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About Baker City herald. (Baker City, Or.) 1990-current | View Entire Issue (May 7, 2020)
8B — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD THURSDAY, MAY 7, 2020 COFFEE BREAK Obnoxious drunk is struck off guest list to his friend’s wedding DEAR ABBY: My fi ance has a friend who is, for lack of a better word, a train wreck. When I started dating my fi ance, I heard about this guy, “Al,” from my fi an- ce’s other friends even before I met him. The group of friends has an on-again, off-again relationship with Al, and he has made a scene at each of their weddings. He has gotten obnoxiously drunk, gotten into huge arguments with his girl- friend (now wife), or done some- thing rude like bring his own fast food to the head table at the reception. I tried to keep an open mind when I met him, but he has made us uncomfortable at every get-together. We recently attended Al’s wed- ding, and he became aggressive with my fi ance after drinking too much. We have now decided we don’t want him or his new wife at our DEAR wedding next year. We hoped to just ABBY drift away from them. Unfortu- nately, Al has real- ized that he hasn’t received a Save the Date and repeatedly texts my fi ance that he wants to “go out” with him to talk. We know he’s going to ask about his invite, and he’ll prob- ably expect one because he invited us to his wedding. Are we justifi ed in excluding him? How would you handle this? — TOUGH SPOT IN ILLINOIS DEAR TOUGH SPOT: Your fi ance should handle it by giving Al a straight answer. He doesn’t have to see him. A phone call will do. Your fi ance should state clearly that Al isn’t being invited to the wedding because he can’t hold his liquor and has made a scene at each wedding he has attended. He should also be told that until he gets help for his alcohol problem, the two of you no longer wish to maintain the friendship. It’s the truth, and the truth will set you free. DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Howard,” and I have been mar- ried 42 years. A couple of years ago, his father asked me to divorce Howard, which I did not do. His father died recently, and we learned he had disinherited Howard. My husband is crushed, and now I don’t know how to handle this. Howard’s brother yelled at my husband and said, “If your wife got her hands on that money, you would not see a penny of it!” I don’t understand why he would think that. Howard and I have a good relationship and do not live above our means. That said, my husband’s brother and sister have never liked me, and I do not understand why. I have never done anything intentionally to harm them. I feel like the bottom line is, had I divorced Howard when his father asked me to, this might not have happened. My husband is hurt, not only by his father’s death, but also by being disinher- ited, and I do not know what to do. — HURTING FOR HIM DEAR HURTING FOR HIM: The one thing you should NOT do is blame yourself for any of this. The only “winner” in this sce- nario appears to be the brother. Whether he poisoned your father- in-law’s perception of you or vice- versa, I cannot guess. But the dynamics in Howard’s family are so toxic, it may take the help of a licensed therapist to cleanse the wounds you and your husband are left with. The slightly tarnished silver lining in this is you have each other, which is more pre- cious than money. Please accept my deepest sympathy. Portland family bakes giant cinnamon rolls to raise money for Food Bank By Mariam Fam Associated Press PORTLAND — Scared for friends who had con- tracted the new corona- virus and worried about her daughter’s schooling and husband’s work, Whitney Rutz cried and screamed into her pillow. Then, the Portland resi- dent started baking. What began as an effort to cheer herself up ended up lifting the spirits of many others, raising money for thousands of meals and nourishing “the bellies and souls” of heath care workers — one giant cinnamon roll at a time. Rutz’s rolls have raised more than $35,000 for the Oregon Food Bank, enough for more than 105,000 meals. At fi rst, she was auc- tioning the rolls off — the fi rst went for $300. Now, Rutz, with some help, bakes a giant roll — 12 inches across and weighing more than fi ve pounds — for every $500 raised. The highest con- tributor of the day decides Photo by Whitney Rutz via AP Whitney Rutz, right, and husband, Paul, stand near several decorated boxes that hold large cinnamon rolls in their home in Portland in this April 26 photo. The Rutz family has sold the giant cinnamon rolls to raise thousands of dollars for the Oregon Food Bank. where the roll goes. Since a friend asked for her roll to be donated to health care workers instead of delivered to her, the vast majority have gone to hospitals and health or assisted-living facilities. “If I didn’t have this to ed ne ORE M Show Listings, rds, o w s s o r C , u Sudok ts r o p S , h c r a Word Se ...? e r o M & s e Quizz focus on ... I don’t know the state I would be in right now emotionally,” Rutz said on a recent weekend when she woke up before 6 a.m. and spent most of her day in the kitchen kneading, slicing and rolling dough and spreading the fi lling. Once the operation grew, the food bank set up a fundraising page for the donations. Oregon Food Bank CEO Susannah Morgan said the rolls bring something to the table besides food: joy. “We’re all scared and hunkered down and wor- ried about our health and the health of our loved ones and some of us have lost our jobs and hunger is spiking through the roof,” she said. “Trying to tackle this sort of massive, enor- mous situation by baking giant cinnamon rolls just makes you smile.” Others have been inspired to roll up their sleeves, too. As the number of dona- tions increased, Rutz’s twin sister and a friend of hers started baking rolls for the fundraiser in their own kitchens. An acquaintance — a mother of three whose husband Check out our new TV Magazine lost his job in the midst of the pandemic — donated money and launched her own fundraiser in North Carolina. Rutz’s husband, a painter, decorated some of the rolls’ boxes, a job that initially was their daugh- ter’s. Artists and local celebrities have stepped in to help. One performer has been bedecking the boxes with colorful draw- ings and helping with deliveries. Jackie Enriquez, a nurse, takes the rolls to health care workers. “So many people are getting really creative,” she said. “There’s many ways that you can con- tribute and you don’t have to be on the front lines.” Enriquez took two rolls to emergency room nurses to surprise them after a particularly rough shift. “It just made their day. They cried,” she said. Her voice cracked with emo- tion. “I think that they felt, like, really moved and that people are still out there cheering them on.” Y R E V E Y A D R SATU BLACK E LOGO REVERS LOGO R - COLO G N CHAN BAR CA
