8B — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD
THURSDAY, MAY 7, 2020
COFFEE BREAK
Obnoxious drunk is struck off guest list to his friend’s wedding
DEAR ABBY: My fi ance has a
friend who is, for lack of a better
word, a train wreck. When I
started dating my fi ance, I heard
about this guy, “Al,” from my fi an-
ce’s other friends
even before I met
him.
The group of
friends has an
on-again, off-again
relationship with
Al, and he has made a scene at
each of their weddings. He has
gotten obnoxiously drunk, gotten
into huge arguments with his girl-
friend (now wife), or done some-
thing rude like bring his own
fast food to the head table at the
reception. I tried to keep an open
mind when I met him, but he has
made us uncomfortable at every
get-together.
We recently attended Al’s wed-
ding, and he became aggressive
with my fi ance after drinking too
much. We have now decided we
don’t want him or
his new wife at our
DEAR
wedding next year.
We hoped to just
ABBY
drift away from
them. Unfortu-
nately, Al has real-
ized that he hasn’t received a Save
the Date and repeatedly texts my
fi ance that he wants to “go out”
with him to talk.
We know he’s going to ask
about his invite, and he’ll prob-
ably expect one because he
invited us to his wedding. Are we
justifi ed in excluding him? How
would you handle this?
— TOUGH SPOT IN ILLINOIS
DEAR TOUGH SPOT: Your
fi ance should handle it by giving
Al a straight answer. He doesn’t
have to see him. A phone call
will do. Your fi ance should state
clearly that Al isn’t being invited
to the wedding because he can’t
hold his liquor and has made a
scene at each wedding he has
attended.
He should also be told that
until he gets help for his alcohol
problem, the two of you no longer
wish to maintain the friendship.
It’s the truth, and the truth will set
you free.
DEAR ABBY: My husband,
“Howard,” and I have been mar-
ried 42 years. A couple of years
ago, his father asked me to
divorce Howard, which I did not
do. His father died recently, and
we learned he had disinherited
Howard. My husband is crushed,
and now I don’t know how to
handle this.
Howard’s brother yelled at my
husband and said, “If your wife
got her hands on that money, you
would not see a penny of it!” I
don’t understand why he would
think that. Howard and I have a
good relationship and do not live
above our means.
That said, my husband’s
brother and sister have never
liked me, and I do not understand
why. I have never done anything
intentionally to harm them.
I feel like the bottom line is,
had I divorced Howard when his
father asked me to, this might
not have happened. My husband
is hurt, not only by his father’s
death, but also by being disinher-
ited, and I do not know what to
do.
— HURTING FOR HIM
DEAR HURTING FOR HIM:
The one thing you should NOT do
is blame yourself for any of this.
The only “winner” in this sce-
nario appears to be the brother.
Whether he poisoned your father-
in-law’s perception of you or vice-
versa, I cannot guess. But the
dynamics in Howard’s family are
so toxic, it may take the help of a
licensed therapist to cleanse the
wounds you and your husband are
left with. The slightly tarnished
silver lining in this is you have
each other, which is more pre-
cious than money. Please accept
my deepest sympathy.
Portland family bakes giant cinnamon rolls to raise money for Food Bank
By Mariam Fam
Associated Press
PORTLAND — Scared
for friends who had con-
tracted the new corona-
virus and worried about
her daughter’s schooling
and husband’s work,
Whitney Rutz cried and
screamed into her pillow.
Then, the Portland resi-
dent started baking.
What began as an
effort to cheer herself up
ended up lifting the spirits
of many others, raising
money for thousands of
meals and nourishing “the
bellies and souls” of heath
care workers — one giant
cinnamon roll at a time.
Rutz’s rolls have raised
more than $35,000 for
the Oregon Food Bank,
enough for more than
105,000 meals.
At fi rst, she was auc-
tioning the rolls off —
the fi rst went for $300.
Now, Rutz, with some
help, bakes a giant roll
— 12 inches across and
weighing more than fi ve
pounds — for every $500
raised. The highest con-
tributor of the day decides
Photo by Whitney Rutz via AP
Whitney Rutz, right, and husband, Paul, stand near several decorated boxes that hold
large cinnamon rolls in their home in Portland in this April 26 photo. The Rutz family has
sold the giant cinnamon rolls to raise thousands of dollars for the Oregon Food Bank.
where the roll goes.
Since a friend asked
for her roll to be donated
to health care workers
instead of delivered to
her, the vast majority
have gone to hospitals and
health or assisted-living
facilities.
“If I didn’t have this to
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the state I would be in
right now emotionally,”
Rutz said on a recent
weekend when she woke
up before 6 a.m. and spent
most of her day in the
kitchen kneading, slicing
and rolling dough and
spreading the fi lling.
Once the operation
grew, the food bank set up
a fundraising page for the
donations. Oregon Food
Bank CEO Susannah
Morgan said the rolls
bring something to the
table besides food: joy.
“We’re all scared and
hunkered down and wor-
ried about our health and
the health of our loved
ones and some of us have
lost our jobs and hunger is
spiking through the roof,”
she said. “Trying to tackle
this sort of massive, enor-
mous situation by baking
giant cinnamon rolls just
makes you smile.”
Others have been
inspired to roll up their
sleeves, too.
As the number of dona-
tions increased, Rutz’s
twin sister and a friend
of hers started baking
rolls for the fundraiser in
their own kitchens. An
acquaintance — a mother
of three whose husband
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lost his job in the midst of
the pandemic — donated
money and launched her
own fundraiser in North
Carolina.
Rutz’s husband, a
painter, decorated some of
the rolls’ boxes, a job that
initially was their daugh-
ter’s. Artists and local
celebrities have stepped
in to help. One performer
has been bedecking the
boxes with colorful draw-
ings and helping with
deliveries.
Jackie Enriquez, a
nurse, takes the rolls to
health care workers.
“So many people are
getting really creative,”
she said. “There’s many
ways that you can con-
tribute and you don’t have
to be on the front lines.”
Enriquez took two rolls
to emergency room nurses
to surprise them after a
particularly rough shift.
“It just made their day.
They cried,” she said. Her
voice cracked with emo-
tion. “I think that they
felt, like, really moved and
that people are still out
there cheering them on.”
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