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About Jacksonville miner. (Jacksonville, Or.) 1932-1935 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 1933)
Th« Jacksonville Miner Pawe 2 The Jacksonville Miner raainnfi WWI'y LEONARD MAUDE HEWtRARCR graphs a luxury In cases like this? Why not avail yourself of the services of Hliaugln studios, where you cun have a good photograph made and stored for future use You owe It to your rainlly and friends. The service ia here you Dear Doc Wise: Where did the should use It! Sandwich originate? Mr. Head. The loss of a member of a fam Answer' In the Sandwich I x I hik I r ily la always great ho why not do of course. H htch one of the Head what little you can to lighten their brothers are you. Pin, Sup. Hone or burden? See us now Sliungto studio, Fat? (adv) Dear Doc: Will you kindly ol plain why a black lien ean lay u In filling out a quest loiitialru. only while egg. while it la tin possible SI per cent of the students of a for a white lien to lay a black egg? Kills college Hinted thit they had - II. S. Quii. never been kissed That's a fairly Answer: See Prof Einstein's new good record for this bunch of girls, bonk on "Relativity," chapter 13. we suppose that 69 per cent of puge 41. for full explanation of thia tlieni are truthful — Thomaston hetionienon. I Ga i Times. —». ■ ■ I tour Doc : Do you make enough The German state has solateli Eia money so that you can afford u ’a properly, hut lias lost his suit of clothes every day tn the ■telu mind when In danger of losing its week? Obadiah Oblique. own Weston Leader. Answer: Yes; I have them on ...... » .»■ now. Inflation Is just another one of those things which everybody ex Denr Doc: What ia the sweetest plains and nobody understands.— music in the world? Sylvester Thonuiston (Ga.) Times. Spitsbergen. < - Answer: The clink of American "When It comes to food for coin. thought,” according to The Jackson ville Minor, “there Is a lot of mal Dear Doc: When in your opinion nutrition in this country." But will the world come to an end?-— because the food Isn’t properly di F Z. 8. gested. Weston Louder. Answer: From computations found In the (lout's (Hund Grafter's Almanac. In the year 979.624.3K5 A. D., about 2 o’clock. Thanksgiving ■ ( JACKSONVILLE. OREGON OFFICIAL What would be an appropriate epi taph to have engraved on his bond stone? One not too long -C. D. Answer "He «hot square with his friends and got square with his enemies." OF JACKSONVILLE HALL FOOL.. Addrw« AU CoBwunleatte» te Rol IS* SubvrrlplkMì Rato* In Tier............. *1 00 BU Munis................*0< HMtfeunrtm TH« Nvocrr cosncmosKRT Tilinhone IS* The Editor Speaking (Continued from page one) lary seems to be the general sub stitution for curt, pertinent think ing. Tongues, and not mental strain, have been loosened on a helpless world. What a blessing it would be if the farm board could plow under every other row of blah tomorrow—and finish the job the next day. Another truism, revamped, is: You can drive a man to water, but you can’t keep him from (hie) drinking. “The choke's one you.' might have muttered the San Jose lynch mob Sunday. It has been the wrong set of r____ carriers ___ condemned in Ore public gon. Critics should forget the rail roads for a moment and do some thing about these disease-germ transporters, now with winter com ing on. Yes. the lynching of those two California murderers of Brooke Hart certainly hemp-ered their or- neryness. ESPECIAL CAUSE FOR THANKSGIVING One of these days we are going to break open our penny bank and spend the loot on gasoline enough to take us to Weston, Oregon, where Clark Wood spends his time digging Into Webster’s handbook and his type cases to heckle his cross-country pal. Olin Miller. -».-w Clark operates a hand-set weekly In the proximity of Pendleton, where he once was reporter on the East Oregonian. Miller, down south, hasn’t been classified by The Miner as yet, although he misguides a rather neat column entitled “Non sense Notions." Both have given na tional prominence to otherwise ave rage weekly newspapers. The goose wasn’t the only thing that hanged high in San Jose the other night, (We’ll make our point yet.) Two of them were cooked. ■Iso. 'w-»’ Some real estate dealers, lacking in milk of human kindness, attempt • to make a cottage cheese out of a prospect. There’s an Old Republican In Medford who seems to be in a con-1 «tant ffogge concerning the Young Democrats. Some do say he should be given a window to throw his Smudge Pot out of. George Hunt and his effervescent assistant (with apologies) Fino Hemmila put zippers on a Holly wood opening in Medford Satur-1 day evening. “Yowsuh, we shot the works and no mean firecrackers." added E. Hemmila, who wants the customers to come up and see him some time. By J. C. REYNOLDS Listen my children and you shall hear Of the battles we farmers fought this year And how in nineteen and thirty-three We won a notable victory. But then our system of warfare works Especially well in fighting Turks. These greedy tyrants, so rude and rough For months had stolen our garden-stuff; Our corn was raided and oats and wheat By hungry gluttons who live to eat; Choice melon-oatches were ruined too By evil-doers, who holder grew; And when we tried to object, the males Did nothing but spread their haughty tails And strut importantly round the place Gobbling vile insults at our race. But at last our outraged farmers rose In wrath to deal with these feathered foes; And grasping the weapons close at hand, Cleavers and axes, promptly planned A raid cm these tyrant buccaneers To put an end to their wild careers Intending, after they’d once begun. To slaughter .or capture every one. Quickly our battle lines were formed And Turk headquarters were fiercely stormed And many a chopping-block dripped red Prom the blood of a slain oppressor’s head; While those not thusly accounted for Were taken as prisoners of war; And from figures carefully verified There were no casualties on our side; Which :s why you see us upon our way To celebrate this Thanksgiving day. MILLER WHACKS WOOD Dear Doc: Can the word "dead" be used to describe any thing hi I which life is not entirely extinct? -Georgianna Gunirush. Answer Yea; we know a man who Is dend from hlN aolar-plexla both ways and yet alive and in good health. Also we find the word I "dead" often very nptly used by poet« as. for example: "She said Io her husband. 'My foot is HNleep.’ WHAT A WHALE OF A And he said. ’Come here Dear and let’s have a peep.' DIFFERENCE A LITTLE He took off her shoe. held his SHRINKAGE CAN MAKE! nose and then Raid, ’Your foot’s not asleep. * Dear, —That's Why the Pantorlum the darn thing is dead'.” Takes Pride In Ite Work! . I, . a...... (Continued from page one) signed agreement, the while licking his chops in delightful anticipation ' of having blue eagle pie for dinner, i Imagine his disappointment when the postmaster handed him a pic ture! The police department had Ito rail out the riot squad to control | Clark, and he jittered and mumbled for days and days about having PICTURE THIS been, as he termed it. "skunt out of a sho-nuff blue eagle.”—Olin The day is November 11th. j Miller in Thomaston (Ga.) Times. The Jones family la having a —•-------- — reunion. iiassea. A few weeks later AGONY COLUMN Mr. Time Jones passes away. The members of the fumlly then WHEN IN DOUBT, SUSPENSE, want photographs and after much CONFUSION. FEAR. PERPLEX investigation find tb«re are none. ITY, UNCERTAINTY OR BEWIL A daughter brings trt our studio DERMENT. CONSULT OLD a small snapshot to enlarge and DOCTOR B. S. WISE (The Medicine Man) All communications shoulde be nd- MEN’S SUITS DRESSES, up from • $1.00 80c PANTORIUM DYE WORKS 6th and Holly Phone 244 S. C. PETERS dressed to Dr. B. 8. Wise, Builville, Bunkum county, Arkansaw. (D.M.D.) I>ear Doctor: I am going with an awful nice young man. He tells me I he would get down on his kneea and die for me. Do you think 1 had better marry him? Innocent Imo gen. Answer: Before you accept him. find out if he will be willing to i get up on bis feet and work for you. Dentist Opposite Post Office Jacksonville Dear Doc: la it true as reported that President Roosevelt is a good physiognomist?—Luke Warm. Answer: Report has absolutely no foundation. He is either a Bap color in the hope we can reatorn tist or a Presbyterian; forget for her a picture of the father who which. was hero but a few short weeks ago. Dear Doc: A close friend of mine The moral here is: Aro photo- has passed out. He was a regular fellow in every sense of the word. man who hasn’t just had a front Things are brightening up for tooth pulled. the Blue Eagle. Paragraphe« are We never thought we’d like ton running out of things to say about HllllllllltHttlHI it. silitfs till we heard, the other day. Volume 1 JACKSONVILLE HIGH SCHOOL Number 9 that a radio crooner has been in The name Fanny just couldn't HIGH SCHOOL COOPERATION stay on a high plane for long. There capacitated because of it. DAY was too much lead in it. (An Editorial) The High Prospector Well, at last one technical term Published Weekly In Then there's the sad case of the has been solved: Radio frequency By ELIZABETH WHITE The Jacksonville Miner postmaster who refused to allow a undoubtedly refers to the manner A better name than "High Schoo) by Students of story concerning the raffling off of ! in which the instalments come due. Cooperation day” could not have Jacksonville High School a Grange quilt to go through the I been found for the high school mail because it “violated some ob-1 Still water rung deen. Maybe workday, Saturday, November 25.! Helen Lamb Editor acure anti-lottery regulation,” but that's why shallow people always Elizabeth White. Assist. Editor Students proved that they were who passed a newspaper without | make so much noise. Manager willing to work for their school ac Audrey Metzger comment that threatened blood- Re|*orters: Hannah Nunn, Grace tivities rather than to do without shed, revolution, anarchy and trea- Speaking of the femmes taking them. The Chamber of Commerce Hranarn, Grace Winningham, son. Vyrou Bostwick, Paul Hess, up with sugar daddies, we’d want ; rooms were crowded most of the Madeleine Metzger. it to be cmdy-coated too before j day with students willing to go out Pitifully enough, many loud- we could swallow some of those old If they were called, and some who speakers can’t be turned off w!th walrus’ lines. were not sent out were disap Along came a farmer in an auto a twist of the wrist. It has to be pointed. mobile, a direct thrust. If nudism keeps gaining, there’s As a result of the splendid co- And said “Oh boy! This will be a a lot of clothiers and tailors who’ll ; operation meal!” between the community Puns may be the lowest form of become disciples whether they like and high school students, enough humor, but then we have to have ft or not. money is now in the treasury to Hut then the turkey hid deep in some contrast in our column. some straw; There will now be a slight pause purchase warmups for the basket- When they tried to find him | ball boys. he The man who can smile is the for station denouncement. said “Haw. haw!’’ Jacksonville high thanks the community for their cooperation in But his haw-haws were turned to moans supplying students with work last ; Saturday, the High School Coop When the farmer found him and broke his bones. eration day. Jobs were supplied by Mr. and Mrs. Oscar Lewis, Mr. G. W. God ward. Mrs. W. J. Nee, Mr. Leonard THE PILGRIMS’ THANKSGIVING Hall. Mr. R. V. Martin. Mr. Otto (By Mildred Thompson, 7th Orade) Neidermeyer, Miss Ruth Currin, Vlas Edith Fenwick, Mrs. Florence When the Pilgrims saw all the Hunsaker. Mrs. C. P. Srnets, Mrs. things they would reap Edith Goodman, Miss Mary Hurst They knew then and there that It rind Mrs. Mary Norvell. all wouldn’t keep. The following made cash dona- So early one evening, when all 1 tions to the student body fund In work had ceased, , lieu of work: Mr. Lyman, Mr. Cody They decided to have a big Thanks and Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield. giving feast. • Cleaning and Preeelng Prlcee CONGER FUNERAL PARLORS Medford. Oregon The High Prospector <JÁÑÍJ Explosives A COMPLETE STOCK OF GELATIN AND OTHER TYPES OF POWDER CAPS and FUSE Available for Immediate Delivery Coleman’s Hardware We Sell for Cash and 8ell for Less Phone Jacksonville -i3 ♦ ♦ ♦ So a man they did send to their 5TH, 6TH, 7TH GRADE8 WRITE ---------------- POEMS THANKSGIVING friends, on the run, To tell of the feast and the holi- day fun; Mrs. Hunsaker’s English students in the fifth, sixth and seventh They said that the feast would be composing have been grades held In a week, Thanksgiving poems. All the verse To give all the hunters their game written was exceptionally good. time to seek. Two of the best appear below: The women and children had their THE TURKEY part to do (By John M. Salsbury, 6th Grade) In preparing the feast for that New England crew. There was an old turkey sitting Then the people sat down to the table so gay, on the fence, A big black turkey that had no To their first great feast on our Thanksgiving day. sense; • This new idee tn home lighting is io greet en improvement over method« commonly in use in the home that everyone ihould try oui thit new method et the first opportunity. A new type floor lamp fumithei either overhead room illumination, flooding the entire room with shadowier« light, or the conventional, shaded reading light, direct ed downward lor individual use ... or both room lighting and individual reading light combined. These lamps are now being made by many manufacturers and may be purchased at your dealer’s. This new idea in home light ing is a definite improvement. Why not try one in YOUR living room tonight. THE CALIFORNIA OREGON POWER COMPANY
