Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Baker City herald. (Baker City, Or.) 1990-current | View Entire Issue (April 23, 2020)
COFFEE BREAK 8B — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD THURSDAY, APRIL 23, 2020 Deepening dementia causes Let Your GRADUATES’ awkward social situations Accomplishments SHINE! DEAR ABBY: During the past year, my wonderful father-in-law was wid- owed and became unable to live alone. He lives with us now and is part of our daily life. However, he has dementia. He is still quite social and verbal. If you met him, you might not realize that his short-term memory rarely functions or that the fi lters this well-educated and proper man once had no longer work 24/7. Recently, he has started ogling women and making comments about their physical attributes when we go grocery shopping or take a walk. He is also starting to confuse the women’s roles in our house- hold (me, my daughter, daughter-in-law and niece), which has become even more awkward. My daughter confi ded that he made a sexual comment about me. (I’m a middle-aged, no-nonsense kind of woman.) How does one approach such a situa- tion? We don’t want someone slapping him — or worse. I can say, “That’s not appro- priate,” then defl ect or laugh it off at home, knowing he won’t remember what he said 20 minutes later, but how do we make the best of these circumstances without dimin- ishing his outside social experiences? Moving him to a senior living community is not an option at this point for fi nancial reasons. — CAREGIVER WITH A PROBLEM DEAR CAREGIVER: It’s time for you to contact the Alzheimer’s Association. It offers guidance for caregivers like you. Changes in behavior caused by Alzheimer’s and other dementias are challenging. It’s important to remember that these behaviors are the result of a damaged brain and not something the person is doing purposely. If inappropriate behavior occurs in public, be consistent and kind, but fi rmly remind the person that the behavior is not OK. It may help to distract the person from the immediate situation by directing their attention elsewhere or giving them some- thing else to do. Caregivers can create “business cards” stating briefl y, “My com- panion has dementia. Please be under- standing.” Caregivers would give these to hosts and hostesses when entering restau- rants, or discreetly hand them to sales- people if situations start to deteriorate because the companion exhibits unusual behavior or lack of a verbal fi lter. Be transparent with family and friends about the person with the disease. When they understand what’s causing these behaviors and that the individual needs their help and compassion, they tend to be less reactive or judgmental. The Alzhei- mer’s Association may be reached online (alz.org) or via the toll-free helpline at 800- 272-3900. Please don’t wait. DEAR ABBY: I’m a teen living with a foot in each world. My par- ents are religious and don’t DEAR approve of my sexuality (I am bisexual), and my peers ABBY stereotype my beliefs. I feel rejected by both worlds, and I’m trying to make it until I’m 18 so I can leave the situation. Lately, things have taken a turn for the worse. Both sides won’t accept me until I am completely Christian or completely not Christian. Is there any advice you can give me? — TEEN IN TURMOIL DEAR TEEN IN TURMOIL: Just this. You are a teenager. There are better days ahead for you. Your current circumstances may be unpleasant, but they won’t last for- ever. If living your truth will result in your being shunned, do whatever you must to survive for now. DEAR ABBY: I am 49. I have never mar- ried, and I am having a hard time fi nding the right woman for me. I have tried dating sites, dances, etc., and it seems like women are not interested in a gentleman anymore. I am about to give up on women because I don’t know what else to do. They like the bad-boy type, and I’m not one of them. I should mention that 25 years ago I thought I had found the right one, but I caught her cheating on me. Now women reject me. They say either, “You are not my type” or, “I just want to be friends.” Can you help me? — LONELY IN ARIZONA DEAR LONELY: I’ll try. When a woman tells you you’re not her type or she just wants to be friends, what she’s trying to convey is that the romantic chemistry is wrong. Having never met you, I can’t guess why that might be. Perhaps some of your close friends or family members could tell you if you need an image makeover. I will, however, offer this: Younger women are usually the ones who are attracted to the “excitement” (stress) that bad boys provide in abundance. Older ones would welcome a man with more tradi- tional values and who treats them well. In other words, you may be fi shing in the wrong pond. ed ne ORE M Show Listings, rds, o w s s o r C , u Sudok ts r o p S , h c r a Word Se ...? e r o M & s e Quizz With college commencements being canceled and uncertainty with high school graduations, HONOR YOUR SENIORS in this special way with a custom 18” x 24” corrugated plastic, double-sided yard sign! 2020 SENIOR Order by May 8th and we’ll deliver to your door before Memorial Day! SAMANTHA BACON ENTERPRISE HIGH SCHOOL 2020 SENIOR SCOTT DAVIS LA GRANDE HIGH SCHOOL 2020 SENIOR Just $ 9 each 2 $ or 2/ 49 SHANE ADAMS BAKER HIGH SCHOOL Call to place your order today! 541-624-6008 Check out our new TV Magazine Y R E V E Y A D R SATU BLACK E LOGO REVERS LOGO R - COLO G N CHAN BAR CA
