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About The Athena press. (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 15, 1909)
P at a it h institutional Disease ;ijjinates in impure blood and i eonstituuonai treatment, acting ana purnyingtne Diooa, tor its knd permanent cure. The ; Constitutional remedy h id's Sarsaparifla kl liquid form or in chocolated tab- fownassarsataos. iuodoses$l. il And other local forms of catarrh fcnoptly relieved by Antiseplets or Nets, 50c., druggists or mail. V. I. Uood Uo., JLowell, Mass. i Chlaaffo'a Equator. ehsr Tommy, do you know what to? paiy Yes, ma'am. It's distance, and south of tb Chicago rivtr. a Tribune. On Mora VmfortnnMo. I police justict looked at the bat. I disreputable specimen of manhood , him and turned to the policeman. , fece?," he liked,' "what Is the com- F' l ' : , ... peumatis, y'r honor," spoke up tht per, answering for himself. Chicage ne.l f . ; The nab. (tend Pa, what do they mean when I sayj '"Money la easy" In Wall ft? f - . They mean that It la easy, my ! because they haye just gotten it t easy people. , ttendj-rThen why can't we get It? -Because those that have a hold :, are not easy. F-rora 8 Til 10 P. M. rtAiif wnn mavIhbi nlntitnAsi Vial 4 ij ai'uui j wui iuviiu yubuiv iuhi I they charge a dime to see, they may be real amusing, but I Just take a tip from me: . . 's a transparent curtain and two "sooners" on our street v about your moving pictures well, "w( guess we,Y them beat.x Jenlla' Depravity. : ' "V f.: tty, said her mother, rebuklngly, 'must sit still when you are at the rr . , " fcau't, mamma," protested the little 'I'm? a firths Waa." j . Tea-aUaata Dallatlna. am ? Burrows How's yer chawln' jeker Ezra? ra Skinner (reluctantly producing iMTlIllnV fast; I don't erpect it It the day out. Puck. t & ' Triumph of Hibii Natara. hem seventeen mothers in the rll- frnotliers club . agreed to, decide by it which had the handsomest baby.'' tell, who won it?" :. ' Sich'ild got one vote." Judge. ' l - i; . .; 8 ParUcalors Raqalrad. ; kitty, A wouldn't you 'like U know (thing about Esperanto?" )o you have to learn to play It, is imething you eat?" j jLre art now over 250,000 words in Enjliiib language acknowledged by the F"auffioritis, or" about - 70,000 more I in t lie-German, Frepch, Spanish and linn lanriis' 'nmhined.' fife i. s r mm 1 h-v IF youVe NEVER WORN SUCKER youVe yet to learn the bodilv comfort it qives in the wettest weather MADE rOR hARD SERVICE AND GUARANTEED WATERPROOF 322 -.; AT Alt GOOD STORES CATALOG IDCC unm osTOM.u.sJk. TOWta CUUDM) Ul UMITIO. Toaoirte. CM KASHAKILLA TMs sterling household remedy is most (successfully prescribed for a "world of troubles." For derangements of the di ,'gestive organs it is a natural corrective, I operating directly upon the liver and ali- tuentary -canal, gently but persistently J stimulating a healthful activity. Its f beneficial influence extends, however.' to I every portion of the system, aiding in the. processes oi atgesuou ana assimuauon oi food, promoting a wholesome, natural appetite, correcting sour stomach, bad breath, irregularities of the bowels, con stipation and the long list of troubles directly traceable to those unwholesome i conditions. Kasoarilla dispels drowsi- ness, headache, backache and despond-' ency due to inactivity of the liver, kidneys and digestive tract. It is a strengthening tonic of the highest value. If it fails to satisfy we authorize all dealers to refund the purchase price. Hoyt Chemical Co. Portland, Oregop i C. Gee Wo The Chinese Doctor jr aided ' rv'J kind. 1 l e alldiai This mat ClitnaM afcr iionn is well kaawa throughout ill Kortli wl bwtuM of hit won derful ad mrvlout ovrtm. ad 1 today her alded bf au aiepatwiim irwiMl oi nw Re treat anr ana MtjJaOiAiA- fnl rhinrea roota. herb and barki that are ontirelr aaknowa to the aied leal eotence of. thia courtly. With theee harm lew remediea he Ruerao-eea to cure eatarrh. asthma, lung trouble, rheumatism. aerTOaeneaa. omanh. liver anil kidner troablaa. alas private dueaeaa oi mam and women. CONSllLTATiON IUEE Pat lea t cmtaide of eitr write tor blaafea aaa I'rculaxa. lacioaa to atamp. , . - The C Gee Wo Medicine Co. 1S2H First St, Near Merriaaa Porllawa, Or. NO, 60-OS HEX writlna; to adTertUara plajaaa aaediloB thte paper. A woman and her opinions are soon parted. . , , ... . Wigg -I have a noiseless typewriter. Wagg Is she a deaf-mute? Philadel phia Record. , f . ' ; "What alls me, ;dbc' asked the gen ial clubman. : ;-'You need a Job. You're suffering from overrest." New York Sun. Mrs. Benham How much did you pay the minister when we were mar ried? r Benham He fined ine five dol lars. Harper's Weekly. . Teacher Now, children, whaf Is the greatest enemy of poultry? Silence. Teacher Wrho eats the most poultry? Pupils The minister! Jugeud (Mun ich). The Lady Little boy, don't you know smoking will shorten your life? The Kid Shucks! Wot do I care? I've seen everyt'ing dere is. Boston Trav eler ' - ' " Pat I hear yer woife Is sick, Moike. Mike She Is thot. Pat Is it danger ous she Is? Mike Divil a bit. She's too weak to be dangerous any more ! Brooklyn Life. , Facetious Friend (teaeingly) Well, which rules you or your wife? Mr. Youngwed (with hauteur) You forget we can afford to keep a cook. Balti more American. Stella So your father handled him without .gloves? Bella Yes, and It would, have. been better for poor, dear George If he'.had done it without shoes. -New Yrk Sun.' , . ;. "The telephone Is certainly a great Invention.- Think of It! You can talk to your' wife fifty miles away." "That may be your experience. All I've been able to do is to listen." . "Have you," asked the Judge of a re cently convicted man, "anything to of fer the court before sentence Is passed?" "No, your honor," replied the prisoner, "my lawyer took my. last dollar." "I saw the major's wife at her win dow early this morning. She looked 40 years old!". -'.'l'ou must be mistaken, your, highness ;, no woman is as old ns she looks in the morning!" B'lIegenUe JJlaetteri .. .jj l i: ': . 5. "Why are you so -'vexed,' Irma?' ,'I am so 'exasperated! I attended the meeting of the Social Equality League, and my parlor maid presided and had the audacity to call mi to order three times r-pFliegepde Blaster, v Mulligan The byes ' say ye licked poor Casey. Shure, he nlver hurt luy mau's feelln's. . v Harrigan He's a shnake in the grass. The blackguard referred to me as his cbntlinperary, and I'll be the contlmperary to no man livln'. Puck. " "Before we were married," said Mrs. Chatterton, "you used to tell Jne" how much -you loved mei but you' never do now." "Of course not, my dear." re plied the masculine partner. "Since our marriage you haven't given me a chance to tell you anything." Said a poet to an unfortunate specu lator : "Don't you think that the open ing, lines of Tennyson's .little poem, 'Break, break, break,' are plaintive and sad?" "Yes," was the melancholy re ply. But I think that 'Broke, broke, broke,' is a good deal sadder." "William," she said, "means goca. James means beloved. I wonder" a flush mantled her cheek. "I wonder she softly murmured, "what George means?" "George means business, I hope," said mother, looking up from the wedding announcements In the paper. . Anxious Mother Nellie, dear, do you think that young Huggins, who has been calling on you twice a week for bome time, is matrimonially inclined? Pretty Daughter Really, I don't know what to think, mamma, dear. He has such a" knack of keeping, one .in the dark! . Old Acquaintance Why, old ehap, a few years ago you were the best dressed man In town, but now your outfit ,1s pretty shabby. Had a reverse? Companion Well, you may call it that The truth Is, I got married since, and now it'a my wife that's the .best dressed woman in town! ' . . - Young Wife To-morrow will be my birthday, dear. Young Husband YouTl be twenty-one? Young Wife No; twenty-five. Young Husband Why, a year ago, Just before our wed ding, you told me you were only twen ty. Young Wife Yes, but I have'aged rapidly since pur .marriage. ,:", "My friends,"' said an itinerant preacher, "the 8crlptural rule for giv ing was one-tenth bf what a man pos sessed. If you feel you can't afford so much,' just give a sixth, or a fourth, ac cording to your means.' ',We will dis pense with the next hymn an take up the collection." Llppincott'a. . Willie And so you quarreled? Char He Yes; she sent back all. my pres ents. And what do you suppose I did? Willie Can't guess. Charlie I sent her a half dozen boxes of face powder, with a note explaining that I'd taken about that much home ou my coat aince I'd known her. The Gos-iP- . ' ' , - What has become of the old-fashioned woman who had her photograph taken with one hand holding a half-opened book? ' vV i I I SOPHIA HEALTH VERY POOR : RESTORED BY PE-RU-NA Catarrh Twenty-five Years Had a Bad Cough Miss Sophia Kittleson, Evanston, 111., writes: . "I have been troubled with catarrh for nearly twenty-five years and have tried many cures for it, but obtained very little help. . "Then my brother advised me to try Peruna, and I did. "My health was very poor at the time I began taking Peruna. .My throat was very sore and I had a bad cough. "Peruna has cured me. The chronic catarrh is gone and my health is very much improved." I recommend Peruna to all my friends who are troubled as I was." PERUNA TABLETS: Some people pre fer tablets, rather than medicine in a fluid form.: Such people can obtain Pe runa tablets, which represent the medicinal ingredients of Peruna. Each tablet equals one average dose of Pe runa. ; ., : .; ; ; i . ' -'. - . Man-a-lin the Ideal Laxative Ask Your Druggist for a Free Peruna Almanac for i909. The St. Petersburg correspondent oi the London Mail says that ear drumi made of thin leave of silver are being used in the Russian military hospitals fet diseases of the ear, to replace defectivt organs. Mothers will find Mrs. VflniloWS Doothlni Byrup the beet remedy to use for their ohUdrco luring the teething period. Stanaaa to a Chora Girl. I am sorry you can't be my bride, May, ' But my father won't give his consent, And if he, In a rage, cut me off, May, Why I never could pay for our rent. But why should we live any more? May, In death we should not be apart. I suffer alone, and am seized, May, . With a grief that la searing my hear,t. Eo let's flee from the odious world, May, Where there's nothing but troubles and cares, Ah, won't it be grand, when we two, hand in hand, Are climbing the golden stairs? CITC St. Vitas' Dance and ' omnia Diaeaaea pars rilJnentlj cared bjr Dr. i .lae'i Great Nerve K torer. Send for FREE $3.00 trial bottle and treatise. Dr. B. H. Kline, Ld till Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa. ' To Avoid Mlatakea. "I want a bottle of Kybold's Extract," said the prominent politician of the 'Steenth ward, stepping into a drug store. "Kybold's Extract?" queried the drug gist. "That's a medicine I never heard of before." "I never heard of it, either, until to-day, but I'm under contract to write a testi monial for it, and I want to find out what diseases k claims to be good for." You Can Get Allen'a Toot-Ease FREE. Write Alren 8. Olmsted.Le Roy, N. Y., (or a Iree sample of Allen's Foot-Ease. It cures sweating, hot swollen, aching feet. It makes new or tight shoes easy. A certain cure for corns, lnciowing nails and bunions. All drug gists sell it. 25c. Don't accept any substitute Let's flee from this odious world, May And go'to the land Of frothless sodas, V thumbless waiters and countless de lights; where your pipe doesn't go out every few minute and you ' don't have to tramp ten miles to get a check cashed. --Tale Record. Lame Back Prescription. - The increased use of whiskey for lame back rheumatism is causing con siderable discussion among the medical fraternity. It is an almost infallible cure when mixed with certain other in gredients and taken properly. The fol lowing formula is effective: "To one half pint of good whiskey add one ounte oCToris Compound and one ounce Syrup Sarsaparilla Compound. Take in tablespoonf ul doses before each meal and before retiring." Toris compound is a product of' the laboratories of the Globe Pharmaceuti cal Co., Chicago, but it as well as tht other ingredients can be had from any good druggist. illoat rating It. "Josiah,"' ankfd Mrs. Chugwater, look v up from the newspaper she wae read- "what is a 'homestretch'?" , "Thia," answered Mr. Obugwater, lean--g back in his easy chair, slowly extend ng his arms at right angles with his oily, and accompnnying the exercise with dismal yawn. "You've en me do it 4 ,,. "rr-." Chicago Tribune, PJ " 4aav paa wm -1 t,UKU Whi-Kt A1X U-M. r A1L i tleat Coieu bmio. Tastes Good. Vj Ve in time. Soli br drtirriss. mm a aaa' U aare bM SOMETHING FOB EVERYBODY . The annual wear and tear on the world's currency is estimated at two tons of gold and 100 tons of silver. In all the civilized countries of the world GO per cent of the persons over 10 years old have to work for a living. There are in the State of New York forty-three villages of between 1,000 and 2,000 Inhabitants which have free libraries. ' - The Finns evidently have not found woman suffrage a failure. Nineteen women were elected to their first Par liament. Now twenty-five have just been elected to the second. ; Berlin opened a rink on Sept. 1 for Ice skating all the year round. This makes the fourth ptrmanent ice rink in Europe, others being operated In London, Paris and Munich. The ivory nut, wuich is so much used by button manufacturers, Is the fruit of a species of palm which grows In "Central and South America. It forms a valuable crop, particularly In Pnnnma, Colombia, Ecuador and Peru. A Gorman statistician has calculated that the steam power In present use on this globe is eiual to 120,000,000 horse power. The coal needed to supply this steam for a year would make a freight train extending ten times around the earth. From Mora conies a story of sugar beets more than two feet long and weighing only a trifle less than twelve pounds. There are said to be two of these monster tubers there, and it Is claimed they were grown on the farm of a native who lives several miles up the valley from the town of Mora. Las Vegas (N. M.) Optic. The first recorded production of a play In Australia took place in June of the year 1780. It was called "The Itecruitlug Officer." The proceeds of the first pay night (some 20) went to the family of a man who had been drown ed. In January, 1790, a rough and ready playhouse was opened and the public had to pay one shilling a head for admission. The payments were made In kind, wheat, flour or rum tak ing the place of the usual currency. London Standard. Don't mark your stationery any longer with a monogram. That Is out of date. The latest symbol Is the thumb mark. It Is engraved In gold or silver and has all the value of a Ber tillon mark of Identification. Station ers who have introduced this way of marking use the prints in the center of a correspondence card and about half an Inch from the top to make them most effective. The thumb is some times printed in- red or blue, although the metal colors are more popular. New York Sun. . Mrs. Bertha Ayrton has succeeded In ascertaining the cause of the refractory behavior of the searchlight in certain respects and In devising a remedy. The British admiralty called on Prof. Ayr ton to investigate the trouble some time ago. After making many Investigations he turned the problem over to his wife, who Is the only woman member of the Institute of Electrical Engineers and who received the only medal ever awardt! to a woman by the Royal So ciety of London for original unaided work. . The Congregational parsonage at Klt tery Is one of the oldest houses In the State of Maine. It is the oldest ecclesi astical resldeune in the State, and the oldest one In present use in New Eng land. The house was built In 1729, In the days of Hon. William Tepperell, father of . Sir William Pepperell. , It contains the library bequeathed by Sir William to Dr. Benjamin Stevens, for forty years minister of the KIttery Point church. Dr. Stevens in his turu bequeathed the library to the Congrega tional ministers of KIttery and York for all time. Many of these books con tain the Pepperell coat-of-arms. Kern nebec (Me.) Journal. In Henderson County, Cain Cox, flv miles from Athens, has not only ad hered to diversification In all Its forms, raising fruit, tomatoes and the cereal and hay crops, as well as some cotton, but he has been Investing some money in other experiments, some of which are about to turn out very profitably. One of his side experiments has been almonds, be having put in quite a num ber of the young trees about five years ago. The trees are now well grown and are bearing fine aluonds, though not as large nor as fine as the import ed variety. The trees bore a few almonds last year and many more this year, and by another year Mr. Cox thinks he will get a crop large enough o market Houston Post The death of James W. Paul, the Philadelphia banker, recalls this story which he told at a Philadelphia club not long ago: "I was going home one night late and saw a man who had evi dently looked deep into the cup mak ing frantic but unsuccessful efforts to open a door with a latchkey. After looking at hlra a few minutes I decided to help the man, who was not so far gone as to have forgotten his polite ness, for before entering the bouse through the door which I succeed ed in opening be asked my name and thanked me. I proceeded on my way, but had gone only a few steps, when I beard some one call 'Mr. Paul ! Mr. Paul!' I turned, and there was my friend of the latchkey coming to ward me with unsteady gait When be reached me be put one hand affection ately on my shoulder, and, looking me In the face, said : 'Say, did you ever get an answer to that long letter you wrote to the Tbessalonians? " "NX FUE1S snims WE BUY fttr spot oaah. JO to S0 more money for yon to ship Raw Fnra and Hldea to ns than to sell at home. W rite for Price Lint. Market Knport. Snipping Taga. acd about our HUNTERS'&TRAPPERS'GUIDEeilS. 5 p.' 1,1m fcoona. Btt thine on the aubiact aw written. Illuitratlni all Tur Animate, all almiil Trappera fcacreta, Daco;t, Trapa, 0m Law,. How and whera to trap, and to oacoina a l ewitill trappar. H'iarotularEne;elpdia. Priea. $3. Toourciutomani. II S5. Hiriastannad inte tautiful Rntwe. Our Marnatle Bait and Deot attract! anlmali to trapa '.0(lprh.ila, Shipvniir Eidea and Fun touaaud sat hiitual sricaa. Aadcraea lirve., Desk 121 Min ncauHiUa. 11 Urn. A Flavoring;. It makes a syrup better than Maple. aJ Soli by grocer. Aesop la "Little Italy." , A school teacher in the Italian quar ter of an American city told her chil dren the story of the fox and the grapes. Tony was especially delighted with the story, and eagerly sought his chum, Joe, who was in another class. By good luck, the teacher overheard Tony's version. In his exvited, broken English he told the fable much as It was written, until he came to the end. This was his rendering of the climax: "De olda fox he say, 'Da grape no good, anyhow; alia sour. I guess I go geta de banan.' " New Use (or It. Mrs. Tneubride (at telephone) Hello! Is that the health department? Voice Yes. Mrs. Pneubride I wish you would send one of your officers to 697 Bilgus street. This house is .full of cockroaches. Chi cago Tribune. Br Ear. Stranger (on horseback) Uncle, what is the price of oats to-day? Uncle Jed (sitting on the fence) We don't sell our votes in these difgiu's, mis ter. Be you a candidate? Her Impromptu Conundrum. "You called on Miss Tartun and she greeted you with : 'Why, Mr Sorreltop !' Well, what was there in that harmless exclamation to offend you, Percy?" "Yes, but she er didn't punctuate It that way. She said : 'Why Mr. Sorrel-tep?'" lie Conldu't Tell a Lie. "Well, good-by, dear !" said Mr. Trus boy to his beloved spouse. "I must go and dictate those letters twenty-six of them so you mustn't expect me home very early." "All right !" was the response. "But I wish you wouldn't work so hard." Half an hour later, Mr. Trueboy en tered his club and sat down, with three others, at a card table. "Just a moment, you fellows, before the first hand is dealt. I've got to keep my word with my wife. Oue of you just take down what I dictate: 'Abe defghijklmnopqrstuvw x y 2.' There 1 Those letters are oil my mind." . Ha Conld Not Tel Lie. Inquiring Lady How much milk does your cow give a day? Truthful Boy 'Bout twelve quarts, lady. Inquiring Lady And how much of that do you sell? Truthful Boy 'Bout twelve quart, lady. Human Life. , The Horsemen. A veterinary surgeon pronounced a hunter to be afflicted with au incur able disease. , "What had I better do?" queried th owner to his groom. "Well, sir," was the reply, "con scientiously speaking, I should part with him to another gentleman." Tit Bits. ' ALCOHOL 3 PER cent AVe,efablePreparaonforAs sirailatiiigiheRioiamlRci'ula ting (lie Stomachs andJJcwels of Promotes DiestionJCkErful ness and Rest.Contains neither Opiimi.Morphine nor Mineral. Not Narcotic, j , fimfJtwSftJ' Jlx.Smim Item Sua- liS T 1 For Infants and Children. The Kind You llavo Always Bought Bears Clmfird SHiprt 'en firm Anerfecf Itemedv forConsflpa lion , Sour Stonwch.Dtarrhoca Wormsfonvulsioiis.revBrisn ness aniLoss OF Sleep. Facsimile Signature of NEW YORK. toe A X SignaiurejjP Iff Use rnrrii m if i For Over Thirty Years BIT- Exact Copy of Wrapper. thc atNTawa seaanr, New van linai.....,) t. ijji, . S Crescent BAKING POWDER WILL DO ALL THAT Uil HIGH PRICED rOVVDEt WILL 00 AM) ton mm A FULL POUND 25c Get it from your Grocer Quality More Converts Every Year Every day in every year that comes, more house wives are giving up their exorbitant priced Baking Pojivders and turning to K C, the honest and reliable, which has stood so well the test of years. They are fflfiM if! .BAKING.. v.uai3 uuc uuru uic prrcc ui jpuwuer any', where near K C quality, and makes better, purer, more healthful baking. i aw" f 23 Oances lor 23 Cents Perfect Results r-.-t., :! i c. r i 4