Illinois V alley News, T hursday, July 21, 1949
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS
DON'T SHOOT FIRST BASEMAN UNLESS . . .
Childhood Memories Drive Batter Berserk
. . . YOU WISH TO BE SWITCHED TO THE MINORS
By H. I. PHILLIPS
A PSYCHIATRIC EXAM
<
E lm e r .—W hat
play?
position
d id
------------ “ ---------------------------------------------------------------
you
Y ou shot a b a llp la y e r and can go
E lm e r —G oody! G oody! Can I
to prison.
have m y gun back?
D o c to r.—1 was a southpaw p itc h
E lm e r .—Do they put people in
D o cto r.— P ro b a b ly, b u t we m ay
e r in m y college days.
p riso n fo r shooting b a llp la ye rs?
have to sw itch you to some other
D o c to r.—I f the y d id n 't some clubs league!
E lm e r.—T h a t does I t! I m ust
w o uld be bum ped off in a single
have m y gun back . . . Please,
• • •
aftern oon . Now, liste n, th e re m u st
m y gun! . . .
I t rests m y
P resident T ru m a n says the re Is
nerves so!
be a p sych op athic reason lo r w h at
no depression. I f you are out ol
you d id . As a c h ild how was y o u r w o rk it is a ll a red h e rrin g .
D o c to r.—Q u ie tl
I ’m
tr y in g
to hom e life , and yo u ’d b e tte r m a ke
• • •
help you out o f a ve ry serious ja m . it bad.
Was the re , fo r instance
M
ilto
n
B
erle
and his fo rm e r w ife
e ve r a C h ristm a s when y o u r fo lks
Joyce
M
atthew
s,
separated in 1947
spent $5 on y o u r b ro th e r fo r a fir s t
basem an's m it t and only $2 on you were re m a rrie d the o th e r da y . .
The cerem ony was d isa p p o in tin g to
fo r a book?
E lm e r .—T h a t could have done It. us as no Texaco q u a rte tte showed
up to sing the w edding m a rc h . .
—o—
I t was one tim e on a B e rle p ro
D o c to r.— D id yo u r fa th e r e ve r
g ra m where the o th e r p e rfo rm e r
read the baseball su m m a rie s
got equal b illin g . . . E v e ry th in g
aloud? D id you eve r liv e in
w ent off sm oo th ly. S u rro ga te B ill
B ro o k ly n back in the days of
Collins, who presided, re fra in in g
those e c c e n tric in fie ld s ? Was
fro m opening the ritu a l w ith "T e ll
an ybo dy in y o u r fa m ily a base
ya what I'm gonna do.'*
b a ll fa n a tic?
• • •
E lm e r .—I had an uncle who used
to re c ite th a t C ostello th in g en VANISHING AMERICANISMS!
HEY sought the Maker’s healing touch,
title d "W h o ’ s on F ir s t? ”
" A ll I need is steady w o rk to
D o c to r.—Good. I ' l l m ake a note
They followed Him down lane and field,
have a good bank account.”
of tha t. In yo u r In fa n cy w ere you
And every ailing, seeking one
e ve r chased w ith a b a ll bat fo r not
"W e 'll give you one m on th free
do in g y o u r hom ew ork?
Who came to Him was healed.
ren t d u rin g a lte ra tio n s .”
E lm e r .—I seem to re m e m b e r
_ •
som e th in g lik e th a t. And I re c a ll
"B o y s ' S uits! N o th in g ove r $12.”
O Mafter, Still today we come.
Crisp and Contrasty
th a t as a little c h ild I was ta u g h t
to
w
a
lk
too
e
a
rly
.
I
developed
an
TUST
the thing to have ready
1 he great throngs down the earthly roads,
“ L e t’s liv e w ith in o u r in co m e .”
ave rsio n to w alks.
when
school bells rin g —a dain
11-18
We bear our sorrow and our pain,
D o c to r.—T h a t w ould e xp la in it if
ty yoked dress fo r young g irls
•‘I ’ ve got 50 d o lla rs ; le t’s go to
you shot a p itch e r. In school d id
Nice for Special
th a t’s d e lig h tfu lly easy to sew.
We Stoop beneath our heavy loads.
you eve r have a teacher who wore a n ig h tc lu b ."
Have
the yoke in contrast and
lì
TJR
ETTY
ar.d
demure,
yet
nice
|
. . .
a m ask and chest p ro te cto r?
*
enough fo r special dates is this finish w ith crisp ru fflin g .
When th a t new S he rw o od-B e rlin
E lm e r .—No, b u t I had a k in d e r
We pray, and often grief is Stilled,
, unior frock w ith its crisp white
g a rte n p rin c ip a l who c a rrie d a m usical opens in New Y o rk the cry
P a t t e r n No. 8415 c o m e s ln s iz e s 6. 8, 10.
c o lla r and tin y puffed sleeves T ry
And pain becomes a Strange, paSt thing;
saw ed-off bat and insisted he had of the seat seekers m a y be "G iv e
12 a n d 14 y e a r s . S ize 8. 27« y a r d s of 39
a gay flow er printed fa b ric and in c h : V« y a r d c o n tr a s t.
me
L
ib
e
rty
o
r
g
ive
m
e
K
iss
Me
been
ordered
to
bunt.
Our loads are lifted, many times
add narrow ribbon bows fo r ac
SEW ING C IRCLE PA T T E R N D E PT .
D o c to r.—In y o u r im m a tu re years K ate ”
cent.
Even from our remembering.
580 South W ells St
C h lraco 7, III-
d id you ever p la y softba ll?
E n c lo s e 25 c e n ts In c o in s fo r e a c h
E lm e r —Yes. I was such a poor
, . P ? J t e r n N o 8404 ls ln s lz e s 11. 12. 13,
p a tte r n d e s ir e d
14 18 a n d 18. S iz e 12. 4 ’ - y a r d s of 36 or
h itte r I never got to fir s t except Baccalaureate
3 9 -ln c n ; V« y a r d c o n tr a s t .
And these are miracles as great
-S iz e -
G entlem en o f the classes o f 1949:
when h it by the p itch e r. And I
T h e F a ll a n d W in te r F A S H IO N o ffe rs
As those far ones on sea and land.
I am going to scrap the p la ti 84 p a g e s of s m a r t n e w s ty le s , s p e c ia l
n e ve r got to second because there
s ig n s ; tip s on f a b r ic s — f r e e p a tte r n
tudes, ig n o re the old rh e to ric a l p a t p d r e in
w a sn 't a .300 h itte r on the team .
t e d In sid e th e book. S e n d 25 c e n ts
All healing, all release, dear Lord,
terns and skip a n yth in g rese m bling to d a y .
D o cto r.— Now i t ’s a ll cle a r.
baloney
balonus.
Comes from Lhy hand, Thy unseen hand
I f you eve r w ere to get to
second base you knew you
I t w ill be a n o velty, I am sure,
w ould have to shoot the fir s t
to hear a baccalaure ate a little d if
baseinan . . . The idea took pos
fe re n t fro m the one d e live re d last
session o f you! . . . I t becam e
ye a r. I g ive you these three all-
an urg e! . . . You cou ld n’t re
im p o rta n t w ords o f three and four
sist it ! , . , We can e xp la in
le tte rs w h ich ra te p a ra m o u n t im
e v e ry th in g to the co u rt. You
portance in the stru g g le ahead:
a re as good as free.
'Use y o u r h e a d !"
“ Why, when I was your age,”
(W here in E lm e r T w itc h e lL h a v
in g shot a fir s t basem an, is ques
tioned fo r reasons.)
D o cto r.—Now, then, I w a n t you
to re la x and le t y o u r thoughts ru n
fre e ly.
E lm e r.—A re you a good p s y c h i
a tris t?
D o cto r.— Yes,
I
never
played
fir s t base in m y life .
%
f
Junior Style Has Quaint Charm
Girls' School and Party Dress
S '
8404
une
The
Fiction
BEST ALIBI
★
★
Richard
Corner
STAGE SCREEN RADIO
l ^ A X S A N D E R S ’ hom e had been
“ “ robbed o f Jewels value d at
$50,000. The je w e ls were ke p t In a
I T 'S
NO
W O N DER
th a t
Ben w a ll safe behind a p ic tu re in M a x ’ s
“ G ra u e r is regarded ns the o u t study, w h ich was located on the
standing special events re p o rte r in second flo o r of his B e v e rly H ills
ra d io and tele visio n. S ta rtin g as an home.
In sp e cto r R ay B ea tty was as
announcer, he was sw itched by
NBC to special events re p o rtin g signed to the case. Leo M acD ou gal,
a police o ffic e r,
and clim b e d to the top of the heap
who had
been
lie has covered e v e ry th in g fro m
sum m oned fro m
p re s id e n tia l in a u g u ra tio n s to g o lf
m atches. i ’\ ' sessions to e clip
his beat, showed
In sp e cto r B e a tty
In B ra z il, is m uch sought a fte r as
t h e
evidence
tha t had thus fa r been d iscove red
F ir s t the re was a la d d e r placed
ag ainst a w indo w th a t opened in to
a second flo o r ha ll. T his w indow
had been d iscove red open.
Insp ector B e a tty to ld M acD ougal
to sum m on a ll the servants. Then
he questioned them . They a ll had
good excuses. Sid F irb u sh . a secre
ta ry , had spent the n ig h t a t the
m ovies w ith a frie n d .
E d w a rd s,
the b u tle r, had rea d in his room un
til M r. and M rs. Sanders re tu rn e d
fro m a p a rty , when he a d m itte d
them .
It was rig h t a fte r tha t, th a t
M rs. Sanders w ent to the safe
to replace the Jewels she had
w orn, and found the oth ers
gone.
BEN G RAVER
M a rth a G reene, the housekeeper,
em cee fo r ra d io and tele visio n had been in her room a ll evening
shows. P le asing m icro pho ne p e r H er room was located on the sec-
>nd flo o r She had gone dow n to
s o n a lity and "th e g ift of g a b " have
helped m ake h im a success, but the the kitc h e n a b o u t 10 o 'c lo c k fo r
i b ite to eat and found V iola M at-
m o st im p o rta n t fa c to r is his pro
on, the m aid, th e re w ith h e r boy
fou nd know ledge of p o litics, sports,
R e tu rn in g .
M a rth a
had
psychology,
science.
lite ra tu re - - frie n d
p ra c tic a lly e v e ry th in g he needs to passed E d w a rd s ’ roo m and seen E d
w ards s ittin g by his table, re a d in g
know
T.NSPECTOR B E A T T Y dism issed
the serva nts and w ent back to
P au le tte
G oddard
says
that die study He exa m in ed e ve ry inch
c u rve s are com ing back into I I
of It. Then he w ent in to the h a ll
ahion. so fa r as the g irls of the and exa m in e d tha t. He also ex-
c o u n try a re concerned, bee ause
an in ed the w indow and the la d d e r
m en lik e w o m e n ly wom en Pau lette
and the ground below the w indow
has p ra c tic e d w hat she preac hes;
It had raine d a little the n ig h t be
she put on 10 pounds fo r her role fore and he found some fo o tp rin ts
as the w a y w a rd heroine o f Co lum - beside the la dd er. They looked lik e
bia s "A n n a L u c a s ta " to m ake the m e n ’s fo o tp rin ts
la d y a llu rin g , says she looks and
In sp e cto r B e a tty sought out Sid
feels so w e ll she's going to keep F irb u s h He asked the s e c re ta ry If
th e m .
M ax Sanders held business C onfer
ences ln his study
F irb u s h said
th a t he did.
When a d ra m a in CHS’ "G ree n
"T h e chance« are. then, tha t
L a m a ” senes in clud ed tw o f< - i
h r'« had occasion to open the
nin e suspects nam ed Susan and
safe when other« w ere pres
L e s lie o n ly a few of the in tim a te
e n t? ”
frie n d s o f w r ite r W illia m F roug
" I t 's q u ite lik e ly .”
kne w th a t he was announcing the
"1 w ant as com plete a lis t as you
b ir th of his da ug hter, Susan Leslie.
can m ake m e o f a ll the people
yo u ’ ve known to be In the study
100.000 gallons o f w a te r and nine d u rin g the past m o n th ."
da ys' w o rk by m ore than 100 te ch
In sp e cto r B e a tty le ft Sid F irb u s h
n icia n s pro du ced the clo u d b u rst m a k in g out the lis t, sum m oned
w h ich m enaces M a rg u e rite C hap M acD ou gal and went down the h a ll
m a n and litt le N a ta lie W o.xl in He entered on« door a fte r the next,
"T h e G reen P ro m is e "—a ll done on fir s t kno ckin g to m ake sure the
a huge stage. Indoors, at RKO.
room was em p ty. P re se n tly he re
tu rn e d to the ha ll, be a rin g a p a ir <
BY
IN E Z
GERHARD
Uncle Pete sounded off, “ I got me
a jo b in a grocery store, worked
at fo u r dollars a week fo r six
By
years u ntil I had enough money to
buy the store. T hat goes to show
H Wilkinson
you w hat hard w ork and am bition
w ill do fo r a man. Why can’t you
go out and duplicate th a t? ”
" W e ll," said Julius, shaking his
know tha t?
You
head as if fru stra te d , “ these mod
to. W hat I cap ern cash registers are p re tty hard
one cam e up the to beat.”
shoes.
"H o w do you
C a rry in g the shoes he re tu rn e d can’t pro ve it . ”
to the study and asked F irb u s h if
” 1 w on’t have
they w ere his shoes.
p ro ve is th a t no
"W h y , yes,' said F irbu sh. "W hy? la dd er. I t ra in e d last n ig h t. There
W here d id you get th e m ? "
was m ud. T h e re 's m ud on you i
"O u t
of
you r
closet.
I
shoes. The shoes f i t the fo o tp rin ts !
searched the closets of a ll the
a t the foo t o f the ladder. Y et there
serva nts t ill I found a p a ir of
is no m ud at a ll on the run gs of the
shoes w ith some m ud on the
ladder. I f th e re had been I would
soles. I t was you who co m
have p ro b a b ly been fooled and noi
m itte d the ro b b e ry ."
been sure th a t some one inside com
“ Y o u ’ re crazy. T h a t’s a cock m itte d the th e ft. Besides you had
Fish today, but not tom orrow .
eyed the ory. The robber cam e up the best a lib i. I checked w ith the To rem ove the odor c l fish from
the la d d e r.”
m an w ith w hom you said you at a dish cloth, boil the cloth fo r five
"N o .”
said
In sp e cto r
B eatty, tended the m ovie. He broke down m inutes in a solution of one table-
" t h a t ’ s only w hat you expected us and confessed e v e ry th in g ."
blespoon of baking soda to one
to believe. T h a t's w hy you put the
M a cD o u g a l was am azed. A fte r q ua rt of w ater. Rinse in w arm
la dd er the re and le ft the w indow w a rds he said to B e a tty : " I d id n ’ t w ater, then cold.
open. The ro b b e ry was c o m m itte d know you checked w ith F irb u s h 's
before
you
placed
the
ladder frie n d When did th a t happen?”
D entist no boogie man. I f moth
th e re .”
" I t d id n ’t , ” said B eatty.
ID
crossword puzzli
LAST
WEEKS
ANSWER
ACROSS
2 E n tire
21 Cushlon
1. Praise
am o un t
24. Décim al
5 Antelopes
3. Em ploye
u n it
(T ib e t l
4. D ishearten 26 Chinese
9. O th erw ise
5. S a ilo r
s ilk
10. Le a th e r
(sla n g )
27. F u n e ra l
flask fo r oil
6. W ide-
pile
11. M e ta l ta g
m outhed
29 Indéhiscent
12. Explosion
f r u it
Ju»
14 Music note
7. A rm a d illo
30. A t a
15 S titc h
3. A n
distance
17 Sandarao
E ast
31. E stim â te s
A n i w t r to P a t i l « N o
tree
Asian herb
the w o rth o f
18 W ayside
11. M elody
40 E g y p tia n
33. D o ctrine s
hotel
13. T ram pled
34. Perceive
dancing g ir l
20 M ale sheep 16. Good-
41. Search
by the
22 M olvhde-
43. C a rried on
hum ored,
ear
num isym .)
the body
practical
37. U tte r«
23. M ine
jo k in g
46. Owtng
eharp
entrance
19 R iver ( A f r .1
48. Sorrow
barks
29. T anted
23. Long and
1
X
*
1
4
»
3
tiresom e
1
30. H ig h w a y
(•
32. Curve
1
35 M usic not«
if
1
36. A tte m p t
38 Before
4
1
y? / •7
■4
39 Expression
o f s orro w
M
i
B
% !■
• 4
0
Zl
12
42. An evergreen
tree
21
24
2*
27
2>
44 W a te r god
M
i B ab yl.)
ce
24
45 M arked w ith
zyZ
lines
U
li
U
M
47. W eaken
7/7.
49 O s trlc h -llk «
M
r
1»
>7
»*
M
b ird
50 Poke
14
4 c 44
44
42
*1
r
51 Ferm ented
liq u o r
4»
47
•4«
fro m rlc«
(Jap.)
52 Observes
DOW N
44
I. A story
from the
• >
put
FI ZZLE NO. 3
%
Ml
W,
M
»4
11
er w ill take the young child w ith
her to the dentist long before he
needs to have anything done to his
teeth and ju s t le t the dentist look
at the youngster’s teeth each tim e,
there w ill be no fe ar of the dentist
when work m ust re a lly be done
_• —
Bound to be rig h t. To adjust tie-
back
cu rta ins
so
they
are
pinned back at the same distance
fro m the s ill on each side, pull
down the window shade to the de
sired position and use that as a
m arker.
— • —
Somebody spilled the bean»'
When food boils over in the oven
sprinkle salt over the spilled food
I This w ill put an end to unpleasant
! odor and smoke. Then clean the
, oven when baking is over.
_e __
The tr a y ’s the thing. If th ere ’s
an in v a lid in the house, rem em ber I
that the hours of the day mean j
j little except when the next tra y
is brought in.
_e __
G lory to B etsy! Have you looked
at the m a rk e t basket lately? Bet
ter tre a t it to a good scrubbing
w ith hot soap suds.
When he was inform ed of the
untim ely death of one of the boys
he had baptized the aged m in iste r
shook his head sadly.
"Yes, how well I rem em ber
him , ’ he said, “ and I always con
nect his am bition w ith his p a l’s
shiftlessness. He died young but
I im agine he made quite a b it of
m oney.”
A es, he d id ,” agreed his in
form ant, "and he left a very beau
tifu l w idow .”
“ W ell, that ju s t goes to show
the m oral in hard work. The other
fellow probably hasn't even got a
w ife .”
8
Oh, yes he has,’ ’ the other cor
rected him , "h e m a rrie d the hard
w o rk e r’s w idow .”
The sky was made b righ t by the
glare of the blast furnaces as they
roared to make steel fo r A m e ri
ca s w ar effort. One of the w ork
men, begrim ed and tired , was
preparing to wash up. As he
walked toward the showers an old
friend, who was being shown
around the plant, stopped him .
A fte r the usual w arm greetings
the workm an asked the v is ito r
how he was m aking m t
‘ ‘Fine, ju s t fine, ’ replied the
visitor, “ I'v e been promoted wice
in the last eight months. How are
you m aking o u t? "
“ Oh, I ’ m forging ahead, too,”
quipped the workm an.
Speaker to President
James K. Polk of Tennessee was
the only speaker of the house of
representatives to become Presi-
dent of the United States. Two
speakers la te r became vice-presi
dent, however, Schuyler Colfax
and John N. Garner.
Buy U.S.. Savings Bonds!
America'» /arortte ready-to-eat
rice cereal. Oven-fresh! KeUoçp-
freth' Bo crisp they snap! crackle!
pop! ln m ilk. NourUhtng. Ooodl
K°Æ/£) f A i