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About Hillsboro independent. (Hillsboro, Washington County, Or.) 189?-1932 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 30, 1907)
a v ; do hit sr-lfw" -.2 Ills i ill! m AUOHOL, i itK CtNT ANc gdallc IYrpant!onrAs slmilaflnjCifrjotfanilRci'iAi to Hie Siumdis aruiBoatb j IVomotes DipslionfWii ness and ItXonUins neitw I fpiuiu .Morphine norMutral. ISotNahcotic. Jix.Stnmm e fe-s-W- (VffrrVir tm Anerfrrt Rem thy forfVmflin lion . Sour Siomnch.Diarrliuci Worms .ToiTVTilsiouvrwnsIr ness and LOSS OF SLEEP. FacSmsk SiCnamriof NEW YORK. Tor Ir.funfg aid Children. Tha Kind Ycii Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of M . I IU ft W A II In 1)36 For Over Thirty Years 1 uaranlecd under theY Exact Copy of Wrapper. BO l-p o ri una m. n h h h m ptsi if b yjjy U W sat MM M vmb eeamuta eoaeaav. mtw ton am. 1 'I, ,iJmmjrr V iXi Yr'T f'T T3 Loaarevtt r. "My Statu." said tlia Virginian, "Is tha mother of Presidents." "Yea," aula tha Ohio man. "but tha eld lady baa outllrad her toys bait a cautery ar mora." Profeaaloaal AdTlea, . rhyslelan You'll have to b cnreful tlila summer and uot overexert .our- self. Patient Then you think I ought to Uke a vacation, eliT Physician Certainly not Didn't I just tell you not to overexert yourself? Tha Cob ve-raalloa of Cola. "Money talks," said the succinct per son. "Yea," answered MIm Cayenne, "and soma of It seems at present to be quite w"lly and scandalous In IU remarks." Washington Star. A groat Irrigation project involving an -yxpenditur of about $.'.",((K),0(K) baa been authorized by the Svcretary of Stat (or ludis. vtor.t Ihlnsr Abnat Than, "Appearance," remarked Mra. High Jina, "ara ao deceitful." 'I don't mind Hint ao much," alhed Mra. Aiuofh, "but they re so axpcoaira to keep upl" During the lifetime of a healthy hen aha will lay from 3iK to !M)0 eggs. Her tet laying capacity It during her aecoud year. Sixteen out of tha twenty-one Engllxh oronationa that took place between Wil liam II. and Klitnbcth, both Inclusive, were held on a Sunday. Km Better. Nan O, that atory looks too long. I don't want to read It. Fan Yea, you do. It's a story about woman you don't like. Japan has very few millionaires and practically no multi-millionaires. Tract at tha Tedd? Bear. When It sits up on Its haunches, In poae for catching flies ; When it oglpa you, my children, with Its wicked little eyes; When it reaches out caressingly, Its fore paws In the air That la tha time of peril, dear! Ne truce with the Teddy Bear I Peculiar Itladao Drama. Drums used In Hindoo religious pro cessions are called dolea. They are made of baked earth, and sometimes raLASD's bock dwellers. ,a,. Pla Aael.at lllahwar - ......led hr aa OU - Tlit re are i-rhaa many i.lle here uh il.m t know that Knelnn.1 uas in . ...... du ller. 8.1VS the I'hiludelphl rrheleiw, and th.r are the moat ancient li.mia-a I Kucland t.-day. The-e dellluirs are k-in.ue m-hli-h. hv the way. Is from rii. ..Id Knirllxu words. Keum Vaur, which slcnltl.. a s-reat ride. The rlde referred to overlooka the valley of Stour and rises to me ueiKoi ... fet The ro-k Is or sni.tiou m along It the r. k dwelling have been hn out. The only ro k nou present Inhabited are situated In the h.,. tu.lnred bouhler at the end of Klnver Edge, known as Holy Austin rock Tiie whole of this vast natural rort .. t 1 -lfK mt')r reaa la nteraiiy nonejTOU" - - dwelllncs. which have been construct .1 thrmt dlfTen'Ilt altitudes. The method of construction has been to hew out the rooms aud cut small apertures In the rock face for windows. In wnicD the modern dwellers have Inserted elnss. The chimneys are panicuiuny curious structures, being- forme.! of a groove cut In the face of the rock, sup planted with brickwork, v..ni.r n-L- h.i! !-.con so !"ns nin- liubltol that all traces or ine oiiHaora have dlnpeared. This cave Is knowu liK-ally as Meg a ox hole and It Is credited with hav Ins been In the early part of the lawt century the stronghold and hiding luce f a notorious bund of highwaymen, The ol.let Inhabitant of Holy Austin rock I the venerable Mrs. Chase, who Iwells In one of the houses on the tlrst floor, as It might be termed, aim dispenses tea and light refreshments to visitors. I'pon the third or top story Is to be seen the most curious stable In Kngliwid, perched hUh up In the rock, the only approach being by a narrw pathway running round the face of the rock Itself. The animal who occupies this unique stable Is quite a local celebrity, as he makes a weekly lourney Into Stourbridge to bring out supplies to the rock dwellers. This part of the rock Is, honeycombed through from side to sidr. MaJ. John W. l'owell, whose right srtn una shot oft durlnir the Civil War. a yard long, and twice as large at thetuni,erto,(k nml brouBht to a successful center as ai e.u.r r..u. au. ururas lssUH one f tUe ,11(st (iarU) feHt8 of are tnin copier Dnaiua or duwis, cov ered with parchment or calfskin, which is held In place by an Iron hoop. Headquarters for Information. Dicky You don't b'lleva that story about Little Red Itiding Hood an' (ha wolf, do youT Kitty Course I do. Dicky Well, if you'll list write te Pres'dent Roosevelt so' ask Mm about It he'll tell you It'a a fake. No Feara. Manufacturer (showing him around the workahopa) With our Improved machin ery wa can make one of tbeaa giant fira crackera every minute In tha day. Vialtor Aren't you afraid you will overstock the market T Manufacturer Not at all. There's fool born everv minute. Her Falllna-. "What a chronic blunderer Mrs. nit termini isl She bad several engaged couples at her hoiiHS for dinner the other evening, and she didn't do a thing but pair them all off wrongly." "Yes ; she doesn't seem to know how to put two and two together." A perfect head, viewed from the side, falls within a perfect square, averaging nine Inches for a man, and eight and a half for a woman. J3Y IMPURITIES IN TIIE DLOOO Whenever a sore refuses to teal it h because the blood Is not pure and nealthy, as it should be, but is infected with poisonous perms or some old blood taint which has corrupted and polluted the circulation. Those most usually afflicted with eld sores arc persons who have reached or passed mid dle life. The vitality ct the blood and strength of the system, have naturally begun to decline, and the poisonous perms hich have accumulated because vi u Mssi:.a nnu inactive condition ot the system, or some hereditary taint which has hitherto been held ia checli, now force nn outlet on the face, arms, legs or other part of the body. The place prows red and nnry, festers and fats into the surrounilin-r tissue until it become a rhrnnir. anA tMr ulcer, fed and Lcpt open by the impurities with which the tlood is saturated. jNoth-nj is more trying and disagreeable than a stubborn, non-hcalinj sore. The very fact that it resists ordinary remedies and treatments i3 pood reason lor suspicion; the same perm-producing cancerous ulcers is back of every old sore, and especially is this true if the trouble b an inherited one. Washes, salves, nor indeed anything else, applied directly to the sore, can. 1 IwasafMeaMwUhaaoreontny ?oan? Prnancr.tgoo.l ; neither will remov face of four yoars standing, it ing the sore with caustic plasters or tha rA::i?;T.rAV.n,iiUoU: M,S. Y" a lasting cure. If in every war natit i bwinnii every particle of the diseased flesh, were S&iVnE1 at - war another sore would come, be- traated me but the. enra continued, cause the trouble is in the blood, find the Xl?u0JroLZU SI000 CANNOT BE CUT AWAY. and after talna- It a whtla I was The cure must come by a thorough cleans- cotnpletely cured. My blood la Jnir f th. bliwt T O Q o ii t . t now pure and bealthy from tha In 01 lne t1100!- I" h. S. S. Will be found rieot of a. s. a., and thr haa not a remedy forsores and ulcers cf every kind 9r.B.lKu' h ,or ,in' " '"a unequalled blood purilier-one that Kocs oirecny into tiie circulation and promptly cleanses it cf all poisons and taints. It pets down to the very bottom cf the trouble and forces out every trace cf im purity and mates a complete and l.istin(f cure. S. S. S. changes the quality of th blood so that instead of feeili niT tlt a-Kotaaahsl '. PURELY VEGETABLE fartS ith impurities, it nourishes the irritated, inflamed flesh with healthy blood. Then the sore begins to heal, new flesh is formed, all pain and inflammation leaves, the place scabs over, and when S. S. S. has purified the blood tha sore ia permanently cured. S. 8. S. is for sale at all first class drug stores. Write for our special book on sores and ulcers and any other medical advice ou desire. Ve make no charge for the book or advice. THCSWIFT SPECIFIC CO.. ATLANTA. C4a modern times. While making his ex plorations of the canons of the Colora do River In 18tl!), says the author of "The Musters of Fate," he was called upon to face great dangers and tolls. Ills own account of his explorations gives some Idea of the difficulties en countered. I hare a barometer on my back, which rather Impedes my climbing. The walls of the Assure are of smooth lime stone, offering neither foot- nor band hold, so I supiort myself by pressing my back against one wall and my knees sgnlnst the other, and In this way lift my body. In a ah Hilling man ner, a few feet ut a time, unt.l I have, perhaps, made twenty-five feet of the ilist.inco, when the crevice widens a little, and I cannot press my knees against the rocks In front with suffi cient power to give uie support In lift ing my body, and I try to go back. This I cannot do without falling. So I struggle along sldewlse, farther Into the crevice, where It narrows. I llnd I can get up no farther, and cannot get bnck, for I dare not let go with my hand, and cannot reach foot hold below. I call to Itradley for help ; lie cannot reach me. Then he looks round for some stick or limb of a tree, but Buds none. The moment Is criti cal. Standing oil my toes, my muscles liegln to tremble. If I lose my hold I shall fall to the Nittoin, and then kt- linps roll over the liench and tumble atlll further down the cliff. At this Instant It occurs to Bradley to take off his trousers, which he does, and swings them down to me. I hug close to the rock, let go with my hand, seise the dangling legs, and with his assistance I am enabled to get to the top. Tnna ntarvw Wast Union, Ohio. W. L. DOUGLAS $3.00 & $3.50 SHOES tS.Vod ai'MOtt FOR IVFRT MEMBFR Of "w TMf fMILV. r ALL PHICtS. aaTJUU( b.o,.. afoca or maa at a.Vf f7nu1f.f )"" Atawt'e tS 93. HO mtom nbiVairU WiaM awy )wr SMMtfiefme, Til ft R C A 0! W. U Uonglaa aho ara worn bv mnrm per la all of Ufa than anf othae anaae, la het-aiua of tt,.ir eie.UtU style, Suing, and suirttr wearing oualltiea. 1'lie Me-tton iff the leathers ami ether ai.lenala for e.-a part rf th. .Iioa, and averr detail nf tha waking IsIoi'IimI after fr the aeiapiarf aals.unnaf.aperlateadeato, foremen and hilit thoemak.ra, h. rwelT the hlgheat way paid la the ali,e IndintrT, and alioaa wurkmanahi eaaaot ha eirelled. If I mull tk voa Into at lr. fatnrfM at Srnrkton.Maas, and ih.. roa ho rarefullv W U Iwxiiliw ,ho are anxte, ya amald then aadarasand war they hold their shapa, tt hatter. 1 ? "af sea aeSI 0.M 0aeaf mmmmt h aawa7f m v . la. I NtttfiitM hdMtn his ntiu ami prif on lh tlt4m o .rH. t ,,u hl- tnfrvr sKak Tak Xm ftitbt.t. y h bmm .Itr ,mmUrw fyrThr V afaM taiisr Jraaa I ssiajiniaj. vaaM mmlrtfrm rT.L,M(l har. L. a, Bn.klM, at a Itarlnajr Vaikn Knslnrer.. The oiMratlons of Yankee engineers are a source of constant wonder and bewilderment to all foreigner The daring way in which tha Americans blow up mountains that come in their way, or string bridges ovtr seemingly impassable canyons nlmoxt takes their breath away. On one Job In South America a contractor used about $mi,(mio worth of iowder in blasting. He employed S.uxJ men and completed a piece of work In les than three months that local authorities said could not tie done Inside of ten years. He put 3. kegs of powder in one blast, and when the shot went off it sent over Tmi trnlnlonds of ris k down a cliff Into the river. There was such a muss of debris thnt It raised the water of the ttrenm SS feet lu less than twenty min utes. The channel had to he blasted out to let the water through. The force of this Immense charge was so great thnt It sent huge boulders the she of 1'X cars sailing over the hill like a rt'k of buzzards flying over a barn. -Toledo Illade. Ilaadleapped. "Too bad alxmt Keene. There's a fund of g,sl humorous stuff In tlie snti.-s of the wntild-l society people In his pew neighborhood." "Well, he's Just tlie fellow to take advantage of that for bis funny sktche," "Yes, but his wife fs trying to get Into society there." Catholic Standard and Tlmea. A-rieatr. Spsin't king, when tha new little babe wakes him up At midnight all ml.ty and dim Should tell hira he ll do to him ifhe ain't gvd What the Cnlted States did to him Hon.too Post. The tramp eats to lire; B fact, that ! about all he It willln. to do for the privilege. She (looking aw, ff)-H" a? th borlson Is! HeLyei; Just swept It witn my eye. p Transcript. "Promise me that vou U iwr marry again when I'm deaiL" "0' that' w soul, you may u perf-tr ,ure'" IV urge r. "Say. Dick, what i. the arw fad they call phonetic spelling y "If klncL Jim, tney used to von aa 1 school for using. "naitlnore American. "What did old n,,,. air when you told him you would lit tin t0 fln(1 you an opening in ni, 0ffly' ",,e showed .me the door." Baltimore American, Patient When yuu'r 111, doctor, do you treat yourself ? "So, I call In one of my colleagu, ,- rarD can't I call ia oue or them the oo that cureu your" Kurger. Tomniypa .iV. . . ijthmus ct Panama? Pa -The l.thuius of Pan ama, Tommy, la u narrow atrip of land connecting Ceutrul Amrrlra and the Lnited States Treiisury.-Kam'S Horn, Mrs. Hlghbrldge-Do JU ""J 11 more economical to do vour own cook- ug7 Mrs. HurnhRiii Much more, find my husband does not eat half so much as when we h,i ( cook. Scraps. Tlmklns I hute that Mlow Plant em. He Is always talking "hop. Slmp- klns riantem. the undfrtakerT Tlmp- Klna Yes. Every time I meet blm he asks after my bealtb.-Detrolt Trib- uue. "John's done right well up In the city, after all." "Uo telL" "Yes; I've Jes' beam that he's reentered from one appendicitis, two ortennoblles, one heart failure an' three business ones." Atlanta Constitution. "How much postage will this re quire?" asked the young author. "It one of my manuscripts." "Two cents on oum-e," answered the lst offlee clerk. "That's first-class mat ter." "Oh. thank vmt !"-Judce. Laundryman I regret to tell you, lr, thut one of your shirts is lost. Cus tomer But, here, I hav Just paid yoj 2 cents for doing It up. Laundryman Quite right, sir; we laundered It be fore we lost it Harpers Weekly. "Things are not as they used to be," aid the man of melancholy reminis cences. "No, answered Mr. Dustln Stag regretfully. "The times was when great wealth would get a man out of trouble. Now it gets hlin Into It Washington Star. "This Is a queer world," sighed Mr. Splurglt. "Whllt I was wondering where I was golui to get the money to pay the, rent this Bonth, I hapissned In the kitchen and hard the washerwom an say she'd Just ptli down $1,0(10 on a new bouse." Detr Ifre Press. Ihjctor What? Troiiid with slo.-p-lessness? Eat sonifthlni before going to bed. Patient Why, doew, you once told me never to eat anything before going to bed. (With dignity ) Pooh, pooh ! That was Inst January. Science has made enormous strides since then. Ex. "You'd make a pretty pod clerk," said the employer, sarcastically, "If you only had a little mors common sense." "Indeed!" replied the clerk. "But did it ever occur to you that If I had a little more common sense I wouldn't be a clerk at til?" London Tit-Bits. Housekeeper I hear four brother, who died In California, left you fl.OtiO, Dinah. That will be i great help to you. Washlady Deed; It will, missis! Ah's been needlu' a pltuner an a pho- nograft an' a oil paints ob mahsalf in a gilt frame fo' yeabt,m' now, bre de good Lord, Ah kin bib n : puck. Lawyer (examining witness) Do you know the man who formerly owned this gun? Witness T sir. Lawyer Is he In the courtroom? Witness No, sir. Lawyer Wbfi Is he? Wit ness I don't know. Lawyer When and where did you s blm last? Wit nessSix months ago-t bis funeraL Chicago News. "Well," aald he, aniiooa to patch in their quarrel of yesterday, "aren't you curious to know wbnt'i In thl pn age?" "Not very." replied the still belligerent wife. Indifferently. "WelL It's something for the one I love best In all the world." "Ab! I suppose It's those susfienders you said you needed." The Catholic Standard and Times. The big touring car bail Just whlwed by with s roar like a gigantic rocket, and Tat and Mike turned to watch It disappear In a cloud of dust "Thlm chug wagons must pott s hape av cash." said Mike. "Tbe rich Is fairly burnln' money." "An b the smell at It," sniffed Pat, "It must be thot taint ed money we do be hearin' so much aboot" Success Magatlae. They Didn't Tsltf. "That society newspal"''' published some very flattering remarks about me," began Mia. I "Yea." replied her best friend; "but It was horrid of the editor to go and poll It the way he ,ild." "Spoil It Indeed: Why. h M,, ' was a beautiful belle of the younger set and " "Yes, and then he put your photo- grapn right nmh-r It" X-aast A. mm4 Maw. Miss Gaddle Enemies. T1 Why, I thought she loTed you not long ago? Miss Bright So .t did. and she kvea me not now. Philadelphia Press. If a man knows that other people are not any bigger f(0s tnna be Is be knows all about hiunsn nature that Is worth knowing. There Is something the matter with a woman when she it willing to Vet a man ao an the talking. Our Idea of a charming woman It VATimZ STORIES BT 8ATX0E3. Isaks that Klllr-4 a M.sktr as lived 1st Vlrtlsa'a Shall. President Itoost'velt s attacks upon the authenticity of other person's na ture stories and the men who tell them may lead to International complications if continued, for to-day several new brands of anecdotes of animals came to town, and tbe sutbors are ready to stsnd up for their rights snd their ver acity. On board the British freight steam ship Indrapura, la port from Japan and India, Is Chow, a chow dog. Chow ould rather fight than eat, and he demonstrated his predominating desire on severs occasions during tbe 30,000 nille Journey that tbe Indrapura. under Captain Kelway's command, ended opon ber arrival In New York. Be sides Chow, tbe Indrapura boasts of Tyser, a wire-haired Irish terrier, and Pickles, a gamecock. Said Mr. Wain arrlght, first officer of the Indrapura "All this talk about nature faking is rot. for I can tell yon things tbst hsp pened on this ship that neither Presi dent Roosevelt, Dr. Long, Mr. Roberta, nor Chauncey M. Depew has ever seen. Ion wouldn't believe, for Instance, that the gamecock can clean the deck In ten seconds of every living thing. And Mr. Roosevelt would perhaps not be lieve that Pickles has a habit of Jump ing on the back of Cbow, digging bis spurs Into the Chinese dog's hide, snd then calmly sttemptlng to pick Chow's ey s out The last time we rescued tbe dog It took tbe entire crew of forty -sey en Lascars to get Pickles from bis back. We tried to clip Pickles' spurs, but they resisted the sharpest knife, and Anally the smith shaped some metal raps, nice ly rounded, so ss to make tbe spurs harmless. "Next day Pickles began picking the dog In the port side with bis beak. He kept It up every day for a week, and then be switched to tbe starboard side. Finally one day the howls of the cbow dog again resounded through the steam ship. Tickles wss In bis accustomed place, his capped spurs dug deep Into boles which be bsd picked, and be was again trying to pick out Chow's eyes." Vivian Tuthlll, tbe Indrapura's third officer, told a nature story about a snake and a monkey which be got at Singapore and which fought a battle to the death. The snake was a beauti ful reptile of tbe garter variety, and tbe monkey was a busby-faced little fellow of sweet temper and great agil ity. One morning tbe snake and mon key were found In deadly battle. Tbe monkey was kilted snd the snake crawl ed Into Its skull snd circled about In It, entering In at one eye and out of snotber. Finally be got all knotted up and died. Mr. Tuthlll dried tbe outfit under tbe fierce tropical sun In the Red Sea and to-day he shows his friends tbe fantastic souvenir of the bleached monkey's skull with the little snake, practically petrified, still entwined through the monkeys' bead. Second Engineer Fraser, of the freighter Indravelll, lying almost along side the Indrapura at tbe Bush stores In South Brooklyn, told of a battle be tween a cheetah on board the Indra velll and a bulldog In this harbor. If Roosevelt decides sgnlnst tbe cheetah as sn easy victor over a bulldog he will have to do so over tbe words of seven British marines, stanch snd true. The cheetah was chained to tbe port rail on the sun deck snd was uncon cernedly washing bis face as the two men discussed him. I've got a dog that can do that cat In about two mluutes," said tbe longshoreman. "Bring along the dog," said the steve dore. The cheetah paid no particular atten tion to the dog when tbe latter was let go snd made for the chained anlmaL It went calmly on wiping Its face In Its morning ablutions. The dog was with in a foot of tbe cheetah when tbe latter tuddenly raised both his front paws, caught the bulldog between them st the neck snd In a twinkling ripped blm jpen. Tbe cheetah then continued his washing exercises ss If nothing had hapiiened. New York Evening Telegram. The School of Experte-ae. Stevenson says In his essay on "Youth and Crabbed Age" that when the old man reproves tbe youth snd points bis folly by saying: "I thought so, too, when I was your age," be Is really prov ing the case of tbe youth. This Idea, that youth must keep to Its own kind of wisdom snd cannot take to Itself ready-made the wisdom of age, apjiears In a dialogue which the Chicago Trib une prints : "Daughter, you ought not to wear those high heeled shoes. They will make corns on your feet" "How do you know, mamma?" "By experience. I used to wear them when I was a glrL" "Did grandma tell you they would make corns on your feet If you wore them?" "Sbe found out by experience. Just ss I did." "Hadn't she sny mamma to warn her gainst wesrlng tbem?" "Oh. yes." "But sbe wore them, Just the same?" To be sure." "And you did, too?" "Yea; that was what I wss telling you." "Well, If I ever hsve sny daughters I ought to be able to give them a warn ing against high heeled shoes from my awn experience, oughtn't I?" Then sbe put tbem on. Osbe Gsshall (on the southeast cor ner of the dry goods box) It must be tur"ble f be ketched out In a brain storm. HI Hemlock (on the southwest corner of the dry goods box) Wy, sll a feller'd bey t do 'nd be t h'lst one o them paranoias, sn' he'd never know 'twui rslnln'. Puck. Wall Maaat Frarare. Sydney Smith declared that the chil dren of Bishop Pblllpntts osed te end their usual prayers by praying for Earl Grey, explaining that "paps tells as It Is our duty to pray for our greatest enemies," -London Spectator. No msn need feel hurt if people say be is not good looking. asarlty at Satsss, A ease of remarkable sagacity la pair of ravens Is related In tbe Field. Two collie dogs were bunting rsbblts snd the ravens were sosrlng overhead. As the dogs drove tbe rabbit out luto the ojen tear the top of a hill It rsn straight Into a trsp snd was csught As the dogs came near the raveus came down snd by loud croaking managed to drive sway both. Tbey then started to devour the rabbit, which they quick ly dlspstcbed. Baatpar." The word "bumper," meaning a drinking vessel, derived Its origin from the Ruuisn Catholic religion. It was the custom lu England In an cient times to drink tbe health of tbe Pope after dinner In a full glass of wine. This wss called "ad boa pere." from which we hare the contraction "bumper." Lak 1st Saaall Pfaasbers. "I bear." said III Tragedy, "that while you were playing In one of the country towns a Are broke out la the theater." "Yes," replied Low Comedy, "and there might have been a horrible panic but for one tblng." "What was thst?" "There weren't enough people In the bouse to create one. u.ik.h m,m Snd Mra. Wlnstow's Sonthtos Syrup the Iks I reoiedr to uas lot their chUdxaa luring the teething period. rear Thlasr. "I don't suppose Miss Tsssay ever bad any beaux when she was a young girl." "No, she wss too aigmnea ana old- fashioned." "And the men don t like her now, either." "No, she's too kittenish now." Phil adelphia Ledger. Wat Always Safe. "Don't you think a msn ought to tell bis wife sll about his buslneas affairs? 'I should say not A friend of mine who was about to start en a Journey bor rowed $50 from a rich old uncle and then told his wife of It. He was wrecked st ses, crushed In a rsiiwsy collision, or something of that sort, snd when bis wife collected his life insurance, of course, she felt bound to pay bark thit loan." Banking by Mail WE PAY 4 INTEREST Ob savings deposits of a dollar or more, compounded twice every year. It is lust as easy to open a Savings Account with ns by Mad aa if yon lived next door. Send for our free book let. "Banking by Mail." snd lcaxn lull particulars. AdJroad Oregon Trust & Savings Bank Portland, Oregon Sixth and Washington Sts. fTO , Vitus' ranre ana all Iterroaa OUraaaa MA permanentlr eared nr Dr. Kline's urrat Jrv. Rrsior.r. Hand fur niKi(iirm iu, tno treaties, Im. H. Hauiae. ixL. ma arch bl, riuia.i-a. Hla Eaay Job. "Isn't this s wearisome sort ef oeeu pstion?" ssked the customer. "You have to remember so much, snd snswer so many questions." Not st all, madam," answered the book store salesman. All I bave to remember Is tbe titles, names of sutbors, snd prices." "You sell a great many of the popular novels, don't you?" Yes, ma am, but I don't bave to read them." If Hlht to Conaplala. "See here!" cried the Irate man. "I purpose to sue you. Look st my head ! You professed to cure) " Wslt a minute," Interrupted the maker of Fakeley's Balsam; "we ad vertise merely that we cure partial baldness snd not "Well, I was only partially bald when I started using your stuff; bow I haven't a hair!" "Well, then you're cured of your par tial baldness, sren't you?" "Dsset," It Is a strange fact that the word "dunce," meaning a stupid person, comes from the name of one of the most eminent scholars of bis time, Duns Scotas. In tbe Reformation the works of the schoolmen fell Into disfavor with the reformers, snd Duns, who wss tbe leader of the schoolmen, wss often spoken of with scorn by the votaries of the new learning. As time went by the name of Duns became a byword for utter stupidity. Na Way Oat af It. Rouget ds Liale was composing tbe Marseillaise. "It seems to be np to me to do some thing of ths kind." he said. "Tbe people have grown tired of hearing There'll Be a Hot Time in the Old Town To-night' and they're hollering for something fresh." Endeavoring to make It musical and catchy, and as unlike "Hail, Columbia." as ba possibly could, he tousled up bis hair, sswed a few more notes on his vio lin, and proceeded to grind out the rhymes to fit them. Dlseoaraajed. Lovely Fancee Oh, George, I some times think I would rather die than be married I George What darling! Rsther die? Lovely Fsncee Yes; you don't have to rehearse half a dosen times for that yon know. Mara Dasgsf Ahead. "Captain," said the frightened passen ger, "hsven't you got a big load ef people on this boat?" "Yes, sir," gloomily answered ttie cap tain of the excursion steamer. "And thst Isn't the worst of It As sooa ss we reach St. Joe s good many of them sre going to double op for tbe rat urn trip." Chicago Tribune. A Hair Dressing Nearly every one likes a fine hair dressing. Something to make the hair more manage able; to keep It from being too rough, or from splitting tt the ends. Something, too, that will feed the hair at the same time, a regular hair-food. Well-fedhalrwillbestrong.and will remain where It belongs oo the head, not on the comb! Tha beat kind ef a testimonial or ever slaty yeara." Jk Had l!i tc -U.ML Alee aaeaatMtarers ar a. a. ....... Caador. Borem Hello, old man ! What's the matter? You look disgusted. Cutting Y'es, I feel that way. Borem Why, what have you run up sgalnst now? Cutting You. I didn't see you soon enough to escape. Philadelphia Press, I Shake Into Year Shoes Allen's Foot-Kme. A powder. It makes tight or new shoes foel aaiir. Jt Is a certain cure lor swuatlua. calloua and hot. tired, achlns fei-L, Bold bv all PruirKttta. I'rlra 2.x). Trial nark- axe mailed FKKK. Address Allen & UUiutud, Litor,ew York. Wily Woman. "Women sre such convenient liars," declared Mr. Jefferson Judd. "When the Wlgglnses were here to dinner yon kejrt saying Mrs. Wiggins didn't eat enough to keep a bird alive. You know that wasn't so." "Well," retorted Mrs, Jndd. 'Tliere'a different kinds tit birds. You may have had a canary In your mind while I was referring to an ostrich." Kan sas City Times, L J Don't Push The horse can draw load without help, if reduce friction to almost nothing by applying; i i W the you IJl MicaAxK to the wheels. No other lubri cant ever made wears so lonff and saves so much horsepower. Next time try Mica Axle Griasc Standard OU Co. ENGRAVING Write Us PLATES TOR PRINTING HICKS-CHATTCN Portland Oregon BRING VOUR TOOTH TROttrUM TO US Before Coins tlaawhere. DR. B. C. WRIGHT. 342'4 WaahingtenSt. Portland Oregoa. ST. HELEN'S HALL PORTLAND. ORt CON A Girls' School nf tha bli(hcit elasa. Collegi ate department. Wmle. Art. Klocullon. Gym nasium, fall term oins rk-ptembar 16. St NO TOR CATALOGUE n US It! E S SCO L LEG L TENTH AND MORRISON STREETS PORTLAND. OSCOON A. P. ARMSTRONG, LL. ., PRINCIPAL. Quality la our motto. Wa ed urate for success, and sand each atudent to a position whm eon, patent many mora calls for help than wa eaa asset Individual instruction insures rapid pror rasa. All modern methods of bookkeepina ara Uuaht; also rapid ealculationa, correepondenea, commercial law, offlca work, ita Chart lar ia our shorthand aaay, rapid, lesibla. Beautiful cataloyua. business forma and penmanship fraa. C. Gee Wo Tha Wall-Known Reliable CHINESE Root and Herb I DOCTOR Hst mads a Ufa tturfr of roota and herns, and In that Studv discovered and l. .,.,r. . ',Z " aerlul r.mad.es. wu"u wn 1Z1"r.'?,t " ' -" Carres " vrwmiwi, or itnout tha Aid at a knife. Ha OTt.ra r4mmm a r-. r-. . t. ... Throat, Kheumatlsm, N.rrousnes;. Nrryou; Debo T. Stomarh, Lirir. Kidney Triublcs: s'so Lost . . nwnssana ah rrivatauta A SURE CANCER CURE Juat Reeelr.d (me Peking. China-Sate, Sara . at cuanUICa IP YOU ' APLICTF.D. DONT DELAY. V roa cannot call write lor srmron klsnS 'and drca ler. Inclose cants In stamps. CONSULTATION FREE ii11. CHINESE MEDICINE CO. I62i Pirst St.. Cor. Morrison. Portland, Or .arm Please Mention This Paper. P. N. U, Ke, 34- 07 one who Is Ignorant of her charms. WasiMr"hi " vortlsars al,