THE BULLETIN • WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 2022 A7
DEAR ABBY
Write to Dear Abby online at dearabby.com
or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069
Dear Abby: I have been
married for 17 years with
three great kids. My wife and
I have struggled on and off
during those 17 years. I of-
ten feel like maybe I don’t
love her. We are complete
opposites. I’m adventurous,
daring and extroverted. She
denies me sex a lot. This last
time was for four months.
During that time, I met
someone who has the same
adventurous spirit as I do.
We have hung out and we
text often. She’s currently get-
ting a divorce. I’m falling for
her and I have expressed it
to her. She likes me, but she
doesn’t want a relationship
right now because she isn’t
sure what she really wants.
She’s also afraid we both
won’t really leave our spouses
if we start something.
I stopped texting her, but
she said she will wait for
me. How do I manage this
because I’m hurting in my
marriage and hurting by not
texting her?
— Torn In Ohio
Dear Torn: Inform your
wife that the current status
of your marriage is no longer
acceptable. Denying marital
relations appears to be her
way of punishing you, which
is unfair, so offer her the op-
tion of marriage counseling.
If she refuses, I hope you will
go alone to help you decide
rationally which, if any, next
steps you want to take.
If you decide to leave
your marriage, there is no
guarantee the woman you
have been seeing will follow
through with her divorce, but
let her know what your plans
are. I should add that for
many people, the first rela-
tionship after a divorce does
not lead to marriage, if you’re
contemplating jumping from
the frying pan into the fire.
Dear Abby: I was a birth
mom 45 years ago. My
mother forced me to give up
my child at birth. Not one
person supported my wish to
keep my child. My heart and
mind screamed, “No, don’t
do it!” Now, the birth father
says he’s sorry because he’s
having serious health prob-
lems and thinks he could be
dying. I have forgiven every-
one involved, over and over.
But I’ve lived with depression,
PTSD, etc., all these years and
I cry about it still. The older I
get, the more loss I feel.
I found my adult child 15
years ago. It started out OK
and went downhill from
there. My heart aches so
much to have a connection
with this child of mine. I’m
shutting down inside while
still waiting. I’m too tired to
keep going on. My dreams
are gone. My hopes are shat-
tered. I’m ready to curl up
and die. What can I do?
— Destroyed In Washington
Dear Destroyed: I am
sorry for your overwhelm-
ing pain. What you need to
do — and quickly, before
you shut down further — is
summon the strength to seek
help from a licensed mental
health professional.
Forty-five years ago, atti-
tudes about out-of-wedlock
births were far different than
they are today. Neither you
nor the father of that child
were equipped to properly
care for the baby. Because
you have forgiven everyone
else over and over, it is time
to find a way to forgive your-
self and put a stop to your
endless grieving.
YOUR HOROSCOPE
By Georgia Nicols
Stars show the kind of day you’ll have
DYNAMIC | POSITIVE | AVERAGE | SO-SO | DIFFICULT
MOON ALERT: There are no restrictions to shopping or important deci-
sions today. The Moon is in Virgo.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 2022: You
are wise because you learn from your experiences. You are hardworking,
independent and strive to create a secure foundation for yourself in life.
This year will bring exciting changes and freedom . It’s time to let go of what
is blocking your progress, which might create some stress. Stay focused!
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
You might learn about some ancient or modern ideas that could
impact your health today. Meanwhile, something unexpected might affect
your job, especially with respect to technology and computers. Expect a
few hiccups, delays and surprises to your day. Tonight: You’re energized.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Parents should know that this is a mildly accident-prone day for
their kids. Meanwhile, you’re in the mood for adventure and fun! A surprise
invitation might come your way. Sports might take an unexpected turn.
Romance and social outings will be stimulating. Tonight: Solitude.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
Your home routine might be interrupted today. Perhaps a small ap-
pliance will break down or a minor breakage could occur. Meanwhile, a fam-
ily member might have surprising news. Or they might do something unex-
pected that will throw you a curveball. Get ready. Tonight: Enjoy friends.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
This is a mildly accident-prone day, so pay attention to every-
thing you say and do. Nevertheless, this is an energetic day because you
are pumped and ready for action. You are mentally alert and keen to learn
new things. Expect to meet new faces and see new places. Tonight: Talk to
the boss.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
Keep an eye on your money scene, because things are a bit un-
predictable today. For example, you might find money or you might lose
money. Likewise, be smart and protect your belongings against loss, theft
or damage. Listen to your moneymaking ideas! Tonight: Explore!
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Today the Moon is in your sign dancing with unpredictable
Uranus, which makes you crave emotional excitement! You want to shake
things up a little and break free from your daily routine. Admittedly, you
might be a bit impulsive. Think twice before you act irrationally or do some-
thing you might later regret. Tonight: Check your finances.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Today you might prefer to work alone or behind the scenes. You’ve
been working hard lately as well as being involved with kids and social
issues. Nevertheless, something unexpected might catch you off guard
today or by surprise. Steady as she goes. Tonight: Get some rest.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
A friend might surprise you today. Alternatively, you might meet
someone new who is a real character or perhaps someone who is different
or avant-garde. You also might be surprised by a group of people. Perhaps
they want to go in a direction you didn’t expect. For that matter, are these
your people? Tonight: Work.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Something related to authority figures — the police, parents, bosses,
teachers or VIPs — will catch you off guard today. (“Busted!”) Do be aware
of this in case you have something to hide. Don’t be too ready to rebel, be-
cause you might regret this. Meanwhile, never underestimate the power of
courtesy. Tonight: Play!
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Travel plans might suddenly change today. They could be delayed
or canceled or, vice versa, you might have to travel when you did not expect
to do so. This is a classic day to advocate new policies or a change of rules or
a change to the law. “To the gates!” Tonight: Cocoon at home.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Check your banking records and keep on track of red-tape issues
related to taxes, debt and shared property, because something unexpect-
ed could impact this part of your life. Stay on top of things. Information is
power. You snooze, you lose. Tonight: Talk to others.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Someone close to you or a member of the general public might
suggest some unexpected changes today. Possibly this will prompt you to
assume a leadership role in order to make things happen. A close friend or
partner also might surprise you. Hmmm. Tonight: Maintain your belongings.
TODAY
IN HISTORY
By The Associated Press
Today is Wednesday, April 13, the
103rd day of 2022. There are 262
days left in the year.
Today’s Highlight in History:
In 1970, Apollo 13, four-fifths of
the way to the moon, was crippled
when a tank containing liquid ox-
ygen burst.
In 1743, the third president of the
United States, Thomas Jefferson,
was born in Shadwell in the Vir-
ginia Colony.
In 1861, at the start of the Civil
War, Fort Sumter in South Carolina
fell to Confederate forces.
In 1943, President Franklin D.
Roosevelt dedicated the Jefferson
Memorial in Washington, D.C., on
the 200th anniversary of the third
American president’s birth.
In 1953, “Casino Royale,” Ian Flem-
ing’s first book as well as the first
James Bond novel, was published
in London by Jonathan Cape Ltd.
In 1964, Sidney Poitier became
the first Black performer in a lead-
ing role to win an Academy Award
for “Lilies of the Field.”
In 1997, Tiger Woods became
the youngest person to win the
Masters Tournament and the first
player of partly African heritage to
claim a major golf title.
In 1999, right-to-die advocate Dr.
Jack Kevorkian was sentenced
in Pontiac, Michigan, to 10 to 25
years in prison for second-degree
murder in the lethal injection of a
Lou Gehrig’s disease patient.
In 2005, Eric Rudolph pleaded
guilty to carrying out the bomb-
ing at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics
and three other attacks in back-
to-back court appearances in Bir-
mingham, Alabama, and Atlanta.
In 2009, music producer Phil
Spector was found guilty by an
Los Angeles jury of second-de-
gree murder in the shooting of ac-
tor Lana Clarkson .
In 2011, ousted Egyptian Presi-
dent Hosni Mubarak and his two
sons were detained for investiga-
tion of corruption, abuse of power
and killings of protesters. A federal
jury in San Francisco convicted
baseball slugger Barry Bonds on
a charge of obstruction of justice,
but failed to reach a verdict on the
three counts at the heart of alle-
gations that he’d knowingly used
steroids and human growth hor-
mone and lied to a grand jury .
In 2016, the Golden State Warriors
became the NBA’s first 73-win
team by beating the Memphis
Grizzlies 125-104, breaking the
1996 72-win record of the Chicago
Bulls. Kobe Bryant of the Lakers
scored 60 points in his final game,
wrapping up 20 years in the NBA.
In 2020, Charles Thacker Jr., a crew
member on the aircraft carrier
USS Theodore Roosevelt, died at
the U.S. Naval Hospital in Guam,
becoming the first active-duty
military member to die from the
coronavirus. Bernie Sanders urged
his supporters to rally behind Joe
Biden’s presidential campaign.
Ten years ago: President Barack
Obama arrived in Cartagena, Co-
lombia, to attend the Summit of
the Americas; the visit was over-
shadowed by a prostitution scan-
dal involving a group of Secret
Service agents and officers who
had gone to Cartagena to prepare
for the president’s trip. North Ko-
rea’s much-touted satellite launch
ended in a nearly $1 billion failure.
Jennifer Capriati was elected to the
International Tennis Hall of Fame.
Five years ago: Pentagon offi-
cials said U.S. forces in Afghanistan
had struck an Islamic State tunnel
complex in eastern Afghanistan
with the largest non-nuclear
weapon ever used in combat by
the U.S. military.
One year ago: U.S. health officials
recommended a “pause” in use of
the single-dose Johnson & John-
son COVID-19 vaccine to investi-
gate reports of rare but potentially
dangerous blood clots, setting off
a chain reaction worldwide and
dealing a setback to the global
vaccination campaign.
Today’s Birthdays: Former Sen.
Ben Nighthorse Campbell, R-Colo.,
is 89. Actor Edward Fox is 85. Ac-
tor Paul Sorvino is 83. R&B singer
Lester Chambers is 82. Movie-TV
composer Bill Conti is 80. Rock
musician Jack Casady is 78. Actor
Tony Dow is 77. Singer Al Green is
76. Actor Ron Perlman is 72. Actor
William Sadler is 72. Singer Peabo
Bryson is 71. Bandleader/rock mu-
sician Max Weinberg is 71. Blue-
grass singer-musician Sam Bush is
70. Rock musician Jimmy Destri is
68. Comedian Gary Kroeger is 65.
Actor Saundra Santiago is 65. Sen.
Bob Casey Jr., D-Pa., is 62. Chess
grandmaster Garry Kasparov is 59.
Actor Page Hannah is 58. Actor-co-
median Caroline Rhea is 58. Rock
musician Marc Ford is 56. Reggae
singer Capleton is 55. Actor Ricky
Schroder is 52. Rock singer Aaron
Lewis is 50. Actor Bokeem Wood-
bine is 49. Singer Lou Bega is 47.
Actor-producer Glenn Howerton
is 46. Actor Kyle Howard is 44. Ac-
tor Kelli Giddish is 42. Actor Court-
ney Peldon is 41. Pop singer Nellie
McKay is 40. Rapper/singer Ty Dolla
$ign is 40. Actor Allison Williams is
34. Actor Hannah Marks is 29.
Jae C. Hong/AP
Scottie Scheffler celebrates after winning the Masters Sunday in Augusta, Georgia.
Scheffler
Continued from A5
Amazing as what Scheffler
has done, it’s too soon to think
of him as golf’s next dominant
player because no one ever
seems to know how long it will
last.
If anything, it’s an illustra-
tion of golf’s parity.
It also is a reminder of the
Tiger Woods effect, and those
ripples stretch even further the
longer he is able to play.
“I played Tiger’s irons. Wore
his shoes. Wore his shirt this
week,” Scheffler said. “He is the
needle for the game of golf. He
has completely changed the
PGA Tour from when he came
on 25 years ago. And his You-
Tube clips are such an inspira-
tion for me.”
One in particular that stood
out to Scheffler was Woods
winning his first Masters in
1997, a watershed moment in
golf. Woods led by nine going
into the final round and never
lost focus even as the lead
stretched to a record 12 shots.
“He never really broke his
concentration. That’s some-
thing that I reminded myself of
today,” Scheffler said Sunday.
“I tried to keep my head down
and just keep doing what I was
doing because I didn’t want to
break my concentration.”
That only changed when
he had a five-shot lead on the
18th green. He four-putted.
“Thank you, Tiger,” Schef-
fler said with a laugh.
The influence has been
around since Woods returned
NASCAR
Continued from A5
Gibbs and Sam Mayer were
racing A.J. Allmendinger on
the final lap of Friday’s Xfinity
Series race with a $100,000 bo-
nus on the line. Mayer moved
Gibbs out of his way, Gibbs
retaliated after the checkered
flag and then they brawled on
pit road.
Gibbs, while still wearing
his helmet, threw punches at
the unprotected face of his fel-
low teen rival.
“It’s part of growing up on
TV. You’re growing up in the
limelight, right?” he said be-
fore addressing Gibbs spe-
cifically, “it’s a very popular
driver. He’s very good, he
to No. 1 in the world for the fi-
nal time in the spring of 2013
and stayed at the top until the
first of five back surgeries.
Patrick Reed at the end of
2014 recalled how he grew up
studying Woods, particularly
his focus. “You could see it just
by looking at him in the eyes.
If looks could kill, he would
literally kill you. He was just
so focused and determined to
play well,” he said.
A year later, Spieth and Day
ended 2015 at Nos. 1-2 in the
world after their five-win sea-
sons, with Rory McIlroy right
behind. It felt like the start of a
new “Big Three.”
It wasn’t, and Spieth said
as much while preaching pa-
tience and perspective. “In or-
der to create an era, you almost
need a decade of years like
this,” he said then.
Spieth and Day became the
third and fourth players to
reach No. 1 after Woods began
his series of back surgeries. Six
more players have followed
since then: Dustin Johnson,
Justin Thomas, Justin Rose,
Brooks Koepka, Jon Rahm and
now Scheffler.
The list nearly included —
and probably should have, if
only briefly — Collin Mori-
kawa, who already has two ma-
jors among six worldwide wins
as he approaches his three-year
anniversary of turning pro.
Rahm looked back at the
past seven years and rattled
off so many names he feared
he left someone off the list (he
missed one, easy to do without
notes). He referred to it as “a
perfect example of the Tiger
effect.”
Most of the players who
have reached the top of golf are
roughly in the same age group,
from Scheffler (25) to McIlroy
(32).
“We all grew up watching
Tiger. We all grew up wanting
to be him, and we all grew up
with the dream of being major
champions,” Rahm said. “With
the advancement in golf, in all
of us thinking of ourselves as
athletes, you can see the differ-
ence. Everybody can reach a
new level.”
Right now, it’s tough to catch
Scheffler. Before long, it will
be just as difficult for Scheffler
to outlast whoever is next be-
hind him.
His victory in the Match
Play a few weeks ago extended
a streak that best illustrates
the depth and parity in golf.
Not since Woods in 2009 has
a player started the year at No.
1 and kept the ranking each
week through the end of the
year.
“It’s just the next guy comes
up, gets hot, and there you
go,” Rahm said. “It’s a beauti-
ful part of the golden age of
golf we’re living in right now.
You might not get the one guy
that’s going to dominate for a
long time. You’re going to get
five, six, maybe 10 players that
can do their part.”
That’s what makes it so dif-
ficult to rule golf these days.
And what’s why Scheffler’s run,
capped off for now as the Mas-
ters champion, is so impressive
to watch.
wins, he’s in a great car, and
he’s pretty dang aggressive.
And I can relate to all that.
“I wouldn’t say what hap-
pened on the race track was
wrong, but I’d say what hap-
pened after was probably not
the right direction.”
What Logano mostly didn’t
understand is why Gibbs was
upset with Mayer after the
race. Gibbs has shown since
his NASCAR national series
debut — a stunning win on
the road course in Daytona
— that he’s willing to bang his
way into victory lane and he’s
been aggressive this season.
At Las Vegas in March,
Gibbs spun Ryan Sieg early in
the Xfinity Series race, which
led to a conversation on pit
road between the two during
a rain delay, and then more
contact between the two when
racing resumed. At Richmond
two races ago, Gibbs bumped
his way past teammate John
Hunter Nemechek to win the
race.
“If you’re going to race a
certain way, you got to expect
to be raced that way back,” Lo-
gano said of Gibbs. “That’s the
driver code that nobody can
understand. That’s it. If you’re
willing to push, then you’ve
got to be willing to take some
pushes. That’s what it comes
down to. If you’re willing to
push for a win, and someone
is willing to push for $100,000
behind you, (it’s) one for the
other at that point.”
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www.coffee4kids.org