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About Washington County hatchet. (Forest Grove, Or.) 1895-1896 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 23, 1896)
WASHINGTON COUNTY nATC II ET. A C E T Y L E N E GAS. T b s S liig tu g C h ild r e n o f H o rn in g . to attempt to resume his place, but he center, now stood in solitary state with A row of children suddenly filled the B o m e t h l n s A b o u t t h e 1‘r o d u c t t o u o# had lost interest in the performance si folded arms and glanced quickly along riverfront. They seemed to ooroe forth, th e N e w lllu iu in H n t. the motionless line, while back of him multaneously with his own loss of pres tige among the crowd, and so, after a as if at a preeoncerted signal, through By heating In an electric furnace a some thirty yards, all along the edge of the low doorways and over the narrow mixture of lime ami carbon a combina the parade, in baggies, carryalls, 'busses, moment’s wavering, he turned about doorsteps of the Horning cottages. With tion of the two substances ensues, and in long somber rank afoot. Central City and shouldered his sullen way toward By CHARLES KING, D. & A., his buggy, only stopping long enough to out further delay they burst into a song. a stone-like material, the calcium car J e t t h o r e f T h e Colonel’s hauijhtur," "T he looked admiringly on. For a moment the main interest seemed to center on inquire of a civilian the name of the of They were in excellent practice, for the bide, is produced. When water come« D e te n e r,” “iY u m Che /{units." T h i n , words of the song were made quite clear: in contact with it, part of the hydro raven R anch, ’ "T w o Soldiers." Lieut. Hearn, and fingers could be seen ficer. “Cross, eh? Capt. Cross. Sure of Ho, Jo h n B arley cor»! pointed, and voices heard announcing. gen of the water combines with the Ho, Jo h n B arley co rn ! that, are you? All right. I’ll fix him.” carbou. forming acetylene; the rest of ID u p jlic it. 1*0, by J. B Lipptooett Oompaey. “ That’s him.” as he stood tall and erect he growled between his set teeth as he A ll d ay long I raise m y song nSlsSstpfeia. and publlalad by sp ed *i s r r s a jf. in front of the troop he was commanding To o ld Jo h n B a rle y c o rn ! tlie hydrogen, with the oxygen of the strode away. meat wiui t i u a ^ in old Blauvelt's absence. When the song was done, some 24 water, combines with tlie calcium, When a few moments later the long “Oh, Fred, and we've got to say yes, With flourish of trumpets and three re childish eyes were fixe«} on the strangers forming calcium hydrate. for Mr. Hearn won't come," answered sounding ruffles the band swept out from line of officers halted in front of the in the boat. This apparatus is of the type of the Mrs. Mabel, with grief in her eye* the right front,and then all eyes were sud colonel and raised their hands in simul “ They always sings—Hornin’s famed “ W e’ve got to say, 'Bring him by all denly greeted by an unaccustomed sight. taneous salute he responded with some for that. Two hundred years, they say, means;' and yet bow 1 hate to have oar On the troops, long schooled in military thing less than his customary graceful j the children o’ Hornin have snug to the pretty dinner spoiled! I t the train conld etiquette, the effect was not at the time deliberation and inquired: I passin boats. But i t ’s the yachts that “ What on earth was going on there only be later' apparent—neither by word nor sign was ¡they makes their money off o f,” was “That woold spoil it still more, Ma there indication that anything nnnsual that there was so much giggling in bel, tor then yoar— Oh!” said the cap had occurred; but in the populace, long ranks? It was mainly in front of you, ! M ills’ uublnskiug introduction of the tain, suddenly recollecting himself, and accustomed to individual visits to the Mr. Martin. Have you been attempting waiting choir. Something of the youth and freshness of those clear, high voices turning back to his particular little fort and to observation of its military re any witticisms, sir?” “ Not that I can now recall, colonel,” that only a moment ago had mingled so ■having mirror, before which he began quirements. "Keep off the grass," and bcsily arranging the loop of his gold by no means intrude upon the space re responded Martin, with his usual drawl. deliciously with the pinks and the rose scents in the homely, old fashioned gar helmet cord. served for military exercises, the sensa “Possibly the appearance of our Chicago “ For then?” exclaimed pretty Mr*. tion was immediate. Elbowing his way- friend in the role of adjutant was what dens had gone. The children, after Lane, speeding across the space between through the crowd standing at the edge prompted their merriment. If you in pocketing their pennies, had turned un her toilet table and her liege lord’s shav of the parade ground, with cigar tip vited him to accompany you I trust you naturally incurious backs on us and the river. They had learned already ap ing corner, ami laying her white hands tilted in his mouth, his light spring over will excuse it.” “ Whom do you mean, and what do parently to take a strictly professional upon his shoulder knots and gazing np coat thrown back, with the same cool view of the world as it passed.—“ A Into his half averted face with sparkling deliberation that characterized all his you mean?” "Why, Mr. Abrams took post on your Cruise on the Norfolk Broads,” by Auua eyes—“ For then, yon dear old— Yon movements, the representative of The f a r ’* - ' haven't sent east for flowers?” M A K IN G A C E T Y L E N E GAS. Palladium sauntered forth upon the left and rear, sir, until Cross invited him Bowman Dodd, in Century. "Perhaps it was some other fellow sacred precincts, and never hesitating elsewhere. I’m sorry for Cross; he has familiar hydrogen gas generator of the T h e I n g é n i o n s K in g . then." said the captain, dubiously. until he had almost reached the com a wife and family; and yonder goes the Apropos of Queen Margherita’s de chemist. In all such apparatus for the “Oh, Fred, yon darling! I hadn't manding officer, presently came to a gentleman, bound for the telegraph hoped for anything half so lovely. Will species of “parade rest” of his own, half office no doubt. What won’t The Pal votion to her husband, a little anecdote production of acetylene due regard has is told which I believe to be perfectly to be had to the extraordinary rapid they be here on this train, really? That’s sitting on the backs of his hands, which ladium say now?” “You don’t mean he was right here by true. The locks of King Humbert, be ity of evolution, comparable only to the why you didn't want dinner served until were supported on the knob of his mas so late, was it? Georgia and I were say sive cane, and there coolly surveyed the me during parade?” said Morris, growing it told, were formerly as black as a evolution of carlion dioxide gas from I raven’s wing, and the pride of his sodium bicarbonate and acid. In the ing just now if we only had a few flowers proceedings from the very spot reserved very red. “Certainly, sir,” spoke Capt. Brodie. j charming consort’s heart. Almost sud- outer casing, which is about one-half the table would be perfect. I must run for the adjutant, one yard to the rear and tell her.” And impulsively she and three to the left of the commanding “ You could have smelled his cigar if the ! denly these locks turned white, and the filled with water, a fixed bell or receiv the wind hadn't been blowing from the : queen, like the fond wife she is, quite er is inverted, whose lower lip reaches raised her soft lips to his face and kissed officer. him enthusiastically. “You are so I fretted over the fact. A certain little to within a short distance of the bot Some of the soldiers in ranks, unable stables.” But the appearance of the wagonette delicacy of feeling prevented her from tom of the containing vessel. A rod thoughtful, Fred!” to repress their merriment at the sight “ Very,” he responded, with much of so unusual a breach of etiquette, whirling into garrison with the tall form referring to the matter with her hus passes through the top of the receiver, gravity of mien. “ And that’s what could not refrain from tittering. The of Col. Lawler, a dust colored figure band. So, without saying a word, she the joint tieiug made gas-tight by a prompted me to suggest to your ladyship voices of the file closers could almost be from the crown of his felt hat down to purchased a bottle of black hair dye, cud stuffing box, so that the rod can he the propriety of throwing a wrapper over heard in stern, low toned reproach. his very boots, put an end to further re one morning placed it on the king’s pushed up and down. To ;he lower those snowy shoulders. The orderly has “Stop that laughing, Murphy!” “ Quiet, marks. Morris hastened to meet his dressing table. end of the rod a eonieal wire basket is left the hall door open, and all Central there, Duffy!” Morris himself could see guest, merely nodding response to Lane's The day wore on and King Humbert secured. From the top of the receiver City seems out here to-night. There goes that something unusual was going on, courteous invitation to bring him to din appeared at luncheon as usual with his a tube passes off to conduct the gas the 'assembly,' and your train should be but, totally unconscious that his own ner. own white hair, greatly to the queen’s to the burners, and a hole with lightly here in fifteen minutes. 1 suppose I can official precincts were the scene of the secret disappointment. Now, the queen fitting screw stopper is provided ii: ihc CHAPTER X. tell the colonel as he drives past on the solecism, never changed his position, owned a pet in a little dog, white as top for the introduction of calcium car Capt. Lane's quarters, as has been way down to meet him?" but stood there statuesque, soldierly and snow, and the dog, as the afternoon bide. said, were charmingly furnished, and Ordinarily the announcement of the precise, all unconscious of his self ap wore on, failed to come, as usual, to his adorned with attractive pictures and advent of some each high functionary as pointed staff officer slouching behind mistress’ side. What was her surprise PUT IN JAIL. bric-a-brac. The dining room wee the judge advocate of the division would him. As for Mr. Abrams, happy in the when the door opened and he bounded A n A t t o r n e y 's P e c u lia r P r e d ic a m e n t have been amtmsufficient to indnce the conviction that the people could not but ■mall, as dining rooms generally are in in with a coat as black as ink. The king in a J u s t i c e T r ia l. eolonel to tnm over the command at pa look on and envy tne proud prominence army garrisons, but by dint of moving followed, smiling broadly. “ You see,” “I was imprisoned in a stable once," rade to Maj. Kenyon and to go forth of the representative of the press, he ap ont the stove, which until now had cum be said, “ the use to which I have put with to meet the coming man. But here peared to have no other care than that bered one corner, and then crowding the the hair dye!” From that day Queen said a well-known attorney to a Wash was the elite of Central City, as well as of the criticism due the public of the sideboard into its place, sufficient room Margherita resigned herself to the fact ington (Star writer. "I had been re a strong delegation of the masses, gath martial exercises now taking place. 1 had been gained to admit of extending that her lord preferred to leave his locks tained to recover a mule in a mountain ered to see the garrison, and Morris par Taat it was probably the colonel's inten the table diagonally and seating four to nature’s own discretion.—Woman at county of North Carolina. The mule ticularly prided himself upon the sol tion to make a speech of some kind to teen people thereat, and now, with the Home. had Is'en taken from my client and 1 dierly grace and style with which he his men Mr. Abrams did not doubt, and curtains drawn, but the soft evening obtained a writ of replevin, under A U s e F o r t h e S h a r k . presided at the most stately ceremony that The Palladium should have every breeze playing through the open case which the sheriff turned the animal Probably few people who have read over to me. He was placed ill a log ment and the broad hallway, in the soft, of the military day. If he were to fail word of it he fully intended. The band by this time was hammering yet brilliant light of dozens of wax the countless stories of the savage shark, stable until the case could lie tried the to appear at the head of his troops, if all that line of officers werff to march to the half way down tjje line, and the officer candles set in sconces on the walls or in [ the “ banditof the seas,"as he is called, next morning. Court convened about front and salute Maj. Kenyon instead of of the day, coming suddenly in the north- j heavy candelabra on the damask covered know that he is a very nseful creature sunrise, under a big oak tree, and the him, people might really get the idea west gate from a visit to the guard, be board, a merry party had gathered for I for man. The liver is found to contain mule was sent for. hut the brute had that it was the infantry field officer who came aware that something was exciting | one of the “lovely dinners" for which au oil of a beautiful color, which never escaped and could not be found. becomes turbid and possesses medicinal was the post commander, not himself. the merriment of the few men on the Mrs. Lane was already famous. “ 'Cou't will come to order,' said the qualities of a very valuable character. Justice, 'an' es the critter is gone, the No. In all the yellow radiance of his verandas of the cavalry quarters, and The skin, after being dried, takes the red headed lawyer'll take Ids place, be cavalry plumage Morris strode forth then caught sight of this strange figure polish and harduess of mother of pearl, in' as he was the las' one thet bed 'irn from his veranda and stood revealed in out on the parade. He looked hurriedly about in search of the colonel's orderly, and oh being marbled bears a resem in charge.' the rays of the westering sun. His or but Brooks, as we have seen, had al blance to fossil coral, so that it is em derly hastened through the groups on "The'trial progressed and judgment . the graveled road in front, and, halting, ready gone on his mission to the station. ployed by jewelers for the manufacture was reudered in favor of my client for Not a soul was there to whom he could of faucy objects, by binders for making raised his hand in picturesque salute, the mule, hut in the absence of the intrust the duty, yet he knew he could the eyes of Central City looking on: shagreen and by cabinet makers for pol property, the justice said: not allow such a breach of military pro “ The colonel’s messages are delivered, ishing wood. The fins, independent of “ 'The mule was wuth a hunderd dol nse by some as an article of food, are lars, an' as the lawyer let 'im git away, and the carriage w ill be at the station." priety to occur right under his eyes. There seemed no help for it; he had to “ Very well, Brooks. Now you your superior for conversion into fish glne, I'll render judgment agin 'ini for a self go down and be on the lookout for go himself; and, by no means liking his competing in this line with the well hundred dollars an' costs, an' the sher duty, Capt. Cross, of the infantry, has CoL Lawler, a tall, sandy haired, sandy known sturgeon glne prepared in Rus iff'll imprison 'im 'till the cost are paid.’ bearded man, rather slender, nearly 00 tened out on the parade, and with the sia, and are used for clarifying beer, "Of course the proceedings were il eyes of both lines upon him, though the -errs of age; report to him and get his wine and other liquors, also for the legal. but as 1 did not have enough baggage into the wagonette and bring heads of the troops remained scrupu preparation of English taffetas and as money in my pockets to pay the costs, him here to my quarters, and say that 1 lously fixed to the front, he stepped up reagents in chemistry, etc. The flesh, I was locked up in the log stable until to Mr. Abrams, tapped him on the would have met him but was detained too, despite its oily taste, is in some I could send thirty miles over the shoulder, and civilly said: at parade." places eaten as food, and, along with mountains and get the cash. All duy “ I beg your pardon, sir, but no one is Again the orderly saluted, then faced the bones, is converted into a fertilizer. long I staid in the impromptu jail, and allowed on the parade ground. I shall about and strode away through the — Revue Scientifique. as It grew dark my thoughts were not have to trouble you to fall back to the swarm of curious eyes which followed of a pleasant nature. Suddenly a nose A N a rro w Shave. roadway." him a moment, then turned once more stuck threw the chinks. It was the Mr. Abrams looked angrily around. open the gorgeons and gleaming propor “ I was making for a place where the lost mule, and I have never tie—ti as glad tions of the warrior putting on his white What! Be compelled to quit his position? parapet had been worn down by men leather gloves and buttoning them at the —to fall bark in humiliation before all running over it in order to avoid the ex to see any living creature, as I was to wrist with much deliberation. Mrs. those people and meekly take his station “I shall expect to see you appearing In ertion of mounting np even four feet, greet that long-eared representative of the role of counselor / ’ Morris being in her own room, arraying among them, and actually to have to when a yonng soldier passed me on my the equine race. I succeeded in mak / herself tor tue Lauc dinner party, and confess that, after all, a newspaper man Three of the infantry captains were left side, and donbtless not noticing I ing the owner of the stable hear me, the veran la being vacant, he then called wasn't the monarch of all he surveyed? present with their wives. Pretty Jean was wounded knocked my arm heavily, and in a few minutes the mule had to his adjutant, who came along the path Never! nette McCrea, who was visiting the saying, ‘Move on, sir, please. ’ As he taken my place in the stable." way at the moment, a vision of floating “ I'm here in the interest of the journal Burnhams, was escorted in by Dr. Inger- passed ovgr the parapet with his rifle at Queer F a cts About Air. yellow plume and brilliant aiguillette, X represent, and I have full authority soll, popularly repnted to be an intract the trail, I caught it by the smaTfofthe The celebrated chemist of the slx- and after a moment s conversation with from the commanding general to inspect able bachelor, yet privately believed to butt to pull myself np. He turned ronnd his chief that young gentleman made his anything at this post,” was his instant angrily, asking, ‘What are you doing?’ I teenth century who argued that It way to where a couple of town carriages answer, accompanied by a shrug of his be melting beneath the tenderness of and while his face was bent on mine, a would be Impossible for us to live on that young lady's sweet blue eyes; and were drawn up along the edge of the shoulders and an ugly scowl. Georgia Marshall found herself sitting ronnd shot, passing my ear, struck him 1 the earth's surface if the atmosphere parade and presented the colonel's com “ I cannot help that," was Cross's cool I full between the shoulders, and I step would suddenly increase to twice its pliments to the occnpants, the ladles of yet civil reply. “ You can see just as vis-a-vis with Mrs. Brodie, a somewhat ped over his body, so exhausted as to be present thickness could not have been portly matron, who seemed cat>able of the postmaster's and leading banker's well from the edge of the parade, and imbibing information through every pore [ strangely indifferent to the preservation far wrong after all: that Is. If die ox- households, inviting them to bring their here you will be in the way." and storing it for future use, and yet at | of my own life, saved by the soldier hav- jieriments of Dr. Arnott are to be taken friends and come and sit on his piazza. “I can't see it clear back there, and I the same time imparting new and start j ing jostled me ont of my tnrn at the as conclusive. In bis observations on Mr Abrams, of Chicago, who was at mean to stay where I can see and hear. ling opinions on all current topics with I gap. ” — “ The Crimea In 1854," by Sit atmospheric pressure at the bottoms of the moment the center of a knot of men, If there's anything I don't understand I the deep mining shafts of Europe, Prof. intensified volubility. Her eyes took in E. Wood. young and old, qnitted their society, and wish to be where Col. Morris can ex Arnott has found that the change be every detail of the tasteful appoint IT a n ia n S y m p a t h y . with his customary deliberation saun plain. " tween the readings of a barometer at ments of the table. Her nos'rils inhaled "What has become of Miss Blank, tered over, opened the colonel's gate and Thanks to the banging of the band, all the fragrance of the roses and carnations who was always such a favorite in yum the bottom of a fonr-thousaud-foot with careless ease of manner accosted this was inaudible to the coiouei, who lavished on every hand. Her lips parted set?" shaft and one at the surface is great that official, “ Fine evening, colonel," remained in blissful ignorance of the to receive the succulent little clam—rare "Her father failed some weeks ago, enough to warrant him In making the and then lowered himself into the near colloquy taking place so near him. and unaccustomed luxury west of the and all they had was sold by auction." Statement that air at the bottom of n est chair just as the officer, with a face “ You cannot stay here, sir." was the Missouri, yet easily expressed from St. i shaft twenty miles deep would he ns "Poor thing that flushed unmistakably, excused him firm, low toned answer. “I w ill take Louis—and to give utterance at the same “ And now they have to live in a lit dense as water. Figuring on the saiit self, passed him by and hastened down pains to explain everything to you after instant to liveliest comments upon the tle rented honse down town. " patio he finds that if a hole could the step« to greet the entering ladies, you retire some twenty yards, but I unusual feature of that evening's parade. "What a change. How she mnst sunk forty miles into the bowels or while the adjutant, hurrying on to trust you will not make it necessary for It was not until after soup and the tiny grieve!’’ earth the density of the air at the where his sergeant major was awaiting me to be more imperative. Come, sir!" thimbleful of sherry that audible con And so, w ith the worst possible grace, " Y es; she is so much changed that tom would be as great as that of o him at the edge of the greensward, sig versation seemed to extend beyond her. silver. naled the band, and the stirring notes of Mr. Abrams had to give ground, and. and then Miss Marshall, who had been even her best friends would not recog- “ adjutant's call," followed by the burst accompanied by the officer of the day, | nize her. I met her on the street today A N a tio n o f C o ffe e D r in k e r * . endeavoring to entertain Capt. Brodie of martial strains in swinging six-eight fall back to the general throng. To j and did not know her at all, poor and distract his mind from contempla The Americans are a coffee-drinkiug time, heralded the coming of the troops cover his mortification as much as pos tion of his better h alf s undannted con thing 1” — New York Journal. people. The last fiscal year the value sible. Cross, in a smiling and courteous of the whole command. versational powers, found herself ad of coffee imported into the Fnlted S u rH y N ot. Company after company, the cavalry manner, went on to explain the purpose dressed by the gentleman on her right: States exceeded the value of any other Customer—Can't yon wait upon me? from the west, the infantry from the and details of the parade. But Abrams “ And so yon are from Cincinnati. Miss single article, amounting to a total of mat end of the quadrangle, came march only turned angrily away. Twice he Marshall, and paying yonr first visit to I've been here for nearly an honr. Two F.*S1.»,T17. ordinarily sugar stands pounds of liver, please. essayed to stop and face about, but ing forth upon the level green carpet, west? Now, what do you think of at the head of the list of imports but Cross was getting his blood up by this the Butcher— Sorry, but there're three or the army?” asemingly intermingling in confusion as the excessive importations of sugar In time, and determinedly marched along four ahead of you. Surely you don’t they neared the center, yet unerringly “Pardon me. Col. Lawler, but isn't to the very edge of the tittering line of want yonr liver out of order?—San 1SM ln anticipation of the tax ini and unhesitatingly marching onward, p.'sed by the tariff out Importations townspeople, and there, raising his cap, that a trifle like the query we are said to Francisco Chronicle. until presently, with the solid blue and propound to Englishmen who hare just down from *1J8,SSIS.8S'J in ism to $7T . ■aid with the utmost civility: white hattalion in the center, and with The bishop of Carlisle boasts that he 7W T J- m l« f,. During the current “ And now. sir, if I can be of the faint landed? How do you like America?" th e yellow plumed helmets of the cav “ But I inferred that yon had been “ can sew a button on better than any nscal year a large increase In the rev est assistance in making this ceremony alry parading afoot on both flanks, the woman. " The late bishop of Worcester enne may be anticipated from increased clear to you, command me. You will here long enongh to form an opinion." long atatueeqne line stretched nearly “To form one vaguely, perhaps, but learned to knit, so as to be able to take receipts from sugar duties. observe that the adjutant is coming out half wlfr across the longest axis of the probably not long enongh to subject it np bis w ife's dropped stitches when she i to occupy the very position you were in." quadrangle. Company after company, to the test of experience. ' . * • * T h * ‘ T im e . old. But Mr. Abrams was in the sulks, as th e white gloved hands clasped in front v\h.n I want to know.” said the i "And do you never express opinions | was to be expected, and still more In France it is believed that when a early oyster, “is whether I am to be ffi o f each man as its commander ordered I wrathfully turned his back, refusing to until assured of their justice? Really. white pigeon settles upon ■ chimney the the 8w.m thig sea «kin.” “ Parade n e t ,” and Col. Morris himself, | listen, so that Cross promptly left him Miss Marshall. I most compliment yon w ho had with much deliberate dignity “Not this time." said the cook, as he on such wisdom and discretion. Yon incident betokens speedy death for some to his own devices. The representative should inmate of the bouse. have been a lawyer.” o f manner marched oat in front of the { of The Palladium had sense enough not | ICesT*5 h ai inSO * p*tU* ~ Detro1' Fre* fro be ooHTUiLnaj ÀN ARMY PORTIA. ¿Éà ill 11 ' i à B i f G '111 You've seen twice. These vagaries of fate. The thinner Johnny thinks the ice. The worse he wants to skate. "In love? I guess not!" "Hoti you know?" "They ne' er sit siicu| a minute!” He ito elderly young lady, al ■ a long waltzi—You must cave splendid dancer!—Punch. Duzhy—What's ln that bottle, son? Dooby—I guess there musl there Isn't any label on it.—Itnxi Gazette. Yeast—Do yon give you:' dog nil] erclse? Crlmsonbeak—Oh, yea; he for a tramp nearly every day.- -Yon Statesman. She—1. wish you wouldn’t smoke II cigarette in my presence. Ho i'll throw It away. “On, I didn't ip in that."—Life. iblo. . “Tommy, do you love your teadij ^ *,, “I would If she w asn’t my tea. worj(| said Tommy. "She’s aw ful nlce,’-1HI)e,1( dlanapolis Journal. j cap The safe flew open, and there iiisid thin A receipted gas bill lay. iiitig The batlled burglar shook his hend, jj : "I've come a little too late!" he thici. And lie mournfully turned away. —Chicago Tribune. She—I have heard that you said 1 , ?°D. . . . . , , had a fond of the sound of my own f . .. He—Well, you have yourself adiiil. that you like music.—P b ilu ile lS B F Record. She—I think I will do the cook ln ^ ^ H u self awhile. He—H’ui. That was ilulnin you wanted me to take out more lif*it, §Bei surance for, was It Y— Indianapolis J t an nul. K t Crlmsonbeak—Are you tfoln»: to im Jik masquerade? Yeast—Yes; I expect “How ure you Koiutf?” “Holng ! “That’ll be uo disguise.“—Yonll Statesman. ' ’Tis sweet to love; And it’s just honey To love a girl ^ With lots of money. —Kansas City Journal. “Did you tind that he was a rclnttol “Oh, yes—unmistakably.” “How that?” “He borrowed $1 from in* »ndi jy j' most before I had introduced myi ’on —Chicago Record. ° Maud—What a fool you were of yourself in imitating Charley er. E thel—W ill you tell me If *|0 could im itate him iu any viuu. otb.r . - ner?— Boston T ranscript. ill Maude—You w ouldn’t know my hf ï : now if you m et him. Nell -Why, changed so m uch as th a t? the l T h at isn't it exactly. I’ve Hiaiiifcjjrt: him.—Philadelphia Record. of “ A wood-sawing contest for women!' sed. ' T hat seems up-to-date and quite patl As ai The “sawing,” 1 hear, was successful-Qlupi w But the “say nothing” part, how fbaekw; H .c —New York Recorder. ^ K ro1 Poetleus—H ave you rend S ts ^ ^ K lW. penre's "L ove's L abor Lost ?" Cyni ,e eci> 1 i —No; Imt I’ve taken a girl to the tfa )w a te r. and had her talk to th e m an B ^ ^ « to I her all through the show .—New H clock H erald. i "Doctor. I w ant n tooth pulled. 1 it a g reat cow ard w hen It comes to end^Hhen lng pain, and yet I'm afraid of lM0i£ of laughing gas and chloroform .” plight be happy with ether."—Chic Tribune. D ealer—T his violin, madam, ls | Stradivarius. It is nearly 200 ye old. Mrs. N ew rleh—Y'ou don't supp I would take th a t? I can afford I latest style, let me tell you.—Phil* phia Record. Oh. “busy bee,” exalted so. We'd work like you. we vow. If we could loaf six months or so ;g f, As you are hotting now. j % )10, —Washington Post. j. May—They tell me your e n g ag e m ^ ^ « |l |[u with C harley Gunipleigh is hrok^H How did It happen? (,'arrie—It i*Jiat [ot t g reat m ystery. The fact is. he was fresh to keep; th a t's all.—Boston T rs | script. He 1 who lias ts»eu trying to get ridl her maiden a u n t for the last hoUlf Y'onr a u n t rem inds m e of the fender." She Defender, wliy? H i Because she is a single sticker.—Re lyn Life. Y'enst—Men turn somersaults horseliaek; I suppose before long see them doing It on the bicycle. Cll sonheak Why. m u alive] that w asl tirst tiling I did on a wheel.—Y'oofct Statesm an. "How did you get Borely out of J whist club—did yon ask him to resig "No; we didn't like to do that; but« all resigned except Borely. and we all got together and formed a I club."—Harper’s Bazar. “Ah!" exclaimed the cannibal i smacking his lips, “what kind minister was that we had for dinn "Your excellency," replied his comp Ion, “I should say he was a prime I Ister."—Y'onkers Statesman. "H hat kind of a man is Skin Does he do much in the way of t saining?" "Entertaining! Why. ner is a good enough fellow in hi* ’ but he thinks too mnch o f bis to spend it in feeding people. I don't believe Skinner is bosplll enough n entertain a grudge."—I T ranscript. M