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THE BULLETIN • WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 2022 A7 DEAR ABBY Write to Dear Abby online at dearabby.com or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 Dear Abby: I have been married for 17 years with three great kids. My wife and I have struggled on and off during those 17 years. I of- ten feel like maybe I don’t love her. We are complete opposites. I’m adventurous, daring and extroverted. She denies me sex a lot. This last time was for four months. During that time, I met someone who has the same adventurous spirit as I do. We have hung out and we text often. She’s currently get- ting a divorce. I’m falling for her and I have expressed it to her. She likes me, but she doesn’t want a relationship right now because she isn’t sure what she really wants. She’s also afraid we both won’t really leave our spouses if we start something. I stopped texting her, but she said she will wait for me. How do I manage this because I’m hurting in my marriage and hurting by not texting her? — Torn In Ohio Dear Torn: Inform your wife that the current status of your marriage is no longer acceptable. Denying marital relations appears to be her way of punishing you, which is unfair, so offer her the op- tion of marriage counseling. If she refuses, I hope you will go alone to help you decide rationally which, if any, next steps you want to take. If you decide to leave your marriage, there is no guarantee the woman you have been seeing will follow through with her divorce, but let her know what your plans are. I should add that for many people, the first rela- tionship after a divorce does not lead to marriage, if you’re contemplating jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Dear Abby: I was a birth mom 45 years ago. My mother forced me to give up my child at birth. Not one person supported my wish to keep my child. My heart and mind screamed, “No, don’t do it!” Now, the birth father says he’s sorry because he’s having serious health prob- lems and thinks he could be dying. I have forgiven every- one involved, over and over. But I’ve lived with depression, PTSD, etc., all these years and I cry about it still. The older I get, the more loss I feel. I found my adult child 15 years ago. It started out OK and went downhill from there. My heart aches so much to have a connection with this child of mine. I’m shutting down inside while still waiting. I’m too tired to keep going on. My dreams are gone. My hopes are shat- tered. I’m ready to curl up and die. What can I do? — Destroyed In Washington Dear Destroyed: I am sorry for your overwhelm- ing pain. What you need to do — and quickly, before you shut down further — is summon the strength to seek help from a licensed mental health professional. Forty-five years ago, atti- tudes about out-of-wedlock births were far different than they are today. Neither you nor the father of that child were equipped to properly care for the baby. Because you have forgiven everyone else over and over, it is time to find a way to forgive your- self and put a stop to your endless grieving. YOUR HOROSCOPE By Georgia Nicols Stars show the kind of day you’ll have DYNAMIC | POSITIVE | AVERAGE | SO-SO | DIFFICULT MOON ALERT: There are no restrictions to shopping or important deci- sions today. The Moon is in Virgo. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 2022: You are wise because you learn from your experiences. You are hardworking, independent and strive to create a secure foundation for yourself in life. This year will bring exciting changes and freedom . It’s time to let go of what is blocking your progress, which might create some stress. Stay focused! ARIES (March 21-April 19) You might learn about some ancient or modern ideas that could impact your health today. Meanwhile, something unexpected might affect your job, especially with respect to technology and computers. Expect a few hiccups, delays and surprises to your day. Tonight: You’re energized. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Parents should know that this is a mildly accident-prone day for their kids. Meanwhile, you’re in the mood for adventure and fun! A surprise invitation might come your way. Sports might take an unexpected turn. Romance and social outings will be stimulating. Tonight: Solitude. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Your home routine might be interrupted today. Perhaps a small ap- pliance will break down or a minor breakage could occur. Meanwhile, a fam- ily member might have surprising news. Or they might do something unex- pected that will throw you a curveball. Get ready. Tonight: Enjoy friends. CANCER (June 21-July 22) This is a mildly accident-prone day, so pay attention to every- thing you say and do. Nevertheless, this is an energetic day because you are pumped and ready for action. You are mentally alert and keen to learn new things. Expect to meet new faces and see new places. Tonight: Talk to the boss. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Keep an eye on your money scene, because things are a bit un- predictable today. For example, you might find money or you might lose money. Likewise, be smart and protect your belongings against loss, theft or damage. Listen to your moneymaking ideas! Tonight: Explore! VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Today the Moon is in your sign dancing with unpredictable Uranus, which makes you crave emotional excitement! You want to shake things up a little and break free from your daily routine. Admittedly, you might be a bit impulsive. Think twice before you act irrationally or do some- thing you might later regret. Tonight: Check your finances. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Today you might prefer to work alone or behind the scenes. You’ve been working hard lately as well as being involved with kids and social issues. Nevertheless, something unexpected might catch you off guard today or by surprise. Steady as she goes. Tonight: Get some rest. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) A friend might surprise you today. Alternatively, you might meet someone new who is a real character or perhaps someone who is different or avant-garde. You also might be surprised by a group of people. Perhaps they want to go in a direction you didn’t expect. For that matter, are these your people? Tonight: Work. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Something related to authority figures — the police, parents, bosses, teachers or VIPs — will catch you off guard today. (“Busted!”) Do be aware of this in case you have something to hide. Don’t be too ready to rebel, be- cause you might regret this. Meanwhile, never underestimate the power of courtesy. Tonight: Play! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Travel plans might suddenly change today. They could be delayed or canceled or, vice versa, you might have to travel when you did not expect to do so. This is a classic day to advocate new policies or a change of rules or a change to the law. “To the gates!” Tonight: Cocoon at home. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Check your banking records and keep on track of red-tape issues related to taxes, debt and shared property, because something unexpect- ed could impact this part of your life. Stay on top of things. Information is power. You snooze, you lose. Tonight: Talk to others. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Someone close to you or a member of the general public might suggest some unexpected changes today. Possibly this will prompt you to assume a leadership role in order to make things happen. A close friend or partner also might surprise you. Hmmm. Tonight: Maintain your belongings. TODAY IN HISTORY By The Associated Press Today is Wednesday, April 13, the 103rd day of 2022. There are 262 days left in the year. Today’s Highlight in History: In 1970, Apollo 13, four-fifths of the way to the moon, was crippled when a tank containing liquid ox- ygen burst. In 1743, the third president of the United States, Thomas Jefferson, was born in Shadwell in the Vir- ginia Colony. In 1861, at the start of the Civil War, Fort Sumter in South Carolina fell to Confederate forces. In 1943, President Franklin D. Roosevelt dedicated the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C., on the 200th anniversary of the third American president’s birth. In 1953, “Casino Royale,” Ian Flem- ing’s first book as well as the first James Bond novel, was published in London by Jonathan Cape Ltd. In 1964, Sidney Poitier became the first Black performer in a lead- ing role to win an Academy Award for “Lilies of the Field.” In 1997, Tiger Woods became the youngest person to win the Masters Tournament and the first player of partly African heritage to claim a major golf title. In 1999, right-to-die advocate Dr. Jack Kevorkian was sentenced in Pontiac, Michigan, to 10 to 25 years in prison for second-degree murder in the lethal injection of a Lou Gehrig’s disease patient. In 2005, Eric Rudolph pleaded guilty to carrying out the bomb- ing at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics and three other attacks in back- to-back court appearances in Bir- mingham, Alabama, and Atlanta. In 2009, music producer Phil Spector was found guilty by an Los Angeles jury of second-de- gree murder in the shooting of ac- tor Lana Clarkson . In 2011, ousted Egyptian Presi- dent Hosni Mubarak and his two sons were detained for investiga- tion of corruption, abuse of power and killings of protesters. A federal jury in San Francisco convicted baseball slugger Barry Bonds on a charge of obstruction of justice, but failed to reach a verdict on the three counts at the heart of alle- gations that he’d knowingly used steroids and human growth hor- mone and lied to a grand jury . In 2016, the Golden State Warriors became the NBA’s first 73-win team by beating the Memphis Grizzlies 125-104, breaking the 1996 72-win record of the Chicago Bulls. Kobe Bryant of the Lakers scored 60 points in his final game, wrapping up 20 years in the NBA. In 2020, Charles Thacker Jr., a crew member on the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt, died at the U.S. Naval Hospital in Guam, becoming the first active-duty military member to die from the coronavirus. Bernie Sanders urged his supporters to rally behind Joe Biden’s presidential campaign. Ten years ago: President Barack Obama arrived in Cartagena, Co- lombia, to attend the Summit of the Americas; the visit was over- shadowed by a prostitution scan- dal involving a group of Secret Service agents and officers who had gone to Cartagena to prepare for the president’s trip. North Ko- rea’s much-touted satellite launch ended in a nearly $1 billion failure. Jennifer Capriati was elected to the International Tennis Hall of Fame. Five years ago: Pentagon offi- cials said U.S. forces in Afghanistan had struck an Islamic State tunnel complex in eastern Afghanistan with the largest non-nuclear weapon ever used in combat by the U.S. military. One year ago: U.S. health officials recommended a “pause” in use of the single-dose Johnson & John- son COVID-19 vaccine to investi- gate reports of rare but potentially dangerous blood clots, setting off a chain reaction worldwide and dealing a setback to the global vaccination campaign. Today’s Birthdays: Former Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell, R-Colo., is 89. Actor Edward Fox is 85. Ac- tor Paul Sorvino is 83. R&B singer Lester Chambers is 82. Movie-TV composer Bill Conti is 80. Rock musician Jack Casady is 78. Actor Tony Dow is 77. Singer Al Green is 76. Actor Ron Perlman is 72. Actor William Sadler is 72. Singer Peabo Bryson is 71. Bandleader/rock mu- sician Max Weinberg is 71. Blue- grass singer-musician Sam Bush is 70. Rock musician Jimmy Destri is 68. Comedian Gary Kroeger is 65. Actor Saundra Santiago is 65. Sen. Bob Casey Jr., D-Pa., is 62. Chess grandmaster Garry Kasparov is 59. Actor Page Hannah is 58. Actor-co- median Caroline Rhea is 58. Rock musician Marc Ford is 56. Reggae singer Capleton is 55. Actor Ricky Schroder is 52. Rock singer Aaron Lewis is 50. Actor Bokeem Wood- bine is 49. Singer Lou Bega is 47. Actor-producer Glenn Howerton is 46. Actor Kyle Howard is 44. Ac- tor Kelli Giddish is 42. Actor Court- ney Peldon is 41. Pop singer Nellie McKay is 40. Rapper/singer Ty Dolla $ign is 40. Actor Allison Williams is 34. Actor Hannah Marks is 29. Jae C. Hong/AP Scottie Scheffler celebrates after winning the Masters Sunday in Augusta, Georgia. Scheffler Continued from A5 Amazing as what Scheffler has done, it’s too soon to think of him as golf’s next dominant player because no one ever seems to know how long it will last. If anything, it’s an illustra- tion of golf’s parity. It also is a reminder of the Tiger Woods effect, and those ripples stretch even further the longer he is able to play. “I played Tiger’s irons. Wore his shoes. Wore his shirt this week,” Scheffler said. “He is the needle for the game of golf. He has completely changed the PGA Tour from when he came on 25 years ago. And his You- Tube clips are such an inspira- tion for me.” One in particular that stood out to Scheffler was Woods winning his first Masters in 1997, a watershed moment in golf. Woods led by nine going into the final round and never lost focus even as the lead stretched to a record 12 shots. “He never really broke his concentration. That’s some- thing that I reminded myself of today,” Scheffler said Sunday. “I tried to keep my head down and just keep doing what I was doing because I didn’t want to break my concentration.” That only changed when he had a five-shot lead on the 18th green. He four-putted. “Thank you, Tiger,” Schef- fler said with a laugh. The influence has been around since Woods returned NASCAR Continued from A5 Gibbs and Sam Mayer were racing A.J. Allmendinger on the final lap of Friday’s Xfinity Series race with a $100,000 bo- nus on the line. Mayer moved Gibbs out of his way, Gibbs retaliated after the checkered flag and then they brawled on pit road. Gibbs, while still wearing his helmet, threw punches at the unprotected face of his fel- low teen rival. “It’s part of growing up on TV. You’re growing up in the limelight, right?” he said be- fore addressing Gibbs spe- cifically, “it’s a very popular driver. He’s very good, he to No. 1 in the world for the fi- nal time in the spring of 2013 and stayed at the top until the first of five back surgeries. Patrick Reed at the end of 2014 recalled how he grew up studying Woods, particularly his focus. “You could see it just by looking at him in the eyes. If looks could kill, he would literally kill you. He was just so focused and determined to play well,” he said. A year later, Spieth and Day ended 2015 at Nos. 1-2 in the world after their five-win sea- sons, with Rory McIlroy right behind. It felt like the start of a new “Big Three.” It wasn’t, and Spieth said as much while preaching pa- tience and perspective. “In or- der to create an era, you almost need a decade of years like this,” he said then. Spieth and Day became the third and fourth players to reach No. 1 after Woods began his series of back surgeries. Six more players have followed since then: Dustin Johnson, Justin Thomas, Justin Rose, Brooks Koepka, Jon Rahm and now Scheffler. The list nearly included — and probably should have, if only briefly — Collin Mori- kawa, who already has two ma- jors among six worldwide wins as he approaches his three-year anniversary of turning pro. Rahm looked back at the past seven years and rattled off so many names he feared he left someone off the list (he missed one, easy to do without notes). He referred to it as “a perfect example of the Tiger effect.” Most of the players who have reached the top of golf are roughly in the same age group, from Scheffler (25) to McIlroy (32). “We all grew up watching Tiger. We all grew up wanting to be him, and we all grew up with the dream of being major champions,” Rahm said. “With the advancement in golf, in all of us thinking of ourselves as athletes, you can see the differ- ence. Everybody can reach a new level.” Right now, it’s tough to catch Scheffler. Before long, it will be just as difficult for Scheffler to outlast whoever is next be- hind him. His victory in the Match Play a few weeks ago extended a streak that best illustrates the depth and parity in golf. Not since Woods in 2009 has a player started the year at No. 1 and kept the ranking each week through the end of the year. “It’s just the next guy comes up, gets hot, and there you go,” Rahm said. “It’s a beauti- ful part of the golden age of golf we’re living in right now. You might not get the one guy that’s going to dominate for a long time. You’re going to get five, six, maybe 10 players that can do their part.” That’s what makes it so dif- ficult to rule golf these days. And what’s why Scheffler’s run, capped off for now as the Mas- ters champion, is so impressive to watch. wins, he’s in a great car, and he’s pretty dang aggressive. And I can relate to all that. “I wouldn’t say what hap- pened on the race track was wrong, but I’d say what hap- pened after was probably not the right direction.” What Logano mostly didn’t understand is why Gibbs was upset with Mayer after the race. Gibbs has shown since his NASCAR national series debut — a stunning win on the road course in Daytona — that he’s willing to bang his way into victory lane and he’s been aggressive this season. At Las Vegas in March, Gibbs spun Ryan Sieg early in the Xfinity Series race, which led to a conversation on pit road between the two during a rain delay, and then more contact between the two when racing resumed. At Richmond two races ago, Gibbs bumped his way past teammate John Hunter Nemechek to win the race. “If you’re going to race a certain way, you got to expect to be raced that way back,” Lo- gano said of Gibbs. “That’s the driver code that nobody can understand. That’s it. If you’re willing to push, then you’ve got to be willing to take some pushes. That’s what it comes down to. If you’re willing to push for a win, and someone is willing to push for $100,000 behind you, (it’s) one for the other at that point.” ❝ I have been working with The Bulletin for over 3 months and they continue to impress me with their hard work, innovative ads, and amazing reels. I look forward to continuing work with The Bulletin and Makenna Cervelli in particular. In my opinion every company that’s wanting to grow and take their marketing to the next level should use their amazing services. Makenna Cervelli C: 425-622-3186 P: 541-633-2184 mCervelli@bendbulletin.com ❞ — Sean McDonell Owner, C4K Coffee Roasters www.coffee4kids.org
