Image provided by: Newberg Public Library; Newberg, OR
About Newberg graphic. (Newberg, Or.) 1888-1993 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 10, 1908)
FUR SiH ID ES SOMETHWG FOB EVEBTBODT The annual «rear and tear on tbe world's currency la estimated at two tons o f sold and 100 tons o f stiver. In all tbe civilized countries pf tbe world 00 per cent o f tbe persons oyer 10 years old bare to work fo r a living. There are in tbe State o f New York forty-three villages o f between 1,0 0 0 and 2,000 inhabitants which have free libraries. C h l ( a a * 'a K « m i u . Teaclitr Tommy, do you know what latitude 1st Tommy— Yes, ma'am. It ’s distance north and south et tbs Chicago river.— Chicago Tribune. la! clubman. "Y o u need a job. You're suffering from o verrest” — N ew York Sun. w Mrs. Be aha m— How much bid you pay tbe minister when w e were mar Tbe police justice looked at the bat- tersd. disreputable specimen o f manhood ried? Benham— H e fined me fire dol lars.— Harper’s Weekly. before him and turned to tbs policeman. “ Officer,“ he asked, “ what Is the com Teacher— Now, children, what Is the plaint?" greatest enemy o f poultry? Silence. “ Rheumatia y’r honor,” spoke ap tbs Teacher— W bo eats tbe moet poultry? prisoner, answering far himself.— € biceps Pupils—T h e m in ister!— Jugend (M un ich ). T h e R ah. Os tend— Pa. what do they mean when thay m y “ Money is aaay” la W all street? Pa— They mean that It is easy, my son, because they have Joat gotten it from easy people. Ostsnd— Then why can’t wa get It? Pa— Because those that have a bold on It are not easy.* rm a • is th p . aa. T a lk about your moving pictures that they charge a dime to ate, . . W all, they may bs real amusing, but Just take a' tip from m e: Th ere’s a transparent curtain and two “ apooners” on our street T a lk about your moving pictures—w ell, we guess wo *••▼* them b a st “ K itty,“ said her mother, rebukii 'you must sit still when you ara at can t, mamma, j I'm a fidrotsrlan Illra m Burrows— How'a yer chawin' terbacker, Ezra? Ears Skinner (reluctantly producing p in g )— Failin ' fa st; I don't expect It to last the day o u t— Puck. T r iu m p h a t H a m a s N a tu ra . ‘T h em seventeen mothers In the vil lage mothers’ club agreed to decide by ballot which had the handsomest baby.’» “ Wall, who woa i t r “ Each kid got one vote.” — Judge. P a rtic u la r « R « q a lr «4 . “ Kitty, weoMa’t you Kky to kaaw something about Esperanto?" “ Do you ha vs to learn to play it, or la It aomsthing you eut?” T b e Lady— L ittle boy, don't you know auto king w ill shorten your life? Th e K id — Shucks! W ot do I care? I ’ve seen everyt’ lng dere l a — Boston Trav- “ Before we were married,” said Mr*. Chatterton, “ you used to tell me how much you loved me, but you never do now ." “ O f course not, my dear." re plied the masculine partner. “ Since our KASPAR ILLA SOPHIA ( KITTLE5EN ■fi A m mss r r a ifU it he a«*faatam la oars estsrrk. s s k o L lass trouble«, rhsumstlns. serronmsm. Josssss g " r I k isser trosMss, sise erlöste CONSULTATION IfflCE w- - «----1- « M i t a i *# . I t . . aei*B^B musine v i eisy •'resists. M it. w ntw Xseloss to m s m ». tn m h l.a h s oiaRaa a aa The C. Gee Wo Medicine Co. 1I2H Heat St.. Near Marrtaea PM U MO. SO-OS I n / B X K w ritin g to t d r o r i IM M T I M M J T f m e n ilo « th is p « * « r . la “ L it t le I t a ly . “ H e C m M ed variety, Tbe trees bore a few almonds last year and many more this year, and by another year Mr. Cox lowing form ula ia e ffe c tiv e : " T o one thinks he w ill get a crop large enough h a lf pin t o f good whiskey add one ♦o m a rk et— Houston Pqat ounce o f Toria Compound and one ounce The death o f James W . Paul, the ty. Young W ife— Yes, but I have age«! Syrup Sarsaparilla Compound. Take riilladelphln hanker, recalls this story rapidly since our marriage. in tablespoonful doses before each meal which he told at a Philadelphia dub “ My friends,” «aid an Itinerant and before re tirin g .” not long ago: “ I was going home one Toria compound ia a product o f the preacher, “ the Scriptural rule for glv laboratories o f the Globe Pharmaceuti cal Co., Chicago, but it aa w ell as the other ingredients can bs had from any i*I>eu a door with n latchkey. A fter good druggist. cording to your means. W e w ill dis looking at him a few minutes I decided pense with the next hymn and tnke up to help the man. who was not so far lll« a t r a t l« s It. the collection.’’— LIpplncott'a “ Joaiah,” aaked Mra. Chugwater, look cone aa to have forgotten his polite W illie — And no you quarreled? Char ing up from eba newspaper ahe waa read ness, fo r before entering the house through the door which I succeed lie— Y e a ; she aent back all my pres ing. “ what ia a ‘homeatretch’ ?” "This,” answered Mr. CRugwater, lean- ed In opening he naked my name ents. And what do you suppose I ng back In hia eaay chair, slowly extend- and thanked me. I proceeded on my did? W illie— Can't guess. Charlie— I ag his arms at right angles with hia aent ber a h a lf dozen boxes o f fa ct Hedy, and accompanying the exercise with powder, with a note explaining that < dismal yawn. “ You've seen me do it a I ’d taken about that much home on • "ro *s ."— Chicaro Tribune my coat since I ’ d known her.— Th e Ooa- ward me w ith unnteady gait. When be ■lp. , reached me he put one hand affection W hat has become o f the old-fashioned ately on my shoulder, and, looking me woman who had her photograph taken In the face, eald: 'Say, did you ever with one hand holding a half-opened get an answer to that long letter you book? wrota to tba Theaaalonlana?' " I T e ll a L ie . F or Infanta and Children. Engaanmaa ALCOHOL 1 PER CENT I n f a n t s .-T h ildkin I am sorry you can’t be nay bride, May, Mrs. Bertha Ayrton has succeeded in But my father won’t give his consent, ascertaining tbe cause o f tbe refractory And if he, la n rage, cot me off. May, behavior o f tbe searchlight in certain . Why I never could p«y for m K rent respects and in devising a remedy. The British adm iralty called on Prof. A y r But why should we live any more? May. ton to investigate tbe trouble some time In death we should mot be apart ago. A fte r making many Investigations I suffer alone, and am seised. May, With a grief that is nearing my heart. be turned tbe problem over to his w ife, wbo is the only woman member o f the So let's fine from tbe odious world. May, Institute o f Electrical Engineers and Where there’s nothing but troubles and who received the only medal ever cures, nward«M to a woman by the Royal So Ah, won't it be grand, when we two, hand ciety o f London fo r original unaided in hand. work. Are climbing tbe golden stairs? T h e Congregational parsonage at l o t tery is one of- tbe oldest bouses In th«* State o f Maine. It la tbe oldest ecclesi astical residence in the State, and tbe T o A v o id M is ta k e s . oldest one in present use In New Eng “ I want a bottle of Rybold’s Extract,” land. The house was built In 1729, in said the prominent politician of the tbe days o f Hon. W illiam Pep per el I, ’ Steenth ward, stepping into a drug store. fa th e r-o f 8 lr W illiam Pepperell. It “ Rybold’s ExtractT’ queried tbe drug contains tbe library bequeathed by Sir gist. “ That's a medicine I never beard W illiam to Dr. Benjamin Stevens, for o f before.” “ I never beard of it, either, until to-day, forty years minister o f the K lttery but I ’m under contract to write a testi Point church. Dr. Stevens In his turn monial for it, and I want to find out what bequeathed the library to tbe Congrega diseases K claims to be good for.” tional ministers o f K lttery and York for all time. Many o f these books con V m C m GstAMeWe r«st-C«se m c i. Anxious M other— Nellie, dear, do yon Write Allen ft. Olmsted. Le Roy, N. Y „ for s tain the Pepperell coat-of-arms.-^Ken Iree sample ot Allen'srbot-Ksse. It cures nebec (M e .) Journal. think that young Huggins, who has sweating, hot swollen, sching feet. It makes bean calling on you twice a week for new or light shoes easy. A certain euro for In Henderson County, Calti Cox, flv. eorns. Ingrowing and bunions. All drug some time, Is m atrim onially Inclined? gists sail I t 36c. naiU Don’t accept anr substitute miles from Athens, has not only ad Pretty Daughter— Really, I don’t know hered to tllversiflcatloh In all Its forms, what to think, mamma, dear. He has raising fruit* tomatoes and the cereal such a knack o f keeping one In the and hay crops, as well as some cotton, dark I but he has been Investing some money Old Acquaintance— Why. old chap, a In other experiments, some o f which few years ago you were the beat are about to turn out very profitably. dresaed mnn in town, but now your One o f his side experiments has been outfit la pretty shabby. Had a reverse ? almonds, he having put In quite a num Companion— W ell, you may call It th a t ber o f the young trees about five years Tba truth is. 1 got married since, and ago. T h e trees are now well grown now It's my w ife that’s the beat dressed and are bearing fine almonds, though woman in town. not as large nor as fine as the Import- i “ W ell, good-by, d * a r !" said Mr. Trne- boy to bla beloved spouse. “ I must go and dictate those letters— twenty-six o f them— so you mustn’t expect me borne very ea rly." “ A ll rig h t!",w a s tbe response. “ But I wish you wouldn't work an bard.” H a lf an hour later, Mr. Troeboy en tered bis club and sat down, with three others, at a card table. “ Just a moment, you fellows, before tbe first band Is dealt. I ’ ve got to keep my word with my wife. One o f you just take down what I d icta te: ‘A b e d e f g b l j k l m n o p q r s t u v w a y s . ’ T h ere ! Those letters are off my mind." Mrs. Pneubride (a t telephone)— H ello! la that the health department? H e C « « M Wot T e l l • L I « . ‘ Voice— Yea Inquiring laidy— llo w much milk Mra. Pneubride— I wish you would send does yonr row give a day? one o f your officers to 697 Bilgus street. Truthful Boy— 'Bout twelve quarts, This house is full of cockroaches.— Chi lady. cago Tribune. Inquiring I jm I jt — A nd bow much o f that do you sell? Stranger (aa horseback)— Uncle, what Truthful Boy— 'Bout tw elve quarts^ is tba price « f oats te-day? lady.— Unman Life. Uncle Jed (sitting on the feace)— We Th« H «n c «n . don’t sell our votes In these diggin’s, mis A veterinary surgeon pronounced • ter. Bs you a candidate? hunter to be afflicted with an incur able dlaeaae. "You called os Miss Tartun and she "W h at had I better do?” queried tbe greeted you with: ‘Why, Mr 8oireltop!* owner to his groom. Well, what was there in that harmless “ W ell, air," was tbe reply, "con- exclamation to offend you, Percy?” “ Yes, but she— er—-didn’t punctuate it srientlously «|waking, I should part that way. She said: ‘ Why Mr. SorreJ- with him to another gentleman.'*—T it- Signatare O T N a r c o t ic . N E W YORK. A l b m o n th s o ld j j D o s r s - J j O M s Copy o f Wrapper. nr € :AKIND PDWDi’- (RESCENT .MUDO AU TRAT AfIT high rara) roan a a v i DO Alt) D om arn e E g g -P h o s p h a te BAKING POWDER A F U L L P O U N D 25c. Highest Young W ife —To-m orrow w ill be my birthday, dear. Young Husband— You’ll be twenty-one? Young W ife — N o ; twenty-five. Young Husband— C Gee Wo «* Tbe Finns evidently have hot found A school teacher In tbe Italian quar woman suffrage a failure. Nineteen ter o f an American city told ber chil women were elected to their first P a r dren tbe story o f tbe fox and the liament. Now twenty-five have Just gnspes. Tony was especially delighted been elected to tbe second. with tbe story, and eagerly sought his Berlin opened a rink on Sept. 1 for chum, Joe, wbo was in another class. ice skating all tbe year round. Th is By good luck, tba teacher overbeard make« tbe fourth pvrmanent ice rink Tony's version. In bis excited, broken English be in Europe, others being operated in told the fable much as It was written, London, Paris and Munich. Th e Ivory nut, notch Is so much until be came to tbe end. This was bla rendering o f tbe d lm a x : need by button manufacturers. Is tbe “ De olda fox be say, ‘Da grape mi fru it o f a species o f palm which grows good, anyhow; alia sour. I guess I in Central and South America. It go gets de banan.’ ” form « a valuable crop, particularly in Panama, Colombia, Ecuador and Pent. H ew f e e tow It . A German statistician baa calculated that tbe steam power In present use on HEALTH VERY PO O R — this globe Is equal to 120,000,000 horse RESTORED BY PE-RU-NA power. T b e coal needed to supply this fo r a year would make a freight Catarrh Twenty-five Years— % steam train extending ten times around tbe Had a Bad Cougtf eartb. Mias Sophia K ittieaon, Evanston, From Mora comes a story o f sugar 111., w rite s : “ I have been troubled w ith catarrh beets more than tw o feet long and fo r nearly tw enty-five years and have weighing only a trifle less than twelve tried many cures fo r it, but obtained pounds. There are said to be tw o o f these monster tubers there, and It is very lit t le help. “ Then my brother advised me to try claimed they were grown on tbe farm Peruna, and I did. o f a native who lives several miles up “ M y health was v e r y poor a t the tbe valley from tbe town o f Mora.— Las tim e I began takin g Peruna. M y Vega« (N . M .) Optic. throat was very sore and I had a bad wlthout gloves? Bella— Yea, and It The first recorded production o f a cough. , would have been better for poor, dear play In Australia took place in June George If he had done it witbout shoes. o f tbe year 1780. I t was called “T b e Bacrultlug Officer." Th e proceeds o f tbe "T h e telephone Is certainly a great In I recommend Peruna to all my first pay night (some £20) went to the fam ily o f a man wbo had been drown vention. Think o f It I You can talk to friends who are troubled as I w a s ." In January, 1796, a rough and your w ife fifty miles aw ay." ‘T h a t PERUNA TABLETS:—Some people pre ed. may be your exiierience. A ll I ’ve been fe r tablets, rather than medicine in s ready playhouse was opened and tbe fluid form . Such people can obtain Per public had to pay one shilling a bead able to do la to listen.” Tbe payments were represent the fo r admission. “ Have you,” naked the judge o f a re runs tablets, which made In kind, wheat, flour or rum tak medicinal ingredients o f Peruna. Each cently convicted man, “ anything to o f fe r tbe court before sentence is tablet equals one average dose o f P e ing the place o f the usual currency.— runa. London Standard. passed?” “ No, your honor,” replied Don't mark your stationery any the prisoner, “ my law yer took my last Man-a-fin the Ideal Laxative longer with a monogram. That is out dollar." Ask V o w Druggist fa r a fr e e Panma o f date. Tbe latest symbol Is tbe “ I saw tbe m ajor's w ife at her win Almanac far 1909. thninb mark. It is engraved in gold or dow early this morning. She looked T h « I t Petersburg correspondent et Silver and has all tbe value o f a Ber- dO years o ld !" "Y ou must be mistaken, your hlglineaa; no woman is as old as th« London Mail mys that ear druass tlllon mark o f Identification. Station she looks In the m orning!” — FI legends made of thin leaves of silver are being ers wbo have Introduced this w ay o f used in the Russian military hospitals for marking use tbe prints in the center o f Blaetter. diseases of tbs M r, to repines defective a correspondence card and about half “ W hy are you so vexed. Irm sY " I an inch from the top to make them am ao exasperated! 1 attended the most effective. Th e thumb is some meeting o f the Social Equality League, times printed in red or blue, although and my parlor maid presided and had the metal colors are more popular.— the audacity to call me to order three New York Son. Thars are now ever 280,000 words in Mulligan— T b e byes any ye licked the English language acknowledged by the best authorities, or about 70.000 mors poor Casey. Share, he niver hurt luy than In th« Gorman, French, Spanish and man's feelln’s. Harrigan— He’a a Italian Isnrnacos combined. shnake in tbe grass. Th e blackguard referred to me as bis conttinperary, and I ’ ll be tbe contlmperary to no man livin'.— Puck. This sterling household remedy is moat successfully prescribed for a “ world of troubles." For derangements o f the di gestive oegans it is a natural corrective, operating directly apon the liver and ali mentary canal, gently but persistently stimulating r a healthful Its lealthful activity. beneficial influence influence extends, however, to every portion o f the system, aiding in the ■Processes o f digestion and assimilation of food, promoting a wholesome, natural appetite, correcting sour stomach, bad breath, irregularities o f tbe bowels, con stipation and the long list o f troubles directly traceable to those unwholesome conditions. Kasparilla dispels drowsi ness, headache, backache and despond ency doe to inactivity o f the liver, kidneys and digestive tract. I t ia a strengthening tonic o f the highest vaine. M IJ J . MA PI E1N ^pn A Flavoring. It makes a B i syrup better than Maple. Em J* > SoU by grocers. Q uality I More Converts Every Year ^ r E very day in every year that comes, more house* I w ives are giving up their exorbitant priced Baking 1 Pow ders and turning to K C, the honest and reliable, which has stood so w ell the test of years. They are finding out that BAKING POWDER costs one third the price o f powder any w here near K C quality, and makes better, purer, more healthful baking. 2A Ounces for 2d Cents Perfect R esu lts
