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About Illinois Valley news. (Cave City, Or.) 1937-current | View Entire Issue (July 21, 1949)
Illinois V alley News, T hursday, July 21, 1949 SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS DON'T SHOOT FIRST BASEMAN UNLESS . . . Childhood Memories Drive Batter Berserk . . . YOU WISH TO BE SWITCHED TO THE MINORS By H. I. PHILLIPS A PSYCHIATRIC EXAM < E lm e r .—W hat play? position d id ------------ “ --------------------------------------------------------------- you Y ou shot a b a llp la y e r and can go E lm e r —G oody! G oody! Can I to prison. have m y gun back? D o c to r.—1 was a southpaw p itc h E lm e r .—Do they put people in D o cto r.— P ro b a b ly, b u t we m ay e r in m y college days. p riso n fo r shooting b a llp la ye rs? have to sw itch you to some other D o c to r.—I f the y d id n 't some clubs league! E lm e r.—T h a t does I t! I m ust w o uld be bum ped off in a single have m y gun back . . . Please, • • • aftern oon . Now, liste n, th e re m u st m y gun! . . . I t rests m y P resident T ru m a n says the re Is nerves so! be a p sych op athic reason lo r w h at no depression. I f you are out ol you d id . As a c h ild how was y o u r w o rk it is a ll a red h e rrin g . D o c to r.—Q u ie tl I ’m tr y in g to hom e life , and yo u ’d b e tte r m a ke • • • help you out o f a ve ry serious ja m . it bad. Was the re , fo r instance M ilto n B erle and his fo rm e r w ife e ve r a C h ristm a s when y o u r fo lks Joyce M atthew s, separated in 1947 spent $5 on y o u r b ro th e r fo r a fir s t basem an's m it t and only $2 on you were re m a rrie d the o th e r da y . . The cerem ony was d isa p p o in tin g to fo r a book? E lm e r .—T h a t could have done It. us as no Texaco q u a rte tte showed up to sing the w edding m a rc h . . —o— I t was one tim e on a B e rle p ro D o c to r.— D id yo u r fa th e r e ve r g ra m where the o th e r p e rfo rm e r read the baseball su m m a rie s got equal b illin g . . . E v e ry th in g aloud? D id you eve r liv e in w ent off sm oo th ly. S u rro ga te B ill B ro o k ly n back in the days of Collins, who presided, re fra in in g those e c c e n tric in fie ld s ? Was fro m opening the ritu a l w ith "T e ll an ybo dy in y o u r fa m ily a base ya what I'm gonna do.'* b a ll fa n a tic? • • • E lm e r .—I had an uncle who used to re c ite th a t C ostello th in g en VANISHING AMERICANISMS! HEY sought the Maker’s healing touch, title d "W h o ’ s on F ir s t? ” " A ll I need is steady w o rk to D o c to r.—Good. I ' l l m ake a note They followed Him down lane and field, have a good bank account.” of tha t. In yo u r In fa n cy w ere you And every ailing, seeking one e ve r chased w ith a b a ll bat fo r not "W e 'll give you one m on th free do in g y o u r hom ew ork? Who came to Him was healed. ren t d u rin g a lte ra tio n s .” E lm e r .—I seem to re m e m b e r _ • som e th in g lik e th a t. And I re c a ll "B o y s ' S uits! N o th in g ove r $12.” O Mafter, Still today we come. Crisp and Contrasty th a t as a little c h ild I was ta u g h t to w a lk too e a rly . I developed an TUST the thing to have ready 1 he great throngs down the earthly roads, “ L e t’s liv e w ith in o u r in co m e .” ave rsio n to w alks. when school bells rin g —a dain 11-18 We bear our sorrow and our pain, D o c to r.—T h a t w ould e xp la in it if ty yoked dress fo r young g irls •‘I ’ ve got 50 d o lla rs ; le t’s go to you shot a p itch e r. In school d id Nice for Special th a t’s d e lig h tfu lly easy to sew. We Stoop beneath our heavy loads. you eve r have a teacher who wore a n ig h tc lu b ." Have the yoke in contrast and lì TJR ETTY ar.d demure, yet nice | . . . a m ask and chest p ro te cto r? * enough fo r special dates is this finish w ith crisp ru fflin g . When th a t new S he rw o od-B e rlin E lm e r .—No, b u t I had a k in d e r We pray, and often grief is Stilled, , unior frock w ith its crisp white g a rte n p rin c ip a l who c a rrie d a m usical opens in New Y o rk the cry P a t t e r n No. 8415 c o m e s ln s iz e s 6. 8, 10. c o lla r and tin y puffed sleeves T ry And pain becomes a Strange, paSt thing; saw ed-off bat and insisted he had of the seat seekers m a y be "G iv e 12 a n d 14 y e a r s . S ize 8. 27« y a r d s of 39 a gay flow er printed fa b ric and in c h : V« y a r d c o n tr a s t. me L ib e rty o r g ive m e K iss Me been ordered to bunt. Our loads are lifted, many times add narrow ribbon bows fo r ac SEW ING C IRCLE PA T T E R N D E PT . D o c to r.—In y o u r im m a tu re years K ate ” cent. Even from our remembering. 580 South W ells St C h lraco 7, III- d id you ever p la y softba ll? E n c lo s e 25 c e n ts In c o in s fo r e a c h E lm e r —Yes. I was such a poor , . P ? J t e r n N o 8404 ls ln s lz e s 11. 12. 13, p a tte r n d e s ir e d 14 18 a n d 18. S iz e 12. 4 ’ - y a r d s of 36 or h itte r I never got to fir s t except Baccalaureate 3 9 -ln c n ; V« y a r d c o n tr a s t . And these are miracles as great -S iz e - G entlem en o f the classes o f 1949: when h it by the p itch e r. And I T h e F a ll a n d W in te r F A S H IO N o ffe rs As those far ones on sea and land. I am going to scrap the p la ti 84 p a g e s of s m a r t n e w s ty le s , s p e c ia l n e ve r got to second because there s ig n s ; tip s on f a b r ic s — f r e e p a tte r n tudes, ig n o re the old rh e to ric a l p a t p d r e in w a sn 't a .300 h itte r on the team . t e d In sid e th e book. S e n d 25 c e n ts All healing, all release, dear Lord, terns and skip a n yth in g rese m bling to d a y . D o cto r.— Now i t ’s a ll cle a r. baloney balonus. Comes from Lhy hand, Thy unseen hand I f you eve r w ere to get to second base you knew you I t w ill be a n o velty, I am sure, w ould have to shoot the fir s t to hear a baccalaure ate a little d if baseinan . . . The idea took pos fe re n t fro m the one d e live re d last session o f you! . . . I t becam e ye a r. I g ive you these three all- an urg e! . . . You cou ld n’t re im p o rta n t w ords o f three and four sist it ! , . , We can e xp la in le tte rs w h ich ra te p a ra m o u n t im e v e ry th in g to the co u rt. You portance in the stru g g le ahead: a re as good as free. 'Use y o u r h e a d !" “ Why, when I was your age,” (W here in E lm e r T w itc h e lL h a v in g shot a fir s t basem an, is ques tioned fo r reasons.) D o cto r.—Now, then, I w a n t you to re la x and le t y o u r thoughts ru n fre e ly. E lm e r.—A re you a good p s y c h i a tris t? D o cto r.— Yes, I never played fir s t base in m y life . % f Junior Style Has Quaint Charm Girls' School and Party Dress S ' 8404 une The Fiction BEST ALIBI ★ ★ Richard Corner STAGE SCREEN RADIO l ^ A X S A N D E R S ’ hom e had been “ “ robbed o f Jewels value d at $50,000. The je w e ls were ke p t In a I T 'S NO W O N DER th a t Ben w a ll safe behind a p ic tu re in M a x ’ s “ G ra u e r is regarded ns the o u t study, w h ich was located on the standing special events re p o rte r in second flo o r of his B e v e rly H ills ra d io and tele visio n. S ta rtin g as an home. In sp e cto r R ay B ea tty was as announcer, he was sw itched by NBC to special events re p o rtin g signed to the case. Leo M acD ou gal, a police o ffic e r, and clim b e d to the top of the heap who had been lie has covered e v e ry th in g fro m sum m oned fro m p re s id e n tia l in a u g u ra tio n s to g o lf m atches. i ’\ ' sessions to e clip his beat, showed In sp e cto r B e a tty In B ra z il, is m uch sought a fte r as t h e evidence tha t had thus fa r been d iscove red F ir s t the re was a la d d e r placed ag ainst a w indo w th a t opened in to a second flo o r ha ll. T his w indow had been d iscove red open. Insp ector B e a tty to ld M acD ougal to sum m on a ll the servants. Then he questioned them . They a ll had good excuses. Sid F irb u sh . a secre ta ry , had spent the n ig h t a t the m ovies w ith a frie n d . E d w a rd s, the b u tle r, had rea d in his room un til M r. and M rs. Sanders re tu rn e d fro m a p a rty , when he a d m itte d them . It was rig h t a fte r tha t, th a t M rs. Sanders w ent to the safe to replace the Jewels she had w orn, and found the oth ers gone. BEN G RAVER M a rth a G reene, the housekeeper, em cee fo r ra d io and tele visio n had been in her room a ll evening shows. P le asing m icro pho ne p e r H er room was located on the sec- >nd flo o r She had gone dow n to s o n a lity and "th e g ift of g a b " have helped m ake h im a success, but the the kitc h e n a b o u t 10 o 'c lo c k fo r i b ite to eat and found V iola M at- m o st im p o rta n t fa c to r is his pro on, the m aid, th e re w ith h e r boy fou nd know ledge of p o litics, sports, R e tu rn in g . M a rth a had psychology, science. lite ra tu re - - frie n d p ra c tic a lly e v e ry th in g he needs to passed E d w a rd s ’ roo m and seen E d w ards s ittin g by his table, re a d in g know T.NSPECTOR B E A T T Y dism issed the serva nts and w ent back to P au le tte G oddard says that die study He exa m in ed e ve ry inch c u rve s are com ing back into I I of It. Then he w ent in to the h a ll ahion. so fa r as the g irls of the and exa m in e d tha t. He also ex- c o u n try a re concerned, bee ause an in ed the w indow and the la d d e r m en lik e w o m e n ly wom en Pau lette and the ground below the w indow has p ra c tic e d w hat she preac hes; It had raine d a little the n ig h t be she put on 10 pounds fo r her role fore and he found some fo o tp rin ts as the w a y w a rd heroine o f Co lum - beside the la dd er. They looked lik e bia s "A n n a L u c a s ta " to m ake the m e n ’s fo o tp rin ts la d y a llu rin g , says she looks and In sp e cto r B e a tty sought out Sid feels so w e ll she's going to keep F irb u s h He asked the s e c re ta ry If th e m . M ax Sanders held business C onfer ences ln his study F irb u s h said th a t he did. When a d ra m a in CHS’ "G ree n "T h e chance« are. then, tha t L a m a ” senes in clud ed tw o f< - i h r'« had occasion to open the nin e suspects nam ed Susan and safe when other« w ere pres L e s lie o n ly a few of the in tim a te e n t? ” frie n d s o f w r ite r W illia m F roug " I t 's q u ite lik e ly .” kne w th a t he was announcing the "1 w ant as com plete a lis t as you b ir th of his da ug hter, Susan Leslie. can m ake m e o f a ll the people yo u ’ ve known to be In the study 100.000 gallons o f w a te r and nine d u rin g the past m o n th ." da ys' w o rk by m ore than 100 te ch In sp e cto r B e a tty le ft Sid F irb u s h n icia n s pro du ced the clo u d b u rst m a k in g out the lis t, sum m oned w h ich m enaces M a rg u e rite C hap M acD ou gal and went down the h a ll m a n and litt le N a ta lie W o.xl in He entered on« door a fte r the next, "T h e G reen P ro m is e "—a ll done on fir s t kno ckin g to m ake sure the a huge stage. Indoors, at RKO. room was em p ty. P re se n tly he re tu rn e d to the ha ll, be a rin g a p a ir < BY IN E Z GERHARD Uncle Pete sounded off, “ I got me a jo b in a grocery store, worked at fo u r dollars a week fo r six By years u ntil I had enough money to buy the store. T hat goes to show H Wilkinson you w hat hard w ork and am bition w ill do fo r a man. Why can’t you go out and duplicate th a t? ” " W e ll," said Julius, shaking his know tha t? You head as if fru stra te d , “ these mod to. W hat I cap ern cash registers are p re tty hard one cam e up the to beat.” shoes. "H o w do you C a rry in g the shoes he re tu rn e d can’t pro ve it . ” to the study and asked F irb u s h if ” 1 w on’t have they w ere his shoes. p ro ve is th a t no "W h y , yes,' said F irbu sh. "W hy? la dd er. I t ra in e d last n ig h t. There W here d id you get th e m ? " was m ud. T h e re 's m ud on you i "O u t of you r closet. I shoes. The shoes f i t the fo o tp rin ts ! searched the closets of a ll the a t the foo t o f the ladder. Y et there serva nts t ill I found a p a ir of is no m ud at a ll on the run gs of the shoes w ith some m ud on the ladder. I f th e re had been I would soles. I t was you who co m have p ro b a b ly been fooled and noi m itte d the ro b b e ry ." been sure th a t some one inside com “ Y o u ’ re crazy. T h a t’s a cock m itte d the th e ft. Besides you had Fish today, but not tom orrow . eyed the ory. The robber cam e up the best a lib i. I checked w ith the To rem ove the odor c l fish from the la d d e r.” m an w ith w hom you said you at a dish cloth, boil the cloth fo r five "N o .” said In sp e cto r B eatty, tended the m ovie. He broke down m inutes in a solution of one table- " t h a t ’ s only w hat you expected us and confessed e v e ry th in g ." blespoon of baking soda to one to believe. T h a t's w hy you put the M a cD o u g a l was am azed. A fte r q ua rt of w ater. Rinse in w arm la dd er the re and le ft the w indow w a rds he said to B e a tty : " I d id n ’ t w ater, then cold. open. The ro b b e ry was c o m m itte d know you checked w ith F irb u s h 's before you placed the ladder frie n d When did th a t happen?” D entist no boogie man. I f moth th e re .” " I t d id n ’t , ” said B eatty. ID crossword puzzli LAST WEEKS ANSWER ACROSS 2 E n tire 21 Cushlon 1. Praise am o un t 24. Décim al 5 Antelopes 3. Em ploye u n it (T ib e t l 4. D ishearten 26 Chinese 9. O th erw ise 5. S a ilo r s ilk 10. Le a th e r (sla n g ) 27. F u n e ra l flask fo r oil 6. W ide- pile 11. M e ta l ta g m outhed 29 Indéhiscent 12. Explosion f r u it Ju» 14 Music note 7. A rm a d illo 30. A t a 15 S titc h 3. A n distance 17 Sandarao E ast 31. E stim â te s A n i w t r to P a t i l « N o tree Asian herb the w o rth o f 18 W ayside 11. M elody 40 E g y p tia n 33. D o ctrine s hotel 13. T ram pled 34. Perceive dancing g ir l 20 M ale sheep 16. Good- 41. Search by the 22 M olvhde- 43. C a rried on hum ored, ear num isym .) the body practical 37. U tte r« 23. M ine jo k in g 46. Owtng eharp entrance 19 R iver ( A f r .1 48. Sorrow barks 29. T anted 23. Long and 1 X * 1 4 » 3 tiresom e 1 30. H ig h w a y (• 32. Curve 1 35 M usic not« if 1 36. A tte m p t 38 Before 4 1 y? / •7 ■4 39 Expression o f s orro w M i B % !■ • 4 0 Zl 12 42. An evergreen tree 21 24 2* 27 2> 44 W a te r god M i B ab yl.) ce 24 45 M arked w ith zyZ lines U li U M 47. W eaken 7/7. 49 O s trlc h -llk « M r 1» >7 »* M b ird 50 Poke 14 4 c 44 44 42 *1 r 51 Ferm ented liq u o r 4» 47 •4« fro m rlc« (Jap.) 52 Observes DOW N 44 I. A story from the • > put FI ZZLE NO. 3 % Ml W, M »4 11 er w ill take the young child w ith her to the dentist long before he needs to have anything done to his teeth and ju s t le t the dentist look at the youngster’s teeth each tim e, there w ill be no fe ar of the dentist when work m ust re a lly be done _• — Bound to be rig h t. To adjust tie- back cu rta ins so they are pinned back at the same distance fro m the s ill on each side, pull down the window shade to the de sired position and use that as a m arker. — • — Somebody spilled the bean»' When food boils over in the oven sprinkle salt over the spilled food I This w ill put an end to unpleasant ! odor and smoke. Then clean the , oven when baking is over. _e __ The tr a y ’s the thing. If th ere ’s an in v a lid in the house, rem em ber I that the hours of the day mean j j little except when the next tra y is brought in. _e __ G lory to B etsy! Have you looked at the m a rk e t basket lately? Bet ter tre a t it to a good scrubbing w ith hot soap suds. When he was inform ed of the untim ely death of one of the boys he had baptized the aged m in iste r shook his head sadly. "Yes, how well I rem em ber him , ’ he said, “ and I always con nect his am bition w ith his p a l’s shiftlessness. He died young but I im agine he made quite a b it of m oney.” A es, he d id ,” agreed his in form ant, "and he left a very beau tifu l w idow .” “ W ell, that ju s t goes to show the m oral in hard work. The other fellow probably hasn't even got a w ife .” 8 Oh, yes he has,’ ’ the other cor rected him , "h e m a rrie d the hard w o rk e r’s w idow .” The sky was made b righ t by the glare of the blast furnaces as they roared to make steel fo r A m e ri ca s w ar effort. One of the w ork men, begrim ed and tired , was preparing to wash up. As he walked toward the showers an old friend, who was being shown around the plant, stopped him . A fte r the usual w arm greetings the workm an asked the v is ito r how he was m aking m t ‘ ‘Fine, ju s t fine, ’ replied the visitor, “ I'v e been promoted wice in the last eight months. How are you m aking o u t? " “ Oh, I ’ m forging ahead, too,” quipped the workm an. Speaker to President James K. Polk of Tennessee was the only speaker of the house of representatives to become Presi- dent of the United States. Two speakers la te r became vice-presi dent, however, Schuyler Colfax and John N. Garner. Buy U.S.. Savings Bonds! America'» /arortte ready-to-eat rice cereal. Oven-fresh! KeUoçp- freth' Bo crisp they snap! crackle! pop! ln m ilk. NourUhtng. Ooodl K°Æ/£) f A i
