No. I I another 31. A burst o f 35. Precious shouts from stone the crowd 36. C ity (F r.) 32. Liberates 39. Chinese s ilk 40. P o int 33. Sweet potato ONE A FTER N O O N , WHILE P l AVINO RK' j HT FIELD FOR EM tW O tl. TV COBO THRI W OUT THRI E M I N AT FIRST H A S E ? SPORT LIGHT. Teams Fall for Michigan 'Pitch' By GRANTLAND RICE. T i N ’ f THERE tom e way tom eone * can tp ill bim? h n 'l there to m t way one can ¡lop him.1 h n 'l there tom e u a y one can b ill him? h n 'l there some way one can dro p him? h n 'l there tom e way tom eone can ¡how him He tk o u ld be placed in hit latl, final retl? h n 'l there tom eone— one who m ight kn ow him T o prove w ithout doubt he't the w orld') greatett petl? Red Blaik will have a fine Army team. It will he ably coached and dirreted. But II will have In he something ex tra to invade Ann Arbor and return with a Wolverine hide. Look at that Michigan backfield —C harley O rtm ann and Leo Ko- ceskl—the b rillia n t 220 pound D ick Kem pthorn — Teninga and Tom Peterson—these and m any others. W ill Minnesota w ith its pow erful line fin a lly retu rn to the Big Ten’s top? What about the re vivin g West Coast, determ ined to slip back into the big picture? C alifornia, U. S. C „ Stanford, Washington, UCLA and Oregon—a ll stronger? What about the re viva l of the Iv y League, headed by C ornell and Dartm outh? This 1949 season can be the a ll-tim e peak. • • • Summer, Smoke and Football ' ®^r ' ’Ienncssce W illiam s, an cm l- ’ nent d ra m a tis ‘ . 80me tim e ago de livered an e p i c [ known a s “ Sum 1 m er and Smoke.” ! We’11 m a k e this epic "Sum m er, Smoko b a ll.” The STAGESCRE T ’ .v K ATM ETCS O f LONG AGO AT THE UNIV. OF ILLINOIS COMPETED FOR SUCH PRIZES AS A MUSTACHE CUP, A BATH TICKET OR A GROUP PICTURE OF THE FAC U LTY/ and Foot F o r It sud denly occurred to us that foot ball was j u s t Grantland Rice a r o u n d the corner and be fore any could guess what had happened, Michigan would be throwing p a s s e s again and heating teams 20 to 0 that were just about as good as Michigan. Which proves that it still pays to be smart. Michigan is al ways smart. And as long as the forward pass is legal, Mich igan will continue to throw for ward passes, dating from Ben ny Friedman to Charley Ort- Great Pitching In a season of rath er shoddy p itching where the average pitcher has only a vague idea of where the plate is located, we took a b rie f journey through years long under dust to see what past perform ances had to offer. In Juggling uround we ran across a com pilation by Tex O live r known as “ Kings of the M ound." In this review from the present to the long ago, O live r put together some of the most rem arkable feats of the game. For example, he gave high est rating for the year to Eddie Rommel, the umpire, hack In 1922. That year Rommel won 27 games and lost 13 with the Athletics, who finished seventh with one of the worst ball dub* on record. Oliver figured that any pilchcr who could win 27 games with the 1922 Athletics should wear an Oliver wreath studded with laurel blossoms. mann. Why m u r d e r running backs along the ground when you can pick up 55 yards on one pitch? Which brings to m ind the thought of what an am azing combination He gives his next ratin g to Jack M ichigan has in F ritz C risler, Chesbro in 1904, who won 41 games graduate m anager, and Bennie and lost 12. W alter Johnson runs Oosterbaan, head football coach. th ird in 1913, when Old Barney won C risler, a great coach on his own, 36 and dropped only seven w ith adds 15,000 to M ichigan's seating Washington, as rem arkable a rec ca pa city—g ivin g W olverine follow ord as one can recall. ers space enough fo r 100,000. Also The same Is true of Ed Walsh C risle r has already sold out his In 1908 with the weak hitting four big games—A rm y, Minnesota, While Sox. Walsh (hat year etc. fo r a 400,000 four-game total. won 40, lost 15 and saved nine And in the same in te rim Benny other games. Oosterbaan is sta rtin g w ith 22 le t Walter J o h n s o n won 23 term en this fa ll, plus a flock of games with the 7th plare Sena prom ising sophomores, to keep the tors in 1911 and Urban Faber Maize and Blue where it has been won 25 with the 7th place White fo r the last two years—at the top. Sox In 1921. □□□ □□□□□ □C BQQ d T p iH X d T — By Harold Arnett □□□ □□□! 3 4 1 4 6 7 1 8 )O % iZ •3 16 »7 >0 I» Z° 11 only • • PL A C IN G A B U TT O N IN THE B O W L O F A PIPE W IL L A ID greatly in youfz. smoking ENJO YM ENT. TH IS W IL L P R E VEN T SMALL PARTICLES OF TOBACCO FROM ENTER IN G THE PIPE S TE M , THUS KEEPING THE TOBACCO DRY A N D M E L L O W . THE BUTTON IS HELD ABOVE THE BOTTOM O F THE BOWL, WHICH IS OFTEN DAMP WHEN THE PIPE IS IN USE 6UTFON - 24 mows 20 »<• S» SI • S7 PUZZLE NO. 14 w IS 40 i 4Z 44 sz k 1 WHEN USING A SAFETY ORZ?nDBLADE FOR S T R O P P ^g - BY OPEN I N r 5 ^ ° N V e N 'E N T L Y ^ C K E T K N IF E ^ a « 4^ ° F A 'N fig T* **>* SLOT B la d NeD CLOSE 4
