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About The Athena press. (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942 | View Entire Issue (April 20, 1917)
New Houston Hotel SIXTH AND EVERETT STS. Poop Blocks from Union Station. Under new management. AU rooms newly decorated. SPECIAL RATES BY WEEK OR MONTH Rates 50c. 75c, $1. $1.50 Per Day. 200 Rooms 100 Baths Near Both Depots AhsolutelT Fireproof Hotel Hoyt Corner Sixth and Hoyt Sts., Portland, Ore. Thoroughly Renovated & Decorated LOU HIMES, Manager. RATES: 76c to 12. SPECIAL Week or Month 10 CENT "CA8CARET8" FOR LIVER AND BOWELS Cure Sick Headache, Constipation, Biliousness, sour Stomach, Bad Breath Candy Cathartic WHEN IN SEATTLE TRY THE FRYE SEATTLE'S LARGEST HOTEL Only three blocks from Depots and Docks. Op posite City Hall Park and Court House. THE FINEST DOLLAR ItOOM IN AMERICA With detached bath, 1 person. 81.00 $1.60 2 persons, $1.60 12.00 With private bath, 1 person, 18.00 $2.60 $3.00 2 persons. $3.00 $3.60 $1.00 "When in Seattle Try the Frye" .LnIUCJl dim i ini'i ) HOTEL in die NORTHWEST1- j Eric V. Hauaer, President. ,550 m. 75 j-Anolher of America's Exceptional llolelslJM No odds how bad your liver, stom ach or bowels; how much your head aches, how miserable you are from constipation, indigestion, biliousness and sluggish bowels you always get relief with Cascarets. lney imme diately cleanse and regulate the stom ach, remove the sour, fermenting food and foul gases; take the excess bile from the liver and carry off the con stipated waste m'.tter and poison from the lntestlnea and bowels. ' A 10-cent box from your druggist will keep your liver and bowels clean; stomach sweet and head clear for months. They work while you sleep. Advt Unmoved. She got into a trolley car And hung onto a strap, The man Bat boldly in his plaoe, That she possessed a pretty face He didn't care a rap. For Real Musical Instruments in truest harmony. Made to see how rood they can be; not how much they will brinir. Violin, Mandolin, Guitar, Banjo, Ukelele. Slog-an: "If you don't find 'em better than any, send 'em back at our expense." 811 to 315 Labbe Bid., Wash. St., Portland. Ore, O FORD CARS Every Ford Car should carry one ex tra tire it save chantrfnff on the road, THE TWIN RIM fits both front and rear wheel. AoDlied in 6 mitr utes. Saves time, clothes, temper and religion. Price 16.50. Bent parcel post prepaid, upon re ceipt of price. 0RE00N VULGAN1ZIHQ CO., "The Tire Shoo." 333-335 Burneide Bt., Portland, Oregon "C. B." MINERS & CO. UNIVERSAL REPAIR and MACHINE SHOP AUTOMOBILE (.PAIRING AND REBUILDING. N, . COR. FIFTH AND QUMN ST!, PORTLAND, OR 100 V ITiie Murine after Exposure In Cold. Cutting Winds and Dust. It Restores, Refreshes and Promotes Eye Health. Good for all Eyes that Need Care, Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago, Bends Eye Book on request. SEED BEANS! SEED POTATOES! CASH PAID FOR RANCH FOGS, n AIRY BUTTER NO COMMISSION S. N. HEIDENREICH 74 Front St., Portland, Or. We Are Buyer of Veal, Hogs, Hides, Poultry, Eggs, Etc. Your shipments to u. will brinp to you prompt return, and boat possible price,, WRITE FOR SHIPPING TAGS. VALLEY PRODUCE COMPANY, 116 Front St., Portland, Oregon pi f T Veal, Pork, Beef, .NIH I jf Poultry, Flutter, i.ggt aaial ttllj Farm Produce to the Old Reliable Everdinir house with a raeord of 46 yearn of BqajN Dcnllngn, and be aaaured or TOP MARKET PRICES. F. M. CRONKHITE 4547 Front Street Portland. Oregon DERTHICK BROS. W. ). DIIRTHICK, Mgr. Wholesale Produce Merchants VEAL, HOGS, POULTRY. EGGS, BUTTER, HIDES, CASCARA, ETC. 103 Front Street. Portland, Ore. HIDE8, PELTS, CASCARA 8ARK, WOOL AND MOHAIR. We mnt ill you hue. Write tor prices end shipping legs THE H. F. NORTON CO, Portland. Ore.; Seattle, Wn. The cynic said, "Life's hard, Indeed, And theno be timet of special woe. I scarce believe one-half I read And hope tho other half's not no." Does Your Skin Itch and Burn? Or Is your appearance marred by patches of eruption? There Is no need of enduring such discomfort when Reslnol Ointment usually stops Itching at once and quickly makes the skin clear and healthy again. Doctors have prescribed Resinol Ointment for years in the treatment of skin affections. So you need not hesitate to use it, nor to recommend it to skin-tormented friends. Sold by all druggists. The Game Keeper. It was the morning after the night before and he was not In bed reach ing for a pitcher of ice water. He was behind the bars of the city prison and he gazed outside with a woeful look in his eyes. "Hey, there," he shouted, as he grabbed the bars. "I want to see the game keeper." "What do you think you are?" ask ed the turnkey. "This Is not a zoo, it's the city prison, as you will find out before you get out." Indianapolis News. You Car Get Allen' foot-Ease FREE. Write Allans. OlnuledJLo lioy, N. Y.,ior fri-o sample ol Allen's FoiH-Kilso, It euros sweating, hut swollen, Mainsteat. It niakus new or tight aboea easy. A coriiiiu euro for l'oiiih, Ingrowing nails and bunions. AUdnig giit.iiuHll. 800, lJou't aeceut any suhstltute, Premature. "1 had an Idea I'd grow up and own this business some day," said the dis charged office boy. "That's Just why you were fired," saiil the boss. "Ever since you Btarted to work here you've been acting as if you already owned the business." Birmingham Age-Herald. A Tryout. "What a delicate touch your son has on the piano, Mr. Jones." "It is delicate enough on the piano, Mr. Smith, but don't let him try It on you anywhere else." Baltimore American. ELECTRIC MOTORS Bought, Sold, Rented and Repaired WALKEIt miMJlaUj WUKKS Bumside, cor. 10th. Portland, Ore. LEARN "A TRADE. Gas Tractor and Auto mobile men are in demand. We ore rivhik a com plete course in both for the price of one tuition fair arinpfc timn nnlv. LxUzM class now uruduat Insrand have room for few more men. Catalog and details free. Hemphill's Trade Schools, 20th 4 Haffthwne roruand, uregon. WE WRECK AUTOMOBILES For their good parte. Parts at half price. We pon dnnllaan mont anv Dirt. We have wrecked over 100 different maftes of cars of recent date. If in need of any write to Auto Wrecking Co.. w North Broadway, Portland. Oregon. FRED P. GORIN, Patent Attorney. Omanizer and Developer. Patents secured or Fee Refunded. FREE, Toy X-Ray Plate; shows every hnn. in vour hodv riirht through VOUr clothinK. Suites 701. 701A, 701B, 701C. Central bldg., Seattle KTTrnY hruurkiwiincr. Hhorthand. telearanhv. salesmanship, Enalish branches, at an accredited school; write, or phone Main 590 for catalogue: graduates guaranteed positions. Behnke-Walker Business College, 167 4th Street, near Morrison, Portland, Oregon. A Natural Question. An Irishman went into a Jeweler's shop to buy a clock. The shopman showed him one for $10. 'Munlhor! Ten dollars for that bit of a clock? Is there anything wonder ful about it? 'Certainly," said the shopman, "that is an eight-day clock." And what's that? asked the pros pective purchaser. 'Why it goes eight days wituoui winding." So much as that? said the Irish man, scratching his head. "Begorra, there's wan thing I d like to be alter askln' you. If it goes eight days with out winding, how long, for the sake of St. Patrick, will it go if ye wind it?" Pittsburg Chronicle. TAKES OFF DANDRUFF, HAIR STOPS FALLING Sized Up. Friend What is tho first thing you do when a man presents himself to you for consultation? Doctor I ask mm If he has a car. Friend What do you learn from that? Doctor If he has one I know he is wealthy; and if he hasn't I know he is healthy. Buffalo Courier. Nothing Left. Lawyer Now, you must keep noth ing from me. Client I haven t. 1 paid you every cent I had lit the world for your re tainer. Boston Transcript. Real Optimism. "Still thinking of buying a little farm some day?" "Oh, yes," replied the optimistic flat dweller. "1 never Btlr the earth In my window boxes with a trowel that I don't dream of tho tlmo whon I will own a plot of ground largo enough to produce a whole can full of angle-worms." Birmingham Age-Herald. That Made it Soar. "You're full again and I'll send you up," said the bulloon owner who used to be a police court justice. Boston Transcript. Tough Luck. Mottersby Poor old Snowcrafl'B Christmas present from his wife isn't doing him any good. Gaffer--What wan it' Mottersby She gave him a loung ing coat anil from the time ho gets home to tho time he gocn to lied she keeps him on the hop. New York Globe. Object of Solicitude. Our dove of pence we lovo so dear When Bitting out upon a limb, And woe to any who draw near And try to take a shot at him! Washington. Star. "I guess tho old man will give us a good long spin tonight." "Yes, and the spin will have plenty of yarn in it." Baltimore American. WHOLESALE PLUMBING GOODS Auto Supplies Direct to You WRITE TODAY FLEMING PLUMBING SUPPLY HOUSE 112 Fourth St., Portland, Ore. I Do Your Own Plumbing) Br buying direct from in at wholesale price and save the plumber's protlta. Write us to day your nnada. We will give you our rock bottom "direct-to.you" prices, f. a b. rail or boat. We actually save you from 10 to 86 par cent. All goods guaranteed. Northwest headquarter, tor Leader Water Systems and Fuller & Johnson Krurinaa. STARK-DAVIS CO. Ill Third Sli.et. Portland. Or.foa P. N. U. No. 14, 1917 END STOMACH TROUBLE, GASE8 OR DYSPEPSIA "Rape's Dlapepsln" makes Sick, Sour, Gassy Stomachs surely feel fine In five minutes. If what you just ate is souring on your stomach or lies like a lump of lead, refusing to dlgeBt, or you belch gas and eructate sour, undigested food, or have a feeling of dizztnoss, heartburn, fullness, nausea, bad taste In mouth and stomach-headache, you can got blessed relief In five minutes. Put an end to Btomach trouble forever by getting a large fifty-cent case of Pape'B Dlapepsln from any drug Btore. You realize In five minutes how need less it la to suffer from Indigestion, dyspepsia or any stomach disorder. It's tho quickest, surest stomach doc tor In the world. It's wonderful. Weak Women! An Oregon Woman Testifies. Lents. Oregon. "When I was going through the critical time of middle life, I took several bottles of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription and it helped me wonderfully. 1 cannot say enough in favor ol this medietas. Have also used the 'Golden Medical Discovery' in my home for many years for lnauv different ailments." Mrs. Ella Harold. Ijents, Oregon. At tho first symptoms of any de rangement of the feminine organism at any period of life, the one safe, really helpful remedy is Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. Tens of thousands of women have taken it with unfailing success for diseases of a womanly nature. Dr. Pierce's Kavnrito Prescription is a true friend to women in times of trial and at times of pain when the organs are not performing their func tions. For headache, backache, hot llnslies, catarrhal condition, bearing down sensation, mental depression, dizziness, fainting spells, lassitude anil exhaustion, women should newt fui! to take this tried and true medicine. Pitparod from nature's roots nd herbs, it oontains no alcnhol or nar cotic, nor any harmful ingredient. Sold in either' tablet or liquid form. If your dealer does not keep tin- regMi coated tablets, send fitly cents ( in stamps) fur small box, or $1.00 in currency lor a large box. Write Doctor Pierce, Invalids' HM, liuflalo, N. Y., to-ihiy. 130 page bouk on woman's diseased sent Inc. Dr. Pierce's I'lenssni 1 diets nrt toe original Intle l.uer PJUs, These tiny, sugar-coated, anti-bilious granules tho smallest and the easiest to take. One little Pellet (or tv luiutive-tlmv lor a cathartic. Save your Halrl Get a 25-cent bottle of Danderlne right now Also stops Itching scalp. Thin, brittle, colorless and scraggy hair la mute evidence o a neglected scalp; of dandruff that awful scurf. There Is nothing so destructive to the hair as dandruff. It robs the hair of its lustre, Its strength and its very life: eventually producing a feverish ness and t lng of the scalp, which If not remedied causes the hair roots to shrink, loosen and die then the hair falls out fast. A little Danderlne tonight now any time will Burely save your hair. Get a 25-cent bottle of Knowlton's Danderlne from any drug store. You surely can have beautiful hair and lots of it if you will just try a little danderlne. Save your hair! Try ltl USES FOR SOY BEANS Soy beans seem to have a great many uses. Among the differ ent uses listed by the depart ment of agriculture -are the grinding of meal and feeding, which has the double purpose of furnishing feed for cattle and making u manure that has espe cially strong fertilizing value; milk may be made from them, as Is done In Japan, and a vegetable cheese made from the milk; they may also be made Into a flour for the manufac ture of crackers, breads, etc., that are of value In cases of dia betes, and a good oil may be extracted from them. AVOID FEEDING MOLDY GRAIN Cause of Mortality Among Hens of Nebraska Farmer Livers of Fowls Found to Be Enlarged. Feeding moldy grain to hens Is not a paying proposition, according to the experience of an Eastern Nebraska farmer, who recently asked the unl- erslty poultry department of the Ne braska agricultural college what was cnuslng his hens to die. Upon visiting the farmer's poultry yard, a member of the poultry depart- nent found 75 hens hud died during the summer. The livers of dead hens were found to be enlarged, fowls were overfat, and the yard In which they were kept was bare. The owner stated that when he shut up his birds, they lid not die, but that when he turned them out, he would lose one or two hens each day. Moldy grain was found to be the source of his trouble. His wheat was frown on low land that was submerged luring heavy ruins nt threshing time, mid the grain molded rapidly when put nto the bin. Also, as the corn crib had no door, sun and rain could beat In freely, and the corn looked dry and bright on top, but was moldy under neath. Consequently his flock received nothing but moldy grains, with the re- ult that many died. 00K OVER FARM MACHINERY Direct Answer. The boss of a woodworking shop In West Philadelphia was examining an Irishman as to his fitness for a job as a cabinetmaker. After some lengthy examination, the foreman asked: "How would you make a Venetian blind?" "I'd poke him In the eye wld me screwdriver," answered the tired Celt.. Dated Ahead. "Are those eggs fresh?" "Yes, miss. They wouldn't have been laid till tomorrow If I hadn't made a mistake and torn an extra leaf off the calondar." Ideas. A Tradition Threatened. "Do yon think votes for women make much actual difference In elec tion resultB?" "They ought to. The way pickets face all kinds of climate should do OWay with tho expectation that rainy weather will mean a small turnout on election day." Exchange. Starting Early. Mr. Newly wed Poorman What do you think about putting up a five-foot shelf for books? Ills Little Bride Do. We ought easily to be able to borrow that many. Life. Sober. Tho Shaw family had recently tak en a house In the fashionable residen tial section of the city. Some weeks later an acquaintance of former years called on Mrs. Shaw and was viewing the treasures in the library. "Is your husband a bibliomaniac?" queried tho visitor. "Goodness me, no!" ejaculated Mrs. Shnw. "He never nibbles a' bit. Oh, of course, I don't say that he wouldn't take a little at his meals If the rest were dnln' It; but that's as far as he over goes in them kind of things." Harper's Magazine. Quite So. "The bride's mother has the advant age of the bridegroom's mother at the ceremony." "How so?" "Everybody assumes that the bride Is getting a little tho worst of It." Louisville Courier-Journal. QqrQQ Every Niqht For Constipation Headacl1e.Indi9estion.ctt RANDRETH Safe and Sure "RUPTURE IT'S CAUSE AND CURE" Is IK. title of a booklet. W. wUl mall rou oaa tree. AtMreoa Dept. C. A. LUND BERG CO., 1107 Third Ave., Seattle. Implements Should Be Given Thorough Overhauling Before Spring Work Has Commenced. Fnrm machinery should receive a thorough overhauling before spring work begins. If implements are not Inken out of the shed or from under ho shade trees until they are needed hey may not be In running order. See If there are nny broken parts or worn parts which need replacing. Repairs annot be had Inside of a few days or sometimes weeks. With some crops, a week of delay often means the differ ence between profit and loss. Machinery which has stood In the fence corner since last used will need generous oiling to free It of rust. It will be n good plan to run machines a little to see If they are in shape and to get them limbered up before time to use them. . Plows should be scoured, harness should be repaired, clevises, laprlngs, single trees and double trees put In shape. Spike-tooth harrows should hove their teeth reversed, and disks should be ground If they need It. Clean nut ollholes, tighten nuts and replace worn bolts. MANURE FROM FARM ANIMALS Liquid Excrement Contains Nearly Half of Nitrogen and Potassium - Should Be Saved. The llnuld excrement from fnrm nni- mnls contains nearly half the nitrogen and potassium voided by them and slinnlil lie enrefullv preserved. When steers are fed on cement floors the vnlne of the immure produced Is more thnn $4 ner venr greater for each ani mal than when fed on earth floors. Open barnyard manure Is about one imlf ns vnlunble as stall manure. The least amount of nitrogen will be lost from store manure if animals lire Kept on It or It Is kept in a moist, well packed condition. Mnnnro used In connection with con tinuous croppings will not maintain the vleltl. but when used In con nection with crop rotation it Increases the yield of nil crops grown In that ro tation. Manure used In conjunction with a complete fertilizer lilgh In phosphorus will give better returns than when either Is used alone. WOOD-SAWING IS MADE EASY Iron Hook, Made of Piece of Bent Strap Iron and Attached to Board, Holds Stick Firm. ijy nentitug a jjteee onuj, and attaching to a board, a stick of wood may be held firmly on a saw buck, and It will not turn over or Improved Saw-Buck. tilt up. Put the Iron hook over the pole between the legs of the saw-horse and stand with the left foot on the board. This Is much easier than the old method of holding the pole steady. ATTENTION FOR GAS ENGINES Watch Cooling System Carefully and Oraln Off Water Every Night to Prevent Freezing. Watch the cooling system of your gasoline engines In cold weather. Drain them thoroughly every time you use the engine, before you leave It for the night, If It Is where it can pos sibly freeze. The water jacket Is almost certain to be cracked If water freezes In It Don't take any chances. BIG EATERS GET I KIDNEYJROUBLE Take Salts at first sign of Blad der irritation or Backache. The American men and women must guard constantly against Kidney trou ble, because we eat too much and all our food is rich. Our blood is filled with urlo acid which the kidneys strive to filter out, they weaken from overwork, become sluggish; the oil ur inative tissues clog and the result Is kidney trouble, bladder weakness and a general decline in health. When your kidneys feel like lumps of lead; yonr back hurts or the urine is cloudy, full of sediment or you are obliged to seek relief two or three times during the night; if you suffer with sick headache or dizzy, nervous spells, acid stomach, or you have rheu matism when the weather Is bad, get from your pharmacist about four ounces of Jad Salts; take a table spoonful In a glass of water before breakfast for a few days and your kid neys will then act fine. This famous salts la made from the acid of grapes and lemon juice, combined with lithla, and has been used for generations to flush and stimulate clogged kidneys; to neutralize the acids in the urine so it no longer Is a source of irritation, thus ending bladder disorders. Jad Salts is inexpensive; cannot in jure, makes a delightful effervescent lithia-water beverage, and belongs in every home, because nobody can make a mistake by having a good kidney flushing any time. Brother Knew Why. Sister and little brother had been to the dog show and were greatly inter ested in the hairless canines from Mexico. At the dinner table mamma told them that some friends of hers once bad one of .those Mexican dogs and that they named him "Minus." Now, sister." said mamma, why do you suppose they called him Minus?" But sister didn t seem to be able to figure it out. I know, mamma, volunteered brother. "Because the mines are In Mexico." Indianapolis News. Laugh When People Step On Your Feet Try this yourself then It along to others. It worksl pass Ouch !?!?!! This kind ot rough talk will be heard less Lere in town if people troubled with corns will follow the simple advice of this Cincinnati authority, who claims that a few drops of a drug called freezone when applied to a tender, aching corn or hardened callous stops soreness at once, and soon the corn or callous dries up and lifts right off without pain. He says freezone dries immediately and never inflames or even irritates the surrounding skin. A small bottle of freezone will cost very little at any drug store, but will positively remove every bard or soft corn or callous from one's feet Millions of American women will welcome this announce ment since the Inauguration of the high heels. If your druggist doesn't have freezone tell him to order a small bottle for you. New Clue. A schoolboy composition on Patrick Henry contained the following gem: "Patrick was not a very bright boy. He had blue eyes and light hair. He got married, and then said, 'Give me liberty or give me death.' " New York Times. The Safest Course. "Is there no way of stopping these cyclones?" asked a traveler who was relating his experiences in the Far West. "No," replied the narrator. "The best way is to go along with them." New York Times. Bad Habit Meeker This paper Bays a man should tell his wife daily that he loves her. What do you think of that? Enpeck Huh! I don't think a news paper ought to encourage lying. Indianapolis News. Caught "Hubby, you know that letter I said I gave you to mall?" "Yes, my dear: I assure you I mail ed it." "No, you didn't. I didn't give it to you. I thought I gave it to you, but I gave it to father." Louisville Courier-Journal. t, Too Scientific. The city-bred boy's parents had just moved Into the country and arrange ments were being made for him to at tend the public school. One day he saw electricians at work there. "What are those fellows doing?" he asked bis father. "Putting in an electric switch," was the reply. "Well, I am going back to town at once," was the boy's astonishing com ment. "I won't stand a school where they do their licking by electricity." New York Times. EEKS' Si BREAK . UP -A COLD TABLETS HIP COLO IN THE BUD hrwak un .,.1,1 'uiy drujj; utore TYPHOID: la no mora nicsstry than Smallpox, Arsry eiperience &s demons rated the almost miraculous effi cacy, and hamlessnesi, of Antityphoid Vacxlnitlon. Be vaccinated NOW by your physician, you and jour family. It Is more vital than house insurance. Ask your physician, drucelst, or send for "Hava you had Typhoid?' telling of Typhoid Vaccina, results from ua , and danger from Typhoid Carriers. . THE CUTTM UVDOIATOtY, MlHLfY, CAU1 rioaucua vaccines a sums ukhi u. . uctiaa Allcock PLASTERS Tkt Wortfx Greatest Exttrnal Rtmdy. Coughs and Colds ion cnaas sna aaotnor Weak Cheats, Any Local Pain. ln$ixt on tucoars. W. L. DOUGLAS "THE SHOE THAT HOLDS ITS SHAPE" $3 $3-50 $4 $4.50 $5 $6 $7 & $8 A&&l8t&M Save Money by Wearing W. L uougias shoes. For tude by over 9000 shoe dealer&u The Best Known Shoes In the World. W. L. Douglas name and the retail price is stamped on the bot tom of all shoes at the factory . The value is guaranteed and the wearer protected against high prices for inferior shoes. The retail prices are the same everywhere. They cost no more in San Franpsco than they do in New York. They are always worth the price paid for them. nphe quality of W. L. Douglas product is guaranteed by more L than 40 years experience in making fine shoes. The smart styles are the leaders in the Fashion Centres of America. Thev are made in a well-equipped factory at Brockton, Mass.. by the highest paid, skilled shoemakers, under the direction and supervision of experienced men, all working with an honest determination to make the pest snoes lor the price that money can buy. Ask yonr shoe dealer for W. T.. Douglas shoes. If he can not supply you with the kind you want, take no other make. Write for lntereBting booklet explaining how to get shoes of the higheat atandard of quality for the price, uy rmurn man, postage irev. LOOK FOR W. L Douglas IM!Lre&i V I U.BBBBB1 Boys' Shoes Baal In the World $3.00 $2.50 & $2.00 name ana me reut.. pnee w pI)(l)ntOw.IDngta.ShoC4., stamped on the bottom. 18a gpark St., Brockton, fllaas. CUTICURA COMPLEXIONS Are Usually Remarkably Soft and Clear Trial Free. Make Cuticura Soap your everyday toilet Soap, and assist it now and then as needed by touches of Cutieura Ointment to soften, soothe and heal. Nothing better to make the complex ion clear, scalp free from dandruff and hands soft and white. Free sample each by mail with Book. Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston. Sold everywhere. Adv. Candor Suppressed. "A person should always tell the absolute truth." "Yes," replied Mr. Cumrox. "But what am I going to do? The other evening we got to talking art and refinement, and somebody asked me what my favorite musical instrument is. I had to say 'violoncello' or some thing like that. Mother and the girls would never have forgiven me if I had come right out with the truth and said 'steam piano.' " 10 DARKEN HI APPLY SAGE M Look Young! Bring Back Its Natural Color, Gloss and Attractiveness. IF YOUR CHILD IS CRO S, FEVERISH, CONSTIPATED Look Motherl If tongue Is coated, cleanse little bowels with. "Cali fornia Syrup of rigs." Mothers can ret easy after giving "California Syrup of Figs," because in a few hours all the clogged-up waste, sour bile and fermenting food gently moves out of the bowels, and you have a well, playful child again. . Sick children needn't be coaxed to take this harmless "fruit laxative." Millions of mothers keep It handy be cause they know its action on the stomach, liver and bowels is prompt and sure. Ask your druggist for a 50-ceht bot tle of "California Syrup of Figs," which contains directions for babies, children of all ages and tor grown-ups. An Autolst's Discovery. "What we need is the man who sug gests caution amid the mad rush of affairs; the man who influences us to slow down and study the situation." "I know that very man," exclaimed Mr. Chuggins. "He's a motorcycle cop." Washington Star. 'Justified Himself. He The love I have declared for you is a perfect love. She And you swear that you have never loved another? He Ah, darling, you forget that it is practice that makes perfect. Bos ton Transcript Aroused Her Interest. "This French general says that one should never get caught in a cul de sac." "What's that?" asked his wife. "Cul de sac." "Hum. Those French know. I won der what kind of a sacque the modiste is making for me?" Louisville Courier-Journal. Valuations. "You can't judge things by what they coBt." "True enough. An artificial limb is very expensive and a real leg you got free." Washington Star. MM HOT WATE1 IF YOGI BESH11 A bays we can't help but look better and feel better after an Inside bath. To look one's best and feel one's best is to enjoy an inside bath each morning to flush from the system the previous day's waste, sour fermenta tions and poisonous toxins before it Is absorbed into the blood. Just as coal, when it burns, leaves behind a cer tain amount of incombustible material in the form of ashes, so the food and drink taken each day leave in the ali mentary organs a certain amount of indigestible material, which if not eliminated, form toxins and poisons which are then sucked into the blood through the very ducts which are in tended to suck in only nourishment to sustain the body. If you want to see the glow of healthy bloom in your cheeks, to see your skin get clearer and clearer, you are told to drink every morning upon arising, a glass of hot water with a teaspoonful of limestone phosphate in it, which is a harmless means of wash ing the waste material and toxins from the stomach, liver, kidneys and bowels, thus cleansing, sweetening and purifying the entire alimentary tract, before putting more food into the stomach. Men and women with sallow skins, liver spots, pimples or pallid com plexion, also those who wake up with a coated tongue, bad taste, nasty breath, others who are bothered with headaches, bilious spells, acid .stom ach or constipation should begin this phosphate hot water drinking and are assured of very pronounced results in one or two weeks. A quarter pound of limestone phos phate costs very little at the drug store but is. sufficient to demonstrate that just as soap and hot water cleanses, purifies and freshens the skin on the outside, so hot water and limestone phosphate act on the inside organs. We must always consider that Internal sanitation is vastly more im portant than outside cleanliness, be cause the skin pores do not absorb Impurities into the blood, while the bowel pores do. Common garden sage brewed into a heavy tea with sulphur added, will turn gray, streaked and faded hair beautifully dark and luxuriant Just a few applications will prove a revela tion if your hair is fading, streaked or gray. Mixing the Sage Tea and Sul phur recipe at home, though, is trou blesome. An easier way Is to get a 50 cent bottle of Wyeth's Sage and Sul phur Compound at any drug store all ready for use. This is the old time recipe improved by the addition of other Ingredients. While wispy, gray, faded hair is not sinful, we all desire to retain our youthful appearance and attractive ness. By darkening your hair with Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Compound, no one can tell, because it does it so naturally, so evenly. You just dampen a sponge or soft brush with it and draw this through your hair, taking one small strand at a time; by morn ing all gray hairs have disappeared, and, after another application or two, your hair becomes beautifully dark, glossy, soft and luxuriant. This preparation is a delightful toil et requisite and is not Intended for the cure, mitigation or prevention of disease. Send 10c to Dr. Pierce Invalids' Ho tel, Buffalo, for large trial package o'f "Anuric" for kidneys, cures backache. Planning the Impossible. "You have made promises that you cannot fulfill." "I suppose I have," replied Senator Sorghum. "Criticism should not be harsh. Many a conscientious man gets home at 2 a. m. and in perfect good faith has set the alarm clock for 7:30." Washington Star. Anticipates Them.. "My husband is very devoted; he anticipates my every wish." "So does my husband mine; when ever he thinks I am going to ask him for somt thing he lights out." Boston Transcript. Foresight. "That old fellow Santa Claus may be kind-hearted," said the precocious boy; "but he's no fool." "What makes you say that?" 1 "He got around with all that candy and cake just ahead of the big jump in the price of sugar." Washington Star. Cumulative Responsibilities. "What do you think an extra ses sion will accomplish?" "Probably," answered Senator Sor ghum, "it will dig up material for more extra sessions." Washington Star. Repartee. When it comes to repartee trust the Rotary club to have a quota under steam all the time. Just for Instance : At a recent meeting of the club Rol tare Eggleston was on the floor calling for volunteer performers for the forth coming Rotary minstrel show. "I can play a flute," Walter Kipp shouted. Somebody suggested that Harry Storment could play the trap drums. "Dale Eaglesfield can plaly horse," piped Frank Shepard. The laugh went round and everybody thought Shepard had it on Kggleston, but the Keith manager came back with: "We'll book him. Somebody has to haul the baggage." Indianapolis News. CRISIS OF WOMAN'S LIFE Change Safely Passed by Taking Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. Wagoner, Okla. "1 never get tired of praising Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege- lame ixmpouna because during Change of Life I was in bed two years and had two operations, but all the doctors and op erations did me no good, and I would have been in my grave today had it not been for Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg etable Compound which brought me ont of it all right so I am now well and do all my housework, besides working in my garden. Several of my neighbors have got well by tak ing Lydia E. Pinkham'sVegetable Com pound." Mrs. Viola Finical, Wagon er, Okla. Such warning symptoms as sens of suffocation, hot flashes, headaches, back aches, dread of impending evil, timidity, sounds in the ears, palpitation of the heart sparks before the eyea, irregu larities, constipation, variable appetite, weakness and dizziness should be heeded by middle-aged women Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound has carried many women safely through the crisis.